"I found the audio to lack any substance and sounded completely amaturish."

Sum Dum Phukor 5th graders Who have 2 kids already

jwoelker: Is the Al Qaeda website XHTML and CSS compliant?

Why does Osama hate Lynx?

Pfft.

Lewis Black already did a joke about Bin Laden and Myspace, get a new joke submitter.

What the Fark is Rich Little doing in Afghanistan doing
voice overs for the dead Osama bin Laden(g*dhn).

Osama bin Laden? Does anybody still believe that guy is still around? Weapon of mass convenience, that's for sure.

Could someone please link me to the website in question? I wanna do an IP scan.

It's just JavaScript and CSS... It's not freaking rocket science!

Soon to come: Financing terrorism through pop-up and banner ads.

/facetious
//kind of...
///it could happen.
////slashiaty!

Is another body double?

Wait wait, I thought bin Laden was dead. Bad kidney??? Buried in rubble somewhere??? Ran out of water in a cave?? Something.

Wait, maybe this is a Bush plant. A fake! A CIA coverup! Yeah, it must be!

Or wait, maybe the CIA and Bush have bin Laden already and they are using him as some sort of evil Chatty Cathy doll!

/damn, conspiracy theories are easy as hell and hard as hell to come up with at the same time!

C'mon Bin Laden, go RSS. I'm sure al-jazeera would be more than happy to host it for you. Make it easy to send your messages.


//uh oh there's a knock at the door
// why are secret service agents looking at me?

The head sucks not only is it awkwardly written and way too long, Al Queda has been online for a long time.

sivazh: damn, conspiracy theories are easy as hell and hard as hell to come up with at the same time!

Screw conspiracy theories (pops). It's a lame catch-all label. And it doesn't take a tinfoil hat wearing whackjob in a mountain cabin to see how useful a sockpuppet would be to the War On Terra(TM).

Wait wait, I thought bin Laden was dead.

He probably is. But the fact that BushCo. hasn't made an effort to confirm the kill has made him immortal. Kinda like Elvis. But with guns. Oh wait....

GeorgeCostanza: somemoron: Are they gonna find their 72 virgins on MySpace?

Only if they're into guys.

I LOL'D

Bin Laden's on Facebook?? OMG! I'm so poking him.

Remember, according to the Democrats, there are no Al Qaida terrorists in Iraq. Zarqawi doesn't really exist. The American soldiers abducted by Al Qaida militants in Iraq last week, didn't happen. Iraq has nothing to do with the war on terror.

Democrats have become traitors to the war against Islamic radicals.

MichaelMoron
Remember, according to the Democrats, there are no Al Qaida terrorists in Iraq. Zarqawi doesn't really exist. The American soldiers abducted by Al Qaida militants in Iraq last week, didn't happen. Iraq has nothing to do with the war on terror.

Democrats have become traitors to the war against Islamic radicals.

No, no, no! Look, you need to flavor it more. When it's just retarded like this you won't draw enough interest to up the ire of many people, they'll just figure "oh look, another excited idiot jumping up and down." and sort of gloss over it. What you need to do, is make it look like a reasonable person would consider a democrat a traitor, not a whackjob. Then you're flaming with style.

Flaming is best medium rare. If you get it well done, you lose all the taste that makes people bite.

Dimmu_Burger: Come on, dude's got some problems with his internal organs and we're expected he can survive for 5 years livin la vida caveman? I don't buy it.

That's assuming he had kidney problems to begin with. Wasn't the CIA positive that Zarquawi was sporting a peg-leg for a while? Odds are that they were just pulling 'facts' out of their butts or making an indirect inference when they said Bin Laden had kidney failure, he probably just had the flu or something.

I hear the only way to get into Al-Qaeda now is if you get an invite - and they are being kind of stingy with them.

Dimmu_Burger: Will somebody please post the tape in question?


Where is this website they always talk about? I keep hearing about it, but I've yet to see any proof of its existence..

