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(timesonline)   "You need a permit to do everything in America. You even need a passport to buy a drink. But interestingly you don't need one if you wish to rent some guns and some bullets"   (timesonline.co.uk) divider line 304
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13161 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2006 at 6:02 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-07-02 07:56:07 PM
acchief

Oh, and having babies. You don't need a permit for that.


Sadly, you are correct.
 
2006-07-02 07:56:48 PM
acchief: Oh, and having babies. You don't need a permit for that. God Bless America!

This is the case because I can think of no way to require baby liscences that is both ethical and effective. I can only give you one of 'em. Not two.
 
2006-07-02 07:57:08 PM
dfenstrate,

I still love America, i hate what you're letting happen to it.
 
2006-07-02 07:57:34 PM
HumbleGod: That's odd. Does this shop just have those forms laying around or something?


yea along with their 2 dollar bills and guinness towels, this story is a crock of shiat


Yeah.. because 2 dollar bills and guinness towels don't exist.

You do realise that people in this very thread have actually linked to the film he made with the rented gun?
 
2006-07-02 07:57:58 PM
Anyway, back to the guns. I needed them because I wished to shoot a car in the Mojave desert. But you can't do that without the say-so of the local fire chief who turned up, with his haircut, to say that for reasons he couldn't explain, he had a red flag in his head.


Yes, the USA is a police state because we won't allow people to fire weapons at cars.

Btw why did he need to shoot at a car? To give a false story of being shot at by evil gun-toting, cheese eating Americans?

And the US has rude, dim-witted people running gas pumps.
Yeah... we're the only country in the world were you find idiots working the menial jobs. Yeppers.
 
2006-07-02 07:58:27 PM
joeyKarnigeey
"You see the biggest example of fascism and communist democide are preceded by gun control, but that doesn't matter to you.

Didn't Timothy McVeigh say something like that?
 
2006-07-02 08:00:05 PM
Just in case this hasn't been stated... ths article is written by someone from a country where they require you to have a license for your TELEVISION
 
2006-07-02 08:00:24 PM
Funny column .
Even funnier righteous indignation .
 
2006-07-02 08:00:53 PM
What the hell are these "double-egg burgers" we're supposed to be eating by the fistfulls?
 
2006-07-02 08:03:15 PM
This guy is an asshole. Plane and simple. Just from his opening paragraph, you can tell he's got an agenda.
 
2006-07-02 08:04:38 PM
Major Thomb: That's maintained by the British government and not the people. Do you really believe the government is the best source of impartial news?

sometimes it is, because it has to try very very hard to actually be impartial, just to throw off the suspicion that they might not be impartial.

the ABC in australia is the same, and the government is continually complaining that it's biased against the government...the old "reality is biased against you" problem faced by conservative governments everywhere...the govt is so unhappy with the bagging they get they threaten all the time to reduce funding as a reprisal...but the ABC toughs it out and keeps providing great news and current affairs

in australia, like the UK, the government station is the most impartial and trusted news source.
 
2006-07-02 08:05:13 PM
Yeah it's a bad article.

Nuff said, n goodnite!!
 
2006-07-02 08:05:22 PM
Dacian: What the hell are these "double-egg burgers" we're supposed to be eating by the fistfulls?

At a small, out of the way diner in Hyattsville, MD, I had a sandwich that consisted of two fried eggs placed onto a sub bun. That's what I pictured when reading the article. Actually made me kind of ill, haven't had one since.
 
2006-07-02 08:05:52 PM
2006-07-02 07:48:01 PM HolyGeekboy
... "If you don't like it, leave! Move to Canada, since you obviously hate this country!"

People who want to improve the place that they call home, and do it through speech and diplomacy and rationality... should leave? If you love your country so much, quit apologizing for things you KNOW are wrong, and stand up and talk about what to do to make things right.


Well said. I'd say exactly the same thing about New Zealand and the UK (I'm from both). I can give you a list as long as your arm of things wrong with both countries. Short version - UK is backward looking, stodgy, conservative (small c) and slow to change with way too many miserable and beligerant people. New Zealand is stuck in a macho, PC version of the 1950s in almost every attitude, and has a gutless, pandering government.

