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(WRCB TV)   500-pound woman's joy at getting new large door for her home dampened by arrests of her husband and daughter for having sex in front of her   ( ) divider line 403
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52036 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Aug 2006 at 7:57 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2006-08-30 02:40:41 PM  

I'd be better if a)some 'welcome rally' thingy in anticipation of Bush's visit to Salt Lake wasn't being held this afternoon, two blocks from my house, and b)that didn't look like a wedding ring on your left hand in the first picture.

/any protesters can park in my driveway, and maybe even come in for a drink
//back door is open, pet Clara on the way in
///i'll iron your shirts, if you want
2006-08-30 02:42:28 PM  
Mekongcola just made me use a year's supply of eye bleach
2006-08-30 02:50:55 PM  
I'm a fat bastard but I've been fatter. At my peak, I push 250 pounds. Over the years, I've found two ways to lose weight. Eat less. Exercise. One or the other. Doesn't have to be both unless I want to lose a lot of weight fast. Last fall, I was packing on the weight again but didn't have time to exercise. So I only ate when I was hungry and made an effort to pick healthy foods when I did eat. 30 pounds in 4 months.

But even when I'm a total sloth eating bacon cheeseburgers for lunch and entire pizzas for dinner, I top out in the mid 240s. That's putting away well over 3000 calories a day with no exercise. To double that weight would take a serious, continued effort of gorging. I can't imagine how much I'd have to eat and how long I'd have to sustain that consumption to get up to 500 pounds. It boggles the mind.

The issue here isn't weight. It's mental illness. I've seen it. I have a relative who has "willed" herself to be physically disabled. Watched it happen over a period of years. In her 50s and "needs" a Rascal because getting all the way across the street with a walker wears her out. Of course, she can make it to her friend's car with no help at all and that trek is much farther than crossing the street. It's all about "I want someone to take care of me."
2006-08-30 03:01:51 PM  
frickinsweet: I'd be better if a)some 'welcome rally' thingy in anticipation of Bush's visit to Salt Lake wasn't being held this afternoon, two blocks from my house, and b)that didn't look like a wedding ring on your left hand in the first picture.

a) That sounds like hell on earth.

b) Yup, it is. For a little while longer, anyway.
2006-08-30 03:10:37 PM  
"...I got my CTM and am working on my ATM just to stay tuned up, improve, and hang out with some likeable people..."

For a minute there, I thought you were talking about something ENTIRELY different...
2006-08-30 03:13:13 PM  
first, no matter how close a friend I am, I will NEVER lift your fat rolls to wash between them for you!!

Secondly, health food is higher priced. Since I changed my lifestyle (went from a size 26 to a size 8), my monthly food bill went up about $100. BUT I tell myself that the cost is relative, because the cost of diabetic medication, heart pills, and doctors visits that would have had to happen when I got older would have cost me WAYYYYYY MORE!!!

//as a dear friend, I would give her 1 banana and a fig newton a day!
///where is jerry springer, maury povich, and richard simmons to help this poor wo- hoooomanati!???
2006-08-30 03:13:54 PM  

a) I really can't imagine much, if anything, that would be worse. Not at this moment, anyway. Downtown is a mess today. I couldn't find a parking spot anywhere near the place that makes my favorite turkey sammich with dill pickles, so I settled for a Lean Cuisine ravioli instead.

b) Damn. Any chance she'll shape up and iron the shirts?
2006-08-30 03:18:11 PM  
frickinsweet: b) Damn. Any chance she'll shape up and iron the shirts?

Shirts aren't the issue, and no chance.
2006-08-30 03:18:48 PM  
According to the new rules set forth, Pluto is out and Peggy is in.
2006-08-30 03:22:28 PM  

I learned the hard way what happens when you don't take care of your man. Never, ever again.
2006-08-30 03:28:19 PM  
"I just want him to come back and help me get out of this bed and do what he promised!"

Hey, I have an idea, as preposterous as it sounds, STOP EATING FARKING SAMMICHES!

/She doesn't need a sammich.
//Only some of the Foobies chick do.
///Just lost 40 pounds by being aware of my diet.
2006-08-30 03:28:57 PM  
frickinsweet, Netsloth
Alright, you two. Cut it out. This isn't e-Harmony. We're trying to have a humurous thread about fat people with brief moments of admiration for the Farkers and TFers that "Beat the Virus". We don't need you two all lovin' up our fatty thread. So straighten up, and no more silliness!
2006-08-30 03:34:32 PM  
mooseyfate: So straighten up, and no more silliness!

What if he had a pointed stick?
2006-08-30 03:50:51 PM  
My sister recently had that gastral bypass surgery or whatever where they put the rubber band around your stomach. She was 380ish pounds and is now down 160 pounds and still falling. She looks great and it's still coming off.

