FARK.com: (2282988) Remember that U.S. service woman who went missing in Kyrgyzstan and was later "found" safe? Turns out she was just wasted and couldn't find her way back to the base

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		Remember that U.S. service woman who went missing in Kyrgyzstan and was later "found" safe? Turns out she was just wasted and couldn't find her way back to the base (news.yahoo.com)		83
		More: Followup

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19122 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Sep 2006 at 6:15 PM | Favorite | share:

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real shaman		2006-09-11 02:41:15 PM

Gosh, I guess they edited out the wasted part.

"Our first impression was that the woman was severely drunk ... (but) there was no smell of alcohol and we then understood that she was in shock,"

Maybe she was the victum of foul play.

DAR		2006-09-11 02:41:49 PM

Turns out she was just wasted and couldn't find her way back to the base

Been there, done that, twice. Hell of a liberty port both times.

timmy_the_tooth		2006-09-11 02:42:54 PM

I was in the Army during the first gulf war and I can say for certain that my fellow soldiers and I never got wasted.

never happened.

and we never had sex with each other's wives.

never.

nor did we ever fraternize with officers.

never.

because these things are all illegal along with a litany of other things like tattoos and going to certain strip clubs.

so we didn't do them. no siree

fnorgby		2006-09-11 02:42:56 PM

Are we just supposed to accept that story on Blind Faith?

baorao		2006-09-11 02:43:27 PM

Krakhozia?

Manta537		2006-09-11 02:45:00 PM

More evidence is needed before I make my own assumptions.

Stoj		2006-09-11 02:55:16 PM

submitter: Turns out she was just wasted and couldn't find her way back to the base

img56.imageshack.us

HulkHands		2006-09-11 03:01:15 PM

Turns out she was just wasted and couldn't find her way back to the base

Sounds like Ketamine to me.

Diogenes		2006-09-11 03:07:01 PM

Not damning, but it does sound a bit fishy.

My question is: Who dyes their hair when they go on a bender?

timmy_the_tooth		2006-09-11 03:12:12 PM

Diogenes: Who dyes their hair when they go on a bender?

i do.

i have pictures to prove it.

DAR		2006-09-11 03:23:59 PM

Diogenes: My question is: Who dyes their hair when they go on a bender?

Your drinking buddies of course.

/I've seen it done.

Diogenes		2006-09-11 03:26:45 PM

timmy_the_tooth: I could see passing out and getting it shaved.

Is that dye or blood in your pic?

/yes, I'd bone you ;-)

baorao		2006-09-11 03:28:04 PM

Diogenes: My question is: Who dyes their hair when they go on a bender?

I would consider that collateral damage on my path of avoiding cars (driving or getting hit by them) and fistfights while trying to see live, naked breasts.

remus		2006-09-11 03:36:37 PM

From the first report that came out I've been saying Shenanigans. None of the reports add up. I think she might have had some kind of breakdown, perhaps related to her marriage issues, then went out to either run away or get wasted, etc. Then ended up panicked and scared, hence knocking at the door of a random house. Her seeming change of stories sounds like somebody testing their story and editing it as they go to find one that will pass thru.

Dr.Knockboots		2006-09-11 03:36:43 PM

I'm sorry, did i just hear the curfew annoucement?
gotta get back before Town Patrol catches me.

-begins his drunken Osan march-
ooh, a Ms Kim burger? sounds wonderful!

gas giant		2006-09-11 03:57:56 PM

fnorgby: Are we just supposed to accept that story on Blind Faith?

*Snicker*

adiabat		2006-09-11 04:14:15 PM

I think we're all missing the big story here:

She was abducted coming out of a Department Store.

A Department Store in Kyrgyzstan???

That's what I have a hard time believing!

HumbleGod		2006-09-11 04:44:39 PM

It's waaaaay too early to claim we know what's happened here. Give the story time to develop before making assumptions.

timmy_the_tooth		2006-09-11 05:01:32 PM

Diogenes: /yes, I'd bone you ;-)

lol! That's not me! That's my friend and he's a homophobe and a professional wrestler, i took that shot of him after he juiced for his promo pack. headshots of professional wrestlers are a bit different. but thanks.

rikdanger		2006-09-11 05:46:27 PM

Kyrgyz pylyce yffycyl fynd gyrl, byt lyse yll vywls.

CorDarei		2006-09-11 06:22:37 PM

headline shoulda read that she had been looking for vowels... and that's why she was missing so long.

leprechaun92		2006-09-11 06:22:44 PM

someones been smokin that camel dung again...

