FARK.com: (2236477) Secret to long life is working hard, failing to die

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		Secret to long life is working hard, failing to die (abcnews.go.com)		45
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6335 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2006 at 12:56 PM | Favorite | share:

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HaywoodJablonski		2006-08-17 11:44:36 AM

Funny

EvilEgg		2006-08-17 11:59:50 AM

I think the second part is the majority of it. Because what fun is a long life if you are working hard?

HumbleGod		2006-08-17 12:06:55 PM

I don't know why people keep insisting on dying. Death's a bloke's game.

Rude Turnip		2006-08-17 12:59:56 PM

And the secret to flying is to fall to the ground and miss it.

Whateva_I_DO_WHAT_I_WANT		2006-08-17 01:00:55 PM

Rude Turnip

And the secret to flying is to fall to the ground and miss it.

So long and thanks for all the fish

dittybopper		2006-08-17 01:01:23 PM

Rude Turnip

And the secret to flying is to fall to the ground and miss it.

Actually, that is the secret to orbital mechanics.

Seacop		2006-08-17 01:01:36 PM

The secret? Two words....

Deep. Enemas.

dweir		2006-08-17 01:01:53 PM

I'm looking to discover a cure for death.

bonno		2006-08-17 01:01:54 PM

it is unusual to find five 100-year-olds living in one place is unusual.

It is unusual to see unusual in a sentence twice is unusual.

Mantanga		2006-08-17 01:02:50 PM

I think the secrect is to live longer than next Tuesday
http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/brian_whitaker/2006/08/world_to_end_on_aug ust_22.html

Whateva_I_DO_WHAT_I_WANT		2006-08-17 01:03:28 PM

bonno
it is unusual to find five 100-year-olds living in one place is unusual.

Miami?

West_Side_Charlie		2006-08-17 01:03:39 PM

...have a lot more in common than their longevity and lifelong healthy habits. All are 100 except Stuart, who is 101.

Not only that, they're all old, too.

jesusandeinstein		2006-08-17 01:04:09 PM

if the secret to long life is failure, then everyone bow to me, for i am IMMORTAL!!!!1!

jesusandeinstein		2006-08-17 01:05:08 PM

or maybe that should have read IMMORAL.

/either way, could someone just bow for a minute?

DarkSoulNoHope		2006-08-17 01:05:57 PM

We're all going to die!!! AAAAAAhhhhhhh!!!!

Wait, we are all going to die... So why am I panicing?

Go about your business everyone, don't worry, we're all going to die one day in our lives, might as well accept it.

texas_tornado		2006-08-17 01:11:01 PM

Anybody got a pic of Ric Romero with gray hair?

JoeCowboy		2006-08-17 01:11:11 PM

There can be only one

JC

unicornrider		2006-08-17 01:11:46 PM

Fark till you die, that's the trick.....

Pxtl		2006-08-17 01:14:28 PM

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. -- Woody Allen.

jesusandeinstein		2006-08-17 01:15:35 PM

unicornrider Fark till you die, that's the trick.....

long life, not good life.
/but still worth a try

Pxtl		2006-08-17 01:15:59 PM

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
-- another good quote from Woody Allen

MrNiX		2006-08-17 01:17:35 PM

This guy doesn't agree.

tothekor		2006-08-17 01:24:54 PM

Seriously Agrees.

SretiCentV		2006-08-17 01:30:39 PM

it is unusual to find five 100-year-olds living in one place is unusual.

lol @ the writer. Now Senility is contageous now?

Pair-o-Dice		2006-08-17 01:30:53 PM

and, hard work pays off in the long run.
laziness pays off right now.

Lampmonster		2006-08-17 01:36:16 PM

Pxtl

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
-- another good quote from Woody Allen

I though Twain said something along the lines of "my doctors assure me that I can live to be 100 as long as I give up everything worth living for."

vonmatrices		2006-08-17 01:36:52 PM

All you suckers, planning to die one day.

