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(Scotsman)   Non-smoking rules in Scottish bars come with unintended consequence: Millions of bloodthirsty flies coming in to bite drinkers, no longer kept at bay by clouds of cigarette smoke   (news.scotsman.com) divider line 61
    More: Amusing  
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7472 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2006 at 3:22 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-07-01 11:28:32 PM
In related news, Scottish screendoor technology is woefully lacking
 
2006-07-01 11:29:03 PM
Midgies! Those things are absolutely brutal in northern Scotland. You can't even go outside certain times of the day.
 
2006-07-01 11:42:44 PM
Doggie McNugget: Midgies! Those things are absolutely brutal in northern Scotland. You can't even go outside certain times of the day.

It is a farking CRIME that the Canadian Animation Festival isn't more widespread. I've only seen one of their annual compilations (at my dad's suggestion) and I will NEVER forget it.
Black fly, the little black fly
always the black fly, no matter where you go
I'll die with the black fly pickin' my bones
in North Ontar-I-O, I-O,
in North Ontario

'Twas early in the spring when I decided to go
for to work up in the woods in North Ontario
The unemployment office said they'd send me through
to the Little Abitibi with the survey crew

And the black fly, the little black fly
always the black fly, no matter where you go
I'll die with the black fly pickin' my bones
in North Ontario
in North Ontario
 
2006-07-01 11:48:56 PM
ain't these people ever heard of citronella?
 
2006-07-02 12:00:05 AM
Vin Diesel: Black fly, the little black fly

They played it on Cartoon Network's "O Canada."
 
2006-07-02 01:51:28 AM
ain't these people ever heard of citronella?

Yeah, because filling the air with creosote is soooo much better than cigarette smoke.
 
2006-07-02 03:05:46 AM
In related news, Florida fireworks also repel insects.
 
2006-07-02 03:29:37 AM
What you have to ask is, which is a worst death?

Emphysema or West Nile Virus?

At least with Emphysema you never have to get asked to play Softball for the company team.

I'll get any disease to get out of running.
 
2006-07-02 03:32:41 AM
evajyna: Emphysema or West Nile Virus?

West nile is the excuse the government uses to poison any water hole to supposedly destroy the mosquito..But they have not been destroyed yet after all these years..
So west nile an the flu are related..The sick and elderly have to be very carefull around both.
 
2006-07-02 03:33:01 AM
Oh wait, flies. Not mosquitoes. I scanned and inserted my own words. Sheet.

Fark this, I'm going to bed.
 
2006-07-02 03:50:01 AM
Midges... argh those little farks are brutal...
They dont buzz like mosquitos, so you dont hear em coming... they are much smaller, they travel in packs... and their bites itch like mad...
 
2006-07-02 03:55:02 AM
How unfair. Bug bites are so much itchier than cancer.
 
2006-07-02 04:08:09 AM
Yeah those black Flies are in Puerto Vallarta, and all over the Brazilian Amazon as well. They eat you alive and seem to be almost immune to bug repellent, not to mention the itching like hell and possible infection they cause.

Strange thing tho is I havent seen them in the U.S.. Given there is a hell of a lot of the U.S. I havent seen, so me saying that doesnt mean much.
So does anyone know where in the States these things are, if anywhere?

Would just be to weird if they were in Mexico, South America and Canada, but not in the United States.
 
2006-07-02 04:17:06 AM
jayday: I assure you, there are plenty of midges in the United States.

Folks 'round here more commonly refer to biting midges as "no-see-ums".

/hates bugs
 
2006-07-02 04:23:38 AM
The obvious answer is to drink more. The biting bugs bother you less when you taste like a gin distillery or brewery.

Downside: so do any non-yeti related women.
 
2006-07-02 04:31:55 AM
Midge machine? We call them Bug Zappers here.
 
2006-07-02 04:42:08 AM
Rethorn
Midge machine? We call them Bug Zappers here.

Nah... whole different machine... a no-see-um isn't attracted to UV light. Might be too small for the zapper to fry it anyway.
Bug Zapper:
images.google.com
Midge machine:
www.macdonaldshardware.com
 
2006-07-02 04:52:08 AM
In NZ nightclubs suddenly reeked of BO when fag smoke no longer masked the smell.
 
2006-07-02 05:35:54 AM
Oh, no. You mean that there might be a positive effect of secondhand smoke? That's unpossible.

I wonder if the American Indians knew about this.
 
2006-07-02 05:40:20 AM
Midges are an awful nuisance in the farming areas of Colorado ... for a few days, once in awhile.
 
2006-07-02 05:40:59 AM
Poor smokers, will they ever get a break?

Just think, for a thousand years, at least, people drank in bars and suffered through the biting bugs. Then along comes tobacco to make everything better. Now, it's all ruined.

Awwwww. Poor smokers. So angry. Why does everyone want to tax them and take away their right to smoke. I mean, it's a right, right?
 
2006-07-02 06:18:46 AM
NZ Bad Girl: In NZ nightclubs suddenly reeked of BO when fag smoke no longer masked the smell.

That problem occurs everywhere. On the upside, other people's BO doesn't stick on my clothes when I leave. On the downside, it can be a bit nauseating. And people letting one rip on the dance floor should be taken outside and shot.

Some establishments are experimenting with scented candles and stuff to mask the 'new' odors, but there's the allergy consideration again.
 
2006-07-02 06:23:21 AM
Dumle: Some establishments are experimenting with scented candles and stuff to mask the 'new' odors, but there's the allergy consideration again.


You're telling me. Cigarettes went a long way in covering up the farts.
 