ArmyCop		2006-09-11 06:23:02 PM

timmy_the_tooth: because these things are all illegal along with a litany of other things like tattoos and going to certain strip clubs.

so we didn't do them. no siree

Well, OK then. I'll just go back to drinking beer and fraternizing.... ah, drinking coffee and doing paperwork.

Yeah, that's it.

/nothing to see here
//move along

thatswhatuthink		2006-09-11 06:25:34 PM

i dont know if im more confused by this story
or the last thing timmy the tooth said

FarkinHostile		2006-09-11 06:26:57 PM

One time while I was stationed at Ford Island, Hawaii, I went out on a drunken bender. I woke up on the wrong ship, sleeping in someones rack.

I somehow got back to base in a complete blackout. How I got on the ship I have no idea to this day.

bung ho		2006-09-11 06:26:57 PM

I think we're all missing the point here. The real question is: is she hot?

ScottMpls		2006-09-11 06:28:55 PM

Well, it's obvious she was abducted by aliens. Did anybody check for an anal probe?

GregoriousChant		2006-09-11 06:29:31 PM

Her eventual fate?

www.iflipflop.com

gorgor		2006-09-11 06:29:54 PM

I WAS KIDNAPPED!!!

frank2		2006-09-11 06:30:40 PM

Too many z's and g's in that story.

plutonium238		2006-09-11 06:31:36 PM

Even the war on terror and impending international threats gotta take a back seat to an all-night liver thrashing every now and then.

control		2006-09-11 06:32:07 PM

"Metzger was married to Air Force Capt. Joshua Mayo on April 8 and she was deployed 10 days later. The couple had been set to leave Sept. 24 for a delayed honeymoon, her father said."

I knew it was God-I-need-to-get-superfarked-before-I'm-really-married
jitters.

jennyz		2006-09-11 06:33:31 PM

Been there, done that, had to throw away the puked-on shoes.

Had to walk all the way back to the barracks, missing the last bus. Multiple times.

/farking S. Korean curfew
//Military? Alchohol? Unheard of!

ArmyCop		2006-09-11 06:34:21 PM

FarkinHostile: One time while I was stationed at...

Remind me to tell you the stories about eastern Europe sometime.

/Farkin' squids ;)

RoscoePColtrane		2006-09-11 06:35:03 PM

Hp sh's k! That mst hv bn scr fr hr!

chachi88		2006-09-11 06:35:21 PM

That's a negative bung ho. Return to base.

FarkinHostile		2006-09-11 06:36:15 PM

Remind me to tell you the stories about eastern Europe sometime.

If you'd ever reply to your emails. I have quite a few from all over Asia, a couple of videos, too. :)

radiofreewill		2006-09-11 06:41:56 PM

Man, she should really lay off the Absinthe.

skinink		2006-09-11 06:43:05 PM

I bet all the money in my sock that she dissapeared because some hunky army soldier offered to give her, "The Aunt Jemima Treatment".

www.poster.net

Transhumanist		2006-09-11 06:43:14 PM

Hey, Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder, radiofreewill.

Alex Chilton		2006-09-11 06:45:47 PM

Sound like a case of crazy biatch syndrome.

ArmyCop		2006-09-11 06:46:31 PM

skinink: I bet all the money in my sock that she dissapeared because some hunky army soldier offered to give her, "The Aunt Jemima Treatment".

Let's see... helmet, check.
armor vest, check.
9mm pistol, check.
spatula, check.

/what?

blink_183		2006-09-11 06:46:41 PM

Remember that US service-woman who went missing in Kyrgyzstan and was later "found" safe? Turns out she was just wasted and couldn't find her way back to the base

no. no i don't

dj_bigbird		2006-09-11 06:47:52 PM

I used to be in the military.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers believe anything they hear.

von fapowitz		2006-09-11 06:48:21 PM

No, I don't remember her.

lazymojo		2006-09-11 06:49:07 PM

"obvious" tag should have been used instead of "follow up"

Pav		2006-09-11 06:51:14 PM

I knew this broads story smacked of pure Bull Shiat.

brushwoodthicketfarmer		2006-09-11 06:52:25 PM

Oh man... I have no idea what's going on...

imagecache2.allposters.com

Funkmaster Frank		2006-09-11 06:55:16 PM

Where exactly did the "I work for ... so I am getting kick out of these replies" come about? Directed primarly at dj_bigbird, but anyone who knows can answer.

/Honestly curious
//Broad's story sounds fishy
///loves slashies

Mi-5		2006-09-11 06:58:23 PM

Funkmaster Frank: Where exactly did the "I work for ... so I am getting kick out of these replies" come about? Directed primarly at dj_bigbird, but anyone who knows can answer

You, my friend, have been introduced to one of the longest running Fark cliches of all time.

/Still makes me laugh
//It's been about a year for this cliche, right?

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