Horray for all the people who realize they have a problem, and they do something about it. Good on ya!
2006-08-30 04:11:08 PM  
Why do I get the feeling that this man's marriage was just a "pet the cow to get the calf" scheme.
2006-08-30 04:11:37 PM  
Jerry.. Jerry... Jerry...
2006-08-30 04:12:50 PM  
Now, if this woman was convered in her own shiat and piss, and the father and step-daughter were having sex in front of her, what does that say about what gets them off? That's the part thats really bugging me..ewwwwww.
2006-08-30 04:17:19 PM  
Evil_ferret: My sister recently had that gastral bypass surgery or whatever where they put the rubber band around your stomach.

I think they call that lapband or some such. More easly reversable than the bypass.
2006-08-30 04:25:11 PM  
submitter: 500-pound woman's joy at getting new large door for her home dampened by arrests of her husband and daughter for having sex in front of her

2006-08-30 04:39:12 PM  
Late in the game, I know, but...
My wife is doing a fantastic job on her weight loss. She was at 230+ prior to giving birth to our twins. 207 after childbirth and hating herself. When I left to come here (working in Iraq and damn proud of it for those who don't know) she vowed to lose weight. Since January starting at 207, she is now down to 160 and still losing weight. Part of this was her own unhappiness and wanting to change for her. The other part was never wanting to set a bad examle for, or embarass our children. I get to see her in Paris in 2 weeks, I cannot wait! Have not seen her in 3 months.
2006-08-30 04:43:36 PM  
Netsloth-What if he had a pointed stick?

Pointed stick? OOOooooh. We wanna learn 'ow to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all 'igh and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Oh, oh, oh. Well let me tell you something my lad! When you're walking home tonight and some great 'omicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of Logan berries, don't come crying to me! Right, and now, the passion fruit!
2006-08-30 04:43:53 PM  
Shut up about your dull success stories, tubbies. This is a fattie bashing thread, not a motivational seminar!
2006-08-30 04:50:56 PM  
The thing that scares me about gastric bypass is how people who have had them sincerely believe that it was the surgery that "cured" their obesity and not the fact that they are eating less.

They are completely and totally convinced that they personally would not lose weight from caloric reduction at all. I tried explaining that when your stomach is so tiny it cannot accomodate a full meal, you are going to lose weight because you are taking less calories in... They just don't get it.

I only know one person who got the surgery who got it. That person admitted a total lack of control about eating. Apparently, one will vomit when overeating after the surgery. This person hated the vomiting. Lots of others just work around it.

As for me, I've always been vigilant, so I'm still wearing clothing I purchased in the 80s.

netsloth, I used to work with John Walker, who wrote the Hacker's Diet. It worked very well for him. I am glad its working for you.
2006-08-30 04:51:31 PM  
Thank you Furious_Chicken! after all the mediocre humor in this thread, I finally let out an audible chuckle at your Pluto joke. I guess it takes something really, really horrible to make me laugh enough to spit a drink on my keyboard. The Dead Clown thread did it for me the other day, go figure.

And by the way, its "Flabalanche" not "Fat-valanche" "Bruce Valanche" or whatever you said, Twitch.
2006-08-30 05:12:15 PM  
quite late in the game, but...

javansdaddy and netsloth: propers!

netsloth: yeah, I'll admit it, you are a cutie (I'm taken, so I'm just complimenting :P)

My friend walked into a public restroom and saw this really fat guy laying on the floor in the stall. Thinking maybe the guy was having a heart attack, he called out and asked him if he was OK. Guy calls back, "Yeah, I'm OK. Because of my size, this is the only way I can wipe myself." My friend just turned around and walked out. Seriously, you didn't just wake up that fat one day...
2006-08-30 05:13:06 PM  
What's the point of marrying a mother if you can't sex the offspring?

And, does anyone feel sorry at all for this lady? I know I don't. I feel bad for Shamu who is being used as a comparison to this lady. Shamu deserves better.

I've lost 35 pounds in the last year, but that's what happens when you move from Michigan to Oregon.

This thread is great: incest and humiliated fat people.
2006-08-30 05:15:40 PM  

I think I will go on your diet....what diet is that? Well, you just made me heave my lunch back into my mouth, and it doesn't taste quite so good.

so, tomorrow? same time? New gross story??

