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(Arizona Star)   Just in time for the kick off of National Single's Week - Dating Do's and Don'ts   (azstarnet.com) divider line 254
    More: Amusing  
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25864 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Sep 2006 at 1:57 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-09-17 03:27:56 PM  
Wow Vangor. I only read the first few sentences of the linked article, but you probably should've written it based on your post (which I did read). Nice post!
 
2006-09-17 03:28:33 PM  
nuclear_asshat: Just never come off as needy and desperate.
...what if you ARE desperate?
 
2006-09-17 03:31:14 PM  
2006-09-17 02:56:56 PM F42

F42
, thy name is "Sour McBitterman". :)

/doesn't necessarily disagree...
 
F42
2006-09-17 03:32:12 PM  
good ole flopp: for average humans i'd say the personality is much more based on memories than genetics.


You might want to read about Jugian personality types and the Myers Briggs (sp?) test.

In the meatime, since this is a huge and complex topic, you can read about subset at hand.

quote: "Commentators such as Jonathan Rauch have observed that extroversion tends to be seen as normal and desirable in Western and particularly US society, and that introverts can be viewed as antisocial and arrogant."
 
2006-09-17 03:32:35 PM  
Mugato: I'm glad there aren't a lot of self righteous married farkers in here . . .

I'm a self-righteous married Farker, so I am really getting a kick out of some of these replies . . .
 
2006-09-17 03:33:39 PM  
Err, I'm with justanotherfarkinfarker, what's this dating nonsense?

Doesn't everyone just get drunk and fark someone by accident and then sort out whether you want to see them again later on?
 
F42
2006-09-17 03:34:00 PM  
fatassbastard: "Sour McBitterman". :)
/doesn't necessarily disagree...


Not... sure what you're referring to.

Oh, the have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too feminism? Yes, yes I am.
 
2006-09-17 03:36:06 PM  
or you could have a 9" by 9" wiener... (NSFW)
 
2006-09-17 03:38:05 PM  
KamelRed wins the thread.
 
2006-09-17 03:39:03 PM  
Can't say I wasn't warned, but damn you to hell anyway b403!
 
2006-09-17 03:39:15 PM  
Gothnet: Doesn't everyone just get drunk and fark someone by accident and then sort out whether you want to see them again later on?

Yup. Pretty much.
 
2006-09-17 03:43:29 PM  
tonesskin not at all sure if that was sarcastic or not, so I will say with /sarcasm on and /sarcasm off : Thanks, hope it helped (you bastard is applied here in the case of sarcasm)
 
2006-09-17 03:43:35 PM  
Vangor: Yet I am paranoid out of my damn mind.

Dude, you need to go on a weekend bender and get yourself a hooker. Life doesn't need to be that complicated.

/some salient points, tho
 
2006-09-17 03:44:13 PM  
tonesskin

I've dated shy girls, and no, I don't think they're fundamentally different. You just need to be a little more aggressive than usual, that's all. The best way to find out how she feels is to escalate things physically and see how she responds. Then you'll know for sure, right? If you wonder about about whether she likes you or not, you'll be unconsciously sending messages that turn her off. If you simply assume that she wants you, you'll be unconsciously sending messages that turn her on. It's the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing. So stop wondering. She wants you, bro.

Next time you see her, do the following: Walk her to her car, lean against it, and pull her in for a kiss. If she's receptive to the kiss, let the groping commence. If not, she'll still respect you for having the guts to go for it.

Another tip: When you're looking each other in the eye, hold eye contact until she looks away first. This is probably the number one most important thing. It communicates interest and confidence. If there's ever an uncomfortable silence, where you're just gazing in each other's eyes, that's when it's especially important not to be the first to look away. Don't try to fill the silence either. Just let it be awkward - that's sexual tension, which is a good thing. In fact, this is a good time to go in for a kiss. You can test the water first by touching her hair. If she's receptive to that, she'll also be receptive to a kiss. If she pulls away when you touch her, you can always just bust on her for having split ends or something.

Another good idea: before going in for a kiss, initiate touch. It can be as simple as touching her knee to emphasize a point in your conversation. Don't do it too much. Two or three times is probably sufficient.

Let me know how it goes.
 
2006-09-17 03:44:31 PM  
Mom2QJandT: Step it up a bit and make her know that you are interested.

ah yes

enter "don't be too interested or she'll get creeped out"

/hate it
//usually just sleeps with girls the first evening and gets to know them later if they are worthy
///makes better friends that way
 
2006-09-17 03:44:58 PM  
"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
 
2006-09-17 03:45:54 PM  
from bitter personal experience: Don't rip the whole 'psychic medium' industry to shreds when the girl you want to impress just went to one and got in contact with one of her dead relatives.
 
2006-09-17 03:47:20 PM  
img182.imageshack.us
 
2006-09-17 03:48:38 PM  
tonesskin not at all sure if that was sarcastic or not, so I will say with /sarcasm on and /sarcasm off : Thanks, hope it helped (you bastard is applied here in the case of sarcasm)

Oh, sorry, not sarcastic. Although I don't think you should go around being paranoid, but I think you made some good points and wrote a much better post than that "article."
 