There's a lot I'd like to change, but I love both countries. No country is above large amounts of criticism.
 
2006-07-02 08:08:47 PM
GIS for egg burger.

www.allangles.com.au

Been living in the US for 30 years now and never saw one.
 
2006-07-02 08:09:44 PM
I don't take this one at face value... 8 inches away is OK? He was filming in the street or on the shoulder and was told to get back on the farking sidewalk.

"No problem," said the man at the shop. "But could you just sign this assuring us that the movie you're making is not anti-Bush or anti-war."

I have a strong suspicion he was either trying to pull a Michael Moore and film then and there in the range and the range had its own policies or principles they wanted reflected on their own private property. Oh the horror.

SERIOUSLY, people... tell me you trust this guy was just some innocent, confused reporter working on his story.
 
2006-07-02 08:10:16 PM
tons0phun,

You realize that I'm not the one that wrote that quote though right?
 
2006-07-02 08:13:17 PM
I can't believe the people in this thread who just don't get it.

The piece is supposed to be humour.

Look at some of the other pieces by the same author and you might just understand.
 
2006-07-02 08:14:26 PM
The only thing I really learned from TFA:

Gun nuts know how to lobby.
 
2006-07-02 08:15:19 PM
Indeed, lindseyp

This is by Jeremy Clarkson. He's an asshole, but he's not a serious asshole. Take whatever he says with a chunk of rock salt. And download some episodes of Top Gear. I'm with jay_vee in that I don't really like cars yet still love that show :P
 
2006-07-02 08:16:05 PM
That opinion piece was awesome.
 
2006-07-02 08:17:44 PM
Firstly: Jeremy Clarkson, the author is moron.

But I do kind of see where he's going with this article. There are alot of cops, immigration officers and jumped up security guards in America and they are, to the man (or woman) the most infuriating, stupid, humourless, over-zealous bunch of tools in the universe.

They all annoyed the shiat out of me when I was on holiday over there. I had a good time overall but getting frisked entering pretty much any public building is tiresome.

Getting questioned by the cops for literally doing nothing is stupid. Guess what? I like to stand around and watch the world go by when I'm on holiday, only American cops seem to think this is "suspicious behaviour".

I'm walking along the promenade at Coney Island and I want to stroll along the pier. A woman in uniform tells me I need to put my shoes on to walk on the pier because there's fishing tackle around and I could injure myself. I thank her for the advice, but I like walking barefoot so I say I'll take my chances. She jumps in front of me and demands sternly I put shoes on. Now I could understand this if I was eight years old but christ...

As much as the EU has some ridiculous safety laws at least the people charged with enforcing them here have the common sense to ignore them.

Oh and my dad, who is 63 and has a bushy grey beard got ID'd buying beer in Atlanta. I don't know if Americans are stupid, but a little more common sense wouldn't go amiss in my experience.
 
2006-07-02 08:18:02 PM
Legal drinking age in the US is 21. What's up with that? Land of the free my furry ass...
 
2006-07-02 08:25:01 PM
I was going to say g nite but A12002, you got me goin...

you see the lady at Coney Island insisted you put your shoes on because your average American walking around without shoes on would SUE Coney Island for everything they have if they were to "take their chances".

It's the land of the 'free' you see.
In particular, the 'free of personal responsibility'.

xo
 
2006-07-02 08:27:46 PM
tons0phun: Didn't Timothy McVeigh say something like that?

Either shiat, or get off the pot.
 
2006-07-02 08:29:13 PM
Ok....I feel as the most lefty-nutbag in the room that I should stand up and say: I am NOT in favor of the "gun control" of which you speak. However, child locks, etc., those are all fine and dandy. Safety is one thing.

Let me repeat: I am the biggest lefty/liberal any of you will ever cyber-meet and I tend to agree that "gun control" of the variety that makes the NRA nuts foam at the mouth is a nice, tree lined stroll toward despotism.

Guns shouldn't be used to protect our homes from burglars and vandals, and they shouldn't be needed to protect our bodies from rape and battery. They should protect our homes and bodies from our Government.
 
