Well done, Submissive, well done.

Surely this article isnt serious?

bikkurikun: Surely this article isnt serious?

It is. And don't call submitter Shirley.

/doesn't work as well in text.

Airplane trifecta in play?

Golf clap for the submitter.

/flying overseas in about 6 hours
//story not so funny

Yes, play the trifecta! Gotta keep the morons happy! Approve crap stories just to make it three! Go fark!

What a waste of fuel and time. And toast.

terrorist food alert?

Rusty Shackleford: Looks like I chose the wrong day to quit expelling liquid through my nose.

BWAAAAHHHAAAAAHAAAAAAAA!!

They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say let'em eat burnt toast.

Well, it did say smoke was POURING from the oven, and since the air in a plane is pressurized, I see the worry.

thats when I began to have a drinking problem...

Sheesh, just open a window.

I just want to tell you both-- good luck, we're all counting on you.

Municipal bonds Ted, I'm talking double A rating. . . the best investment in America.

The red zone has ALWAYS been for immediate loading and unloading...

Don't tell me which zone is for stopping and which zone is for loading.

I know what this is...you want me to have an abortion!

Its really the only sensible thing to do. If its done properly, therapeutically, there's no danger involved.

HAHAHA!!

/George Zip....win one for the Zipper!

I'll never get over Macho Grande!

There is only one riveerrrrrr, there is only one streaaaaam, and it flows through yooooou, and it flows through meeeee....

/nuns!

And he survived?

Joey...do you like movies about gladiators?

We got to get this motherfarkin' smoke off this motherfarkin' plane.

Joey, did ya ever hang around a gymnasium?

Joey . . . have you ever been in a, a Turkish prison?

Joey....ever seen a grown man naked?

Rumack : Captain, how soon can you land?
Oever : I can't tell.
Rumack : You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
Oever : NO, I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack : Well, can't you take a guess?
Oever : Well, not for another 2 hours.
Rumack : You can't take a guess for another 2 hours?

boy with coffee: Cream?

girl: No, thank you. I take it black, like my men.

/ not impressed

Reporter: What kind of plane is it?
Johnny: Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with a red stripes, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol.

Ha! Unfortunately, I'm out! Nice quotes, AndrewGK! :-)

/Boy's Life - Nun's Life
//nun on a surfboard!!

I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it, Kramer?

What can you make of this, Johnny?

...And loki see loki do is getting laaaarrrrrgerrr!

Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9'er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9'er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9'er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?

I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.

Doctor, I smell burnt toast!

/too obscure?
//fellow Canadians should get the reference

"The tower? THE TOWER? RAPUNZEL! RAPUNZEL!"