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(Some Guy)   Sen. Stevens explains the internets: "And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes"   (dailykos.com) divider line 245
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11808 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2006 at 12:34 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-07-03 01:52:10 PM
img150.imageshack.us
 
2006-07-03 01:52:50 PM
 
2006-07-03 01:54:09 PM
"I want people to understand my position."


/ asplodes
// boom head shot
 
2006-07-03 01:55:13 PM
It doesn't matter if our representatives are knowlegeable about the issues they are voting on because they don't read the bills they vote on anyway.
 
2006-07-03 01:55:39 PM
Oh. My. God.

This guy is one of the craziest people in the Senate. He also refused to swear in the oil-execs, and pushed for that bridge to nowhere in Alaska that cost like $200+ million. Off with his head!
 
2006-07-03 01:56:58 PM
Devin172: Congress doesn't have such an aparatus. Each Senator and Representative is expected to learn and develop expertise on the subject of their committee assignment.


Stevens has been in congress for how long? This committee? If this is as far as he's gotten during his tenure (appropriate term I would say) he has no business continuing.

12 years and out. Both Houses.
 
2006-07-03 01:58:36 PM
cfporn.com:

Utterly. Freakin'. Brilliant.
 
2006-07-03 01:58:47 PM
Yeah, the internet is going to The Tubes!!!

ec1.images-amazon.com
 
2006-07-03 01:58:56 PM
I think WayToBlue has it right.

Senator to aide: Did you send me that internet I asked you for?

Aide: Oh, um, of course I did senator...did you not receive it? The internet tubes must be clogged.

Senator: Really? I'll have my assistant check my internet again...maybe it's there now.

Aide rushes off to actually send the mail.

/modern day equivalent of the check is in the mail
//what happened to you internet? you used to be cool
 
2006-07-03 02:02:18 PM
floridian62
what really ticks me off is he didn't mention "penis enlargement emails" EVEN ONCE!

maybe they don't fit through his tubes
 
2006-07-03 02:04:18 PM
Blank83: Pretty much the entire thing is a direct quote from Stevens, so what does it matter where it's from?

It doesn't, really. However, linking to a site with an extreme political bias is a sort of fashion statement by the anonymous submitter. He can read the thread, see who complains, and silently tell himself that he's better than they are.

It's very annoying, especially since it would take two seconds on Google to find a politically-neutral version og the story.
 
2006-07-03 02:04:53 PM
Nabb1: And there are people who think these morons should be in charge of our nation's healthcare. We're all going to end up with leeches and a chicken foot.

OK, I'll bite on the threadjack...

I've been in the healthcare industry for years (decades), payer side and provider side, and the technology employed by the Medicare program is absolutely light years beyond anything used in the private sector.

Until the current Senate screwed with trying to give out drugs, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services are a shining example a highly technical government program administered with astonishing accuracy.
 
2006-07-03 02:09:21 PM
I know my dad was just talking off the top of his head and that this is a poor representation of his intelligence, but my father (who was in his 70's at his time) when first encountering a fax asked me how they got the paper through the phone lines.

/very funny, though now with the benefit of age I suddenly see that he just wasn't paying attention.
 
2006-07-03 02:13:03 PM
2006-07-03 07:36:38 AM Lord of Allusions

I'm a little late to this thread, but Lord of Allusions wins.
 
2006-07-03 02:25:16 PM
Rarely is the question asked: Is our tubes prioritizing?
 
2006-07-03 02:25:39 PM
Will the country really go down the Tubes if they pass this Fee Waybill?
 
2006-07-03 02:30:17 PM
Tubes, all the way down.
 
2006-07-03 02:32:26 PM
if the internet has tubes, then we need to find out if they are aluminum. then we need to start an neverending war with no objectives.
 
2006-07-03 02:33:10 PM
Gussie Fink-Nottle: Tubes? I thought it was all done with clacks and imps.


25 points for the ultra-obscure discworld reference. I bow to you.
 
2006-07-03 02:33:22 PM
Multi-Vitamin:

It might surprise you to know that the "normal constituents" of Alaska worry about the same things as "normal constituents" of other states.
 
2006-07-03 02:40:11 PM
So if it's tubes... how does wireless work...

Wireless tubes?
 
2006-07-03 02:45:58 PM
2006-07-03 01:19:40 PM mtylerjr

I actually enjoyed your translation; perhaps you could have your own personal internet for translating political speeches. Start with this guy, then work your way up to W's nonsensical gibbering.
 
2006-07-03 02:47:54 PM
Congress needs an age limit. Once you hit 50, you have to be replaced.
 
2006-07-03 02:51:09 PM
Glassfish: I understand what you are saying about ISP and bandwidth, that the current model doesnt really provide for segmented services and such...but my connection speed has been bumped several times in the last two years. The upload speed is still low, but the down pipe is very phat, and I havent had to pony up extra money (other than cable rate increases on the package). The cable company did this to compete with others, and in this market at least it's working, DSL subscriptions have been flat or slightly down while cable subscriptions have been trending up. Competition works without letting those greedy farks in Washington stick thier hands in it.



Net neutrality is the key here. You can't allow Verizon or other the "right" to charge Yahoo more than Google or someone else. Without net neutrality Verizon could decide it dosen't like a particular company and charge them more than others or not allow access to them all together. The ISPs are paid already as it is by all parties involved.
 
Slu
2006-07-03 02:53:51 PM
2006-07-03 01:10:57 PM Free Radical

Deregulation worked so well for Savings and Loans why wouldn't it work for the Internets?

This statement is incredibly simplistic, un-related and completely irrelvant.

Thanks for playing though.
 
2006-07-03 02:54:07 PM
This is why old people shouldn't smoke dope.
 
