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(I-Mockery)   I-Mockery's ultimate guide to the Halloween candies of 2006 (over 30 different candy varieties reviewed)   (i-mockery.com) divider line 51
    More: Amusing  
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12850 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Sep 2006 at 3:01 AM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2006-09-20 04:21:56 AM  
Now I'm jonesing for a chocolate candy donut that bleeds.
 
2006-09-20 08:18:26 AM  
Candy corn, in any form, is scarier than anything the depths of Hell could conjure up.
 
2006-09-20 08:57:26 AM  
Yankee has a Buttercream/Candy Corn combo candle that makes me drool like a baby.
 
2006-09-20 12:22:16 PM  
The novelty candy is fine, but Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are still my favorite.
 
2006-09-20 04:04:43 PM  
Who sells the Fear Factor candy?
 
2006-09-20 08:26:06 PM  
farsidehobbes: The novelty candy is fine, but Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are still my favorite.

I steal that and the little Mr. Goodbars every year. Hell yeah.
 
2006-09-20 08:28:20 PM  
Oh and the crunch bars. I love kids doing work for me. Work slaves, work!
 
2006-09-20 08:29:44 PM  
are we getting competing X-E and I-M?

/reeses
//or candy cigs.
 
2006-09-21 03:16:47 AM  
mmmmmmmmm.... bleeding candy donut....

/i'll take 12
 
2006-09-21 03:17:37 AM  
They need to figure out a way to distribute pumpkin ice cream in candy form. I would wear a costume for that.
 
2006-09-21 03:18:41 AM  
I had a bad experience with “Sweet Tarts” after my brother dared me to eat all the ones we had left a month after Halloween. On the other hand Multi-colored vomit is pretty.
 
2006-09-21 03:24:25 AM  
Halloween blows. Why encourage the little bastards?

/hate kids
//hated them when I was a kid too
///parents can fark off, hate my own kids as well as yours
////get off my farking lawn
//my grandkids are angels
//just set my record for slashies and hypocrisy in one post
 
2006-09-21 03:31:09 AM  
www.umass.edu

All Candy Corn in existence was made in 1939. Every year after Halloween they just go to the dumpsters to get all the stuff people threw away so they can re-package it for next year
 
2006-09-21 03:46:20 AM  
Brings back memories of my parents taking the good stuff to "test for safety"...uh huh
 
2006-09-21 03:49:18 AM  
A short list of things I learned while trick-or-treating until I was 27:
1) Snickers, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, and Butterfingers are delicious.
2) Tootsie rolls, candy corn those weird strawberry candies are disgusting
3) Anyone who gave out popcorn balls (WTF is that!) got TP'd
4) Anyone who gave out toothbrushes or Chick Tracts, I set their house on fire and shot them as they ran to safety.
 
2006-09-21 03:51:07 AM  
i liked tootsie rolls.


also one time we ran outta candy and gave a kid a microwaveable pizza.. his face lit up.

"mommy mommy i go tpizza!"

we had to turn off the lights an dhide in the basement so the neighborhood kids wouldnt sturm us over our groceries...
 
2006-09-21 03:51:25 AM  
Candy corn..in Taffy form!?!?!?

*Drools, then proceeds to buy 100 bags*

/Good thing we don't get trick-or-treaters around here.
//Considering reliving my childhood this year by actually going trick-or-treating.
 
2006-09-21 03:55:47 AM  
Ah, good to see my birthday is no longer a virgin when it comes to the devil.
 
2006-09-21 04:02:07 AM  
I'm almost certain I used to get Vanilla Tootsie Rolls during Halloween when I was a kid, but the link makes it sound like it is something new. Even Wikipedia says they were only introduced in 2005. So am I crazy or are they liars?
 
2006-09-21 04:05:51 AM  
X-E > I-M
 
2006-09-21 04:08:40 AM  
Gormenghast: I'm almost certain I used to get Vanilla Tootsie Rolls during Halloween when I was a kid


i remember them from when i was little, but they may not have been the tootsie roll brand.
 
