FARK.com: (2165949) Ultimate fighting: Inhuman no-holds-barred brutality or softcore gay porn?

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		Ultimate fighting: Inhuman no-holds-barred brutality or softcore gay porn? (boston.com)		50
		More: Weird

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928 clicks; posted to Sports » on 12 Jul 2006 at 6:43 AM | Favorite | share:

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RottNDude		2006-07-12 02:25:12 AM

Well, for me it's both. I enjoy the fighting and the guys aren't bad either.

/teh ghey

Drakkenmaw		2006-07-12 02:31:09 AM

No no, it's a floor wax and a dessert topping!

RottNDude		2006-07-12 02:33:28 AM

Precisely, Drakkenmaw.

Sun God		2006-07-12 02:38:16 AM

Here are most of the rules. Probably more than you expected. For the record, I enjoy UFC, but I think most wrestlers have some gheyness about them.

Fouls:
1. Butting with the head.
2. Eye gouging of any kind.
3. Biting.
4. Hair pulling.
5. Fish hooking.
6. Groin attacks of any kind.
7. Putting a finger into any orifice or into any cut or laceration on an opponent.
8. Small joint manipulation.
9. Striking to the spine or the back of the head.
10. Striking downward using the point of the elbow.
11. Throat strikes of any kind, including, without limitation, grabbing the trachea.
12. Clawing, pinching or twisting the flesh.
13. Grabbing the clavicle.
14. Kicking the head of a grounded opponent.
15. Kneeing the head of a grounded opponent.
16. Stomping a grounded opponent.
17. Kicking to the kidney with the heel.
18. Spiking an opponent to the canvas on his head or neck.
19. Throwing an opponent out of the ring or fenced area.
20. Holding the shorts or gloves of an opponent.
21. Spitting at an opponent.
22. Engaging in an unsportsmanlike conduct that causes an injury to an opponent.
23. Holding the ropes or the fence.
24. Using abusive language in the ring or fenced area.
25. Attacking an opponent on or during the break.
26. Attacking an opponent who is under the care of the referee.
27. Attacking an opponent after the bell has sounded the end of the period of unarmed combat.
28. Flagrantly disregarding the instructions of the referee.
29. Timidity, including, without limitation, avoiding contact with an opponent, intentionally or consistently dropping the mouthpiece or faking an injury.
30. Interference by the corner.
31. Throwing in the towel during competition.

Ways To Win:
1. Submission by:
Physical tap out.
Verbal tap out.

swingbozo		2006-07-12 02:43:37 AM

Of course you can still get teh herp from wrasslin'

FarkmeBlind		2006-07-12 02:56:51 AM

I'll take "Yes" for 500, Wink.

nukeim		2006-07-12 03:01:13 AM

16. Stomping a grounded opponent.

WTF? You aren't supposed to kick a man when he's down?

But that's the best damn time to kick them!

log_jammin		2006-07-12 03:01:44 AM

Yes submitter you ARE gay

log_jammin		2006-07-12 03:04:23 AM

27. Attacking an opponent after the bell has sounded the end of the period of unarmed combat.

Then there is a period of armed combat I assume?

FarkmeBlind		2006-07-12 03:04:58 AM

log_jammin: Yes submitter you ARE gay

Errr, as a gay person, "we" don't want him. You keep him. We're still working out the details on the Jackson/Simmons/Cruise trade negotiations.

FarkmeBlind		2006-07-12 03:06:07 AM

log_jammin: Then there is a period of armed combat I assume?

*sigh*

We can only hope and pray.

/frustrated war chariot designer

nukeim		2006-07-12 03:08:04 AM

FarkmeBlind: We can only hope and pray.

I feel your pain.

/Chainmail knitting expert and metalsmith of 6 fingered men.

log_jammin		2006-07-12 03:09:54 AM

nukeim: /Chainmail knitting expert and metalsmith of 6 fingered men.

HA!

FarkmeBlind		2006-07-12 03:10:18 AM

nukeim: Chainmail knitting expert and metalsmith of 6 fingered men.

Your father was a good man; whoever killed him should prepare to die.

FarkmeBlind		2006-07-12 03:14:07 AM

When I think of rims, I think of rotating razor-sharp blades, "Cut me off, will you? I'll show you such a cutting!"

