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(KCCI)   If you left rubber cement on the seat of a mall restroom toilet, the Council Bluffs, Iowa police would like to have a word with you   ( kcci.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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7680 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2006 at 8:54 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2006-08-03 08:57:05 AM  
I don't think that's rubber cement.
 
2006-08-03 08:59:30 AM  
If you're stupid enough to sit on a public toilet seat without visually inspecting it first, Darwin would like to have a word with you.

On another note, in the early days of the public internet, i was bombarded with 'funny' emails that everyone used to send around. One was of funny 'true' scribblings on public rest room walls. One such scribbling was:

Don't bother hovering over the toilet seat. A healthy crab can jump three feet.

/whatever
 
2006-08-03 09:00:48 AM  
How do you not notice this jizz-like substance all over the seat before you sit down? When *I* sit on a public toilet, I carefully examine for ass particles and anything else that shouldn't be there BEFORE my skin touches it. I don't beleive rubber cement could be applied so well that you couldn't notice it.
 
2006-08-03 09:01:42 AM  
TEH JOOZ DID IT
 
2006-08-03 09:02:01 AM  
moltov
If you're stupid enough to sit on a public toilet seat without visually inspecting it first...

I second that. Always look before you sit.
 
2006-08-03 09:03:00 AM  
Now thats what I'd call.... A sticky situation
 
2006-08-03 09:05:09 AM  
Sue the mall, they provided the seat for the prank! Sue Everybody!
 
2006-08-03 09:07:23 AM  
Sue the rubber cement company!
 
2006-08-03 09:13:34 AM  
I blame a drunken Mel Gibson..
 
2006-08-03 09:13:58 AM  
Sue God*!

* in the event that God does not exist, refer to the next link in the chain of command, the Pope.
 
2006-08-03 09:15:08 AM  
ALWAYS put a barrier of TP between your ass and a public toilet. those who are too stupid to do this, deserve the pain and embarassment
 
2006-08-03 09:16:17 AM  
I always use a butt dolie or cover the seat with toilet paper
 
2006-08-03 09:20:10 AM  
Which word? And can I have mine 'To Go'?
 
2006-08-03 09:20:50 AM  
It was a 50-something year old woman, people! she probably doesn't have the greatest vision. Not to mention rubber cement is a bit cruel. In my day,(and I'm only 25), I used to put the little ketchup packets under the seat where the little.. thingys are, so they would asplode all on your legs and stuff. Completely harmless.
 
2006-08-03 09:25:02 AM  
Further investigation will show this injury to be self-inflicted.
 
2006-08-03 09:27:19 AM  
Stuff like this really chaps my ass.
 
2006-08-03 09:28:12 AM  
oryx - unlikely. The lawsuit potential is questionable (mall can't inspect their toilets every minute), and the humiliation of having paramedics unglue your ass with acetone (causing skin burns) would make the barrier to concocting this scheme very high.
 
2006-08-03 09:39:56 AM  
Sue the jews. They are the ones responsible!
 
2006-08-03 09:49:03 AM  
Council Bluffs nothing/ there is a good reason why everyone calls it Council-tucky.
 
2006-08-03 09:54:20 AM  
I hate public bathrooms. As if the general stench isn't bad enough, there are "pranksters" that dick around with the toilets. And even though I always look-- I'd be mad as hell if I had to wait for a turn, and then saw that the seat had glue on it (or unidentifiable stuff.) That poor woman.
 
2006-08-03 09:55:41 AM  
I just moved to Omaha** a couple of weeks ago and we had to go to Council Bluffs to pick up a package at the local Fed-Ex office. Just for giggles we stopped at this mall to see what it was like. Now, you folks taking about "toilet paper" and "covering the seat"...really, you are lucky that these folks aren't just dropping loads in the food court.

**Omaha, on the other hand, has been a totally pleasant suprise. Restaurants galore, and these folks LOVE beer.
 
2006-08-03 10:01:02 AM  
council bluffs--the armpit of omaha
 
2006-08-03 10:06:43 AM  
She said she hopes the police find whoever did it, so no one else has to go through what she did.

Because once this person is caught and punished this prank will never be pulled again.
 
2006-08-03 10:12:52 AM  
Guess I'll be stopping off at Home Depot on the way to the mall today. Not really.

/ Did she call one of the paramedics "sugar tits?"
 
2006-08-03 10:21:08 AM  
Yeah, I sit directly on public toilet seats, but only after giving them a vigorous scrubbing with the toilet paper.

They're hard plastic and completely non-absorbent, so that should be enough to get rid of everything. Or detect rubber cement.
 
2006-08-03 10:21:21 AM  
haha i dont have to sit to pee, lolz11!!!

shiat THAT ORANGE JUICE STUCK MY SHIFT KEY
 
2006-08-03 10:22:18 AM  
Pretty soon everybody will be carrying their own toilet seats.
 