2006-09-21 04:10:33 AM  
When I saw the Jolly Rancher Lollipops, I thought about Dane Cook's bit, then I saw he said he likes green apple, so I thought about Dane stabbing him in the jaw. Then I read a little more and he said "There is no better flavor for a Jolly Rancher, and I'll fight anyone to the death who says otherwise. TO THE DEATH!". Then I thought he is ripping off Dane Cook here... Then I remembered Dane ripped off Louis C.K. who can complain.

/Still Love Dane Cook.
//Leary stole from Hicks and I love both of them.
///Currently listening to Artie Lange.
////FIIIIRRRREEEE!
 
eX7
2006-09-21 04:11:54 AM  
"I ate all of my Mellowcreme Pumpkins before I could photograph them.
I'm such a failure. :( "


Hahahahaha!
 
2006-09-21 04:17:19 AM  
The vanilla tootsie rolls have been around for years, only see them around Halloween though. I wish you could just buy bags of the flavored tootsie rolls instead of having to buy the big mix bags, I love the vanilla and orange ones.

If you like the vanilla ones and you can find a place to get asian candy, white rabbits are sort of like the vanilla tootsie rolls but more creamy, good substitute to get you through the year.
 
2006-09-21 04:25:02 AM  
"Who sells the Fear Factor candy?"

LesserEvil, you can find it at most seasonal Halloween shops and Target stores too. Enjoy the rich pork flavor.

"mmmmmmmmm.... bleeding candy donut....
/i'll take 12
"

Raspil, I hope you mean as an appetizer, because 12 is definitely not enough to get you through October... let alone a day. It's a bleeding chocolate candy donut. Life just doesn't get any better than that.

"3) Anyone who gave out popcorn balls (WTF is that!) got TP'd"

Ensign_Ricky, you probably didn't even need the TP since the popcorn balls themselves are usually so hard and stale by Halloween that they make great window-shattering projectiles.

"I'm almost certain I used to get Vanilla Tootsie Rolls during Halloween when I was a kid, but the link makes it sound like it is something new. Even Wikipedia says they were only introduced in 2005. So am I crazy or are they liars?"

Gormenghast, well you could get them in multi-flavor packs. I'm guessing what's "limited" here is the fact that they're selling just the vanilla flavored ones in a bag of their own. Don't think they've done that before. Personally, I'll still stick with the chocolate ones...

"I thought about Dane Cook's bit, then I saw he said he likes green apple"

TheNyquilKid, does he? In that case, I'd like to retract my statement and go with grape because I can't stand Dane's stand-up. Only thing of his I heard that ever made me laugh was some routine about the Kool-Aid man ruining his walls.

/David Cross and Harland Williams are much funnier stand-ups.
 
2006-09-21 04:44:04 AM  
I came in to say Candy corn sucks. That is all.
 
2006-09-21 04:46:20 AM  
Ah ok, makes sense. I am glad that I'm not crazy. Thanks I-Mockery collective.
 
2006-09-21 04:46:24 AM  
I know it is a little 'off topic' but it is terrible to see Fark, which like all web sites should be FREE, trying to fund itself by accepting obviously 'sponsored links' from Big Candy who have been artificially inflating the prices of succulent empty calories...oh, sorry, that was oil wasn't it?

/that is all
 
2006-09-21 04:47:08 AM  
tootsie roll company made vast array of flavors, probly was something vanill there at some poitn...
 
2006-09-21 04:52:03 AM  
Sock Puppet Army: Candy corn sucks

Dear Playboy,

I love to grab them by their fat yellow butts, then bite off the chalky white wax-covered tips. I mosten the sugar with my saliva and savor the flavor while licking the waxy covering off my incisors. Then, I like to suck on the orange part violently, enjoying every lick and suck. Finally, after all that foreplay, I pop the yellow fattie into my mouth and forcefully chomp on it as I eagerly look into the bag for the next one, ready to do it all over again.
 
2006-09-21 04:53:50 AM  
I must have been spanked back-handed. I like Candy Corn.

/Stuff
//The
///Pumpmkin
////Up
 
2006-09-21 05:04:05 AM  
Mikailus: I know it is a little 'off topic' but it is terrible to see Fark, which like all web sites should be FREE, trying to fund itself by accepting obviously 'sponsored links'


Oh, dear. You're going to get a timeout. That's a bruised sore spot you're poking there.
 
