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(Reuters)   Elton John vows to make hip-hop record next. EVERYBODY PANIC   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
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3306 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Aug 2006 at 1:32 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

78 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2006-08-26 01:32:32 AM  
He thinks he's hardcore ever since he played piano for Eminem.
2006-08-26 01:38:26 AM  
we should enable voting on his new rap name...
Masta John in the house?
2006-08-26 01:38:43 AM  
I just can't wait to not add this to my nonexistant Elton John collection.
2006-08-26 01:39:05 AM  
Cuz loosin' everthang is like the sun lickin' my ass 'til it bleeds.
2006-08-26 01:40:10 AM  
In related news, there's a run on earplugs at drug stores across the world.
2006-08-26 01:41:41 AM  
Finally, a rap artist for the gay thug gangbanger.
2006-08-26 01:43:02 AM  
I'm sure riot police everywhere will be grateful. There's no better way to clear out a room.
2006-08-26 01:43:46 AM  
And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Elton. and Hell followed with him.
2006-08-26 01:44:23 AM  
You KNOW The Shatner version will kick ass though...

2006-08-26 01:46:04 AM  
He expressed an interest to work with a hiphop artist. I've listened to rap my entire life, from Jungle Brothers to J-Live, J-Zone to Little Brother. I remember when fark was about the headlines. They've be pre-empted by the larger news corperations anticipating what kinds of stupid headlines people will rush to create in order to drive traffic to their site.
2006-08-26 01:46:21 AM  
Don't let your son go down on me.....
2006-08-26 01:46:45 AM  
Won't have the same ring when the 'biatches and hos' are all other dudes.
2006-08-26 01:48:08 AM  
dear lord...........i dont care
2006-08-26 01:49:19 AM  
The thing that I find hardest to believe is that Reuters UK edition did not call him by his proper title of Sir Elton John, but in all honesty I can see the queen taking away his knight hood for stupid shiat like this
2006-08-26 01:51:27 AM  
Great, can't wait to see the video with him dressed ass a pimp and only scantily clad male dancers rubbing their ass up on him. What's his name going to be MC Reacharound?
2006-08-26 01:51:53 AM  
actually, this could be good.

/loves hip-hop
2006-08-26 01:53:44 AM  
EL_FABREZ: MC Reacharound

If not, that should so be the name used in the South Park episode.
2006-08-26 01:54:19 AM  
MC Elton Poop-Shute?
2006-08-26 01:56:09 AM  
Don't let your son go down on me.....

You win at teh interwebs!!!!!! Don't let the tubes clog up though.....
2006-08-26 01:59:50 AM  
Yeah, never mind that Elton was the first white guy to have a number one record on the American R & B charts (Bennie And The Jets), and the first white guy to ever appear on "Soul Train."

Oh, but that happened before many of you were born, so that doesn't count.
2006-08-26 02:00:39 AM  
i think i might throw up a whole bunch in my mouth.
2006-08-26 02:03:05 AM  
It'll be cute and huggable.
2006-08-26 02:05:26 AM
2006-08-26 02:07:45 AM
2006-08-26 02:11:06 AM
2006-08-26 02:16:33 AM  
Musicians make bad decisions, film at 11.
2006-08-26 02:17:57 AM  
Elton John is a great musician. He's done lots of R&B and he's not planning on doing the vocals. The Elton John hip-hop album will be the shiat. The only thing I wouldn't trust him to write are the lyrics...but he didn't write the lyrics to his other songs, only the music. If he sticks to that formula he can't lose.
2006-08-26 02:21:13 AM  
Omar from Baltimore approves.
2006-08-26 02:28:55 AM  
I'm wishing like hell for a duet with K-Fed.
2006-08-26 02:29:09 AM  
Could be worse. Could be Hillary Duff.

Oh wait...
2006-08-26 02:32:45 AM  
Could be worse. Coul dbe Hillary Duff.

Or Paris Hilton

Oh wait...
2006-08-26 02:39:48 AM  
2006-08-26 02:07:45 AM DavyBoySmith [TotalFark]

Is it just me, or does that picture (minus the MS-Paint stuff) make him look like a horrendously ugly butch lesbian?