I for one have chosen to live forever.

/has gone well so far

edschurr		2006-08-17 01:37:17 PM

I thought you were supposed to smoke, eat onions and bacon for breakfast, and do a shot of whiskey every day.

While trying to maintain health is important, I'd guess genetics is the other half of the game.

/don't care how long I live as long as death is quick

AaronK		2006-08-17 01:43:01 PM

AND ONE OLD LADY IS STILL DRIVING!

RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAY!

artman		2006-08-17 01:48:09 PM

Mildred Leaver, Mildred Harris, Grace Wolfson, Gladys Stuart and Viola Semas.

/all women
//statistically live 7 years longer than men
///THIS IS NOT NEWS.

millera9		2006-08-17 01:53:04 PM

These women's names are: Mildred, Grace, Gladys, Viola, and Mildred again!

So I guess the secret is to have a stereotypical turn-of-the-century name. Oh, and the part about the 100 year old blue-hair driving her buick around? Yeah, that deserves an asinine tag.

BlindMan		2006-08-17 02:01:42 PM

You're dead any farking way, quit worrying.

joshywa		2006-08-17 02:02:44 PM

Does working hard at my next Level 60 with uber epic gear count ?

jaysee		2006-08-17 02:05:05 PM

This just in, Secret to long life: Failing to Die. More at 11.

DupeOfURL		2006-08-17 02:10:07 PM

Live long, and prosper.
I shal do neither, for I have killed my captain and friend.

The secret to a long life is 14 year old Scandanavian blondes, preferably taken 2 at a time. {Didn't think this thread would turn into an homage to the Woodman!}

moltov		2006-08-17 02:22:43 PM

...and smoking pot.

A study of rastafarians who smoked their entire lives led them to being alive at extremely old ages.

Don't take my word for it, look it up.

Jane of the Jungle		2006-08-17 02:23:52 PM

dweir said:

I'm looking to discover a cure for death.

Screw a cure. Get me a vaccine! LOL

But don't bother until you've also vaccinated me against wrinkles, disease, a decline in sex drive, senility, and all the other stuff that makes people say "Why would I want to live to 100?" ... K?

lanky_d		2006-08-17 02:31:11 PM

Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death: one, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness.

jordan_lund		2006-08-17 02:35:41 PM

I'd like to live to be 100 just so I can look at any dumbass who wants to know "the secret" and tell them "Well, I make it a point to practice the art of self-love 3, sometimes 4 times a day."

Let's see them publish that in the local paper. :^)

Mr. Clarence Butterworth		2006-08-17 02:40:03 PM

What about Keith Richards? He's been dead since the 70s. Nobody told him, though.

pounddawg		2006-08-17 02:58:14 PM

I don't care who you are, how much money you have, or who your daddy is,

No one gets outta here alive.

"IF" is the middle word in "LIFE"

ChiliBoots		2006-08-17 03:10:10 PM

millera9: So I guess the secret is to have a stereotypical turn-of-the-century name.

Well, I guess that's kind of a given that 100 year olds have a typical 100 year old name;-)

In a 100 years from now a 100 year women will likely be named Kaitlin, Britney, etc; and the occasional guy lucky enough to make it will probably be named Tyler or something like that.

Self Defecating Humor		2006-08-17 03:18:20 PM

SretiCentV

lol @ the writer. Now Senility is contageous now?

Receptionist: Are you here for the Coping with Senility seminar?
Old Man: No, I'm here for Microwave Cookery... no... wait... Coping with Senility.

/ It would be unusual for that to be obscure is unusual.

Korovyov		2006-08-17 03:23:40 PM

Meh. Just need to find another flesh-vessel to possess, that's all.

BadKarma86		2006-08-18 12:02:09 AM

...a former educator who still drives her Buick around town.

What they fail to mention is that she putts around at like 15 mph.

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