//if you can't wipe, go live in the wild
2006-08-30 05:16:00 PM  
Why are they still feeding her? That is why we have natural selection. Guess who would be rolling over in thier grave right now? Honestly though, I eat about 5,000 calories a day in unhealthy food with only about 2 hours of exercise a week playing basketball, and I am 6'1" 190lbs, so her problem has to have at least something to do with her glands or genetics. Inherently everyone processs calories at a different rate, and you must be smart enough to know that if you are one of the unlucky people born with a glandular disorder or a slow metabolism, you may not eat the way others with faster metabolisms do. That is a sad part of life, but there is no stopping it. If one day I starting packing on the pounds again(I was once 235 when I ate a SERIOUSLY bad diet that would probably make all of you ill) I would start cutting a few burgers here and there and exercise more. End of story. How you let yourself get to 800lbs is far beyond my comprehension. I would probably have to eat 20,000 calories a day for years, which is probably whay she eats now. Sickening.

2006-08-30 05:20:41 PM  

Sweet Christ. That is all.
2006-08-30 05:23:55 PM  

I can luv it up if I want to.

/can't I?
//CAN'T I??!!
2006-08-30 05:28:36 PM  
I fail to see how not feeding a 500 lb woman is neglect. Give her all the water she wants, keep her clean, when she gets down to a weight where she can walk to the kitchen herself then she can eat.
2006-08-30 05:37:40 PM  
FOOD IS NOT LOVE and neither is farking your step daughter.
2006-08-30 05:45:12 PM  
javansdaddy: Morning - Egg McMuffin Super-sized value meal with a Dr. Pepper & a Sausage biscuit

Lunch - Whopper King-sized meal (heavy pickle & ketchup), onion rings, Dr. Pepper & a cheeseburger

Dinner - 1lb taco meat, 4-5 taco shells, all the taco veggies, 1 cup sour cream, 1 cup salsa, 2 liter Dr. Pepper.

The trend here is obvious.

(btw, congrats for losing the weight)
2006-08-30 05:55:36 PM  
Javansdaddy & Netsloth:

Way to go.

that is all
2006-08-30 06:33:19 PM  
From the article (referring to the incest):

I really don't know what to say.

I was going to suggest "Give me a divorce" but it's more likely to be "Give me an ice-cream flavoured cow"
2006-08-30 06:59:29 PM  
Spank My ButtMonkey:

That's probably my grossest story. And it didn't even happen to me! (although, I'm not complaining about that) I don't think I have any other puke inducing stories.

2006-08-30 07:24:58 PM  
This whole thread is wrong. It's just wrong wrong wrong.
2006-08-30 08:18:12 PM  
whiskey tango foxtrot. WHISKEY TANGO F-ING FOXTROT.
2006-08-30 08:22:37 PM  
cruci fiction
Maybe he was just farking one of the rolls and the daughter happened to be trapped inside.

I laughed so hard I think an organ just exploded.
2006-08-30 08:39:26 PM  
Charles helped work on the door and everything
Does that top lock look up-side down to anyone else?
2006-08-30 08:41:34 PM  
Watching someone with a low IQ flounder through life must be very entertaining for Jehovah, or he wouldn't have made so many of them.
2006-08-30 08:43:23 PM
2006-08-30 08:55:13 PM  
You owe me one keyboard and one 21" monitor.
/and some shampoo for the cat I spit out all of my Mountain Dew on
2006-08-30 09:13:16 PM  
Somebody ought to shoot that monstrosity in the head and feed it to the homeless.

Gluttonous. Irresponsible. Useless. Pig.
2006-08-30 09:41:23 PM  
I love the part where she's going on and on about her new life, and going places.
And I'm like, where the fark are you gunna go?
Maybe to the monster truck rally cause they have those large loading doors in the back and you can get in...
2006-08-30 09:41:31 PM  
If I had an image host, I'd photoshop her disgusting head over the north pole of friggin' Jupiter!

"Mokoda pa-ghupahh, Solo-o-o-o! Aw-aw-aw-awwww!"
2006-08-30 11:40:12 PM  
I hope they beat the incest charge, leave her with a bushel of soybeans to get by on for awhile, and get away from her. Just reading her statements in the story sucked a little life out of me.
2006-08-31 12:35:23 AM  
when did being a fatass become a disability anyway?

Oh boo hoo, they need to stop feeding her. Im sure plenty of people went into say, world war 2, quite husky and were practically skeletons during points.

Her calorie intake could be pretty farking high and shed lose weight with all that body mass.

This is why everyone should have a scale and use it every day, if you see a upward trend stop it after you see 5 lbs, not 50
2006-08-31 03:06:06 AM  
Seriously, 300 pounds of fat represents over a MILLION calories of food! People this fat eat a LOT over a LONG period of time and I have zero sympathy for them.
2006-08-31 09:39:16 AM  
You don't get to 500+ lbs from glands. Glands cannot produce 500lbs worth of material from thin air. Get off your asses and exercise.
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