FARK.com: (2199851) Asteroid to come closer to Earth than our own communications satellites, rumored to be Vogon surveying crew

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(NY Daily News)		Asteroid to come closer to Earth than our own communications satellites, rumored to be Vogon surveying crew (nydailynews.com)		171
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20187 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jul 2006 at 1:12 PM | Favorite | share:

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Riche		2006-07-29 10:33:45 AM

Isn't that about the same time Social Security is supposed to go Bankrupt?

Meh. I'd rather die in an Asteroid impact than get converted to Soylent Green.

superdolfan1		2006-07-29 10:39:50 AM

Is there good news in this asteroid doomsday scenario? Yes and no. "Apophis, if it hits, will not contribute to global warning," Tyson predicted. "It'll just wipe out the entire West Coast of North America."

Al Gore said to be very relieved that this will not contribute to "global warming". Feels bad about West Coast, but, hey, stuff happens.

FF Mac		2006-07-29 10:45:29 AM

Now may be the time to start investing in that beachfront property in Nevada.

SpeshilEdjukashin		2006-07-29 10:46:56 AM

Hahaha, owned!

/East coaster

PacersJAM3s		2006-07-29 10:50:43 AM

If they say it only has a 1 in 38,000 chance of hitting the Earth, how can they say that it will hit the West Coast of the US with accuracy?

Heroic Poser		2006-07-29 10:52:33 AM

Ya, but on JULY 4TH, we fight back!

SoiledDude		2006-07-29 10:59:23 AM

Apophis (named for the Egyptian god of death and darkness)

I wonder if that was named before or after they knew if was coming so close to the earth?

MorningBreath		2006-07-29 11:02:17 AM

I can deflect it, but I am not sure I want to.

gilgigamesh		2006-07-29 11:10:48 AM

PacersJAM3s

If they say it only has a 1 in 38,000 chance of hitting the Earth, how can they say that it will hit the West Coast of the US with accuracy?

They can't. It was illustrative of the level of damage resulting from an impact. It could hit anywhere.

Even if it hits in the middle of a body of water it will have a similar level of damage from tsunami, I do believe.

japhy		2006-07-29 11:12:05 AM

I'm more impressed that Tyson pronounced all those big words correctly.

SoiledDude		2006-07-29 11:25:34 AM

I'll be 70...probably still working to pay off student loans, in a hateful, spiteful job, in a van down by the river, eating Alpo for dinner....

So I'll probably welcome our Volgon Surveying Crew Overlords...

CheekyMunky		2006-07-29 11:25:57 AM

Noooo, not the blue states!

log_jammin		2006-07-29 11:31:01 AM

Shazbot!

You guys are screwed...

JerseyTim		2006-07-29 11:34:26 AM

Asteroid to come closer to Earth than our own communications satellites

That's just sad that our own communications satellites can't be as close to us as a complete stranger asteroid. I'm not sure if this relationship is going to work.

brazil		2006-07-29 11:35:29 AM

so stop worrying about running out of oil and global warming

party on dudes!

eddyatwork		2006-07-29 11:36:09 AM

HA! HA! You west coasters are screwed!!1!

superdolfan1		2006-07-29 11:44:55 AM

CheekyMunky Noooo, not the blue states!

No worries. The blue states on the other side should be safe.

/Will the left coast blue states be known as the black states after impact? And will Jessee Jackson object to the term?

strangeguitar		2006-07-29 12:18:34 PM

I'll be fine. I know some Dentrassi who will let me on board.

Ennuipoet		2006-07-29 12:24:58 PM

So this is it then, we are going to die?

/Had a very good plan, but unfortunately it entailed being on the other side of the airlock

CougarJeff		2006-07-29 12:50:55 PM

Hey it's that guy that hates Pluto!

2xhelix		2006-07-29 12:57:43 PM

There's no point in acting all surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display in your local planning department on Alpha Centauri for fifty of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now.

CravenMorehead		2006-07-29 01:17:01 PM

"on Friday the 13th in April, Apophis is a certainty to come closer to Earth than our communications satellites"

That's a helluva coincidence.

CygnusDarius		2006-07-29 01:18:24 PM

RiptideInvestigator		2006-07-29 01:18:31 PM

No! No! No!

I just read Lucifer's Hammer!

Neurocrat		2006-07-29 01:19:00 PM

They've defeated Apophis before. They can do it again.

brynaldo		2006-07-29 01:19:12 PM

Don't worry.

I'm sure they rounded up somewhere, and over the years the predicted impact site will move closer to China.

