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(MSNBC)   Man falls asleep in his driveway after a night of heavy drinking. Wife drives home from work. Hilarity ensues   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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29041 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Aug 2006 at 3:04 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

83 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-08-24 07:18:18 AM  
How about pictorial goodness of the mrs. Would we hit it?
2006-08-24 07:20:53 AM  
"Oh I didn't see him lying there."

Yeah right, more like:

"Honey, I hear a funny noise coming from the front of the car. Could you check it out?"
2006-08-24 07:22:24 AM  
Wait a minute...... #1 headline said "fell asleep IN his car", don't think that's what happened....#2 did he WAKE UP or was he run over??......#3 what hilarity ensued?

//Submitter needs practice
///If he WASN'T hit....who gives a Fark?
2006-08-24 07:43:54 AM  
Fell asleep IN his driveway? Which Mob family did he tick off?
2006-08-24 07:51:12 AM  
Just now I fell asleep waiting for more greenlights. Wish someone would run me over :(
2006-08-24 07:55:40 AM  
I read this in the local Rogers paper yesterday and didn't think much of it.

National exposure and the typically aimless, standoffish Fark comments thread are the spice that was missing.
2006-08-24 08:03:39 AM  
I feel soory for anyone who has to share the road with that woman.
2006-08-24 08:03:57 AM  
What of the fact that MOST driveways have definitive physical limits (where the sidewalk ends) therefore, being within the constraints of those limits would mean you were in fact "in" the driveway?

/logick FTW
2006-08-24 08:10:20 AM  
MorningBreath: the brother of a friend of mine thought it would be hilarious to be found lying in the road when a friend came over, like he'd been hit by a car. So, when it came close to the time his friend was going to arrive, he ran out into the street and lay down. Along comes the friend, who doesn't see him, and runs over him.

I'll take alcohol related accident for 400 Alex
2006-08-24 08:21:39 AM  
"LOL. I can't believe there are people here who actually need to debate the difference between "in" and "on" -- words that most people learn before they are even out of diapers."

It depends on what the meaning of "is" is.

Ya know, we need a new "Godwined" that kicks in when anyone argues either "But Clinton" or "I blame Bush".
Clushed? Buntoned?
2006-08-24 08:33:15 AM  
Clintowned and Bush-Whacked?
2006-08-24 08:39:12 AM  

LOL. I can't believe there are people here who actually need to debate the difference between "in" and "on" -- words that most people learn before they are even out of diapers.

...Oh, wait, this is FARK. I guess I /can/ believe it.>

well, lets see. So to you the difference of me being in your mom, or on your mom ain't no big whoop? sweeet. Tell her I'll be over at 4.
2006-08-24 08:42:50 AM  
Here I thought she found him passed out in the car and beat the crap out of him.

If this lady doesn't see a bump the size of a human lying in the driveway, I feel sorry for any kids they may have. Kids are always playing in the driveway.
2006-08-24 08:44:29 AM  
So is a driveway more like a livingroom, or is it more like a lawn? I think a driveway is more of a space than an object, and so you'd fall asleep in it rather than on it, but this is a highly ambiguous situation. Someone alert whoever's in charge of the English language.

At your service.

You can go into a living room because it has walls and a door, and when you say "in a living room", it is short for "inside". A driveway is a designated patch of land which you can only ever be "on".

No no no, you've got it all wrong. You can fall asleep ON your lawn. It's a thing. You fall asleep IN your yard. It's a predefined space. A driveway is BOTH. A defined space for you can fall asleep IN that space...and it's a concrete/ashphalt slab, which can fall asleep ON.
2006-08-24 08:44:50 AM
2006-08-24 08:45:27 AM  
2006-08-24 08:47:27 AM  
it depends on what your definition of "IS" is...

/another arkansas dude
2006-08-24 08:47:54 AM  
Am I the only one whos eye caught this line and had to read it a couple times over?
2006-08-24 08:51:39 AM  
Cue the banjo!
2006-08-24 08:56:10 AM  
The last time I drank scotch I woke up face down in the driveway. Good times.
2006-08-24 09:05:30 AM  
The last time I drank scotch I woke up face down in the driveway. Good times.

The last time I drank scotch I woke up face down in your mom.
2006-08-24 09:08:23 AM  
The last time I drank scotch I woke up face down in your mom.

And that is a DAMN good reason to quit drinkin'.
2006-08-24 09:10:28 AM  

good stuff. haha
2006-08-24 09:14:35 AM  

"You've been drining again, haven't you?"

"No, I'm just exhausted from staying up all night, drinking."

2006-08-24 09:17:52 AM  
Drinking, dammit. Drinking!
2006-08-24 09:34:32 AM  
while "on the driveway" indeed makes some sense in terms of spatiality, "in the driveway" is also acceptable, since we live in a 3-d world. also, it is a more common phrase.

\who pulls their car "off the driveway"?
2006-08-24 09:49:26 AM  
Still not as bad as being eaten by a woodchipper.
2006-08-24 09:57:28 AM  
Yes but would you come home and pass out IN the woodchipper? Or ON the woodchipper?
2006-08-24 10:39:27 AM  
jarrett: Am I the only person who interprets "man falls asleep in his driveway" to mean "man falls asleep in a parked car in his driveway"? As such I was unclear about the hilarity that was about to ensue.

Me too. I've even done that back in my more stupid days.

/I left the lights on and killed my battery. What was worse was peeling my contacts off my eyes.
2006-08-24 10:56:53 AM  
I had friend do this in my driveway (it was dirt, thank dog) and another friend ran him over when leaving. From then on, Doug was known as "speedbump."
2006-08-24 12:52:47 PM  
"Didn't see him" my ASS.

Women see everything.
2006-08-24 01:48:41 PM  
When I read that headline I immediately thought of Pulp Fiction. Like, the man falling asleep in his car that happens to have dead attractive and successful African-American storage in the backseat.

/the filter had better own me here.
2006-08-24 05:17:52 PM  
dukefluke Sorry, but the general population of English speakers disagrees with you. "In the driveway" is far more common than "on the driveway" (Google both phrases and see for yourself - which, btw, is what linguists actually do to find relative frequency of phrases). Not saying it's logical - but if you expect English to be logical, you're crazy.
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