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(Something Awful)   Lowtax cruelly mocks Tolkien fanboys who flame them for their fake "Lord of the Rings" review.   (somethingawful.com) divider line 271
    More: Amusing  
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7622 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2002 at 4:13 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



271 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2002-07-01 06:12:32 PM  
For the sake of general education, please note the difference between 'wit' and 'attitude' in a 5-page essay, typed, single-spaced.

When you amend thy face, I shall amend my life - is wit.

This guy is so ugly I want to run him over! - is attitude.

SA - it ain't Shakespeare.
 
2002-07-01 06:12:44 PM  
I think someone had a great idea though - post a fake review of Something Awful and see if the SA forum goons respond in kind. I think that'd be so ironic.

I bet they would cower and weep after viewing the pinnacle of wit that we would produce, what with Fark being the singularity of humor from which all funny emanates outward.
 
2002-07-01 06:19:41 PM  
Thanks for the comments! I really enjoy hearing what you have to say about Something Awful!

In the future we will do our best to adjust our content to better suit your needs as a consumer.
 
2002-07-01 06:19:48 PM  
SA == Jackie Harvey:

http://www.theonion.com/archive/archive_harvey.html

Beautiful ruse. I give it a 10.
 
2002-07-01 06:21:34 PM  

My point is that they picked a very easy target. When a site has to depend on OTHER morons for their content, I think it's safe to say that it's really starting to reach for humor.


If SA was "reaching" for humor, it'd be poking fun at FARK a bit more often. *grin*



[image from yiff.com too old to be available]

 
2002-07-01 06:25:37 PM  
SA went downhill when people other than Lowtax began writing for it.
 
2002-07-01 06:26:33 PM  
I disagree. I think it went downhill when Drew Curtis was compelled by some evil demon to call it "Drew Curtis' SomethingAwful.WilWheaton"
 
2002-07-01 06:28:49 PM  
SlayerSwine,

I'm glad I found someone that agrees with my desire to bang the elf boots off of Liv Tyler. I have a couple of friends that constantly harass me because I said "Liv Tyler is hot".

I haven't been able to look at her without lusting after I accidentally caught Stealing Beauty on Skinemax. I heard she was 16 or 17 in that movie so I hope that doesn't make me a perv.
 
2002-07-01 06:28:53 PM  
DUDES!!! BREAKING NEWS STORY: FRANCE SURRENDERS!!!!!!

BOOBIES!
 
2002-07-01 06:30:06 PM  
Yeah. Funny, I guess.
 
2002-07-01 06:31:06 PM  
Bunch of bitter farkers give us all a bad name. Get a farking clue you morons.
 
2002-07-01 06:32:12 PM  
07-01-02 06:19:41 PM
ZackParsons

Thanks for the comments! I really enjoy hearing what you have to say about Something Awful!

In the future we will do our best to adjust our content to better suit your needs as a consumer.


Thanks.
 
2002-07-01 06:33:38 PM  
StDaedalus...

Saying that you could've done something when you haven't is called sour grapes.

and your argument makes NO sense at all. So wow, you weren't good looking enough and/or had a good enough voice to be a teeny bopper star. You're not talented enough to churn out bubble gum pop. You're not charismatic enough to get on to survivor. So that means you ARE better than Lowtax?

If you don't like somethingawful humor, you don't. I personally think it gets absolutely hilarious at times. At other times, it's horribly written whiny crap. I'm not going to say I can do better though because I don't have a site as successful as Lowtax, and I doubt I could make one.
 
2002-07-01 06:34:21 PM  
Settle down Beavis, I mean StDiddleUs.
 
2002-07-01 06:38:24 PM  
What is wrong with you people?

OH NO SOMETHING AWFUL SUCKS VOTE FOR FARK BOOBIES LOL

Get out of the farking house and away from your computer monitors.
 
2002-07-01 06:39:38 PM  
07-01-02 06:38:24 PM
Integral

What is wrong with you people?

OH NO SOMETHING AWFUL SUCKS VOTE FOR FARK BOOBIES LOL

Get out of the farking house and away from your computer monitors.


Sorry, dude, I'm at work. Speaking of work, don't you have some fries to cook or something?
 
2002-07-01 06:40:35 PM  
Angering fanboys is like shooting fish in a barrel.
Shooting fish in a barrel is fun.
More TruthMedia! Spiderman needs a few rounds fired at it.
 
2002-07-01 06:41:07 PM  

Oh damn, I pissed myself laughing again!


[image from nameless.nodist.net too old to be available] = Major FanBoy/Band Fag

 
2002-07-01 06:41:28 PM  
Speaking of angry fan boys, nice to see the SA crew over here defending their honor.
 
2002-07-01 06:41:44 PM  
BTW, that was StDiddleUs.
 
