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(Something Awful)   Lowtax cruelly mocks Tolkien fanboys who flame them for their fake "Lord of the Rings" review.   (somethingawful.com) divider line 271
    More: Amusing  
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7622 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2002 at 4:13 PM (13 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



271 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2002-07-01 07:20:26 PM  
07-01-02 07:18:35 PM ZackParsons
biatch I don't care about your farking flight, what about the farking pie?


Don't talk to Emily like that, Zack. Seriously, it isn't funny and she doesn't like it. That's what we had the discussion about last night after we watched her shows on Tivo.
 
2002-07-01 07:20:33 PM  
You know what pie is good, that apple pie at McDonalds ain't too bad considering it's McDonalds. Although it would be better if it wasn't 8000 degrees.
 
2002-07-01 07:21:23 PM  
07-01-02 07:20:18 PM Bobby
Emily, can I come over tomorrow night to have a taste of those fantabulous waffles I've heard you cook?


She's going to be out of town tomorrow night. She'll be out for 10 days, visiting her family in the Green Bay area.
 
2002-07-01 07:21:44 PM  
Oh, and I prefer blueberry pie over pumpkin, it makes me ill and I feel all bloated and get a rash from it. I think I'm allergic to it. I'm also allergic to rhubarb and my throat swells up when I eat it.
 
2002-07-01 07:22:34 PM  
07-01-02 07:20:33 PM DrToast
You know what pie is good, that apple pie at McDonalds ain't too bad considering it's McDonalds. Although it would be better if it wasn't 8000 degrees.

True, but the cherry pastries at Arby's are much better.
 
2002-07-01 07:23:30 PM  
Well we can take the 99 to avoid the crappy traffic. I still have to pack all of my clothes and stuff; I'm pretty behind. But i guess I'm not sleeping tonight so I'll have time do do all of that. Although I did have other ideas as to what we could do tonight. Damn, I don't want to go to Green Bay.

Anyway, yeah, Mexican sounds good. It's been awhile since we went to that good place down the street, but I always like going there because of the convenient foot-groping booths. Plus the food is pretty good, or at least it has been so far.

Oh, have you seen my red shirt? The short-sleeved one with the collar? I guess I should do the laundry but I am lazy and sullen due to my impending trip.
 
2002-07-01 07:23:54 PM  
Mommy and daddy are fighting again. Make it stop!
 
2002-07-01 07:24:17 PM  
I know, I've been trying to control my anger better. I know it upsets Emily's acid reflux. Michelle and I are going out for Sushiatonight with her friends.
 
2002-07-01 07:24:30 PM  
07-01-02 07:23:30 PM Integral
Oh, have you seen my red shirt? The short-sleeved one with the collar? I guess I should do the laundry but I am lazy and sullen due to my impending trip.


It's still in the washing machine I think...? I'll check when I get home.
 
2002-07-01 07:24:32 PM  
On a offtopic note. My wife is insane. Everytime we go on vacation to another country she heads to the nearest McDonalds to find out if their apple pie is fried or baked. Apparently, McDonalds in the US doesn't deep fry their pies anymore.

Personally, I prefer hair pie, but don't tell her that.
 
2002-07-01 07:24:53 PM  
THIS SUCKS WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO ANOTHERTHINGAWFUL.COM HEY CALL 811 (OUR VERSION OF 911) LET'S KICK THESE GUYS OUT OF FARKISTANI!! OH NO LOOK THE ROYAL GUARDS IS HERE:

[image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available][image from happygoodies.com too old to be available]
 
2002-07-01 07:25:08 PM  
07-01-02 07:21:44 PM Bobby
Oh, and I prefer blueberry pie over pumpkin, it makes me ill and I feel all bloated and get a rash from it. I think I'm allergic to it. I'm also allergic to rhubarb and my throat swells up when I eat it.


Rhubarb is not meant for human consumption. IT SHOULD HAVE A SIGN ON IT THAT READS "FOR BUNNIES ONLY" LOLOLOLOL
 
2002-07-01 07:25:44 PM  
07-01-02 07:24:17 PM ZackParsons
I know, I've been trying to control my anger better. I know it upsets Emily's acid reflux. Michelle and I are going out for Sushiatonight with her friends.


Don't get the California Roll like you did last time! God, you didn't stop complaining about that for like two weeks.
 
2002-07-01 07:25:59 PM  
Well god dammit Rich I don't want YOUR waffles, I want HERS. She puts that extra bit of OOMPH into them. Well that or the green food coloring, I can't tell after having smoked six pHAT bLUNtZ chillin' over at K-Dawg's pad playing Super Smash Brothers all day. I guess I'll have to settle for Toaster Strudel yet AGAIN, won't I.
 
2002-07-01 07:26:03 PM  
07-01-02 07:23:54 PM
Livestock

Mommy and daddy are fighting again. Make it stop!