2006-07-02 08:29:59 PM
Al2001

Oh and my dad, who is 63 and has a bushy grey beard got ID'd buying beer in Atlanta. I don't know if Americans are stupid, but a little more common sense wouldn't go amiss in my experience.


Some places have an "always card" policy because they don't trust their employees' judgement. Some unethical waiters will ask to see your ID so they know if you're a tourist, and where from, so they know if and how much to overcharge you.
 
2006-07-02 08:33:10 PM
I don't think this guy was that off the mark. You have to remember that England has pretty decent people as police officers and almost everyone has a sense of humor.

We don't share their easy-going attitudes over here, at least, not with those in charge.
 
2006-07-02 08:33:23 PM
I bought a half-kilo jar of gunpowder in a midwest K-Mart as an 18-year-old Australian some years ago, with no problems, and this scared me.
 
2006-07-02 08:34:19 PM
Larry the Fish, I normally don't buy beers for pinko commie nutty-leftists, but the first round's on me.
 
2006-07-02 08:36:30 PM
If the US citizens cannot easily aquire a gun, we are fark e d.
 
2006-07-02 08:36:52 PM
Gee dreadnaught, what did you do with your gunpowder?

If it scared you so much why did you buy it?

And if you got away with it then, why complain about it now?


I'm against ALL such idiocy myself, but you're the one who bought the farking gunpowder. So what gives?
 
2006-07-02 08:37:56 PM
Summary: This country is full of fat, retarded, rule mongers, and a lot of the rules are stupid.

And it's the (sad) truth.
 
2006-07-02 08:39:46 PM
LargeCanine: Leaveing aside the obvious lies in the article (need a pasport for a drink)

No, that's correct.
The requirement is for Government-issued photo ID. This means one of two things in most states:
1. Driver's License (sometimes not even out-of-state license will do) or
2. Passport.
( some states will let you get by with a Military ID )

The author is a foreigner. He doesn't have a US-issued driver's license. Hence, if he gets 'carded', his only valid form of photo ID is a passport.

I should point out that in the UK, most people until recently didn't have any form of photo-id *except* for their passport - no photos on driver's licenses, see, and you didn't have to carry your license when you drove. Hence, for folks who are older than about 20 in the UK, the thought of carrying government-issued photo-ID on them in the UK was kind of silly.
 
2006-07-02 08:41:18 PM
Yes, you can "rent" a machine gun with an ID.
Of course, if you try to remove it from the premises the owner will shoot you. Oooh, did he forget to mention it's not "take-out"?


Not only that, but if you own a machinegun legally (and yes, I own a few) you need to file a BATFE Form 5320.20 to do so much as transport it across State lines. This must be done months in advance, and you must receive BATFE authorization prior to transporting it. The 5320.20 is only good from "point A" to "point B" and back, and only for the dates covered by it.
 
2006-07-02 08:42:33 PM
ImJustaTroll: We don't share their easy-going attitudes over here, at least, not with those in charge.


Americans are asking what their country can do for them lately.

We're too poor, and too stupid in America. We have the extremely wealthy that flaunt their welth, and a media that promotes the posession of a whole lotta stuff.

We're just trying to get our's
 
2006-07-02 08:44:10 PM
You don't "need" a passport to purchase alcohol, you only need photo identification if you're young enough to fall under mandatory carding laws.

This depends on the retailer. Some retailers card everyone. Others don't card old people like me.

One of the quickest ways a waiter or waitress can improve their tip when they wait on us is to card us for an alcohol purchase. Why? Because we're old, wrinkley, and grey.
 
2006-07-02 08:46:00 PM
However, it seems that perhaps a US passport is not good enough to buy a drink.

Ayup. If you're 10 years old, a passport ain't gonna help you buy booze.
 
2006-07-02 08:49:43 PM
You don't have to sign anything or agree to anything in accordance with state law, but usually the place will require you to leave collateral

You're also not allowed to leave the premesis with it. Places that rent guns rent them for use on their in-house firing range. It's not like you can go in, say "I wanna whack my wife at home, rent me a gun", and they'll do it.