2006-08-26 02:41:05 AM  
Correction to my previous entry..

Make that a horrendously ugly Sally Jesse Raphael butch lesbian clone.

/Things that make ya go...buhhh
2006-08-26 02:41:11 AM  
We should play the CD for twenty four hours straight for interrogation purposes. The prisoners/terrorists would talk after the first song.
2006-08-26 02:48:54 AM  
the little marmot with the earring and the makeup
the little marmot is amillionare
2006-08-26 02:50:46 AM  
Theres a joke here somewhere about the Brown Cowboy. Lil help?
2006-08-26 02:54:12 AM  
This sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit that could actually be somewhat funny.

/Submitted this with a mediocre headline, then thought of a better headline after I sent it in
//Something about Eminem "rubbing off" on him, wink wink ;)
2006-08-26 03:15:19 AM  
fark him.
2006-08-26 03:25:49 AM  
i guess that's why they call it the blues, with my homo shoes
can you feel the love tonight, when i roll the joint alright?
come on down and come in my sock, put it on my crocodile jock
with this beat you cannot sweat not you or bennie on the jet
trippen on acid honky cat, i dont want to go on with you like that.If I was a reindeer i would be prancer so try not to fu*k with this tiny dancer!

/other then that... got nothin
2006-08-26 03:26:27 AM  
maybe he'll change his name to Elton Jiggy. Then E-Jiggy. Then Jiggy. Personally, the J-Fed moniker suits him well.

also, as a person who hates rap and hip-hop and the entire culture with a vehemant rage, I must say the british rapper who goes by The Streets is very good. he sings about real stuff, not hoes and pimpin and money. he talks about self-respect and depression and stuff anybody can relate to. his rhymes are good. I have one of his cds, which I never listen to, but he's the one good apple who hasn't been spoiled.

I was going to submit this with the following headline:

Elton John vows to make a hip-hop album, unless all Muslim detainees are released from UK prisons. They meet his demands.
2006-08-26 04:06:15 AM  
rappers don't have any teeth. neither do brits.

e-jizzle may get platinum teeth.

2006-08-26 04:17:29 AM  
I am officially tired of the EVERYBODY PANIC! cliche. It has its place, but use it sparingly grasshoppa...

//Ashamed at being slightly intregued by the thought though
///Slash to your mother
2006-08-26 04:21:13 AM  
I mean, come on many words can he rhyme with felch?
Just a random statement....
2006-08-26 04:26:10 AM
I can't get behind that!
2006-08-26 04:38:29 AM  
"I dressed up like a duck
Back when I didn't give a fuk
Just showing my tail
To the thousands who'd wail
You bought my discs by the million
But don't think I was chillin'
I was snortin up lines
Getting farked from behind
It was blowin' my mind
Til I knew it was time...

So I married an Aussie
Kee Kee Dee was to bossy
Couldn't handle that biatch
Had to handle my itch
So I found another man
Who would ride my limey can
And discs started sucking
But that didn't end my fuking
I got carried away
Life was anything but gay

So now I'm back in the saddle
It hit me hard as a paddle
I thought I found The One
Sacrifice don't hurt none
Hooked up with my Homeboy, Bernie
Telling you 'bout my journey
Makin myself mo money
Whining more my bad ass to you, honey!"

2006-08-26 04:44:51 AM  
Is Elton a top or a bottom?

Anyone know?
2006-08-26 05:06:10 AM  
THAT WOULD BE awesome if gay ppl started doing hip hop.

Kids would drop rap in a heartbeat!

Then the rest of the world would realize how stupid hiphop is and start playing real music again with instruments and stuff.
2006-08-26 05:17:37 AM  
You know what I hate about hip hop POOR PEOPLE MADE IT. That's the worst, when people with no money invent something that becomes the most profound change in popular music ever. Yeah plus it doesn't really have anything to do with music... at least I heard that somewhere and stuff.
2006-08-26 05:21:41 AM  
trooper trav: actually, this could be good.

I agree.

1. Elton John is one of the greatest talents ever.

2. He always puts out great albums.

3. He has the greatest recources available to produce quality music no matter what the genre.
2006-08-26 05:33:26 AM  
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