Don't worry, I'm sure Mommy will tell Daddy he can't have anymore of her special pie anymore and Daddy will back down.
 
2002-07-01 07:26:26 PM  
Dont most of you sheep know that this is all a scam?

I tried to play along, but it didn't work.

[image from kinnetica.com too old to be available]
 
2002-07-01 07:26:33 PM  
07-01-02 07:20:26 PM Lowtax
Don't talk to Emily like that, Zack. Seriously, it isn't funny and she doesn't like it. That's what we had the discussion about last night after we watched her shows on Tivo.


I like it sometimes. You know... sometimes?
 
2002-07-01 07:27:01 PM  
07-01-02 07:24:53 PM Jeremyf

Oh my, that kitten is so cute! I've never seen that before, where did you find it? Can you give me the Internet address (web address on the Internet) so I can see the whole picture please?

Thanks!
 
2002-07-01 07:27:32 PM  
HYUK Wow, this is the longest I've been out of the kitchen in a really long time! What's that funny bright thing in the sky?
 
2002-07-01 07:27:44 PM  
The California roll just looks so good on that little laminated card though. It's a trick.
 
2002-07-01 07:28:39 PM  
07-01-02 07:25:59 PM Bobby
chillin' over at K-Dawg's pad playing Super Smash Brothers all day.


His Nintendo just broke, so if you're going to come over this weekend to play with us, you'll have to bring your own. We'll probably go to Best Buy and get another one next week though. Do you know of any place that sells them cheaper?
 
2002-07-01 07:28:41 PM  
Does Arby's really have cherry pastries? And are they really good?
 
2002-07-01 07:29:14 PM  
07-01-02 07:24:17 PM ZackParsons
IMichelle and I are going out for Sushiatonight with her friends.


Wow, you guy go out? With friends? I wish Rich would let me stop cooking and stuffing t-shirts in envelopes long enough to make friends.
 
2002-07-01 07:29:53 PM  
07-01-02 07:28:41 PM DrToast
Does Arby's really have cherry pastries? And are they really good?


Seriously. They're deep fried AND have icing on the top. They're so good. I used to eat them all the time when I went to college in Nashville. There was an Arby's down the street and I'd go there during my lunch hour in between classes.
 
2002-07-01 07:30:08 PM  
They're her friends.

I hate them all utterly.
 
2002-07-01 07:30:39 PM  
WHY ISN'T ANYONE HELPING ME THESE GUYS ARE TAKING OVER FARKISTAN BY TALKING ABOUT RHUBARB AND FARTING WE'VE GOT TO GET THESE GUYS OUT OF HERE, SOMEONE GET "LOWTAX" AND "ZACKPARSONS" IP ADDRESS AND I'LL MELT THEIR VIDEO CARDS SO THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO BUG US EVER AGAIN. LOOK FOR LOWTAX'S NEW EBAY AUCTION "L@@K!!! NON-WORKING MELTED VIDEO CARD!!!! UNIQUE"
 
2002-07-01 07:30:52 PM  
07-01-02 07:29:14 PM Integral
I wish Rich would let me stop cooking and stuffing t-shirts in envelopes long enough to make friends.


If you would ever make any decent-tasting food then we wouldn't have this problem now would we?
 
2002-07-01 07:31:44 PM  
07-01-02 07:27:44 PM ZackParsons
The California roll just looks so good on that little laminated card though. It's a trick.


California Rolls are TASTY! But I am a fan of 'sushi' sushi-- you know, a slab of fish on a slab of rice. Especially tuna and salmon. Those are really good with a little bit of soy sauce and wasabi.
 
2002-07-01 07:32:04 PM  
What is this "friend" concept you speak of? I spend most of my day cooped up in my 5'x8' shoebox of a room listening to my Yanni records and chatting to my eBudz on Yahoo and AOL. Is a "friend" the guy with the @ next to his nick in the chat? I've always wanted to be that cool but I never had the courage to break out.
 
2002-07-01 07:33:10 PM  
Friends are sort of like dogs only taller.
 
2002-07-01 07:33:36 PM  
07-01-02 07:30:08 PM ZackParsons
They're her friends.

I hate them all utterly.


That's funny because Rich hated all of my friends (with good reason because they were all moronic hipster dufuses), and now I don't have any friends. But I have him so I don't need friends! And we watch movies together and play on the intra/webnette.
 
2002-07-01 07:34:46 PM  
07-01-02 07:30:52 PM Lowtax
If you would ever make any decent-tasting food then we wouldn't have this problem now would we?


Oh, I'll give you decent-tasting food alright. And how.
 
2002-07-01 07:35:04 PM  
Now, Zack, you best be careful. What would the Japanese investors think of you spending so much time over here?
 
2002-07-01 07:35:39 PM  
07-01-02 07:33:36 PM Integral
That's funny because Rich hated all of my friends (with good reason because they were all moronic hipster dufuses), and now I don't have any friends. But I have him so I don't need friends! And we watch movies together and play on the intra/webnette.