2006-07-03 02:55:39 PM
mtylerjr: I think his point is, or at least could be, a valid point. I think he's just not good at explaining technical things. But I think he really does grasp the problem.


There is no problem. Emails are recieved within minutes not days. If there is a problem with him getiing an email it's ot because of the "enormous" amounts of traffic on teh internets. Don't defend this idiot. His point is not valid and this is his lame attempt at repeating what his masters(telcom) tell him to say.
 
2006-07-03 02:57:50 PM
People who dismiss messages because of their sources are by definition close minded.
 
2006-07-03 02:58:40 PM
Slu: This statement is incredibly simplistic, un-related and completely irrelvant.

Thanks for playing though.




No it's actually incredibly true. Look how well deregualtion worked out for the power industry. Enron? hello? Basic services that have no competition need regulation. Look at how oil companies are robbing us blind. Why because they can. No real regulation.
 
2006-07-03 03:01:54 PM
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: People who dismiss messages because of their sources are by definition close minded.


Incorrect. You have to consider the source. If the Jerusalem Post reports that Palestinians want to eat jewish babies do you believe it?
 
2006-07-03 03:04:39 PM
What the fark is wrong with you people? You actually elect men like this to our government? You actually take time out of your day to drive down to the polling booth and cast a vote?

Statistically speaking if you threw darts at the ballot you'd have a better chance of electing someone better. This is the man you have elected to have speak for you?

Holy shiat I think I'm going to be sick. Obviously this isn't aimed at everyone, but that guy got into office somehow, and he wasn't hand picked by motherfarking Xenu!
 
2006-07-03 03:06:54 PM
I think we can now officially declare this guy retarded beyond all hope. Someone call Health & Human Services for him.
 
2006-07-03 03:08:43 PM
The only really important matter is "what's his position on flag burning?" Nothing else matters!
 
2006-07-03 03:09:40 PM
Haymaking by the usual condescending lefties out there. Yes, his terminology is pretty amusing, but he does clearly grasp the problem (as it has probably been explained to him a dozen times by staffers and by lobbyists). And yeah, the internet made of a sort of tubes.
 
2006-07-03 03:11:33 PM
you know how they say things are going down the tubes? just where the hell are these tubes huh?

man ted stevens is an incredible fark-tard.
 
2006-07-03 03:12:33 PM
Why Alaskans keep sending old 'Uncle Ted' back to the Senate:

www.marions-kochbuch.de

/He brings home lots of it.
//Hate his political stands, though.
///He's getting a bit blustery and wacky in his old age.
 
2006-07-03 03:13:23 PM
You Sir, are no Al Gore.
 
2006-07-03 03:16:03 PM
Just how MANY onions are tied to the Senator's belt???
 
2006-07-03 03:17:07 PM
mmb1978: Haymaking by the usual condescending lefties out there. Yes, his terminology is pretty amusing, but he does clearly grasp the problem (as it has probably been explained to him a dozen times by staffers and by lobbyists). And yeah, the internet made of a sort of tubes.

Slavish apologists statement by the usual blinded party loyalist. Defending a man who is the epitome of a threat to our society.
 
2006-07-03 03:18:16 PM
After reading Senator Stevens's comments I have come to the conclusion that he should be heavily medicated, tied to a gurney and left to rant at a shiny doorknob in the hallway of an old folk's home where he belongs. Along with him I would also like to think we can do the same to every single one of his Congressional peers who believed that this guy would be a qualified member of this committee.
 
2006-07-03 03:18:25 PM
Sigh....

No, not red flags with illegible German writing in one corner.

BACON, he brings home the BACON.

/My first burn on a hot link...
// MMMmmmmmmmm... Hot links.
 
2006-07-03 03:24:33 PM
mmb1978

He doesn't grasp the problem, but thanks for playing. There are a hundred other factors that might go into an email not getting delivered on time, but the "internet tubes" being clogged is pretty far down the list.

Being in my posistion I have the unfortunate job of explaining technology to non-technical managers and descision makers daily. Somebody lied to this man if they said his email was delayed by "clogged tubes" and everyone in the US will pay dearly for that lie.
 
2006-07-03 03:33:56 PM
Cuchulane
Is there a web site-buyable book that has drug coverage info, while I am on MediCAL anything that could be close would help.
Trying to figure out what is/isn't covered is nuts, eg: Kadien, yes but only 90 total (not good with a scrip that has 20x4 per day).

As for the article, yeah the translations are what he meant (of course being sentr the internets...wow).
 
2006-07-03 03:34:14 PM
And you people say my Sen. Byrd is senile.

/he is.
//not as much as Stevens
 
2006-07-03 03:34:44 PM
www.operative.net

It's a tube, dumbass.
 
2006-07-03 03:40:36 PM
mmb1978

So his E-mail was days late because of lots of movies being downloaded?

No, he does not have a grasp on the problem and he made an ass out of himself. Again.
 
2006-07-03 03:43:20 PM
www.northerntool.com

haha...INTARTUBE.
 
2006-07-03 03:45:20 PM
does anyone here know where i can get the latest version of the internet? my buddy said he burned it onto a cd for me, but i havent been able to load it up. i checked my email and someone sent me a copy of the internet but it had a virus on it.
 
2006-07-03 03:46:05 PM
ssrat: s there a web site-buyable book that has drug coverage info, while I am on MediCAL anything that could be close would help.
Trying to figure out what is/isn't covered is nuts, eg: Kadien, yes but only 90 total (not good with a scrip that has 20x4 per day).


Try here...

Part D resource center
 
2006-07-03 03:47:35 PM
Who the Fark is Ted Stevens?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn51uT4a-IU

(pops)
 
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