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(SFGate)   "That's it, baby," Windows coos, stroking your calves, working its way up to your hard drive. "Baby, I'll do it so good you'll think you're using a new MacBook Pro in a wireless cafe in Paris." (SFW)   (sfgate.com) divider line 40
    More: Amusing  
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2115 clicks; posted to Geek » on 14 Jul 2006 at 4:45 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2006-07-14 03:53:34 PM
Mark Morford really, really needs to get laid.
 
2006-07-14 04:12:23 PM
Yeah, that's my dream, to be in a smelly French city using a machine that pisses me off.

/hates laptops
|dislikes Macs
\likes all forms of slashies
 
2006-07-14 04:13:15 PM
Uhm... wow.

Apple shouldn't be so smug -- they release security updates about once a month, too. It's just that the Mac OS X bugs aren't very well publicized.

/mac owner
//never using a windows machine again
 
2006-07-14 04:18:42 PM
Nobody writes viruses or spyware for Mac because there's nothing to steal from graphic designers, they're already broke.
 
2006-07-14 04:55:44 PM
Hmm, thats my kinda erotica...
 
2006-07-14 04:57:07 PM
Damn it subby now I'm all hot and bothered!
 
2006-07-14 05:02:53 PM
This is why ppl hate mac goons.
 
2006-07-14 05:03:53 PM
WTF is with that headline? It has seriously repulsed me away from the article.
 
2006-07-14 05:04:43 PM
xtex: Uhm... wow.

Apple shouldn't be so smug


Apple didn't right the article. Some lame SF Gate columnist did.
 
2006-07-14 05:08:56 PM
WTF is with that headline? It has seriously repulsed me away from the article.

If you didn't like the headline, you definitely don't want to read the article.

That article single-handedly assured at least ten years before I will even consider becoming a Mac person. I'd rather deal with computer issues than whatever weird brand of issues that writer is coping with.
 
2006-07-14 05:18:03 PM
ArcadianRefugee: likes all forms of slashies


The '|' is caled a Pipe and is not a slashie
 
2006-07-14 05:18:42 PM
Also, I can't spell called
 
2006-07-14 05:21:48 PM
Oh FFS this article pissed me off. It really shows the author's ignorance
 
2006-07-14 05:27:25 PM
"Nobody writes viruses or spyware for Mac because there's nothing to steal from graphic designers, they're already broke."

actually, they dont because its not worth the effort, considering when legitimate security professionals sit down to try to write attack code for Macs, the update to fix it comes out 2 weeks before the code does, hence wasted hours of work. the reason there isnt malware for mac isnt because people dont want to attack graphic designers (who by the way, DO make a lot of money, so do banks, so do special effects companies, so do musicians, etc, all people who use mac), its because its simply not worth the effort. even if you CAN figure out a way to code something malicious (which is unlikely given a solid, open-source base like BSD), by the time you release it to try to cause some havoc its already been fixed.

/anti-mac people are the only people worse than mac fanatics.
//uses both, and believe me, for a power user there is nothing worse than using a mac, then moving to the PC we call Frankenstein to try to get something done, its like walking into heaven only to find out God needs you to do him a favor and stuff 5 pounds of bologna into a 1 pound bag, and on location in the wonderful hell of Windows XP Service Pack 2 This Time With Only 17,000 Holes and Bugs and 18,000,000,000 Lines of Unneccessary, Bloated, Sloppy Code, Professional Edition™.
 
2006-07-14 05:43:53 PM
lowry said:
"WTF is with that headline? It has seriously repulsed me away from the article."

The headline made me cautiously curious, but the article did a good job of repulsing me away. Seriously... what the hell.
 
2006-07-14 06:11:12 PM
Man o man this guy has issues. My wife is a psychologist, I'm sending this link to her to see what she thinks.
 
2006-07-14 06:12:40 PM
Win XP has never crashed on me. I don't know what everyones problem is.
 
2006-07-14 06:17:29 PM
AKA Joker, please share your wifes professional insights, that would be far more entertaining than the article.
 
2006-07-14 06:25:14 PM
Nick Farkoff:

You can say that again!
 
2006-07-14 06:40:30 PM
Er. hmmmmm. You know I read so many diatribes from Mac users about how difficult a PC is to use. Really - I have to wonder about their competence. I have used both and honestly don't see much difference in functionality except that it is easier for me to fix a PC than it is a Mac and in the past it has been impossible for me to upgrade any of the Macs I have owned.

My 12 year old has no problem using her PC and neither does my 85 year old grandmother. If they can do it I don't see why anybody else can't either but apparently there are hordes of Mac users who find it incredibly difficult.
 
