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(ICNetwork)   Nanotch "dog" will revolutionize bomb-sniffing technology, vastly increase the number of times an airport screener comes at you with a rubber glove in a windowless room because your idiot nephew fired a cap gun near you a week ago   (icwales.icnetwork.co.uk) divider line 54
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2562 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2006 at 9:51 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-07-25 11:59:53 PM
nanotch? is that like biatch?

/drunk
 
2006-07-26 01:17:24 AM
img2.imagepile.net

Nooooooo!
 
2006-07-26 09:56:33 AM
1) Get an atomizer with cap gun powder and secretly pepper the floor of waiting line areas in the before-checkin areas.
2) Lots of people walk through the area kicking up the material.
3) Mass delays as every single person gets screened as positive.
4) Profit!
 
2006-07-26 09:59:16 AM
img95.imageshack.us

not impressed
 
2006-07-26 09:59:42 AM
Your dog wants you to spread your cheeks.
 
2006-07-26 10:01:05 AM
I'm such a retard. I stared at "Nanotch" for several minutes before I realized it was supposed to read "Nanotech." I need some coffee.
 
2006-07-26 10:01:58 AM
crypticsatellite

I think "Nanotch" is some sort of Eskimo tribe.

/am I thinking of Nanook?
 
2006-07-26 10:02:10 AM
"Fido comes out of his doggie house, curls his long legs beneath him, and jumps over the fence around the yard before he has remembered that he is not capable of jumping over it. This contradiction is lost on him, though; as a dog, introspection is not one of his strong points."

/obscure?
 
2006-07-26 10:02:20 AM
Nice headline, Smitty. I LOL'ed.
 
2006-07-26 10:02:38 AM
Paging the letter "e." I repeat, paging the letter "e." Please report to Fark.com thread 2192413 at your earliest convenience. Thank you.
 
2006-07-26 10:02:49 AM
At the airport in Wales, they search you doggy-style.
 
2006-07-26 10:04:51 AM
Nanotch? Man I can't keep up with all this 1337-speak.
 
2006-07-26 10:06:08 AM
Great headline
 
2006-07-26 10:07:20 AM
your dog wants C4
 
2006-07-26 10:07:42 AM
Nanotch from Nunavut
 
cdo
2006-07-26 10:08:31 AM
so they can electronically reproduce a dog's ability to smell? that's crazy. and why put it in a robot dog... why not make it a robotic bear, or a robotic lemur
 
2006-07-26 10:09:10 AM
Your dog wants...a cavity search?
 
2006-07-26 10:09:22 AM
so, like, they could invent a nanosomething to put in the dogs to get them to mind their own #&%?! business....you know...do dog things, be amusing like they used to...

then, like, they could make one to cure paranoia in idiots who buy all of this terrorist shiat, right?

and one for those self important people at the airport that would make them go get a real job and leave the rest of us alone ....
 
2006-07-26 10:10:06 AM
www.thewall.de

Dog?
 
2006-07-26 10:12:39 AM
Hell, I read where they delayed a soldier in full uniform returning home from Iraq because his shoes set off their gunpowder detectors.

Gee, ya think?
 
2006-07-26 10:13:57 AM
 
2006-07-26 10:15:40 AM
Beware there are lot of tech that is going to contunie doing this. Nothing you can do about it, just be aware.
 
2006-07-26 10:19:36 AM
Your dog wants a frickin' laser.
 
2006-07-26 10:22:12 AM
Time to ban cap guns then?

Bon_Scott Your dog wants a frickin' laser.

The sharks have a monopoly on teh lasers.
 
2006-07-26 10:26:46 AM
This will probably be the next wave in drug sniffing technology as well.

I remember reading somewhere that a sniffing device can used only if it is able to detect one thing and only one thing. I believe it has to do with some judges ruling on using drug detection dogs as it relates to the 4th Amendment
 
2006-07-26 10:28:37 AM
...vastly increase the number of times an airport screener comes at you with a rubber glove in a windowless room because your idiot nephew fired a cap gun near you a week ago

Or, as the case may be, fertilized your lawn a few weeks ago.

/Didn't actually get the glove
//Did miss my flight
 
2006-07-26 10:29:48 AM
I'm too lazy to read all the comments, but the gunpowder thing is a myth.

I fired several hundred rounds through a Swiss K submachine gun and a few clips through a Desert Eagle hours before getting onto a plan in Las Vegas with no problems. And yes, they do have those little chamber machines you walk through that blow puffs of air on you.
 
2006-07-26 10:30:35 AM
My wife and I just got back from 2 weeks in California and 4 ups and downs on airplanes. On the first up my wife was discovered to have a butane lighter in her purse (it was her travelling purse and the ligher was in a pocket she hadn't checked). They confiscated the lighter, but at each of the next 3 flights we seemed to get very special (and good) attention. We decided that the airport people (homeland s. and airlines) and us figured to be undercover check-out-the-security quality investigators. It was just amazing how nice folks were acting towards us. And in fairness, if you were picking the guy you thought was the U.S. Marshall on the plane, you would probably pick me every time. We both agreed that next time we fly we will be sure to hide a butane ligher somewhere in the carry on luggage again.
 
