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(Yahoo)   "Woman pleads guilty in fake penis case"   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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9753 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Sep 2006 at 1:46 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

28 Comments     (+0 »)
2006-09-16 01:49:50 AM  
for the sake of boobs
2006-09-16 01:52:14 AM  
Worst case of penis envy EVER!
2006-09-16 01:57:07 AM  
The clerk, however, believing the lifelike device to be a severed penis, called police.

2006-09-16 02:05:17 AM  
I saw the city name as MONKEE SPORT. I should go to bed.
2006-09-16 02:11:28 AM  
Michael Jackson unavailable to comment.
2006-09-16 02:17:46 AM  
"The clerk, however, believing the lifelike device to be a severed penis, called police."

WTF?? Then what? the clerk nuked the thing anyways? How did it destroy the microwave?
2006-09-16 02:22:27 AM

2006-09-16 02:26:41 AM  

/'O' yeah!!!
2006-09-16 02:30:09 AM
2006-09-16 02:30:33 AM  
Can you be charged with "disorderly conduct" for anything? Because trying to microwave a rubber, urine-filled penis in a corner store microwave is illegal because it constitutes "disorderly conduct"

So my question is: can *anything* be considered "disorderly conduct" and in turn, be charged with "disorderly conduct"?
2006-09-16 02:32:10 AM  
does she drive a McLaren SLR??
2006-09-16 02:40:02 AM  
She had to buy a whole new microwave just cos she momentarily placed a fake peener in the old one? I woulda thought the thing asploded in the microwave and aerosolized scalding pp throughout the store?

Did she think she was not gonna raise questions at her drug test when she used a penis to fill the cup?

What a dummy. She never heard of body heat? Was she gonna get the job when her p was male and cooked? "Yes Miss Creighton, we'd like to offer you the job but your sperm count is down, and your PSA is high, see your urologist. Also we fear you are a human combustion risk."
2006-09-16 02:54:09 AM  
WeenerGord: Also we fear you are a human combustion risk."

:::::::::: snort :::::::::::: out loud, even!!
2006-09-16 02:58:02 AM  
Looks like that cat above sat on a fake penis!
2006-09-16 03:04:46 AM  

As sad as the story is, I'm with you on this one.

Show me a law that says you can't bake a fake penis in public and I'll reconsider.

Disorderly Conduct or crap like 'Behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace' ( UK ) is just a catch-all for 'offences' that just piss cops off.

However, having been all philisophical and so forth, I have to say that if you throw your urine-filled fake weiner in my microwave I will shoot you.
2006-09-16 03:32:35 AM  
Mikailus: Show me a law that says you can't bake a fake penis in public and I'll reconsider.

Do you all see now, why Fark is so farking awesome?

Where else, in our lives, any of us, would we read a phrase like, "Bake a fake penis in public."

This is just too farking awesome. :)
2006-09-16 04:18:16 AM  
"Hey, i need this urine to be body temperature. Instead of warming it up with natural body heat, which would ensure it is the correct temperature and not cause any suspicion, im gona hand a fake penis to a store clerk to nuke it in the mini-mart microwave. You sly fox, you!"

Hah, i bet the lady thought if she wrapped it up in a paper towel the clerk might think its a hotdog.

People like this who take the time to come up with complex yet farking rediculous plans should all be shot.
2006-09-16 04:28:48 AM  

Yeah, I guess the "Model Penal Code" would apply here...
2006-09-16 06:29:48 AM  
Was it lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven?
2006-09-16 07:13:13 AM  
"Woman pleads guilty in fake penis case"

Does anyone know where I can purchase a good quality case to carry around my fake penis?

/snakeskin would be nice
//will settle for leather
2006-09-16 07:29:47 AM  
Day_Old_Dutchie: Was it lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven?

Yes. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
2006-09-16 08:39:55 AM  
Onterrio Smith unavailable for comment
2006-09-16 09:09:56 AM  
woman should have stuck fake penis in her vagina to keep it warm.

2006-09-16 09:25:18 AM  
A woman pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in connection with a bizarre incident in February that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store.

W.T.F. ????????
2006-09-16 09:29:41 AM  
Two follow up questions, your Honor:

1) WTF is a "fake peener"? dild0 ??

2) Who the fark doesn't have their own microwave oven?
2006-09-16 11:20:17 AM  
"Bostic filled a fake penis with his urine that they said Creighton planned to use to pass a drug test to get a job."

Okay so...wait -- let me get this straight. The WOMAN, Creighton, planned to use a FAKE PENIS to pass a drug test?WTF??

I can just hear the hiring manager now: "Ma'am, you passed your drug test but we can't hire you because this position is in the women's underwear department apparently are a man. Biologically speaking, that is..."
2006-09-16 04:57:42 PM  
I think some of you may not realize that the fake penis was probably not your garden variety sex toy. It probably was not a sex toy at all. There are numerous companies that sell realistic looking penii with bladders inside that hold urine. They are designed specifically to deceive people during drug tests. Most likely that is what they were microwaving. They should, of course, have used some other method to heat the urine and have done so in a more private place. That said, replacing the microwave is a complete over-reaction. Its amazing how stupid we are becoming. Its as if people think a plastic penis with a little wee in it will somehow permanently ruin the microwave. It won't. Just clean the damn thing out with some bleach or anti-bacterial. Yes, I would personally use the microwave after it had been properly cleaned.

Arresting them seems like a bit of an over-reaction as well. The cops should probably just have reported them to the health department, which would have fined them. The disorderly conduct charge is just silly. Like somebody pointed out in an above post the law is so vague that pretty much any activity that somebody else gets upset by constitutes disorderly conduct.
2006-09-17 01:30:33 AM  
Ima4nic8or: Shut up.
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