2006-07-02 06:35:45 AM
Apparently, one product which gained a reputation as a good midgie-repellent was..... Avon's Skin-So-Soft. This is something I've heard from many different sources, and they've now brought out a bug-repellent based on the product.

Strange but true. I don't know if pubs smelling of Skin-So-Soft is a good thing, though...
 
2006-07-02 06:53:10 AM
Must be time for the bi-monthly smoking flame fest. Get it while its hot. Right here folks.
 
2006-07-02 07:00:40 AM
I am overrun with mosquitoes and wasps, so I spray them with a solution of 1 heaping tablespoon of laundry detergent in one quart of plain tap water.

Kills every insect I spray it on, costs about 5 cents a quart.

just call me oldheloise.
 
2006-07-02 07:05:18 AM
Now this is some funny shiat.
 
2006-07-02 07:23:59 AM
"Cooking smoke from a barbecue, I'm afraid, doesn't have the same effect because they are attracted by the heat from the cooking and by hot bodies around the barbecue."

Thread is useless without pics of hot bodies.
 
2006-07-02 07:32:26 AM
If you smoke around me in a nonsmoking area, i'm going to shove the cigarette in your mouth and make you swallow it.

/try me
 
2006-07-02 07:39:20 AM
Replacing the word midgies with midgets makes the article a lot better.
 
2006-07-02 07:48:54 AM
Laws almost never work out just as intended.
 
2006-07-02 07:52:50 AM
and todays "Internet Hard Man" award goes to Detour...

GG
 
2006-07-02 07:59:42 AM
Well, your in the bar to get a buzz!
 
2006-07-02 08:19:27 AM
"got the little bugger" I said as I planted my hand firmly on her sweet, sweet rear.
 
2006-07-02 08:20:43 AM
I rarely shower.
 
2006-07-02 08:20:54 AM
Lemongrass is a gentle & natural insect repellent.

I use Tahitian monoi oil as well.

Thread is useless without pics of hot bodies.

Reference vahines. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.
 
2006-07-02 08:30:10 AM
chaddsfarkprefect has it right, nothing repels bugs like having to bite through two weeks worth of dead skin cells and dirt. not to mention that your hair will take on much the same consistency as a japaness anime character.

no shower=win win
 
2006-07-02 08:30:38 AM
See? See? I told you my cigerette smoking was good for you, but all you did was complain and point out that this was a non smoking hospital and that the O2 storage was right behind me and that it could explode any minute!

You all owe me! Mosquitoes could have bitten those babies if I haden't been smoking in that nursery! You're welocome!

That said, do as the residents of Louisiana do: eat lots of hot sauce. Mosquitoes hate the taste and smell of people who eat hot sauce regularly.
 
2006-07-02 08:37:25 AM
What nobody has mentioned is that the midge-killing machines are in fact killing the midges. This is better than the smoke keeping the bugs at bay, because now there there are fewer midges around. Given how many pubs there are in Scotland this could make a serious difference in midge swarms, at least in the more urban areas.
 
2006-07-02 08:38:17 AM
Chainik Hocker: That said, do as the residents of Louisiana do: eat lots of hot sauce. Mosquitoes hate the taste and smell of people who eat hot sauce regularly.

Hell, I think that even keeps people away.
 
2006-07-02 08:41:27 AM
Yet another benifit of cigarrete smoking I forgot to mention!
 
2006-07-02 08:47:38 AM
Guy Necologist: Apparently, one product which gained a reputation as a good midgie-repellent was..... Avon's Skin-So-Soft.

It works well for most things except horseflies.
I prefer Off Active as it's sweatproof
 
2006-07-02 08:50:36 AM
Maybe we just call them something else down here but I have never heard of a midge. The only biting insects down here are misquitos and the occasional horse-fly. We do have bees, wasp, and yellow-jackets but I dont think thats what this is talking about.

Also body hair works as a good barrier against insects, so stop shaving and cutting your hair people.

/heh, anti-midge machine
 
2006-07-02 08:51:05 AM
IKillBugs: It works well for most things except horseflies.


Horseflies get called cleggs here in Scotland, and they are dirty vicious little bastards. I've still got the scar on my stomach from where a clegg bite got infected about twenty years ago. And from what I hear, every clegg bite gets infected. Vile things.
 
2006-07-02 09:32:15 AM
TheHoodedClaw: And from what I hear, every clegg bite gets infected.

Only if you scratch them.
Try Aftrebite, It helps. (pops)
 
2006-07-02 09:40:41 AM
detour well if you are not smoking ina smoking area i am going to blow smoke in your face repeatedly...

/try me
//militant non smokers are teh ghey
///grow up
 
2006-07-02 09:55:48 AM
Black fly, the little black fly
always the black fly, no matter where you go
I'll die with the black fly pickin' my bones
in North Ontar-I-O, I-O,
in North Ontario


Those little bastards! I used to plant trees in Northern Ontario, about 300 klicks from Thunder Bay. Jesus, you had to wear a shirt over your face, goggles, and a mosquito net, with your pants and sleeves duct taped. If your mask ripped, your face would be so swollen from those flies you wouldn't be able to open your eyes.
 
2006-07-02 09:56:58 AM
IKillBugs: Only if you scratch them.
Try Aftrebite, It helps. (pops)



Thanks. Do you know what the active ingredient is, because that brand isn't available over here?
 
2006-07-02 10:52:34 AM
Geeze, they better hope Moose doesn't find out...

www.archiecomics.com

http://www.archiecomics.com/acpaco_offices/askthearchivist/ask_february.htm

/Old School Comic Geek
 
2006-07-02 10:52:53 AM
TheHoodedClaw: Do you know what the active ingredient is,

Strangely enough, it's just a 3.5% dilution of ammonia with a few inactive ingredients.
 
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