2006-07-14 06:44:04 PM
it's not that there is nothing to steal from a mac user, it's that malware designers go for numbers, and when you want numbers you go for PC. i would bathe in the irony mac fanbois are setting themselves up for if mac did go mainstream and destroy PC. malware/virus coders would suddenly shift and this perfect system mac users think they have would fall to its knees.

pc: 1, smug assholes: 0
 
2006-07-14 06:45:57 PM
linux smugness here:)
 
2006-07-14 06:58:36 PM
quickdraw: in the past it has been impossible for me to upgrade any of the Macs I have owned

Really? What kind of Macs?

Since I bought my desktop Mac (a PowerMac G5), I've added 1 GB of memory, an internal hard drive, a FireWire hard drive, a WiFi card, a Bluetooth module, amongst other things. Except for the wireless card (Airport Extreme card from Apple), almost all of them were off-the-shelf generic parts.
 
2006-07-14 07:03:12 PM
Has anyone found/posted any articles related to the ease of hacking a mac? The damn things have backdoors with backdoors. And screen doors, at that. Security through obscurity, the guiding pronciple of mac security, can't last once enough people switch over to their system. And that whole intel chips thing that Mac guys have been drooling about? Well, lets just say it opens up a whole interesting slew of fun little goodies anyone with a basic knowledge of malicious coding can use.

That little rant aside, let's look at the advantages of owning a mac seriously for a second:

1) Ease of Use: If you can't use windows, you do not belong on a computer. On the other hand, doing any kind of serious system maintanace on a mac is impossible.

2) Faster than PC's: Yeah, but at what price? For the same 5 grand you dropped on a powerbook, I can build a PC system with enough processing power to make your powerbook cry. Thats assuming it doesn't set itself on fire first.

3) Integrated Solutions: a.k.a iLife. What is this assload of garbage? When I get a PC, I expect it to be completely clean, so I can set it up the way I want to. For macs, you don't have this choice, and you're stuck either using the existing bundle of ass, or paying stupid-high prices for a choice between two third party sollutions, either of which and more can be had for the PC for half the price.

4) Escape Velocity: HAH, EV Windows ROCKS!
 
2006-07-14 07:04:43 PM
Since I bought my desktop Mac (a PowerMac G5), I've added 1 GB of memory, an internal hard drive, a FireWire hard drive, a WiFi card, a Bluetooth module, amongst other things. Except for the wireless card (Airport Extreme card from Apple), almost all of them were off-the-shelf generic parts.

Thats 1 real upgrade (memory). So what happens when the videocard can't support what you're doing? Oh wait, theres nothing for the video card to do, as you don't need vector shading to play mah jong.
 
2006-07-14 07:05:44 PM
quickdraw: You know I read so many diatribes from Mac users about how difficult a PC is to use.

The complaint isn't that Windows is difficult to use. The complaint is that it's annoying, unattractive, unintuitive, bug-ridden, unstable, and insecure. Not necessarily that it's difficult.
 
2006-07-14 08:48:58 PM
www.uploadfile.info
 
2006-07-14 09:04:56 PM
The thing that always amuses me about the overplayed cartoon is Windows Users seem to think being a lonely dork staring at naked girls on a computer screen is somehow something to be proud of.
 
2006-07-14 09:15:55 PM
SpyVsSpy: The thing that always amuses me about the overplayed cartoon is Windows Users seem to think being a lonely dork staring at naked girls on a computer screen is somehow something to be proud of.

The thing that always amuses me about this, is that everyone likes to argue about every minute detail about everything. And they think they are winning.

/Yeah, just keep talking everyone. That'll change their mind.
//Linux user
 
2006-07-14 10:01:53 PM
Lusiphur: Since I bought my desktop Mac (a PowerMac G5), I've added 1 GB of memory, an internal hard drive, a FireWire hard drive, a WiFi card, a Bluetooth module, amongst other things. Except for the wireless card (Airport Extreme card from Apple), almost all of them were off-the-shelf generic parts.

Thats 1 real upgrade (memory). So what happens when the videocard can't support what you're doing? Oh wait, theres nothing for the video card to do, as you don't need vector shading to play mah jong.


Dude, you just fired a creamy hot load down the throat of Mac users everywhere. Bless you, good sir!
 
2006-07-14 11:39:28 PM
Lusiphur: That little rant aside, let's look at the advantages of owning a mac seriously for a second:

1) Ease of Use: If you can't use windows, you do not belong on a computer. On the other hand, doing any kind of serious system maintanace on a mac is impossible.

2) Faster than PC's: Yeah, but at what price? For the same 5 grand you dropped on a powerbook, I can build a PC system with enough processing power to make your powerbook cry. Thats assuming it doesn't set itself on fire first.

