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(Some Guy)   McDonald's restructuring corporate ranks, holding recall election for Mayor McCheese   (newswatch50.com) divider line 45
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2839 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Aug 2006 at 7:23 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2006-08-23 04:22:51 PM  
Constable Big Mac seizes power in a bloody coup.
 
2006-08-23 07:26:03 PM  
The Hamburglar is plotting to steal the throne.
 
2006-08-23 07:26:03 PM  
Good. Whoever completed McDonalds' ghettification with that idiot new jingle deserves to have his or her head roll.
 
2006-08-23 07:26:51 PM  
not lovin' it
 
2006-08-23 07:26:54 PM  
yeah, "idiotic," whatever
 
2006-08-23 07:27:43 PM  
Grimace is planning to rape the country-side in an effort to destablize morale.
 
2006-08-23 07:29:00 PM  
Grimmas bowed out of the running after a controversy concerning his revealed parentage. He was the love child of
Jujube the harlot and a shadowy figure known as "Grape Ape".
 
2006-08-23 07:29:48 PM  
The best thing McDonalds could do to raise its stock is kidnap people and do experiments on them involving raising the levels of fat in the blood to a degree where it could be considered synthetic and self-renewing. Then farm the blood and sell it to medical institutions.

Please don't ask how that thought process arose.
 
2006-08-23 07:30:50 PM  
When I was a child I had a fact book that said MacDonald's employees had to major in "Burgerology".
 
2006-08-23 07:32:46 PM  
Why hasn't this company tanked already?

The food is terrible, the surroundings disgusting and the employees apathetic to the extreme.

The last employee to serve me was a 17 year old goth pincushin with "Satin" carved into her forearm.

Who hires these people? Why is this company still here!!!
 
2006-08-23 07:34:53 PM  
With God on our side, may they all die of heart attacks.
 
2006-08-23 07:39:10 PM  
Good. Whoever completed McDonalds' ghettification with that idiot new jingle deserves to have his or her head roll.

Ghettification???

You must enlighten me. How is the jingle in any way "Ghetto?"
 
2006-08-23 07:40:21 PM  
They should go all vegan with their menu. YEAHHH!

And the Fry Guys are the unholy offspring of Cthulhu and some cheerleader's pom-poms.
 
2006-08-23 07:40:22 PM  
Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr: Why hasn't this company tanked already?

The last employee to serve me was a 17 year old goth pincushin with "Satin" carved into her forearm.


Was she atleast cute?
 
2006-08-23 07:40:40 PM  

It's good to be the King !!!


www.blogtastrophe.com

 
2006-08-23 07:42:28 PM  
Grimace should be placed at the top, because as we all know;

"Nothing can kill the Grimace."
 
2006-08-23 07:42:40 PM  
submitter: McDonald's restructuring corporate ranks, holding recall election for Mayor McCheese

Doesn't suprise me, especially after that press conference on Robot Chicken a few months ago involving thai hookers.

The Hamburglar did all he could with damage control.
 
2006-08-23 07:43:16 PM  
Bring back the Hammurderer!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27899
 
2006-08-23 07:43:41 PM  
RodneyToady: Bring back the Hammurderer!

Leave me out of this.
 
2006-08-23 07:46:32 PM  
Holy hell RodneyToady, whats the odds eh?
 
2006-08-23 07:47:05 PM  
McDonalds sucks.

/wish my kid thought the same
 
2006-08-23 07:56:13 PM  
Will this administration ever bring the Hamburglar to justice?
 
2006-08-23 07:56:24 PM  
Wow...a new org chart....I suppose if I owned any of their stock I'd be interested but I think the market is tapped out and big growth isn't likely.
 
2006-08-23 07:59:30 PM  
Damn those hanging McChads..
 
2006-08-23 08:05:26 PM  
Burger King move in, occupies McDonaldland and force democratic elections. The King's reason has to do with McDonald's developement of a Burger of Mass Destruction. The Big Big Mac, ruled illegal by the United Nutritionists, is never found although there were some large boxes from 1988 located. They may have been built to transport said burger. These boxes were provided by BK when McDonaldland was being attacked by Wendy's and her "Where's the Beef" fanatics.
 
2006-08-23 08:07:32 PM  
xselectah: You must enlighten me. How is the jingle in any way "Ghetto?"

The jingle is "ghetto" because it consists of a series of meaningless syllables followed by a sentence whose grammar can be found only in street talk. Who with a grasp of standard grammar says "I'm lovin[g] it"? "I love it" is present continuing to begin with because of the nature of the verb "love"; the use of the participial verb phrase isn't necessary.

And the slogan isn't just ghetto -- it's stupid. Take a look at the downward-trending IQ exhibited by McDonald's slogans over the years:

"It's a good time for the great taste of McDonald's" (actually a rather intelligent slogan)

becomes

"Have you had your break today?"

becomes

"We love to see you smile"

becomes

"Bada ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it."

(I'm missing one between "good time/great taste" and "break," I'm pretty sure...)

The substantive content of the McDonald's slogan decreases as the emotive content increases, to the point that half of the slogan consists of inarticulate grunting.
 
2006-08-23 08:12:47 PM  
Since April 2004, McDonald's has seen two chief executives die of illnesses and a number of highly regarded executives depart

That's because they were sneaking out to stuff themselves with Buger King stackers!