2006-09-17 03:50:45 PM  
Don't rip the whole 'psychic medium' industry to shreds when the girl you want to impress just went to one and got in contact with one of her dead relatives.

HAHAHAHA! That's awesome! You should have just said, "I just think some of them aren't honest and probably didn't also notice that you are followed by a spirit whose name begins with a, ummmm, C or D or G or W or T..."
 
2006-09-17 03:51:02 PM  
This thread needs more Shiatty McCrapsalot.
 
F42
2006-09-17 03:53:56 PM  
Ok, seriously, the whole "He's Just not that Into You" thing.
Damn.

I mean, really, all of those are situations where I've been thinking "shiat, I thought she liked me, but she's dating the first random jerk that asked her out. Too bad"

Like, seriously, this is not cool.
All of those are "if the guy is not actively trying to get in your pants, drop him". Basically: If he's shy, shrug him off.

These farkers are actually saying that all introverted/shy guys have never been "into" anyone, since they're not acting like extroverts. Acting like an extrovert being the only sign of real attractin to these assholes. fark, I could just strangle them.
 
2006-09-17 03:54:03 PM  
Bah. I like being unattached. What possible reason could I have to change that?

Asking me to keep a woman happy is like asking Fred Flintstone to program your VCR. I'd have better luck picking Powerball numbers.

A girlfriend is like a PS3. I would get one, and it would be nice to have, but it costs more than it's worth.

Seriously, why bother?
 
2006-09-17 03:54:53 PM  
Is me, or was that article one big advertisement for match.com?

Speaking of which...so...what do most farkers use for online dating...?
 
2006-09-17 03:55:38 PM  
sevens1997: Seriously, why bother?

Pubed yet?
 
2006-09-17 03:56:53 PM  
"There aren't any expectations this way, and there's no motivation for someone to lie to you about themselves over e-mail."

bahahahah just enter your credit card details here for super fun happy time, bil­lga­t­e­s­[nospam-﹫-backwards]tf­os­orcim­*co­m
 
2006-09-17 03:57:08 PM  
Speaking of which...so...what do most farkers use for online dating...?

The real world...

Although Facebook is a great tool for "casual" notes. I just prefer meeting people when I'm not trying to meet people. Like running into them randomly, striking up a conversation somewhere, etc.

Otherwise, you never know if you are getting someone who just wants to expand their dating horizons or someone who is out to find a spouse immediately.

Then again, I also don't pick up people at bars for the same reasons.
 
2006-09-17 03:57:52 PM  
Denial

enter "don't be too interested or she'll get creeped out"

It's all about HOW you express interest. If your expression of interest communicates, "I find you attractive and I'm the kind of guy who takes what I want," that's going to work. But if your expression of interest communicates, "I find you attractive and I'm not worthy of you - please like me!", that's where chicks get creeped out.

The best way to express interest is non-verbally, using eye contact, physical touch, and the first kiss. Never express interest verbally. Also, you obviously don't want to telegraph your interest by calling too often, being clingy, supplicating, seeking approval, etc., etc. There are a million and one ways that guys communicate feelings of unworthiness to a chick - instant turn-off. Identify and eliminate those tells.
 
2006-09-17 04:00:12 PM  
F42

If it makes you feel any better, I'm dating a guy who was really, REALLY shy to begin with. But I gambled that he was "into me," and it worked out eventually.

Also, I'm a feminist. With a better job than his. And I pay when we go out. And I really, really, really doubt that I am the only in farkette of which this is true.
 
2006-09-17 04:01:21 PM  
Is me, or was that article one big advertisement for match.com?

Speaking of which...so...what do most farkers use for online dating...?


Online dating? Did you learn nothing from that douchebag who pretended to be a young woman on Craigslist and then used the responses to embarrass the shiat out of everyone? (You do know what I'm referring to, right?)
 
F42
2006-09-17 04:04:40 PM  
s c o t t: There are a million and one ways that guys communicate feelings of unworthiness to a chick - instant turn-off. Identify and eliminate those tells.


That's damn good advice.
 
2006-09-17 04:05:23 PM  
Online dating? Did you learn nothing from that douchebag who pretended to be a young woman on Craigslist and then used the responses to embarrass the shiat out of everyone? (You do know what I'm referring to, right?)

Yep. I learned that shame and embarrassment are tools by which one person exploits another. They're unique in that they require the active participation of the victim in order to work.
 
F42
2006-09-17 04:06:48 PM  
office_despot: If it makes you feel any better, I'm dating a guy who was really, REALLY shy to begin with. But I gambled that he was "into me," and it worked out eventually.

Well, I'm not feeling any worse... I guess that counts, since I was exepriencing a sinking feeling of doom :)

Now, to figure out why I remember your account name... rings a bell, no idea why.
 