3) Integrated Solutions: a.k.a iLife. What is this assload of garbage? When I get a PC, I expect it to be completely clean, so I can set it up the way I want to. For macs, you don't have this choice, and you're stuck either using the existing bundle of ass, or paying stupid-high prices for a choice between two third party sollutions, either of which and more can be had for the PC for half the price.

4) Escape Velocity: HAH, EV Windows ROCKS!


1) I use windows all the time, including some fairly advanced stuff, for my job. For my home computer, I prefer to avoid all the hassle. You can do system maintenance on Macs, but much less is necessary.

2) Custom building a PC is a legitimate option, but if you're comparing off-the-shelf computers, once you line up truly equivalent systems and count in the price of everything included, PCs are barely if at all more expensive. Custom building only makes sense if you really know what you're doing. The amateurs who try it tend to have their system break after a year or two, and of course there's no coverage.

3) PC's also usually come with integrated solutions- just much worse ones. The software that comes with a Mac is really very good at what it's designed for. The applications are unremarkable on their own, but they are designed to work very well together. If you don't like it, since you're so eager to build your own computer, just assemble a decent suite of freeware from the web. Come to think of it, why aren't you using Linux?

4) Most importantly, of course, EV for windows sucks. Nova is terrible, and while it does let you play the original storylines of the earlier games in the series, it doesn't let you play the many plugins for them, such as the incredible Frozen Heart series, possibly the most fun I've ever had on a computer.

I can understand prefering to have the popular system that so much more software is designed for. I can even, I guess, understand preferring Windows. Your points are just as silly as the ones by Mac fanatics that you're replying to though. There are lots of idiot Mac fans, such as the author of the article, but that doesn't mean that you should dismiss the system.

Finally: I understand that if macs were very popular, they would get nearly as many viruses as pcs, though they are inherently very slightly more secure. The fact is, though, at the moment for whatever reason they are completely worry-free. No paying for virus protection, no time wasted.
 
2006-07-15 12:53:58 AM
Gentoo in the HIZZOUS!!!

/ Linux is cross platform
// Linux is secure
/// Vista sucks monkey balls
 
2006-07-15 12:56:12 AM
A MacBook Pro in a wireless cafe in Paris? Pathetic peasant ostentatious consumerism at its tawdry finest!
 
2006-07-15 01:02:24 AM
Also, use your ordinary powers of farking inference, people. If a self-professed expert purports to give advice prefaced with 'I couldn't even operate XP. I managed to infest it with spyware and viruses, and thus had to turn to an OS designed for mildly retarded children and graphics designers', do ya think that just maybe the person is not giving credible, competent advice?
 
2006-07-15 01:14:36 AM
On the topic of Mac upgradeability, yeah sure you can do it, you just have to be hard core about it. I bought a 400MHz G4 when they first came out, later swapped the motherboard for one with a newer revision north bridge chip. Then I traded up to a dual450Mhz cpu card (genuine Apple part, not third party) which I then overclocked by resoldering some micro-resistors. Bought a 500 watt atx powersupply, rewired it to be pin-compatible with the the motherboard and threw in a raid array. Towards the end I picked up a Radeon9800 (back when that was top of the line) and got a new eprom chip by mail order. Removed the stock eprom and replaced it with the larger capacity one, then flashed the mac firmware onto it. By the time I sold it last year the only original part was the case. Got enough money for it to completely pay for my new Mac.
 
2006-07-15 03:43:20 AM
SpyVsSpy: The thing that always amuses me about the overplayed cartoon is Windows Users seem to think being a lonely dork staring at naked girls on a computer screen is somehow something to be proud of.

And the thing that amuses me is that it's 100% relevant to the farking article linked to at the top of this thread.

/Don't try to deny it.
 
2006-07-15 04:25:36 AM
If I threw my Macbook Pro up into the air, it'd turn into sunshine.
 
2006-07-15 04:40:37 AM
I now understand Mac users.

Telling a Mac user to use a PC is like telling Stephen Hawking to get a Harley. It's just a stupid thing to say.

Yeah, the Harley is a lot faster, more useful to more people overall, and probably cheaper than Hawking's wheelchair rig. But like Mac users, Hawking suffers from severe limitations (in his case physical, not mental) that require special needs. Without his blink-controlled servos and synthetic voice box, he'd be rendered immobile and useless. Just like without OSX, current Mac users would be overwhelmed by spyware, crashes, and viruses that they don't know how to avoid. And like Hawking's chair, Macs come with all sorts of features that are trivial to the vast majority of people (iLife, iSight, etc.) but seem to be the foundation of Mac users' computer activities.
 
2006-07-15 06:32:23 PM
Man this is funny because Im going through a relaionship right now that involves a girlfriend going back to her abusive/controlling ex-boyfriend (of which they've broken up 4 times)! This article made me lol.
 
2006-07-15 09:36:32 PM
That was some of the best writing I've ever read.
 
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