Better to have no friends than friends who engage in horrid lesbian activities during social events...

(shudder)
 
2002-07-01 07:36:19 PM  
Oh, I got this e-mail from one of the LOTR fanboys who originally e-mailed us. Sounds like another lawsuit in the works, check it out:

I must give credit where it is due. It was nice work sucking us all in and posting our replies for a laugh. You're right (in retrospect) some of them sound rather silly, even my own. However Personally I don't see what the fuss is about.

On another note: It is illegal to provide my e-mail address; I cannot receive e-mail here at work that results from links at a site like yours unless the company I work for provides permission. Please remove the link to my e-mail address.

I appreciate the joke and I appreciate your out to "get us", I have no objections myself, but I must ask for the e-mail link to be removed.

Regards,
Paul
 
2002-07-01 07:36:59 PM  
[image from happygoodies.com too old to be available]
 
2002-07-01 07:37:11 PM  
Oh, if you want to contact him his e-mail address is:

p­t­w­omey­[nospam-﹫-backwards]enb­*ca­tholic*edu*a­u
 
2002-07-01 07:38:21 PM  
THAT WILL BE YOU IF YOU KEEP IT UP, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TIRED OF BEING ON AN "AWFUL" WEBSITE SO YOU HAVE TO RUIN OURS? HOW PATHETIC
 
2002-07-01 07:38:33 PM  
07-01-02 07:35:39 PM Lowtax
Better to have no friends than friends who engage in horrid lesbian activities during social events...


I TOLD YOU THAT THAT WOMAN WAS TROUBLE!! Remember? The first time you came to Wisconsin and she called you on the phone and you admitted that she had propositioned you drunkenly or whatever? And you said, "NO, SHE'S NICE! SHE HAS BAD MOVIES!" And I hated her because she was female and dared to speak to you and then I met her in person and hated her even more. Well now look! She's an alcoholic and her lesbian make-out flab partner is getting married to sone poor Australian sap. HAHA I WAS RIGHT I TOLD YOU SO AHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2002-07-01 07:38:54 PM  
omg internet terrism!!!!
 
2002-07-01 07:38:57 PM  
Damn, Zack, he seemed to ask nice enough, he even gave you credit for a good article. Let me guess, you're not going to take down his email address. You so funny.
 
2002-07-01 07:39:08 PM  
Emily you have to break the cycle hon. Break the cycle. If you don't get out now you are doomed to a life of being sexually molested nightly and led around on a leash to social gatherings attended by leering, drooling young former dot.com executives.

I don't know what I can say or do to inspire you to break out but here is the thing that means more to me than anything else. It is a scan of my most prized posession a Wil Wheaton autographed picture. He signed it for me when I went to Toronto Trek in 1993. Wil is the best. Wil told me that in order to be successful I had to go outside the box. I didn't really understand what he meant because I wasn't inside a box at the time, but maybe his words of wisdom can help you.

[image from yiff.com too old to be available]

Go outside the box Emily.
 
2002-07-01 07:40:31 PM  
07-01-02 07:38:21 PM Jeremyf
THAT WILL BE YOU IF YOU KEEP IT UP, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TIRED OF BEING ON AN "AWFUL" WEBSITE SO YOU HAVE TO RUIN OURS? HOW PATHETIC


LOL
 
2002-07-01 07:41:18 PM  
07-01-02 07:39:08 PM Bobby
He signed it for me when I went to Toronto Trek in 1993. Wil is the best.


I'm not a big fan of those uniforms, I thought the other seasons' uniforms were much better.
 
2002-07-01 07:41:57 PM  
07-01-02 07:38:21 PM Jeremyf
THAT WILL BE YOU IF YOU KEEP IT UP, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TIRED OF BEING ON AN "AWFUL" WEBSITE SO YOU HAVE TO RUIN OURS? HOW PATHETIC


ROTFL
 
2002-07-01 07:42:14 PM  
[image from institute-christ-king.org too old to be available]
 
2002-07-01 07:43:41 PM  
YEAH YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING WHEN I TURN YOUR "GEFORCE" INTO A "GOOFORCE"
 
2002-07-01 07:46:06 PM  
07-01-02 07:41:18 PM Lowtax
I'm not a big fan of those uniforms, I thought the other seasons' uniforms were much better.


I think the uniforms from the TNG movies were way overdone. The understated and cleanly designed uniforms from Voyager conveyed the authority of the Starfleet officers in a much more successful and less homoerotic fashion than the TNG series' uniforms did.
 
2002-07-01 07:54:33 PM  
Jeremyf you scared them away.
 
2002-07-01 07:56:32 PM  
When I submitted this link to Fark, the last thing I expected was to learn all about Emily's tasty, tasty pies.
 
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