Couldn't be any worse than falling asleep, drunk on the train tracks.

Step-up girl, face you're choice of partner. If he's worth it stand by, if not, "See ya".

At least he wasn't in the driveway with the babysitter.

Am I the only person who interprets "man falls asleep in his driveway" to mean "man falls asleep in a parked car in his driveway"? As such I was unclear about the hilarity that was about to ensue.

No jarrett you are not. The word "in" implys he was in his car. Man falls asleep ON his driveway. ON.

MorningBreath: /he is still in the hospital a year later, lying there.

Are you kidding? If you're not kidding, my god, how bright are your friends? Wow.

/Garp unavailable for comment.

MorningBreath
/he is still in the hospital a year later, lying there.

A good thump thump drag campfire story. I am definitely telling that one next time we're roasting marshmallows.

SNAKES ON BURNT TOAST!


/eep

Cracking sounds generally mean bad things for the sucker getting run over. And probably very good things for the wife.

Bolson said she did not initially see her husband in the driveway.

Well of course she says that now.

Jarett:

I was with you.

Morningbreath:

Are they trying to find a suitable match for the organs? I can't see any other use in expending hospital resources...

I liked the stories on the sidebar.

The original headline of: "What gives driveway that crunch? Hubby" was far better, sorry smitty.

Was he working on a jump to conclusions mat?

"he was treated for abrasions and contusions."
Either he didn't get run over and therefore this isn't news, or there's a black guy with wierd hair reading this story and making sinister plans.

Typical woman driver.

Well, I guess my algebra teacher was right, two negatives do make a positive.

+ =

Jarrett:
I thought that as well.

Jarrett:

Was more of a flashback than a thought :P

wish I had a nickle for every time this has happened to me..

BILL BRASKY!!!

He didn't die? Must be a slow news day.

ensign_noname: Well, I guess my algebra teacher was right, two negatives do make a positive.

Not exactly, only works with multiplication.

If you owe someone $1 and then you owe them another $1 (i.e. addition), it doesn't end up with them owing *you* money....

/ I don't care if it was patronising, I can't be arsed thinking up something better.

+ =
* =

fixed that for you... adding two negatives makes it even more negative, multiplication on the other hand...



/jk
//it is late...
///and I really don't remember why
//Trig and Geometry makes more sense....

damn Guy N. you beat me, but... I displayed HTML-fu ;-)

+1 good use of hilarity chliché. that is all, proceed.

Am I the first to read this article and think to myself why is this farking news?

And did she hit him or what?

And what was the loud cracking sound? His leg breaking? Him squeezing off a couple from his 22 in self defense at the oncoming car?

//Todays example of shiatty reporting of not news brought to you by MSNBC

Driving 101: Do not actually look on the road, just assume the way is clear.

Women drivers....

born dumb
stayed dumb

Submitter pwn3d by orignial headline??

sirgrim: The original headline of: "What gives driveway that crunch? Hubby" was far better, sorry smitty.

Agreed, I lol'ed at that. Also at "Napping Arkansas man wakes up, moans..."

lionfish: No jarrett you are not. The word "in" implys he was in his car. Man falls asleep ON his driveway. ON.

Grammar is failing us here. You wouldn't fall asleep on your livingroom, but you would fall asleep on your lawn.

So is a driveway more like a livingroom, or is it more like a lawn? I think a driveway is more of a space than an object, and so you'd fall asleep in it rather than on it, but this is a highly ambiguous situation. Someone alert whoever's in charge of the English language.

Aaarrrrrp!Aaaaaarrrrrp!

"Topless parade cleaves Auckland"

Heh-heh heh-heh...

"He didn't mean to hit me officer. He's a good man. Don't take him away. I fell asleep in the driveway and he run over my head with the truck."

Liam and Me - Grammar is failing us here. You wouldn't fall asleep on your livingroom, but you would fall asleep on your lawn.

So is a driveway more like a livingroom, or is it more like a lawn? I think a driveway is more of a space than an object, and so you'd fall asleep in it rather than on it, but this is a highly ambiguous situation. Someone alert whoever's in charge of the English language.

At your service.

You can go into a living room because it has walls and a door, and when you say "in a living room", it is short for "inside". A driveway is a designated patch of land which you can only ever be "on".

LOL. I can't believe there are people here who actually need to debate the difference between "in" and "on" -- words that most people learn before they are even out of diapers.

...Oh, wait, this is FARK. I guess I /can/ believe it.

jarrett

No, I was thinking the same thing.

"On," not "in."

The subtleties of the English language make it wonderful for poets.

I'll see you on hell, gradatim.

dukefluke:

You can go into a living room because it has walls and a door, and when you say "in a living room", it is short for "inside". A driveway is a designated patch of land which you can only ever be "on".

Convincing, but you park "in" your driveway. Does the condition of being in a car somehow make a driveway an enclosed space when being on foot (or on your face) does not? Is it wrong to say you're sleeping in your driveway, but not that you're sleeping in the street?

Liam and Me - Convincing, but you park "in" your driveway.

A car is "on" whatever its resting on - to say you were parked "on" a street would be more correct than to say you'd parked "in" it. But that's entirely irrelevant in this case, since the subject of the article isn't in a car.

Does the condition of being in a car somehow make a driveway an enclosed space when being on foot (or on your face) does not? Is it wrong to say you're sleeping in your driveway, but not that you're sleeping in the street?

No, being in a car doesn't make the driveway an enclosed space. You're "in" your car, and your car is "on" the driveway. Again, it's more correct to say you're sleeping "on" the street than "in" it, but that doesn't really matter - people will still understand exactly what you mean either way.

Note that I say that one option is "more correct" instead of the other option being "wrong". This is because there are no actual rules for language, only guidelines, and life's short enough as it is.

Therion: Garp?

My thoughts exactly - although the Garp incident is way more cringe worthy