Someone in soccer takes a dive? How is this news?

Lord of Allusions for the motherfarking win.

Brilliant.

It's all for you, Damien! It's all for you!

Lord of Allusions wins the thread.

Wow, such courage..what a real man. Italians are so goddamned over-dramatic. Especially Mussolini.

>he jumped from the window of his second-floor office

2nd floor office? He wasn't trying hard enough...

Second-floor office... fifty-foot drop to the parking lot...

What am I missing? Do you guys number your floors differently in Ye Merrie Olde Englande?

/that's gonna leave a mark...

I was watching one of the games the other day (Portugal v Netherlands, I believe), and I remember watching the Netherlands team pass the ball back and forth behind midfield for about 3 minutes straight. Fascinating stuff.

Bloody Italians - always diving.......

I remember watching the Netherlands team pass the ball back and forth behind midfield for about 3 minutes straight. Fascinating stuff.

Yeah, lacydog. I mean, in those three minutes, you could have watched almost 12 seconds of white hot NBA fourth-quarter action!

Not that i would suggest jumping 50ft but thats not much of an attempt.

I forget, but I think the 'first floor' is the floor above the ground level floor, rather than the ground level floor itself, across the pond.

So 2nd floor would be 3rd floor?

Been awhile.

You're all missing the best part of the article!

Pessotto [having fallen out a window] was "stable, given the gravity of the situation," the statement said.

That gravity's a real biatch sometimes.

Cranky Bastard: Ground floor, first floor, second floor....

Second-floor office... fifty-foot drop to the parking lot...

What am I missing? Do you guys number your floors differently in Ye Merrie Olde Englande?

Actually, yeah--in England the floors usually run "Ground, First, Second" instead of "First, Second, Third," though I've seen newer buildings marked the latter way.

Still, that's some building to have its third (second) floor 50 feet off the ground.

So, what's this "soccer" thing I've been hearing about?

Mr. Clarence Butterworth: Italians are so goddamned over-dramatic. Especially Mussolini.


"Blood alone moves the wheels of history! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation, which everyone finds during the day, how long we have been striving for greatness? Not only the years we've been at war ... the war of work. But from the moment, as a child, and we realized that the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle, a never-ending fight, I say to you. And you will understand that it is a privilege to fight! We are warriors! Salesmen of Northeastern Pennsylvania, I ask you, once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour! [Maniacal laughter] Yes! Yes!...

No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself! Some people will tell you "salesman" is a bad word. They'll conjure up images of used car dealers and door-to-door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, salesmen ... and women ... of the world, unite! We must never acquiesce, for it is together, together, that we prevail! We must never cede control of the motherland for it is Together that we prevail!"

--Dwight/Mussolini

/The Office, anybody?

Bravo, lordofallusions ...you are the "Man of the Match" in this thread.

Juventus manager, involved in major soccer match-fixing scandal, attempts suicide by throwing himself out office window while clutching rosary

It's been a while since I was Catholic, but the rosary isn't going to do a lot for a suicide. Then again I underestimate the power of a large enough check to the Archdiasis.

Um, if he's Catholic, and he had succeed and killed himself, wouldn't he go to Hell?

I tend to think he was defenstrated.

/Agnostic
//Been wanting to use defenstrated in a sentence for the longest time!

Close the thread Lord of Allusions wins

Ah, that makes more sense. I was visualizing a 45-foot ceiling on the first floor, or wondering if the building was built on a hillside.

/fifty-foot drop out of a third-story window still seems odd, though..
//ahh, screwit. ZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzz...

poor chap. i guess he was chosen the fall guy.

/nuttin'

Remember when it was just a game?

I'll take a yellow card for mistyping Lord of Allusions' name...

Kudos to lordofallusions for that one. Priceless. On a side note, how is there confusion around whether he tried to kill himself or not. I don't think this guy was walking around his office, reciting the rosary, then, OOPS, out the window. Most people jumping with rosary beads usually means they are trying to die and hopefully, by doing the rosary, god will have mercy on their soul.

Is there any way Juventus will compensate for my car?

I bet the goalies complained about how he wobbled in-flight too...

The Third Man

Second-floor office... fifty-foot drop to the parking lot...

Still, that's some building to have its third (second) floor 50 feet off the ground.

Assuming you count the first floor as zero, on the building I work at the "second" (i.e. the third) floor IS 50 feet of the ground. It's a museum with 25 foot tall gallery ceilings.

Of course the parking garage drops you off on the second floor, and I work on the second and a half floor. (Complete with the half-sized door behind a file cabinet I might add.) And you can't get from one side of the fourth floor to the other without going down to 2.

Sucks to be such a loser you can't even manage to kill yourself. Farking gun in your mouth, or if you're in one of those crazy places with weird gun laws, take a warm bath with a razor.

And remember kids, it's down the street, not across the road.

WolfinPHX

That was a cool "simulpost."

/Taoist myself, btw

otakucode

Sucks to be such a loser you can't even manage to kill yourself. Farking gun in your mouth, or if you're in one of those crazy places with weird gun laws, take a warm bath with a razor.

And what ever happend to leaping off good old fashioned bridges? If the fall doesn't kill you the water will.

Evil Twin Skippy: That was a cool "simulpost."

Indeed

/Taoist myself, btw

I'm getting there, but then again, maybe I never will.

Only an italian would be dumb enough to try to commit suicide by jumping from the 2nd floor.

So soccer is the only thing left for the italians to die for then?

Not that anyone actually cares but he wasn't the manager, Fabio Capello is. And I think LordofAllusion's joke loses some of its steam considering that it was in a headline earlier today.

The Australians only lost because in the final seconds, the Spanish ref called a penalty.

In the last seconds of the World Cup game an Aussie player was running near an Italian player when the Italian took a dive. The Spanish ref called it as the Aussies interfering with play and gave Italy the game, 1-0.

Match fixing in Italy and now this???

///Join the dots for yourself...

Dang... the car was just about to score a goal before it got blindsided by this dude.

/goes the other way with the word-play
//SO original

Do you know the way to Mordor

I thought the same thing. Look at how much is at stake at the World Cup finals, is it too much to expect that sometimes the refs are being paid off?

Also, FTA

"but Pessotto's name has not been linked to the affair."
Bet it will be now!! Considering how religious the Italians are, maybe he can say he was trying to atone for the sins of his club through his own death. Maybe that italy-australia ref can die for their sins too, actually for any reason really, doesn't matter so long as he's dead

The odd thing was he writhed around in pain for a while until the car was given a yellow card. After that he got up and walked away.

FUNNIEST.COMMENT.EVER

don't forget, it's down the road not across the street...

DO IT RIGHT!