/Funny, I never heard back from Ford or GM.

nukeim		2006-07-12 03:18:02 AM

I dun kilt dat mofo.

Sun God		2006-07-12 03:21:22 AM

log_jammin: Then there is a period of armed combat I assume?

No. It's essentially a rule which prevents fighters from coming into the ring with teeny-tiny razor-blades and other stuff hidden in their fingernails. Which is possible, you know. That particular rule defines the fight as being one of unarmed combat.

Errk		2006-07-12 03:23:45 AM

1. Former Navy Seal, stuntman, eco-warrior, and rock star
2. The world is my home. I travel all over it.
3. Eleventy billion

Errk		2006-07-12 03:24:39 AM

arrrgh!!!

/wrong farking thread

log_jammin		2006-07-12 03:34:46 AM

Errk: arrrgh!!!

/wrong farking thread

Yet it still fits in an odd sort of way

camarugala		2006-07-12 03:45:15 AM

Greco Ramon Wrestling!

Are you sure you don't want some oil?

Trust me it helps.

FarkmeBlind		2006-07-12 03:48:25 AM

Sun God: That particular rule defines the fight as being one of unarmed combat.

Grrr, it's more fun WITH weapons.

FarkmeBlind		2006-07-12 04:46:48 AM

camarugala: Greco Ramon Wrestling!

Sounds like Caligula's porn stash.

mildlydisturbed		2006-07-12 05:38:30 AM

me and the roomies will watch it if there's nothing else on.

We call it the sweaty man-hugging show

R.O.P.		2006-07-12 05:44:19 AM

With all those rules I would call it Psuedo-Ultimate Fighting.

Sawatdee		2006-07-12 08:09:48 AM

FarkmeBlind: camarugala: Greco Ramon Wrestling!

Sounds like Caligula's porn stash.

don't know about that, but I love some greco Ramen noodles...mix in an egg and some chopped onions, yum

zappaisfrank		2006-07-12 08:10:30 AM

I always thought wrestling was teh ghey sport. Grappling around on a mat with another sweaty guy and all....

/who knew?

Vin Diesel		2006-07-12 08:15:32 AM

It is legitimate fighting (not quite NHB) that just happens to appeal to gay men as an offshoot--this is as opposed to bodybuilder magazines, many of which which are quite specifically designed to appeal to gay men (a huge part of their audience) as well as neophyte bodybuilders. There is a freaking hilarious article out there about this, lets see if I can find it.. I think this might be it. Excerpt:I got a few laughs when I read the discussion sometime back about whether Muscular Development is a "gay mag." But take a look at page 110 of the May 2000 issue?this guy is obviously gay:

1) His ass is hanging out the back of his "hot pants."
2) He's only squatting 135 pounds.
3) Why does he have a boner, and why is Muscular Development showing it to us?

Vin Diesel		2006-07-12 08:18:40 AM

Another good excerpt:

Richard Perez-Feria estimates that when he was editing Gym and Burn!, which was when they were most erotically charged, the readership was evenly divided between gay and straight men, though the boundaries between gay and straight seem to be blurred in this case.

"It's a very open secret among the magazines that are in the market that you're basically creating a magazine for, we call it a 'closet case reader,'" he explained. "A guy in St. Louis or Alabama who doesn't get a chance to look at men openly, or enough men as he wants to look at. And so you wrap it around the fitness context. You put a hot guy, oiled down with a dumbbell, on the cover like Men's Workout does, and they do all the phone sex ads in the back, and you have a magazine. It's a healthy magazine that will have 100,000 or so readers that just can't get that stuff anywhere else, so they'll buy it. And so Suzy the girlfriend or wife or mother thinks it's a fitness magazine, when in fact -- wink, wink -- they know it's something else."

LoftKing		2006-07-12 09:12:20 AM

Anyone thing that its gay?

Put on the gloves and come in the ring. You will WISH, it was gay. :)

LoftKing		2006-07-12 09:17:27 AM

thing=think

punched in head to many times last night.....

Mr_E_Squirrel		2006-07-12 09:22:05 AM

Got to page Four and it asked for registration.... Course it could have all fit in two pages had the (formerly interesting) article not been set so narrow...