2006-09-21 05:50:54 AM  
Gormenghast: So am I crazy or are they liars?

Probably both.
 
2006-09-21 07:04:01 AM  
bakatare I can take it. These mods don't scare me. Free internets for all I say!!!

/Drew drinks crap beer too
//Grolsch rules!
///so there
 
2006-09-21 07:07:08 AM  
Snickers Pumpkins FTW!!!!
 
2006-09-21 08:02:24 AM  
No love for Maryjanes?
pittsburghdish.typepad.com
 
2006-09-21 08:02:30 AM  
I live in a small community, where everybody knows each other... I give out bags of homemade fudge (brown sugar and chocolate - creamy not gross/sugary) every year. Meh, I only ever get 4 'goblins' on average.
 
2006-09-21 08:07:03 AM  
"are we getting competing X-E and I-M?"

No..... There is no competition. X-E is actually humorous, I-M is a waste of bandwidth.
 
2006-09-21 08:19:28 AM  
I must say, all of the pumpkin-themed items are quite attractive, both aesthetically and in the promise of tasty goodness within.

/bias?
//what bias?
 
2006-09-21 08:21:46 AM  
farsidehobbes [TotalFark]

The novelty candy is fine, but Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are still my favorite.

The limited edition ones W Caramel are farking awesome.
 
2006-09-21 08:32:13 AM  
Where the heck did they find all that stuff? My local stores always only carry the jumbo sized individual packs of standard candy like little snickers bars, rockets etc.

I liked the look of the gummy body parts, and the donut kicks butt.
 
2006-09-21 08:53:48 AM  
I-Mockery: "Who sells the Fear Factor candy?"

LesserEvil, you can find it at most seasonal Halloween shops and Target stores too. Enjoy the rich pork flavor.


Thanks for the info. Target is one place I did not stop at yesterday (though I found the Candy Corn Taffy at Wal*Mart, which I had to get for my wife).

Around here in Michigan, the Vanilla Tootsie Rolls seem to be only available at Big Lots.
 
2006-09-21 10:19:17 AM  
Cannot wait to get a bleeding donut. Never had one, so I will be in for quite the sugar high.

I hate the black and orange peanut butter kisses. HATE!

Currently, I am looking for Mr. Goodbar. He owes me.
 
2006-09-21 10:35:01 AM  
Gormenghast!
They are LYARS!!! my brother and i would fight over the vanilla tootsie rolls back in the day. dems da shiat...wtf is up with the misinformation on the vanilla tootsie rolls?

/srrsly wtf
 
2006-09-21 10:52:18 AM  
Vanilla Tootsie Rolls have been around forjustaboutever (as long as I can remember, but admittedly, my memory sucks). I have always bought the bags of mixed flavors, only to pull out all the vanilla before passing out the candy to the neighborhood hoodlums.

Last year was the first time I ever saw a bag of ONLY vanilla tootsie rolls. I went back a week later for another bag and they were all gone. I was, of course, hoping it hadn't been just a Halloween thing, but my waistline is happy it was.
 
2006-09-21 10:59:33 AM  
mmmm crunchy frog - heap good!
 
2006-09-21 11:06:44 AM  
There is nothing better to receive on Halloween than Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
 
2006-09-21 12:42:25 PM  
My best friend's dad worked at the tootsie roll factory (no off-color jokes, please) and he always brought home the five pound mixed bags. The mini tootsie rolls in there included chocolate, vanilla, orange, lime, lemon, and cherry. Of course, the cherry and orange surpass the other flavors by light-years.

KitKats and Three Musketeers were always my top choices. Along with the Smarties and other non-chocolate flavored candies.

The grosses candies are those peanut butter blobs that come in black or orange wrapping. Those were given out by the cheap-asses (and even if they were expensive (which they might be, I have no idea) we still thought them cheap) and were always the last candies eaten. They are the candy-rejects. The ones you might get around to eating but more likely would feed the dog to watch her struggle to get it off her teeth and cause her to lick her chops for an hour.
 
2006-09-21 03:19:05 PM  
I got some Candy Corn Taffy the other day at Wal-mart. It's da bomb.
 
2006-09-21 06:25:59 PM  
Who the fark do I have to wedgie to get a Pumpkin Delight around here?
 
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