2002-07-01 06:42:06 PM  
Something Awful sux d00d, it was only funny one day about 2 years ago. the new writers suck & that LoTR review was lame and wrong. DID U even read the LoTR review they possted? IT WAS SO FARKING WRONG TAHT IT WAS NOT EVEN FUNNEY!!! all the new wrtiers suck and Lowtax sucks my donkey;'s snout!1 FARK R00LZ SOEMTHING AWEFUL DR00LZ !!! all soemthing awefull does is make fun of retraded people and thats just reacheing for it if you asked me. GET A SENSE OF HUMOR YOU JERKS

"SOmething Awefull" is right, taht site sure is SOMETHING AWEFUL!!!!



There, I've summed up all previous and future Fark / SA trolls for you guys. You can thank me later.
 
2002-07-01 06:44:10 PM  
If any of you have any additional suggestions regarding how we can better service your needs as our valued readers, please do not hesitate to contact one of our customer service representatives. In the event that you are unable to determine how to operate your e-mail client we will have an 800 number up shortly so that you can contact. If you are unable to operate a telephone because of physical or mental disability, we will attempt to send a representative to your home. Your feedback is that valuable to us!

Thank you again!
 
2002-07-01 06:44:51 PM  
LowTax,

I for one think that the whole cliff yablonski thing is funnier than shiat. See above for your(I mean Cliff's) next victim.
 
2002-07-01 06:49:48 PM  
Fark Rulz! AZN PRIDE
BLING BLING
BOBBIES!

Now I'm gonna go put on some dark clothes and white makeup, and write angsty goth poetry in the dark, and when I'm done, I'll use MS Paint to 'photoshop' fruit into Wil Wheaton.
 
2002-07-01 06:55:58 PM  
1. Link to SA posted on Fark.
2. Farkers trash SA.
3. Lowtax demonstrates his emotional security by immediately posting to Fark in defense of SA.
4. SA forum regulars flood Fark, making various jokes about Boobies and Wil Wheaton.
 
2002-07-01 07:01:07 PM  
07-01-02 06:55:58 PM MalfunctioningMeatMonster
1. Link to SA posted on Fark.
2. Farkers trash SA.
3. Lowtax demonstrates his emotional security by immediately posting to Fark in defense of SA.
4. SA forum regulars flood Fark, making various jokes about Boobies and Wil Wheaton.

You forgot:
5. Farker troll posts something stupid.
Actually, I think you've got that covered.

As for posting on here when an SA article is linked, I don't understand where the problem is. You guys have the right to trash me just like I have the right to reply.

For a site that just links to other people's content and has no content of its own, you guys sure are picky.
 
2002-07-01 07:02:14 PM  
You know what's ironic?? This web page is on a site called "SOMETHING AWFUL.COM" <-- it really is something awful..
 
2002-07-01 07:05:17 PM  
07-01-02 07:02:14 PM Jeremyf
You know what's ironic?? This web page is on a site called "SOMETHING AWFUL.COM"

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahah

Oh dear lord, that is priceless. PLEASE tell me you're just kidding. Usually my sarcasm detector works quite well, but it doesn't work on the Fark forums because I honestly can't tell who's making a sarcastic remark and who's just really stupid.

Dear God, PLEASE
tell me you're joking.
 
2002-07-01 07:05:33 PM  
07-01-02 07:02:14 PM Jeremyf

You know what's ironic?? This web page is on a site called "SOMETHING AWFUL.COM"
<-- it really is something awful..


When God was handing out Originality, your name fell through the cracks and got lost in the paperwork. Good job sir. lolers to yuo. ^__^
 
2002-07-01 07:06:02 PM  
It is our goal at Something Awful to provide a reasoned and positive response to any criticism we might receive. While we cannot address every concern of our readership we appreciate your interest. Our comments in this thread are intended to open the lines of communication between the management of Something Awful and the readers who enjoy our work. While Something Awful is not intended for everyone, we sincerely hope that we can use your unique perspective as a pseudo-literate link clicker to better the click through rate for our advertisers.

What would you like to see on Something Awful? Would displaying pictures of snack foods, sodas, and soft core pornography make Something Awful a more suitable enivornment for your reading pleasure? Would you like to see our articles replaced with iconic or phoentic segments intended for those with severe learning disabilities?

What sections would you like to see added to Something Awful? We are currently considering the following and your input on this matter would be very valuable:

- The MIDI Shrine. All of the best MIDI on the Internet in one place. All files will be embedded into a single HTML file as we add them, so that you don't have to click through screen after screen to find the MIDI you most treasure.

- Photographs of breasts. We are interested in catering to the lowest common denominator if that will net us increased traffic to our site. What we are not certain of is how to best present this section. Would you prefer an eclectic mix of breasts or would you like to see breasts segregated by size and shape?

- Video clips of people being hit in the groin. FARK readers have helped to make shows like "America's Funniest Home Videos" and "When Good Pets Go Bad" a big success on the airwaves. With that in mind we will offer exclusive content consisting of all of the greatest groin impacts that have not yet been seen on TV.

- Ten Pages devoted to that picture of the squirrel with big nuts. I can't see how this could possibly be anything but classic.

Once again, I implore you to comment on these issues as they will directly impact your enjoyment of our product.
 
2002-07-01 07:07:16 PM  
I'd like to see more of that Emily broad naked.
 
