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(ABC)   Jelly Belly rewards the one millionth visitor to its factory with his or her weight in jellybeans. Unfortunately, it turned out to be Fattie Day at the ol' sugar mine   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 163
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30204 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jul 2006 at 9:00 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-07-27 04:55:59 PM
That was an abysmally written article.
 
2006-07-27 06:09:10 PM
Dude, at 288 denying that last 10 pounds is a little sad but obvious. He'll probably gain ten pounds from picking through and eating all the green and yellow jelly beans.

/loves the green and yellow
//hates purple and black
 
2006-07-27 06:16:07 PM
Fattie Day? They were all high?


you can't make me RTFA
 
2006-07-27 07:03:41 PM
bakedtater_2000: Dude, at 288 denying that last 10 pounds is a little sad but obvious.

In sizing Lively up before announcing him the lucky winner, workers rolled out 12 cases of candy, each weighing 24 pounds

maybe he really does only weigh 278? i can't tell from the pic
 
2006-07-27 07:18:03 PM
Was it 288 jellybeans or 288 pounds of jellybeans? The headline says one thing, the article says something else...

/I would have probably finished 'em in a week...
 
2006-07-27 08:23:15 PM
We have not heard the last of this story, in 6 months Jelly Belly will be indicted for negligent homicide after this guy gorges himself to death.

What will the headline be?
 
2006-07-27 08:56:43 PM
"Fork it out to my family and kids," said Lively, a steel worker, when asked what he would do with his prize. "None of the guys at work are getting any."

What a dick. I'm glad I work with people who are more generous than you, Fatso. And yes, I'm gonna finish these fries.
 
2006-07-27 09:03:13 PM
elchip
Was it 288 jellybeans or 288 pounds of jellybeans? The headline says one thing, the article says something else...

obviously, the jelly beans weigh one pound each.

/obviously
 
2006-07-27 09:04:23 PM
Would they do the same at the fois gras factory?

Or the vodak distillary?
 
2006-07-27 09:06:12 PM
wtf is a vodak distillary?
 
2006-07-27 09:06:48 PM
I loves me my vodak
 
2006-07-27 09:07:12 PM
This reminds me of the time I was the one millionth person to donate at the local sperm bank ...
 
2006-07-27 09:07:22 PM
Sassy Sours are the bomb.
 
2006-07-27 09:07:49 PM
It's where vodak is distilled.
 
2006-07-27 09:08:15 PM
I can see the "followup" tag now....
Man sues Jelly Belly after lapsing into diabetic shock from eating 288 lbs. of jelly beans.
 
2006-07-27 09:08:22 PM
images.google.com

I think it's a sports drink?
 
2006-07-27 09:08:24 PM
But what IS vodak? Didn't we study this in Russia?

/buttered popcorn jelly bellies are WHERE IT'S AT
 
2006-07-27 09:08:27 PM
sirjonny has had too much vodak this evening.
 
2006-07-27 09:08:52 PM
Lively, a first-time visitor to the factory, stared at the stack of bean-filled boxes, weighing one-seventh of a ton.

That last little bit made me think. What if we listed people's weights in tons? Hmmmm....... Kinda like clothing manufacturer's changing a women's 8 to a 4 in the past 10 years.
 
2006-07-27 09:09:02 PM
ASBOTUL VODAK
 
2006-07-27 09:09:51 PM
From TFA:
The factory reached the million-visitor milestone in exactly five years... It draws about 200,000 visitors annually


no farking shiat
 
2006-07-27 09:12:06 PM
Oh my jesus i haven't laughed this much in a while...


Vodak???? amazing.
 
2006-07-27 09:12:58 PM
mmm vodak. Perfect for making screwdivres
 
2006-07-27 09:18:04 PM
What? JELLYBEANS? ME WANTS THEM JELLYBEANS!

k43.pbase.com

/snort
 
2006-07-27 09:19:13 PM
www.photodump.com
 
2006-07-27 09:19:16 PM
IN RUSSIA VODAK DRINK YOU
 
2006-07-27 09:20:16 PM
Sltocayhnai vodak?
Grye Gosoe vodak?
Mr. Botnos vodak?

I'm pretty sure that Vodak is the ruler of the Shi'ar...
 