2006-07-26 10:32:26 AM
sultros: This will probably be the next wave in drug sniffing technology as well.

Oh, it will. Having trace amounts of "questionable" material on your person, whether you knowingly handled them or not (e.g., you sat on your friend's couch which he sits on while toking up when you aren't there) will become less and less relevant.
 
2006-07-26 10:42:01 AM
i49.photobucket.com

/Mason, Mason, Mason...
//Peanut Poppie?
 
2006-07-26 10:43:29 AM
The Nanotch people take offense to this silly headline.
 
2006-07-26 10:48:26 AM
Khoja: /obscure?

When will people learn that nothing, absolutely nothing, is obscure on Fark.

If it's something you and your cousin made up in a treehouse on May 28th, 1982, and didn't write down before you went inside to play "Yar's Revenge", then maybe. If your cousin's not a TotalFarker.

/Music, movies, microcode, and high-speed pizza delivery.
 
2006-07-26 10:50:10 AM
Rat Things Rock

/workin' for uncle enzo
 
2006-07-26 10:52:33 AM
nerium
"I have illegals in my bottom."
 
2006-07-26 10:54:38 AM
Lullaby, werd. Banana Bonanzas on me!

/...gonna kill that farkin' baby.
 
2006-07-26 10:57:08 AM
Wait a minute.....you got a room with no windows?
 
2006-07-26 10:58:08 AM
I thought that was a Snow Crash reference.
 
2006-07-26 11:02:56 AM
So is the Nanotech Trifecta in play?
 
2006-07-26 11:06:29 AM
The mechanical Hound slept but did not sleep, lived but did not live in its gently humming, gently vibrating, softly illuminated kennel back in a dark corner of the fire house. The dim light of one in the morning, the moonlight from the open sky framed through the great window, touched here and there on the brass and copper and the steel of the faintly trembling beast. Light flickered on bits of ruby glass and on sensitive capillary hairs in the nylon-brushed nostrils of the creature that quivered gently, its eight legs spidered under it on rubber padded paws.

Nights when things got dull, which was every night, the men slid down the brass poles, and set the ticking combinations of the olfactory system of the hound and let loose rats in the fire house areaway. Three seconds later the game was done, the rat caught half across the areaway, gripped in gentle paws while a four-inch hollow steel needle plunged down from the proboscis of the hound to inject massive jolts of morphine or procaine.
 
2006-07-26 11:17:31 AM
derekste is also looking for a spare "e". Unless he actually did get on a plan in Los Vegas.

/At least he didn't get on a tran in Los Vegas.
 
2006-07-26 11:24:24 AM
This thread needs more Snow Crash.

/fear the Deliverator!
 
2006-07-26 11:28:21 AM
www.gamasutra.com

unavailable for comment
 
Ant
2006-07-26 11:33:26 AM
Crown Of Negativity: 1) Get an atomizer with cap gun powder and secretly pepper the floor of waiting line areas in the before-checkin areas.
2) Lots of people walk through the area kicking up the material.
3) Mass delays as every single person gets screened as positive.
4) Profit!


5) Get arrested for "terrorism" (everything is terrorism nowadays, didn't you know?)
 
2006-07-26 11:33:44 AM
Albino Sasquatch: I think "Nanotch" is some sort of Eskimo tribe.

/am I thinking of Nanook?


likelyculprit: I'm such a retard. I stared at "Nanotch" for several minutes before I realized it was supposed to read "Nanotech." I need some coffee.

Exactly. I was thinking I wonder what that breed looks like. It must be Alaskan or Native American.
www.mohicanpress.com
Chingachgook?
 
2006-07-26 11:34:48 AM
Crown Of Negativity: 1) Get an atomizer with cap gun powder and secretly pepper the floor of waiting line areas in the before-checkin areas.

Ummm. After the anthrax and ricin fears, I think that spraying anything in an airport would be a very very bad idea.
 
2006-07-26 11:45:03 AM
The mechanical Hound slept but did not sleep, lived but did not live in its gently humming, gently vibrating, softly illuminated kennel back in a dark corner of the fire house. The dim light of one in the morning, the moonlight from the open sky framed through the great window, touched here and there on the brass and copper and the steel of the faintly trembling beast. Light flickered on bits of ruby glass and on sensitive capillary hairs in the nylon-brushed nostrils of the creature that quivered gently, its eight legs spidered under it on rubber padded paws.
 
2006-07-26 11:53:51 AM
Can't believe this hasn't been said:

Nanotech dog wants a very small steak.

/Do you think Nanotech dog & Ceiling cat would make a good cartoon premise?
 
2006-07-26 12:05:26 PM
the last time I flew through Spokane, a group of old ladies tested positive for GSR. It turns out that EXPENSIVE facial powders (nordstroms or better), can create a false positive. These very nice old ladies were thoroughly searched to ensure my safety.

On a side note, it is a bad thing to ask your father to help load your bags if he was making homemade bullets previously. Yep, I set it off.
 
2006-07-26 12:13:27 PM
static.flickr.com

Snootch?
 
2006-07-26 12:18:45 PM
Terrific. I already get stopped by the current detectors every time I come back from a ski trip. (dynamite is used for avalanche control). Now they can just do it every time I walk through an airport.

/I Bring my own lube to airports now.
 
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