I LOL'd.

What the heck did these numbskulls expect them to do? Cuddle each other to death?

Worst. Evil. Plot. Ever.

Will someone finally think of the wombats?

"I paid $300 bucks for a pair of eucalyptus-leaf eating retards who just stare at each other with a dull glare."

And he's calling the wombats retards?

a-holes

wombat...fighting....ring...


excuse me what?

It's a joke story. Should have satire tag.

And I realised that without reading the small print, which says exactly that BTW.

Because that's how great I am.

There is a headline you don't see nearly enough

Wombats are hard to kill due to their rump-shield.

Anyone else remember Wombat-Man from the old Nintendo Power cartoon?

Or am I the only puerile retard....

Unavailable for Comment.

George Bush hates wombats.

"I paid $300 bucks for a pair of eucalyptus-leaf eating retards who just stare at each other with a dull glare."

My favorite quote.

Wombats can be nasty sometimes, you do NOT want to be in their way when they get pissed off. Tough vicious little buggers. And oh yeah the story is clearly satire.

Should have gone with the koalas, mate.

Porkchop porkchop,
Greasy greasy.
We kick their asses
farkin' easy easy.

Go Wombats!

Also...

Interviewed by Toledo Tales, Kensington expressed remorse at his actions.

[...]a pair of eucalyptus-leaf eating retards[...]"

"Yeah, I tried poking 'em with sticks, yelling at 'em, and dumping acid on their heads[...]"

"Good riddance, I say about the smelly bastards."

Yep...I'll bet he's really remorseful...about being caught being a farktard, anyway.

"Or am I the only puerile retard...."

No, here's a hale and hearty welcome, my brother, for you are home!!!
/takes one to know one..........
//.........slashy dots

fezziwig: What the heck did these numbskulls expect them to do? Cuddle each other to death?


The linked site is a lame Onion wannabe. Hasn't deserved the front page of Fark yet, but has show up at least twice, so I'm thinking that they must be paid links.

S-A-T-I-R-E.

eucalyptus-leaf eating retards

That would be a koala.
Wombat prefer grass.

Program User: The linked site is a lame Onion wannabe. Hasn't deserved the front page of Fark yet, but has show up at least twice, so I'm thinking that they must be paid links.


While this rather invalidates my second comment, I stand by my first.



Those are the eyes of a monstrous killing machine.

Holy Toledo people are gullible.

a2pfunk: Holy Toledo people are gullible.


It's not a matter of being gullible.

It's a matter of the human race being bat-shiat crazy.

/Wombat Combat?
//Heh.
///To bed with me!

Should have gone with Drop Bears.....now those things are vicious.

There is a noise of ancient machinery which has become activated somewhere under the ground beneath you...After a few moments, there is a curious rustling sound amongst the vegetation nearby and a tiny sign unexpectedly pops up just behind the funnel. It says:

"Thankyou for your generosity;
"You have given that a wombat
"May romp again in peace..."

There is the sound of tuneless music somewhat like the British National Anthem being played on a didgery-do on a warped cassette buried in the ground. You stand to attention and salute.

Quoted from the bottom of the page

"This is a satirical newspaper, and these stories are fictional. Toledo Tales® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized."

It's believable because it's about someone in Toledo. While the article is obviously satire, I wouldn't be suprised to find a similer premise in a real news story.

Interviewed by Toledo Tales, Kensington expressed remorse at his actions. "The bastard who sold them to me said they were vicious killers," said Kensington. "I paid $300 bucks for a pair of eucalyptus-leaf eating retards who just stare at each other with a dull glare."

Huh, that ain't remorse, that's being pissed because they didn't work as advertised. Besides, if he was really remorseful, he wouldn't have considered trying to get them to fight to start with.

He's not going down without a fight..

Hey even though that story is a farce. Wombats are deadly. Colbert would rank them under bears as a threat.

the comment underneath the story is hilarious

/awwwww, marsupial!

They can have my wombat when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Toledo is actually far more funny than this, trust me, I lived there for 27 years and want to go back.

//transplanted to the South
///Hates it
////Not nearly rust-belty enough
//Slash-ahoy!

"The bastard who sold them to me said they were vicious killers," said Kensington. "I paid $300 bucks for a pair of eucalyptus-leaf eating retards who just stare at each other with a dull glare."


Bahahahaha, sucked in, mate!

Wolverines would have been much more believable.

And fun!

The name of the person commenting on the bottom of the article is funny as well: Honest Al's Used Wombat Sales. Good Stuff.

...acid on their heads...


WOOoooOoOooOOhhHH Jimmy, I had to MUCH!

no Mortal-Wombat jokes :-(

Klingerrrrrrrrr, get in here, NOW!

I call shenanigans

One of the wombats must've TALKED!