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(AP)   Oregonian man steals women's underpants. Facing up to 11 years in prison as this is his 4th conviction for this crime. Profit   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 109
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4408 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2006 at 3:46 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-08-31 12:56:58 PM
You know, if you hit the discount rack at your local department store, you can usually get them for much cheaper than a prison term.

Not that I'd know.
 
2006-08-31 01:04:23 PM
where does the profit come in?
 
2006-08-31 01:07:00 PM
Stupid.

The three-strikes-you're-out school of law enforcement sucks ass.
 
2006-08-31 01:12:59 PM
whidbey: The three-strikes-you're-out school of law enforcement sucks ass.

But getting busted for stealing underwear three times when there is a Three Strikes law in effect is even more asinine than the law itself.
 
2006-08-31 01:28:01 PM
You don't put someone in jail for 11 years because they stole panties.

What a completely ridiculous mockery of the system this example is...waste of time, resources, monies...
 
2006-08-31 01:54:25 PM
If he tried fording the river, instead of waiting 3 days for the Ferry, he would have escaped!
 
2006-08-31 03:47:54 PM
Those crazy Americanized Koreans and their underware stealing ways....
 
2006-08-31 03:48:47 PM
I feel bad for the guy...He was in jail FOR EVER, due to the fact that he was accused of kidnapping/killing some chik. After they decide that he did'nt do it, they let him go, and now he has to spend 11 years in prison? Seems like maybe the state sort of owes him....
 
2006-08-31 03:49:09 PM
Truly this is the perfect crime! Pure genius!

Except, of course, that eleven years in prison is not the kind of profit we are looking for. Doh!

He also photographed himself wearing some of the underwear.

Dude, I was on your side until I read this. You need help.
 
2006-08-31 03:49:31 PM
This is one of those "I am kind of ashamed this got greenlit" submissions. I feel as if I should apologize.
 
2006-08-31 03:49:48 PM
Phase 1: Steal Underpants
Phase 2: Get arrested and sell your story.
Phase 3: Profit!
 
2006-08-31 03:50:18 PM
Worst.
Headline.
Ever.

1. An Oregonian is a person from Oregon, and "Oregonian man" is redundant. Use "An Oregon man..." instead, or, "A man from Oregon..."

2. If you're going to use the cliche, use it right.

/GET OFF THE LAWN!
 
2006-08-31 03:50:26 PM
..should have just bought some.
 
2006-08-31 03:51:24 PM
my girlfriend knows that i love her used panties, and i was going to send this article to her...until i saw the last bit about the steps leading to murder...what a buzzkill..
 
2006-08-31 03:51:34 PM
Being a girl i think it's pretty messed up that he keeps stealing panties. And he has to break and enter to get them. Maybe not 11 years in prison is necessary but what the fark is his problem. He needs some sort of help, i don't know what. but if i walked home and caught a man in my panty drawer he'd be spending time in the hospital instead of jail.

/would have to be with a baseball bat
//can't punch
 
2006-08-31 03:52:45 PM
Ok, now i RTFA and i DO think he should go to jail. Crazy fark.
 
2006-08-31 03:53:55 PM
That'll learn 'em
 
2006-08-31 03:53:56 PM
Skail
You know, if you hit the discount rack at your local department store, you can usually get them for much cheaper than a prison term.

Those aren't used.
 
2006-08-31 03:54:44 PM
exactly, this guy needs treatment, not jail. Anyways if i were him and got out in 11 years i'd be pretty upset.
 
2006-08-31 03:54:49 PM
ill.literate
1. An Oregonian is a person from Oregon, and "Oregonian man" is redundant.


As in: "The Oregonian man typed his PIN number into the ATM machine"?
 
2006-08-31 03:55:12 PM
Corvallas eh? I need to visit that place.

/outside of Medford here...
//I got my panties LEGALLY..
///1 whole smoke and half of my last one nabbed me 2 pairs of undies the other night =)
 
2006-08-31 03:56:32 PM
your mother: but if i walked home and caught a man in my panty drawer

Sorry bout that. The hamper was empty.
 
2006-08-31 03:56:46 PM
This guy obviously did not understand phase 2.
 
2006-08-31 03:57:17 PM
Can't he buy a pair from K-Mart? They smell just like piss, too.
 
2006-08-31 03:57:32 PM
I knew I'd moved to the wrong town... Will spend weekend trying to grow a penis.
 
2006-08-31 04:00:38 PM
This is nothing. A man named Bob Boswell in Lexington County, South Carolina got LIFE IN PRISON for this. 21 counts of first-degree burglary. He stole panties, porn, and a wedding dress, I think. The police found journals of how he'd cased the houses, and plans for future burglaries. He had a twenty year old assault conviction, so he got the max.
 
2006-08-31 04:01:22 PM
"....Joo and Dong Kim were at Wednesday's hearing, where their son quietly apologized. Joo said her son is mentally ill and having a difficult time in prison..."

I wonder if boys fathered by people named "Dong Kim" have a higher probability of mental illness than others.
 
2006-08-31 04:02:23 PM
Phase 2: ????

replaced with

Phase 2: PMITA!?!#ow!G-dd--nit$*&@#owwww!owwWWWWW!
 
2006-08-31 04:03:06 PM
Seems like one of these panty snatcher dudes pops up every so often. If all of them have an elaborate plan of torture/murder on their home computer, then they are much more dangerous than I would have thought. For some reason, I had always pictured these guys as the dorks who never got any in high school, but harmless for the most part. That image is now shattered thanks to a certain Oregonian.
 
2006-08-31 04:04:35 PM
Amateur.

http://www.crisscross.com/jp/news/382894

Japan, where being a pervert isnt just a mental condition...its a god damn form of art!
 
