Why did the man steal a hairpiece?

Because he didn't want to pay!

If I wore on my head that merkin
My heart too might stop a workin'

Oh, so he did look in the mirror after all.

A Nation of Criminals. The cost of criminal detention in the United States is an indication of the nation’s moral fiber. U.S. taxpayers are bearing an ever-increasing penalty for America’s broken religious, educational, political and criminal justice systems. More than 13 million adults pass through America’s jails and prisons annually. New laws have increased the current inmate population to 2.2 million. The U.S. has almost 5,000 jails and correctional institutions, which cost an estimated $60 billion per year. (Washington Post, June 8, 2006). One of every 136 people in the U.S. is behind bars. From June 2004 through June 2005, approximately 1,100 inmates per week—more than 500,000 in a year—were added to the prison population. Local jails hold about one-third of U.S. inmates—nearly 750,000—while the remaining 1.4 million are in federal or state prisons, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics. Judges, increasingly reluctant to release people before trial, often hold the accused in local jails (Associated Press, May 22, 2006). Speaking of civil authorities, God’s word says: ”Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God…For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil” (Romans 13:1-3). Additionally, God prophesied through Paul that “in the last days… men will be… lovers of money… disobedient to parents… unholy… unforgiving… without self-control… despisers of good… headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (II Timothy 3:1-5). All of these characteristics are abundant in society now and lead to much greater rates of incarceration.

Now that's a bad hair day.

Man, there'll be hell toupee if it's true.

That happened to me once, but it wasn't a toupee it was a new pair of shoes.

And it wasn't so much a heart attack, but more a burning sensation when I urinate.

Purple toupe'

My pants gave me a sensual massage

/dont even ask about what the toilet seat gave me

safeinsane: Man, there'll be hell toupee if it's true.

He would have been fine if he hadn't wigged out.

don't use the balm

Graft versus Host?

Tobias Funke?

untrustworthy: He would have been fine if he hadn't wigged out.

Yeah, talk about getting a wild hair up your ass, huh?

today is the worst news day ever and i have nothing to do. i freaking hate you guys


/not really

safeinsane: Yeah, talk about getting a wild hair up your ass, huh?

Well, the damned salesman was a bald face liar.

Hate to feed the troll but:

Bigger Bastard: What if we made everything legal? Then we would have no crime detention rate at all, because there would be no crime, therefore, our nation will have the strongest moral fiber, according to your logic.

Yay!

I'll bet they wish they could just sweep this problem under the rug.

He's lucky. I got a hair transplant from a convict who was executed. The hair made me kill the Indian guy at a conveniance store, among others.

Don't mind me I'm just combing this thread for puns.

GIS for "toupee":



/LOLLERSK8S!

nice tennis match guys

untrustworthy: Well, the damned salesman was a bald face liar.

I heard the dude combed through a million other stores and chose this one for some reason.

/ the bad rug KING, baby ...

Jeebers. He gets a heart attack from complaining about his toupee.
Next stop: dentist office, to complain about his porcelain veneers.

How is this not a Photoshop theme? "What else could happen to you if you wear a toupe?"

They'll get to the root cause of the heart attack, perhaps showing the customer to be a bald-faced liar. Then again, maybe he really got the shaft. Eh, I don't really have time to split hairs over the details.

The scriptures have long warned us of the Coming of The Evil...

HELL TOUPEE!!

"That's not a toupee, Kirk, that's a tribble. Now get it off your head."

Sticker Shock?

Already Disturbed: They'll get to the root cause of the heart attack, perhaps showing the customer to be a bald-faced liar. Then again, maybe he really got the shaft. Eh, I don't really have time to split hairs over the details.


Shutup shutup SHUTUP! Terrible! Horrible!

/But then again, I LOL'd...

Damm1t, veedeeveedee beat me to it.



You know you're a laughing stock when your hairpiece looks like a tribble.

"That's not a rat!"

"That's Walter's toupee..."

/The 'burbs FTW

I saw Bob Costas the other day on that football show on HBO. I think he wears one. that disappointed me.

BiggerBastard: All bullshiat, every society that has ever existed has thought that their children were "lovers of money... disobedient to parents... unholy... unforgiving... without self-control... despisers of good... headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God".

I still think that children are hellions today because it is the first time that I have observed that parents in mass enoucage their kids to be hellions. But I digress :) Either way I think we have more ways to go.. We arn't there yet, wait 2 or 3 more generations :)

/I cry for my children and the world they will grown up in on a regular basis.
//Did anyone watch that Mean Girls special on TV last night. Scary stuff.

IT'S COMIN' RIGHT AT US!!

veedeevadeevoodee

I have no idea who that is but it took me about 3 minutes to stop laughing so I could type again.

/lolz!

I tried, but I can't find a picture of Homer wearing Snake's hair. That was the first thing I thought of.

me too

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE!

"A tarantula!"

First thing I thought of.

"You may not beleive this sir, but one of us is actually wearing a toupee!"

"You all are, aren't you?"

Already Disturbed

They'll get to the root cause of the heart attack, perhaps showing the customer to be a bald-faced liar. Then again, maybe he really got the shaft. Eh, I don't really have time to split hairs over the details.>

Having a heart attack over a toupee must have been hair raising.

was it the purple toupee? or gold lemay?

damnit..Pro Zack beat me to it ...bah.

Funny how Traficant's non-touped mug shot didn't make it into the media but Eric Menendez' did isn't it?

Or maybe I just missed it.

WTF? Is that a stock news photo of Marve's peace?

All these low-brow puns are causing me hair loss.
/At least I have my own