2002-07-01 07:07:40 PM  
How about we SA folks just call a truce with you Fark guys and you can Photoshop some new and interesting grasses for us as a token of your friendship.
 
2002-07-01 07:08:23 PM  
Lowtax,
I still like you and your site.
Always did. Always will.
That can either be an "Excellent,'Swiney is cool" thing or "Fugg that asshole" thing.

I think I know your answer...
 
2002-07-01 07:09:46 PM  
07-01-02 07:07:16 PM Lowtax
I'd like to see more of that Emily broad naked.


RAWR, step right this way, Tiger! I think that I can take a break from my duties in the kitchen long enough to oblige!
 
2002-07-01 07:10:50 PM  
The beauty of this whole thread is that it started over some flamebait to anger LOTR fans. Well, bravo, SA fanboys, you've clearly demonstrated that LOTR fanboys ain't got nothing on you. Zack, since you're taking suggestions, perhaps your crews reactions to this thread would make a fine feature. I appreciate your eagerness to reach out to the readers.
 
2002-07-01 07:12:08 PM  
Yeah, get out of the kitchen you dumb broad and get over here and service me at once! Stop cooking those fries and get over here and cook my fry!

Get down on your knees and suck these N-U-Teez!
 
2002-07-01 07:13:12 PM  
I do not want to see Lowtax nekkid.
 
2002-07-01 07:13:13 PM  
Well to be honest, Pictures of Breasts are never a bad idea. Well, almost never.
 
2002-07-01 07:13:32 PM  
I'm sorry baby! It's just that I told you that I would have these pies and the roast done by six this evening for the company! Please don't hit me again; I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you, I swear. I'll make you that special pudding you like so much.
 
2002-07-01 07:13:43 PM  
DrToast:

Thank you! It is my sincere pleasure to interact with our diverse readership on matters such as this. While you may feel that we are sometimes out of touch with our readership in actuality this could not be more distant from the truth! Our site is shaped solely by the opinion and judgement of our readership and by eight Japanese investors working out of Okinawa who wish to remain anonymous.
 
2002-07-01 07:13:52 PM  
DUDES CAN I JOIN THE FARK ADVERTISING TEAM?!?!! MY MAD PHOTOCHOPPIN SKILLZ MAKE ME A REAL WINNAR!! LOL A WINNAR IS ME!!!

[image from yiff.com too old to be available]
 
2002-07-01 07:15:16 PM  
Emily "falls down the stairs" an awful lot and has to wear these oversized black sunglasses whenever she goes out. I think the neighbors are getting suspicious though, so I might have to learn how to do a more "clean" job.

Oh Emily, what time does your plane leave tomorrow? I don't have it written down here.
 
2002-07-01 07:15:55 PM  
Emily, can you mail me some of that pie? We have blueberry that is fantastic, maybe we can swap pieces of pie.

Unless you have Pumpkin, I am not a big fan of Pumpkin Pie.
 
2002-07-01 07:17:02 PM  
At 10AM so I think we'll have to wake up at 5AM or so because it's a half an hour drive to the airport and traffic will be bad. PLus you wanted to stop off at the PO box downtown, so if you want to do that before we get to the airport that'll be fine. I want to go to the bookstore at some point and find some crappy book to read on the plane, too. You want to go with me this afternoon and do that? We can get a nice meal somewhere, too.
 
2002-07-01 07:18:22 PM  
Sure thing, Zack. Do you like cherries? I really like cherry pie. It's my favorite pie. Especially with ice cream; that is some seriously tasty pie right there.
 
2002-07-01 07:18:35 PM  
biatch I don't care about your farking flight, what about the farking pie?
 
2002-07-01 07:19:13 PM  
Oh crap, yeah, we have to go to the mail office. The traffic is going to be terrible in downtown Seattle in the morning, so we'll have to leave early or take the 99 south.

Let's grab some Mexican food tonight, I've got some Rantadine so my stomach won't be acting up like usual.

And oh, Zack, we just have Pumpkin pie. We were going to make a raspberry one, but we couldn't find any ripe raspberries at the store.
 
2002-07-01 07:19:17 PM  
I like most pie. Cherry is good.

Sorry about fake cussing.
 
2002-07-01 07:19:31 PM  
While you may feel that we are sometimes out of touch with our readership in actuality this could not be more distant from the truth!

Far from it, my good man! You have clearly demonstrated your eagerness to seek out suggestions in your quest for perfection. As for the eight Japanese investors, I respect that their opinion will carry more weight as I'm sure they are cutting the checks.
 
2002-07-01 07:20:18 PM  
Emily, can I come over tomorrow night to have a taste of those fantabulous waffles I've heard you cook?

I know that normally that kind of delicacy is only reserved for your husband on those "special occasions" when he's not busy out on dates with the thousands of different women he's had over the years, or busy abusing you and calling your parents at 3AM laughing like Goofy.

But please Emily. We shared so much back in college together before he took you away, and I beg of you, please let me taste the legend just once before he inevitably kills you and your body is found floating in the Snohomish river.
 
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