2006-09-17 04:10:15 PM  
I knew a kid who wanted to bring Magic cards to a girls birthday party. He never saw anything wrong with that.

He also loved Calculus. I dunno, can he be saved?
 
2006-09-17 04:11:26 PM  
National Single's Week

Hooray... we're lame now!
 
2006-09-17 04:11:35 PM  
Well, you might have met me, I go to Fark parties....

Or we might have been in an argument over my flaming feminism, it happens....

Or about anything, really, I like to argue online.
 
F42
2006-09-17 04:12:53 PM  
jesuseatsbabies: I knew a kid who wanted to bring Magic cards to a girls birthday party. He never saw anything wrong with that.
He also loved Calculus. I dunno, can he be saved?


Yikes.
That's a lot of nerd to digh through to save him.
 
F42
2006-09-17 04:13:42 PM  
office_despot: Well, you might have met me, I go to Fark parties....

I don't

Or we might have been in an argument over my flaming feminism, it happens....

Sounds about right, I'm quite bitter about the feminism.
 
2006-09-17 04:14:28 PM  
He also loved Calculus. I dunno, can he be saved?

Once he goes to college, he can. With the exception of people with certain clinical disorders, I don't know of anyone who can't find someone. There is nothing wrong with being picky, but anyone can be "saved" if needed.
 
2006-09-17 04:15:05 PM  
parangaricutirimicuaro.blogspot.com

Uhhh.....yeah. Tip #0. Look as good as you can, including shaving your back.
 
2006-09-17 04:15:08 PM  
Online dating? Did you learn nothing from that douchebag who pretended to be a young woman on Craigslist and then used the responses to embarrass the shiat out of everyone? (You do know what I'm referring to, right?)

Yep. I learned that shame and embarrassment are tools by which one person exploits another.


Well, another important lesson is that the women who engage in online dating are sometimes guys. Guys with an agenda that you aren't going to like one bit.
 
2006-09-17 04:15:42 PM  
Bones3D_mac: Hooray... we're lame now!

Yeah!

*goes for a jumping high-five, misses and runs facefirst into a wall*
 
2006-09-17 04:18:19 PM  
I tried picking up conjoined twins once. My opener was, "So ladies, who's up for a game of twister?'.....nothing?
 
2006-09-17 04:20:59 PM  
F42

i've seen enough effects of public speaking courses on average human personalities to know genetic personality disposition is bullshiat.
i said i'd meet you halfway with nature-nurture, but that's the best you'll get.


tonesskin

my overall comment was for you to not waste your time.
make lots of new friends, don't spin your wheels with difficult ones.
 
2006-09-17 04:21:22 PM  
F42
"Commentators such as Jonathan Rauch have observed that extroversion tends to be seen as normal and desirable in Western and particularly US society, and that introverts can be viewed as antisocial and arrogant."

Amen... The man I'm currently in a long term relationship actually thought I was arrogant before he got to know me as a friend because of my shyness... I've heard the same from others... but luckily the confidence has overtaken the shyness and I'm a nice combo of both(ish)
 
2006-09-17 04:21:35 PM  
SecretAgentWoman

so...what do most farkers use for online dating...?

FARK.com on New Year's Eve. :)
 
2006-09-17 04:21:54 PM  
I know this girl in the office. Very cute but awfully quiet. She wouldn't really talk to anyone. I finally just kept peppering her with comments from time to time so she likes me. People like to be included and paid attention to. Then I was asking around about what drinks I should have on one particular night, because I was sick of beer. I get the usual answers; wine, martinis - whatnot. She leans over to me and with a devilish look on her face says in a whisper "Tequila". Quiet boring people do NOT drink shots of Tequila. I started asking if anyone knew anything about her til one of my friends says she's an absolute party animal. He showed me her facebook account. Girl looks like she could make Farley blush.

Just goes to show, people can surprise you.
 
2006-09-17 04:22:29 PM  
F42 Sounds about right, I'm quite bitter about the feminism.

The thing is, though, is that if you want a woman who will put the activation energy into the relationship, and a woman who wants to pay her own way, you are talking about a woman who knows she is just as capable as you are, e.g., a feminist. There is a direct relationship between those things.
 
2006-09-17 04:23:49 PM  
Hm. With my job, I either have money or time, but never both. Another side effect of this problem is that, like the guy in the article, I don't have any hobbies conducive to meeting women. Frankly, I almost don't have any hobbies at all. It's just work and the occasional weekend home, where all I want to do is enjoy the downtime, maybe write a little or play some guitar.

I've taken a month or two off in the past, but that doesn't work out too well, either. You can maybe have some meaningless little fling in that time, or get suckered by another money-sponge, but nothing worthwhile can happen.

My solution is just to say "eh, fark it." Obviously, I've got too many problems of my own to sort out first.

/like you really wanted to know all this
 
2006-09-17 04:24:02 PM  
tonesskin

I did, but by then the damage had been done
 
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