DIAF Boston Globe

FireThunder		2006-07-12 09:39:02 AM

Using abusive language in the ring or fenced area.

Bwah?

whizbangthedirtfarmer		2006-07-12 09:51:37 AM

UFC was entertaining before it was regulated. Hence the no cursing, no punching, and no kicking stuff that goes on now.

Oleg Taktarov was unstoppable!

Sawatdee		2006-07-12 10:28:25 AM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: UFC was entertaining before it was regulated. Hence the no cursing, no punching, and no kicking stuff that goes on now.

Come on, Matt Hughes v. Royce Gracie was awesome and so was the 2nd fight between Randy Couture v. Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell.

Tim655321		2006-07-12 10:41:54 AM

"Do you like movies about gladiators?"

TheAnvil		2006-07-12 10:49:10 AM

PRIDE is better

fibber		2006-07-12 10:52:44 AM

How is this not a voting thread? Are we so certain that everyone here realizes its softcore gay porn?

AuralArgument		2006-07-12 11:01:04 AM

fibber:

Everyone but LoftKing:. Not all gays are soft there buddy, walk through a gay village and you'll notice that about 50% there probebly could kick your a$$.

fibber		2006-07-12 11:04:13 AM

LoftKing

"Anyone thing that its gay?

Put on the gloves and come in the ring. You will WISH, it was gay. :)"
Realize we don't have enough information to assume the combatants are gay. But we have plenty to assume the viewers are.

Sawatdee		2006-07-12 11:26:24 AM

zappaisfrank: I always thought wrestling was teh ghey sport. Grappling around on a mat with another sweaty guy and all....

As a wrestler, I did always feel awkard yet curious taking the bottom position.

By the way, reaching in to another man's crotch whilst he's bending over in front of you is most certainly teh ghey -

www.news10.net

micke		2006-07-12 11:49:20 AM

How ironic that UFIA is deemed illegal.

whuggy		2006-07-12 12:59:05 PM

8. Small joint manipulation.

Took me a few seconds to figure out what it really means :)

Squawky		2006-07-12 01:16:17 PM

I don't see any rules against tea bagging.
/ghey

spleef420		2006-07-12 01:30:49 PM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: UFC was entertaining before it was regulated. Hence the no cursing, no punching, and no kicking stuff that goes on now.

oh, so you want to see people die like in boxing?

these regulations are a major reason nobody has ever died as a result of injuries in the UFC.

no kicking/punching? this isn't a tickling competition, these boys are out to hurt each other.

lerxst2112		2006-07-12 02:59:38 PM

7. Putting a finger into any orifice or into any cut or laceration on an opponent.

Woah, uh, there is your answer smitty.

bkennedy		2006-07-12 03:00:10 PM

Add a small batch bourbon and a cigar to this headline and we have a REAL party.

whizbangthedirtfarmer		2006-07-12 03:28:21 PM

Sure, now you can punch/kick, but you can't do it very often unless your opponent is an absolute idiot. Before UFC was regulated, no one died or even truly seriously injured, because the refs and officials did a good job of breaking up the fight if it were one sided. The early UFC fighters needed not only strength, but stamina, and brains. Now, most UFC matches last a few minutes here and there. It's really almost as sanitized as WWE now.

spleef420		2006-07-12 04:03:47 PM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: now you can punch/kick, but you can't do it very often unless your opponent is an absolute idiot.

clueless...absolutely clueless. making a fatal mistake in the ring doesn't make a fighter an idiot, it makes him human.

It's really almost as sanitized as WWE now.

comparing UFC to WWE? you should be institutionalized for that. WWE is sports entertainment, UFC is pure sport. WWE is full of musclebound morons that'd likely get owned in a UFC ring...proof? Sean O'Haire. (we'll soon find out when Brock Lesnar fights Gary Goodridge how badly a heavyweight can get hurt)

there's a reason Ken Shamrock and Daniel Pewter aren't in WWE anymore, they're too dangerous.

Zappagirl		2006-07-12 05:01:47 PM

I find MMA fighting irresistably sexy. There is something profoundly erotic about blood being drawn and real fighting between men.

I really hope that at some point I will be able to learn both kickboxing and Brazilian jiujitsu and get a chance to fight someone in a ring at an amateur level. It would make me very very happy.

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