/Probably aslo sneaking over to eat Dairy Fairy WEENERS !
 
2006-08-23 08:27:16 PM  
AllahAckbar

I find it interesting that you view "street talk" with such disdain. Linguistically speaking it conveys the exact same amount of information as what you would refer to as correct english, and in some cases is capable of expressing arbitrary concepts that traditional english has struggled with (i can't give you examples off the to of my head, but google around a bit, it's been a while since i took a linguistics class). My argument is not that the slogan is better or worse (i actually like it), but that in essence you are decrying the natural course of the living breathing entity that is the vernacular as lackign "substantive content."
 
2006-08-23 08:29:28 PM  
1960s Look for the Golden Arches
1967 McDonald's is Your Kind of Place
1971 You Deserve a Break Today
1975 We Do it All for You
1975 Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce
cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun
1976 You, You're The One
1979 Nobody Can Do It Like McDonald's Can
1980 You Deserve a Break Today
1981 Nobody Makes Your Day Like McDonald's Can
1983 McDonald's and You
1984 It's a Good Time for the Great Taste of McDonald's
1985 It's Mac Tonight
1988 Good Time, Great Taste, (That's Why This is My Place)
Late 1980s Theres nothing quite like a McDonald's
1990 Food, Folks and Fun
1991 McDonald's Today
1992 It's Mac Time (Australia only)
1992 What You Want is What You Get
1993 Do You Believe in Magic?
1994 Make every day a McDonalds Day (South Africa only)
1995 Have You Had your Break Today?
1997 My McDonald's
1997 Did Somebody Say McDonald's?
1998 Only McDonald's (Australia only)
1990s A Visit To McDonalds Makes Your Day (United Kingdom)
2000 We Love to See You Smile
2000 Put a Smile On
2001 There's a little McDonald's in Everyone (Canada only)
2001 Things that make you go 'mmm' (Australia, UK and New Zealand)
2002 Every time a good time
2003 i'm lovin' it (the Justin Timberlake slogan song)
2005 Feed Your Inner Child (an advertisement shown in Australia showed various adults freezing and having child versions coming out of them)

I personally liked Mac Tonight, the grinning moon guy in shades.
 
2006-08-23 08:35:39 PM  
O great mabay I could be a GM for McDonalds and probaly make less then I do now.

/ does not make lots of money
 
2006-08-23 08:38:56 PM  
"it's a BIRTH DEFECT!"
 
2006-08-23 08:47:07 PM  
uclafalcon
I personally liked Mac Tonight, the grinning moon guy in shades.

Wow, thanks for that Mcbit o' nostalgia. I completely forgot about that guy. I Liked those commercials as a kid, when I would actually eat at Macdonald's now and then.

/good time
//[not so] great taste
 
2006-08-23 09:01:35 PM  
xselectah: You're right -- I was trolling, mostly.

I realize that the reason McDonalds has gone down this road is that fast-food restaurants' audience has become more and more inner-city as suburbanites grow to disdain fast food and as grocery stores move out of inner cities and cheap-in-the-short-run fast-food joints move in (hence all the poor urban fat kids). Thus, it makes perfect sense that fast-food restaurants would make their ad campaigns appeal to that audience.

I would, however, like to see them market to the rest of us as well.

/likes the new snack wraps -- no cheese, please
//Big 'n' Tasty, no cheese, no mayo is also good
///never tried one of the salads
 
2006-08-23 09:03:31 PM  
And you're right about the vernacular; De vulgari eloquentia says much the same thing. If you haven't read it, you'll enjoy it.

Also, I note in your bio that you enjoyed Thus Spoke Zarathustra. From "Spoke," I take it that you've chosen the Kaufmann translation? If so, good call.
 
2006-08-23 09:05:50 PM  
Mac Tonight! Here's the 1987 masterpiece itself

And, for good measure, Crack is Whack
 
2006-08-23 09:17:49 PM  
nope, sorry, freaky Mac tonight guy was, and is, disturbing. He's alwasy...watching...from the sky...
 
2006-08-23 09:19:13 PM  
Bring back the original hamburgers and cheeseburgers, not the baterial steamed crap pies that they sell now. Ick!
 
2006-08-23 09:20:35 PM  
Put a Smile on, Did Somebody Say McDonald's and Do you Believe in Magic are my faves, but I'm young so I haven't heard the other ones.
 
2006-08-23 09:32:42 PM  
I knew a girl that worked at McDonalds corporate and when she told people where she worked it was funny to see their reaction. Most people assumed she worked at store level and she would show them her business card. After awhile she just told them she was an accountant.
I would have told everyone that I worked at McDonalds. Maybe use it as a way to weed out the assh0les.
 
2006-08-23 09:41:50 PM  
img201.imageshack.us
 
2006-08-23 09:50:41 PM  
I don't think I have even steped foot into a McDonalds for years. I eat fast food maybe 3 or 4 times a year and it tends to be subway or something at least half way healthy.
 
2006-08-23 10:23:42 PM  
i64.photobucket.com
 
2006-08-23 11:41:23 PM  
McDonald's McSUCKS!
 
2006-08-24 12:42:18 AM  
McDonald's breakfast menu rocks. Only Muslims and liberal vaginas hate it.
 
2006-08-25 01:25:43 AM  
the only thing good in McDee's is the fries!
 
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