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(Cincinnati   "Right after we put it up, baby Jesus was stolen, so we chained it"   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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4851 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Aug 2006 at 12:09 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

44 Comments     (+0 »)
2006-08-19 08:45:10 PM  
submitter...are you serious? amusing?

i'm not religious in any way, but that's really, really sad.
2006-08-19 09:05:14 PM  
"My theory is it's kids but I have no proof," said Interim Police Chief Timothy Traud.

'Ya think?
2006-08-19 09:33:00 PM  
They should drove some nails through it.
2006-08-19 09:33:36 PM  
2006-08-20 12:11:34 AM  
milesdavishatesu: i'm not religious in any way, but that's really, really sad.

Well, the quote there certainly is comedy gold, no matter how you look at it.
2006-08-20 12:14:41 AM  

2006-08-20 12:14:48 AM  
Next time make jesus heavy baby:
2006-08-20 12:15:45 AM  
Thread is useless without pics of beshackled baby Jesus.
2006-08-20 12:15:53 AM  
Hell, could make him concrete booties!
2006-08-20 12:18:42 AM  
It's "baby jeebus" submitter. Get it right.
2006-08-20 12:20:20 AM  
The baby Jesus wants kids to get off his lawn.
2006-08-20 12:20:55 AM  
Wouldn't the only people interested in this be christian, and thus would believe that the 10 commanments are from god, and thus not steal?

/no, I'm not being biterly sarcastic...
2006-08-20 12:21:20 AM  
mrexcess beat me to it, but this thread is without merit unless there are pictures of BJ in chains. Black leather optional.
2006-08-20 12:22:04 AM  
It's cool, in the next life it will enjoy untold joys the likes which its earthly body can never, ever imagine so what is a few years of servitude when if it plays ball it could enjoy everlasting life as some kind of celestial paperweight.

WHICH I THINK WOULD BE AWESOME if I WAS AN INANIMATE OBJECT. Which I am not but think about it, man. If I were: TEH AWESOME!
2006-08-20 12:25:17 AM

/they tried to steal his body?
// Didn't RTFA
2006-08-20 12:25:39 AM  
The fun part is trying to imagine who would steal it, and extrapolate what things they would do with it. Some very disturbing images come to mind.
2006-08-20 12:29:06 AM  
So nobody noticed the kid walking down the street with a plastic Jesus and a pair of bolt cutters.
2006-08-20 12:32:04 AM  
People will steal anything that isn't nailed down.
2006-08-20 12:34:09 AM
"Dude, we're like so farking hardcore it's crazy. We totally blew their conformist minds like, in half or whatever"
2006-08-20 12:41:53 AM
2006-08-20 12:52:00 AM  
"We're waiting to see what happens," Hartman said.

how long, three days?
2006-08-20 12:52:07 AM
Wanted for questioning

/"Kaylee, find that kid who's taking a dirt nap with the baby Jesus, we need a hood ornament."
//Serenity outtakes rock.
2006-08-20 12:58:54 AM  
They think the prophet Jesus (peace be upon him) is into S&M? I wonder what's next, maybe a blindfold so he can "see no evil?"
2006-08-20 01:08:00 AM
They only chained him up to keep him away from the eight-year-olds
2006-08-20 01:10:04 AM  
OMG it's satan workshipers and atheists. Everybody panic. Blame rock music.
2006-08-20 01:36:08 AM  
so uh... baby jesus statue for sale...really cheap

/just kidding
//stfu and gbtw
2006-08-20 02:02:49 AM  
well...they kept tellin' me i had to have jesus if i wanted to go to heaven. now they're sayin' they want him back???
2006-08-20 02:03:44 AM  
I guess god was too busy manifesting virgin mary's on cheese sandwhiches and pieces of chocolate to have time to protect jesus statues.

This one must have better security features:
2006-08-20 04:10:50 AM  

/cant believe no one said it
2006-08-20 05:15:47 AM  
Just a hunch, but maybe they can find it here:
2006-08-20 07:21:20 AM  
you cannot chain jesus down man !!!

- he'll brake the shackles
2006-08-20 08:18:00 AM  
Maybe he'll come back from his trip with pictures like gnome friends!

/Hey-zeus, went to Guadalajara!
//Excuse me ma'am, we're on a mission from FSM.
2006-08-20 10:01:08 AM  
"My theory is it's kids but I have no proof," said Interim Police Chief Timothy Traud.

MY theory is that it's someone that really really loves little baby jebus. But then again, I'm not a cop and I also have no proof. Alternate theory is that God is calling home. Last theory: Has anyone done any research on how active the Gnome Liberation Front is in this area? Are they branching out? Any pics of the baby jebus in question? Is it suspiciously gnome-like?
2006-08-20 10:09:22 AM  
It wouldn't happen to be this pair, would it?

(would post piccy, but the artist probably'd complain.)
2006-08-20 10:22:57 AM  
Sweet baby jeebus in chains!
2006-08-20 12:04:51 PM

Dear 8 pound, 6 ounce Baby Jesus..
2006-08-20 12:06:02 PM  
OMG it's satan workshipers and atheists. Everybody panic. Blame rock music.

I blame the ACLU!
2006-08-20 12:32:08 PM  
The baby Jesus at the Canterbury Cathedral is screwed into the cradle to prevent theft. Would've been funnier if they used nails, though.
2006-08-20 01:18:00 PM  
Next time nail him to some cross-like structure.
2006-08-20 01:24:41 PM  
I for one blame the terrorists.
2006-08-20 01:35:47 PM  
CHAZZZ: They should drove some nails through it.

No matter what you do those things are always gone three days later...
2006-08-20 02:17:01 PM

My favorite portrayal of Jesus. Wise, kind and direct.
2006-08-20 09:43:02 PM  
People who steal the Baby Jesus make the Baby Jesus cry.
2006-08-21 11:06:25 AM  
This isn't the first, or second time this has happened around here...

Got Jesus?

Perhaps a GPS is in order?
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