SingletonFactory: Yeah, but say each invitee gets 5 or so invites every week to give to friends. After enough suicide bombings, they're going to run out of friends. The invites would eventually start piling up and someone could write up a quick php "clearing house" program so that those who want an invite can get one.

/either that, or they could give 'em away on Far-Qaeda.

WHy the fark do they keep calling each other "lions"? don't they ever use any variety in their language? What about 'sharks of Islam', or maybe 'walrus of Allah', 'Al Queda's lizards that are really tough and eat other lizards'?

Well, that theory I had that al-Zarqawi was more of a wannabe al-Qaeda may be wrong, if Bin Laden comes out with a memorial tape. But perhaps it's a retroactive thing; he died a martyr, they'll use him.

Of course, I read on the Bagdad Burning blog what the Iraqis thought of al-Zarqawi; 'he won't be missed, whoever he is.'

Oh yeah thats right I almost forgot.
OBL is still alive.
We haven't got him.
Shouldn't that mean we are losing the war on terror?

Someone please with a masterful sense of with and sarcasm please make a myspace web page for OBL.

bravo, submitter

See now that has me wondering if, in fact, Osama Bin Laden has a myspace account, or a livejournal, or something along those lines.

"My current mood: grumpy. [:-E
Now listening to: James Blunt - You're Beautiful"

Or something like that.

FAKE.

Hey, anything to piss-off and confound Bush; I'm all for it.

Osama yo mama.

The guy doesn't exist.--

War is important for consuming the products of human labour. If this work would be used to increase the standard of living, the control of the party over the people would decrease. War is the economy basis for a hierarchical society.

They usually run these audio tapes by voice analysts to confirm that it really was OBL on the tape. I'm pretty sure they will conclude this to be authentic. However, since it was audio only, it sounds to me like OBL isn't looking so hot nowadays, let's hope he's not long for this world.

This thread is useless without pics/links/boobies.

okspeck
Well, apart from '84 being a *satire*, and modern low-level war actually consuming very little resources.

Osama is a media distortion however Globally, he only matters to a few fundamentalists, and the media. Perhaps in Afganhistan it is a differernt matter, but still.

Many sources claim is already dead.

too bad all the 'virgins' are the fat ugly ones. no way you can keep that many stocked and not have a few lifers on your hands

Bah. Seems there's always a tape relased before a major holiday weekend. Ho-hum.

Paranoid_Android: Well, apart from '84 being a *satire*, and modern low-level war actually consuming very little resources.

1984 is not a satire in any way shape or form. It and Animal Farm are both heavy based on the disillusion ment you can see in Homage to Catalonia where Orwell really saw the true face of Stalinism.

Who the hell is this bin Laden guy everyone is talking about?

How long before we start seeing his videos on YouTube? Seems like a logical step to me.

Larry the Fish - I lmao at that

Tell bin Laden to come pick the farking body up

Also, a mass funeral for Zarqawi = more targets.

Wofanoz Tell bin Laden to come pick the farking body up

And pay a fine for the release.

Did someone say Emmanuel Goldstein?

The Democrats must be creaming themselves over seeing their hero alive and well.

Today Osama has also released a new statement mourning the passing and celebrating the life of his hamster, Ahmed Zaeed al-Furry:

Osama's Place: It is today a day of mourning

"Howling Frog" noted earlier:

"The 19-minute message shows an old still photo of bin Laden in a split-screen next to images of al-Zarqawi taken from a previous video."

He's farkin dead, and has been for years.
Makes you wonder who's actually catapulting this propaganda.

Your Correspondent hath it on reliable authority that the CIA may be behind virtually every last man Jack of the "bin-Laden Tapes" as have circulated post-9/11.

And may have done so on lettres de cachet from His Fraudulency's Great Within (seconded by Faux News Channel) "just to keep people scared" by using bin-Laden as an ur-Emmanuel Goldstein, "The Enemy of the People," to direct said Hate "for patriotic purposes."

In any case, the angle of forgery (and deliberate such, @ that) may need to be looked into.

Yeah, maybe so. If only Pigs Could Fly.