2006-08-03 10:27:28 AM  
I highly doubt it was "rubber cement" that caused this. My guess would be cyanoacrylate (CA or super) glue.
 
2006-08-03 10:29:50 AM  
That's why you put tp on the seat as a buffer.
It soves 2 things. You don't have direct contact with the seat (probably doesn't do much, but I feel better) and 2 if there's no TP you'll know before you sit.
 
2006-08-03 10:31:04 AM  
2 things:

1) yeti: welcome to omaha. it gets really hot. it gets really cold. but all in all, it's not that bad. I'll buy you a "welcome" beer.

2) I live in omaha, but I can get to this mall quicker by crossing the river. yet... I never go to this mall. friggin rubber cement on my ass is the least of my worries in that place.
 
2006-08-03 10:36:21 AM  
A) Rubber cement dries if applied in a thin layer VERY quickly. It also sucks for glueing people to toilet seats because it peels off smooth surfaces and looks like boogers. (although it is good for glueing skin to skin if applied immediately). B) Acetone doesn't cause skin burns. It's in nail polish remover and is naturallyproduced by the body.


The glue she probably sat on was like some kind of home cement. Maybe liquid nails or some kind of nasty harsh glue.
 
2006-08-03 11:19:31 AM  
Heh... I did it.
 
2006-08-03 11:40:23 AM  
I prefer the "Bombs Away" method to sitting!

/"Target acquired"
//"Roger that"
///*SPLASH*
 
2006-08-03 12:11:44 PM  
When it comes to toilet related japery, I prefer the old cling film (saran wrap in America I think) over the bowl trick. Especially when you know someone else is suffering from explosive diarrhoea.
 
2006-08-03 12:11:54 PM  
rogue79 it could not have been superglue... that stuff drys really fast. my pals and I used to use it to glue quarters to the ground and watch people try to pick them up... it sounds stupid, but it's actually really funny to watch.

/the best is when you glue them in front of a phone booth
 
2006-08-03 12:16:00 PM  
FYI. It's known thru-out the region as Couciltucky.
 
2006-08-03 12:18:40 PM  
scaremonger

Could have been Gorilla Glue then....

Gluing quarters....reminds me of Empire Records
 
2006-08-03 12:20:07 PM  
after applying rubber cement, carefully align ass-gasket.

press firmly with ass.

shiat.

flush.

repeat as necessary.
 
2006-08-03 12:35:05 PM  
I just moved to Omaha** a couple of weeks ago and we had to go to Council Bluffs to pick up a package at the local Fed-Ex office. Just for giggles we stopped at this mall to see what it was like. Now, you folks taking about "toilet paper" and "covering the seat"...really, you are lucky that these folks aren't just dropping loads in the food court.

**Omaha, on the other hand, has been a totally pleasant suprise. Restaurants galore, and these folks LOVE beer.


Glad you like it. It's not as bad as the perception would lead you to believe.

/slams a few beers
 
2006-08-03 01:31:36 PM  
BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
 
2006-08-03 01:40:34 PM  
Should've used one of those ass-gaskets
 
2006-08-03 01:57:05 PM  
moltov already beat me to it...but yeah...who sits on a public toilet without checking it out first?
My wife says women's toilets are nasty...as many 'uppity' chics won't even sit on the seat out of germaphobia, and end up pissing all over the seat.
 
2006-08-03 02:02:34 PM  
Sounds like super glue to me. That stuff evaporates pretty fast either she did it herself and is looking for a lawsuit or or she bumped into the person that did it on their way out of the stall.
 
2006-08-03 02:16:36 PM  
...but the cowboy's a goner.
 
HTH
2006-08-03 03:26:10 PM  
Amazing. I think of it here, it happens there. What's next, telekinesis?
 
2006-08-03 03:27:57 PM  
The demoncrats did it.
 
2006-08-03 10:12:32 PM  
pretty much the only bathroom "shananagins" I do is grab a HUGGGEEEEE amount of toiletpaper(so large that it is the size ofa softball/dodgeball when wet) wet it, wait for some one to use the stalls, wait for them to be 'settled' (i.e. sitting down, pants around ankles, pinching one off etc) and do a hook shot on to em... hilarious cause they cant do anything....
 
2006-08-03 10:19:44 PM  
Welcome to Omaha and stay the hell out of Council-tucky.

/Unless you're buying gas.
 
2006-08-04 12:09:43 AM  
Geez!

I finally put the seat down for this biatch and I'm wanted for assault? WTF?
 
2006-08-04 12:44:18 PM  
B) Acetone doesn't cause skin burns. It's in nail polish remover and is naturallyproduced by the body.

nail polish remover is a very gentle & diluted kind of acetone. raw acetone will eat through 1/4 inch hard plastic within 10 seconds. skin even faster.. so be careful around acetone.
 
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