2006-07-27 09:20:30 PM
You could make a good white russnia with some of that vodak.
 
2006-07-27 09:21:09 PM
Holy fark, Darth Darth Binks, that's the first time I'm actually laughed my ass off at the ha ha guy.
 
2006-07-27 09:21:29 PM
i70.photobucket.com
 
2006-07-27 09:21:53 PM
Vodak is the main ingredient in matrinis.
 
2006-07-27 09:22:58 PM
I've been on that tour. Got the hilarity of a tourguide that was (and probably still is) as queer as a 3-dollar bill. Picture Big Ghey Al from South Park with a paper hat and a white apron. FYI the facility people tour isn't even the production plant--it's a warehouse where they show multimedia about the company. Visitors sit on a mini-train that circles the perimeter, while "Al" shouts out an occasional "It's just SUPER!!!
 
2006-07-27 09:26:07 PM
img104.imageshack.us
 
2006-07-27 09:28:56 PM
Followup story to come: "Jelly Belly sued over diabetes link."
 
2006-07-27 09:29:49 PM
Followup cliche to come: "Yoru god wanst vodak."
 
2006-07-27 09:30:00 PM
More high fructose corn syrup for all!

Poison it is.
 
2006-07-27 09:30:23 PM
So he went to the jellybean factory on his 41st birthday? That seems kinda odd.
 
2006-07-27 09:30:33 PM
He doesn't look morbidly obese though, kind of like a big tough guy. Unfortunately, after eating all those jelly beans, he'd be that. :P

I wonder if he can sell them? Maybe on Ebay? I'd get very sick if I ate all those beans. Probably will put me off jelly beans all my life. haha
 
2006-07-27 09:30:43 PM
man i tells ya i can toss back the cranberry vodaks!!! my favorite vodak is kettle one...its smooth....i think i'm part rusky...
 
2006-07-27 09:33:08 PM
Lively, a first-time visitor to the factory, stared at the stack of bean-filled boxes, weighing one-seventh of a ton.

Haha! Sounds like a great visual to drive home exactly how overweight you actually are. I do hope that his coworkers give him hell for not sharing with them. He does sound like a jerk.

As for the ten pound decrepency, well, that could be explained by how much his clothing weighs, I suppose. My
threads weight in at five pounds (I know because I am pretty
compulsive about weighing myself), and thats just light slacks, tee shirt, and sneakers. If he were in a full suit,
especially given his size, his clothes could weigh in that heavy.
 
2006-07-27 09:33:59 PM
Cue the pic of the half-ton man laying on his own boobies in 3...2...1...


/me runs
 
2006-07-27 09:34:35 PM
farkingbubbler: FYI the facility people tour isn't even the production plant--it's a warehouse where they show multimedia about the company. Visitors sit on a mini-train that circles the perimeter

Hmph. Till you said that, I hadn't paid enough attention to TFA and assumed it was the (local-to-me) factory in Vallejo, CA. I've been on that tour and (1) you see lots of stuff being made and (2) you walk -- quite a bit. Though they do keep giving you samples on the way.

The popularity of Jelly Bellies: the only good thing to come out of the Reagan administration.

["Belly Flops" -- big cheap bags of reject Jelly Bellies -- for the win!]
 
2006-07-27 09:35:14 PM
The dude could be 6'9", the camera takes off 2' or so.
 
2006-07-27 09:35:51 PM
someone tally up the vodaks jokes...their our alot of them...

;-)
 
2006-07-27 09:38:37 PM
img212.imageshack.us
 
2006-07-27 09:40:07 PM
I honestly forgot this thread is about a guy winning jelly beans.
 
2006-07-27 09:42:08 PM
I'm pretty sure 1 in 3 of the assorted jelly bellies are vomit flavoured.

/nasty shiat
//yes, flavoured
 
2006-07-27 09:42:13 PM
i70.photobucket.com
 
2006-07-27 09:46:27 PM
So... he's not going to share?

You know what they say about people not sharing.

img212.imageshack.us
 
2006-07-27 09:47:01 PM
24 pounds per case times 12 cases = 288 pounds

he really did weigh 278, but they rounded up to the nearest case.

/can't believe I really RTFA
 
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