Oddly enough, gun rental places are rarely sites of suicides. People who don't have guns sometimes go in, rent one, and then shoot themselves intentionally. It's not a frequent thing, but it happens every now and then.

Oh, BTW: You can't even rent a gun if you are legally prohibited from buying one. That's federal law, and applies to everyplace in the country.
 
2006-07-02 08:50:12 PM
Anyone can use a passport to buy alcohol, cigs ect. It's an official form of identification

A friend of mine did not have a driver's license, so he would use his passport to purchase things.....and by things, I mean beer and porn
 
2006-07-02 08:51:13 PM
Maybe the cops wouldn't hassle him if he'd take off his "Screw You, Fascist States of America" T-Shirt.

By the way, the UK is busily covering itself in surveillance cameras, speed enforcement cameras, traffic light cameras, license plate cameras, and every other kind of camera anyone can think of. They also have a law by which the police can compel you to disclose any of your encryption keys at the threat of prison time. Meanwhile, anyone daring to act in his/her own self defense against criminals has a high liklihood of being arrested and jailed themselves. If I have to choose my police state, I'll take the US version any time.

i4.tinypic.com
 
2006-07-02 08:54:29 PM
What's the difference between England's football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the Cup longer.

And at least in America we don't think that a dessert called "Spotted Dick" is something to be proud of.

Brits still haven't gotten over the whole Independence thing.
 
2006-07-02 08:54:40 PM
Clarkson's attempts at humor are frequently undermined by his myopic bitterness, caused by the UK's food, weather, and inferiority complex.
 
2006-07-02 08:55:35 PM
dreadnaught I bought a half-kilo jar of gunpowder in a midwest K-Mart as an 18-year-old Australian some years ago, with no problems, and this scared me.

Scares me too ... damn metric system is invading the Heartland. Is nothing sacred?
 
2006-07-02 08:55:41 PM
darkhorse23
I've always wondered why people from other countries who think that America is stupid and sucky still tend to stay here, instead of where it isn't so stupid and sucky - perhaps....back home?

From my personal experience:

It's because when you grow up in other countries, you hear ALL THE TIME how GREAT & AWESOME America is! Do you realize how it must be, to get drilled into your brain for half your life, that there's this awesome place where politicians are not corrupt, where there's no trash on the streets, where you don't have to bribe cops at traffic stops & so on? And when you finally make it to the place, you see that it is not all it was made out to be? It's not hate, man...it's farking disillusionment!

If the most awesome (allegedly) place in the world has got the same problems as back home, where do you go next??

I've lived mostly in one of the crimson-red states in the U.S. & the amount of inbred imbeciles I have met is staggering. Not to thread-jack here, but here's my favorite story:

Random White Girl at School: So, what religion do you practice in your country? What god do you worship?

Me: It's called ____ (Not Christianity). We believe there are three main gods, a creator, a protector & a destroyer...

Girl: So, is Jesus one of those three gods?
Me: .............................. (speechless astonishment)
 
2006-07-02 08:56:00 PM
jay_vee: Almost everything he ever says is tongue in cheek.

Since he's a Brit, we Yanks assumed his tongue was in his boyfriends buttcheeks.
 
2006-07-02 08:58:06 PM
Sweet Jesus, that *IS* scary! We need to remedy this right away.

/needing a passport to buy a drink that is...
 
2006-07-02 08:58:50 PM
Rodeodoc

Since he's a Brit, we Yanks assumed his tongue was in his boyfriends buttcheeks.

It's funny because it implies he's a homosexual!

\Oscar Wilde? We thought you were dead!
 
2006-07-02 08:59:31 PM
You need a permit to do everything in America. You even need a passport to buy a drink.

If you're a foreigner, how else is a bar going to verify that you're 21+? Obviously they'll need a passport.
 
2006-07-02 08:59:51 PM
Rodeodoc: Since he's a Brit, we Yanks assumed his tongue was in his boyfriends buttcheeks.


Is that the first thing you thought of, cowboy?
 
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