He's a tank.

He's the Juggernaut, biatch!

On the other hand, his parents REALLY don't want him, do they?

dillenger69: I suppose then we'll find out if he can survive a brutal beating from his classmates.

I roffled a bit

the dad may want to get a dna test as well
/just saying

Why? You hiding a secret Evil Cat?

;)

A friend of mine with two daughters has three now. His wife got too horny post-vasectomy and didn't give him enough time to fully clean the pipes.

And tell his real dad that your secret is still safe.

I would also like a Cape Mom.

Jeez Superman's a deadbeat man slut. First he totally takes off with no mention of child support in his movie, now he's got a kid with some random woman and a poor idiot who thinks his broken tool made a baby.

Evil Cat: the dad may want to get a dna test as well
/just saying


So, you think Superman knocked her up eh?

maybe she got pregnant riding a tractor in her bathing suit

The UPS man should be notified.

Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex

/does not pop

Cuckold?

Hey, that's how *I* got here! I tell people, "I wasn't an accident - I was planned Against!"

I hear the Summer time at Cape Mom is simply sublime. Generally good boating weather all year round.

Heh, Howie, do you a few better:

I know a couple that had one kid, planned.

Then, a surprise pregancy...twins, despite birthcontrol.

Then, the next year, ANOTHER surprise pregnancy...triplets.

No fertility drugs, quite the opposite.

He's not laughing.

//went there

Yeah, put bars on the windows lady. Hope you never have a fire...

I'm suprised we don't have a lawsuit pending against the manufacturer of the window and screen.

Maybe she should give her kids a good slap on the ass when they jump on the bed. My mom did and guess what? I never jumped on the farking bed again!

... and yet, it's my next-older sibling that looks nothing like the rest of us. (whew)

Again, landing in a pile of powdered cement might not be that bad. However, landing on concrete might hurt a bit more.

(don't worry about it, even mythbusters screws it up all the time)

My friend recently had a baby. She used a condom, was on the pill and using a diaphragm.




The baby was born wearing armor.

"yeah sure money, I'll go get snipped right now..."
/heads to bar

Christ has risen.

PunGent: Heh, Howie, do you a few better:

I know a couple that had one kid, planned.

Then, a surprise pregancy...twins, despite birthcontrol.

Then, the next year, ANOTHER surprise pregnancy...triplets.

No fertility drugs, quite the opposite.

My cousin had fertility problems, and after three years of treatment finally had her daughter. Less than two years later, without any treatment, she found out she was having twins. An 8-pound girl and a 9-pound boy.

God = Back Door Man

One little monkey jumping on the bed.

He fell out the window and didn't bump his head.

Mama called the doctor and the doctor said:

"Nice parental supervision, dumbass."

/i keed
//glad the little tyke's ok.

And how can this be?
For he is the Kwisatz Haderach!

put a hockey jersey on that bastard.. the Canucks need him!

rancidPlasma - Vancouverite too? Nucks need anything they can get.

/knows someone that had a kid after getting a vasectomy - turned out he was in the 10-15% that it didn't work for
//got it redone after finding out obviously
///probably never told the kid

ORLY?

/Boring as hell

mr. mister: i thought i knew his work well -- that's a new one to me. brilliant!

chefaj
Maybe she should give her kids a good slap on the ass when they jump on the bed. My mom did and guess what? I never jumped on the farking bed again!

That's because you're a farkin' pussy.

/I keed

I hear he survived a train wreck, too.

I always knew three year olds were bouncy.

/former babysitter

Christian had a concussion, a slight laceration to the liver and a bruised lung.

Hardly just "a few bruises"

"...he's always been her "miracle boy."

Christian's father, Nasar, had gotten a vasectomy after their daughter was born, but six months later Gia was pregnant with Christian..."

Yeah of course if by miracle you means "mailman".

Walk it off, Tozog!!!

/Sister Feinnes... send in the fat kid, please

Man of Steel, people?

May I remind you that Batman routinely falls from 30 feet onto tables, crates and car roofs in order to make a dramatic apperance?

Screw the Kypton jokes. Get this kid into some martial arts training ASAP. Teach him chemistry, linear algebra and history. Show him the justice systems throughout history, and why "celerity" and "severity" means in the American judicial system. Show him crime, show him the poor, show him the rich, show him peace.