Shut........UP		2006-07-29 01:19:54 PM

"It'll just wipe out the entire West Coast of North America."

I can't tell, is that an argument for or against doing something...

carterhawk001		2006-07-29 01:20:12 PM

Unavailable for comment

WayToBlue		2006-07-29 01:21:04 PM

I just came to read what 2xhelix posted. I'll show myself out.

Skip Whiffle		2006-07-29 01:21:57 PM

If they say it only has a 1 in 38,000 chance of hitting the Earth, how can they say that it will hit the West Coast of the US with accuracy?

Yes, I think the location was completely speculative.

Irregardless		2006-07-29 01:22:53 PM

As long as the Vogons don't blast their poetry through our communications satellites I'm OK with it.

Drummer		2006-07-29 01:23:56 PM

***************************************************

WHAT IS THIS??????

On the main Fark page, on the right-bottom-corner of the banner ad... there is a 1 pixel add for Vonage!!

WHAT IS THIS!! IS FARK / VONAGE TRACKING US??????

***************************************************

CygnusDarius		2006-07-29 01:24:08 PM

God, Stargate is such a good show.

lsc78		2006-07-29 01:25:21 PM

hhaha that "science article: is a fuking ad for a tv show

blahpers		2006-07-29 01:25:42 PM

If it hits, the impact would equal the force of 100 nuclear bombs, said Tyson, the new host of "Nova scienceNOW."

Man, I hate phony measurements like this. That's like saying "the force of 100 rocks" without mentioning whether said rocks are sand-sized or mountain-sized. They could have just said "X megatons" or whatever.

RiptideInvestigator		2006-07-29 01:26:31 PM

Beware of the Leopard.

major_accuracy		2006-07-29 01:26:51 PM

All I need is my shock rifle. And this ashtray...that's all I need to take out this asteroid. And this coat rack.

2Ah		2006-07-29 01:27:17 PM

Buh bye, and thanks for the fish!

/damn things didnt work anyways, still uno-lingo

spyderqueen		2006-07-29 01:27:23 PM

Apophis nothing, that was Anubis's plot.

Tbonefence		2006-07-29 01:27:47 PM

So is it ok if I panic now? Just a little bit?
I mean, we can't even send a rover to Mars and keep within the same system of measurement, how are we supposed to deflect it away (as opposed to say deflecting it into our path sooner).
So yeah, I'm gonna start digging a deeeeeep hole to hide in...

Pesky_Humans		2006-07-29 01:28:18 PM

There was an entire program on one of the science channels recently where they discussed this asteroid. In order for there to be an impact, the asteroid would have to pass through a "keyhole" that seeemed impossibly tiny to me, particularly when you are talking about the scale of space and the size of the various bodies. I wish I could remember exactly how big, but they were measuring it in the hundreds of yards.

/lives in LA ©

bobbooty		2006-07-29 01:29:53 PM

Use this spiffy calculator to enter criteria about an object striking the earth and see how damaging the effects will be, based on distance.

belowme		2006-07-29 01:30:28 PM

OH NOES!!! EVERYBODY PANIC!

Mr Squirrel		2006-07-29 01:30:39 PM

If they say it only has a 1 in 38,000 chance of hitting the Earth, how can they say that it will hit the West Coast of the US with accuracy?

They can't. It's pure sensationalism.

Skip Whiffle		2006-07-29 01:30:42 PM

So Drummer, are you going to visit all the threads and drop your spam bomb?

You're thread jacking. Stop it.

bring_it		2006-07-29 01:31:40 PM

'There's no point acting all surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display in your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for fifty of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now.'

Shameless cut and paste.

farkII		2006-07-29 01:32:26 PM

Time to bury my Britannica in the septic tank!

Snarfangel		2006-07-29 01:33:58 PM

With just a tiny bit of diversion, we could probably make it hit China or the Middle East.

Lord_Byrne		2006-07-29 01:36:10 PM

Let's see, if "it only has a 1 in 38,000 chance of hitting the Earth" and I have yet to win anything decent in the lottery I reckon we're safe for the time being.

poepsel		2006-07-29 01:36:23 PM

"Apophis, if it hits, will not contribute to global warning," Tyson predicted. "It'll just wipe out the entire West Coast of North America."

In other news the Bush Administration and House Majority leader Denny Hastert propose asteroid welcomming project, see "opportunity" for democracy to spread.

"If the asteroid can be captured, collected on the space that is now the desolate Democratic stronghold of California it could be a real chance for change," Hastert said.

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