2006-08-31 04:04:53 PM
This guy again?

I say we take a tenth of the money that we would spend incarcerating this guy and use it to buy him a "panty palace". Big room, wallpapered with panties, giant mountains of panties in place of furniture, panties hanging from the panty ceiling, and so forth. His fetish is satisfied, and it only costs us taxpayers a tenth as much.
 
2006-08-31 04:05:02 PM
"1. An Oregonian is a person from Oregon, and "Oregonian man" is redundant. Use "An Oregon man..." instead, or, "A man from Oregon...""

I am not sure that "Redundant" is the right word to use for someone saying an Oregonian man, unless of course you assume anything called Oregonian is Male? Would Oregonian Woman be redundant too? It doesn't read very nicely but "redundant"? I don't think so.

I went to high school with this guy. He was pretty quiet and gnomelike, but at least I understand now why he always went into the wrong locker room. He was practicing.
 
2006-08-31 04:06:57 PM
Would he get a lighter sentence for stealing huge granny panties?

/What?
//rofl
 
2006-08-31 04:07:20 PM
He knew he had strikes against him, he knew what the penalties were if caught, and yet he continued to do it.

Sometimes it's a crime to be stupid. I feel no sympathy. He brought it on himself.

Don't want to go to jail? Don't break the law. It's that simple, folks.
 
2006-08-31 04:08:36 PM
Hey, Smitty. If your GF is wearing underpants, You need to check for other contraband.
 
2006-08-31 04:08:53 PM
your mother: i don't know what. but if i walked home and caught a man in my panty drawer he'd be spending time in the hospital instead of jail.

So, you're more into the 'Nurse fantasy' thing?
 
2006-08-31 04:10:28 PM
There is a lesson to be learned here. Don't, under any circumstances, EVER store your violent porn images and torture-to-murder prose on your computer. Save it to a USB drive or something else that can be easily hidden.

/Correct or not, I was ok with the whole "Oregonian man" thing.
//Is this slashy redundant?
 
2006-08-31 04:10:30 PM
Kinetocracy: This guy again?

If they moved him to Japan, couldn't he just buy them legally from vending machines?
 
2006-08-31 04:11:42 PM
your mother: Being a girl i think it's pretty messed up that he keeps stealing panties. And he has to break and enter to get them. Maybe not 11 years in prison is necessary but what the fark is his problem. He needs some sort of help, i don't know what. but if i walked home and caught a man in my panty drawer he'd be spending time in the hospital instead of jail.

/would have to be with a baseball bat
//can't punch


I'm sure he wouldn't be going through your panty drawer, because those are clean. But hey, the bat thing would be cool. And a wet towel, yeah beat me with a wet towel.
 
2006-08-31 04:14:26 PM
maybe he has a "syndrome" oh...wait...only chicks get to have "syndromes"

(except for downs - anyone can get downs)
 
2006-08-31 04:15:20 PM
Anybody watch 30 Days last night? It's pretty pathetic what our prison system has become.

This guy does not deserve 11 years. I don't care how many pair of panties he stole. He needs treatment, and it's obvious since incarcerating him previously did nothing to deter him.

/I blame mouthbreathers that vote in the politicians that pander for the fear vote.
 
2006-08-31 04:20:40 PM
We've all been there.
 
2006-08-31 04:20:40 PM
its not so much that he re-offended 4 times, to me, its that he got caught 4 times thats messed up. learn from your mistakes?

/dumbass
//panties are just giftwrap, the real present is inside.
 
2006-08-31 04:21:34 PM
Kinetocracy

"This guy again?

I say we take a tenth of the money that we would spend incarcerating this guy and use it to buy him a "panty palace". Big room, wallpapered with panties, giant mountains of panties in place of furniture, panties hanging from the panty ceiling, and so forth. His fetish is satisfied, and it only costs us taxpayers a tenth as much."

That's thinking outside of the box.
I like it.
 
2006-08-31 04:21:52 PM
I think it needs to be clarified that he had "NO STRIKES" against him before his original arrest to my knowledge. He was arrested in one of the counties, then the charges came in from multiple other counties. I don't believe he ever did time for the crime then got out and did said crime again. Though I could be wrong, but I don't remember that in the umteen hundred media stories on the topic here locally. His bail before his trials was set at like 1 billion dollars though due to the police mistakenly making him a suspect in a kidnapping murder. 1 Billion was not the actual number but it was some ridiculously high bail for the crimes he had been charged with. I agree that he needs treatment but he should have to do his time as well. Plus him taking up a bed will help to keep a car thief or drug pusher out of jail. Phew...
 
2006-08-31 04:22:12 PM
Have you ever noticed that women never get caught stealing men's underwear? I guess women are just better criminals.
 
2006-08-31 04:24:14 PM
Oregonian man is bad form. Oregonian has two definitions, either denoting a person from Oregon, or the state's primary newspaper. So either you're being rather redundant, or somehow implying that Kim belongs to the paper.

/Washingtonian woman
 
2006-08-31 04:24:17 PM
submitter: Oregonian man steals women's underpants. Facing up to 11 years in prison as this is his 4th conviction for this crime. Profit



That's great Joker, but why write "Oregonian man"? Are there non-Oregonian men living in Oregon? Let's say "Oregonian", or "Oregon man". And where's the weenie? The troops love to hear about dead gooks.

I tell you what. I want you to head on up to Fu-Bai, and get some pictures of recent action up that way, and take Rafter Man with you.
 
2006-08-31 04:24:50 PM
No, its just noone would ever want men's used underwear
 
2006-08-31 04:26:23 PM
SoonerGrad - 'where does the profit come in?'

From Behind :)

/Couldn't Help It
 
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