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(Deadspin)   When more people have attended a single Royals game than signed up for a Mobile ESPN phone from February until May...well, you are the last swirl in the bowl before going down   (deadspin.com) divider line 53
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8957 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2006 at 4:03 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-06-20 02:40:24 PM
Hopefully it goes under so those damn annoying commercials will die, too
 
2006-06-20 02:44:35 PM
That's one hell of an attendance for KC. Season record?
 
2006-06-20 02:46:26 PM
The answer, quite obviously, is 11.
 
2006-06-20 03:27:43 PM
I think I read that the monthly charge for "full service" on that phone was something like $299.00.

If I'm paying that much for "full service" I better be at Madame Wong's Massage World.
 
2006-06-20 03:29:49 PM
Mr. Coffee Nerves: If I'm paying that much for "full service" I better be at Madame Wong's Massage World.

Are you not eager to view clips from ESPN 8 "Tho Ocho" whilst shopping for cheaply produced consumer good at your local friendly Wal-Mart?

You, Sir, are unAmerican.
 
2006-06-20 04:02:28 PM
i can't find any pricing info for the ESPN service?
it can't be $299.99..that's not even remotely acceptable.
 
2006-06-20 04:07:44 PM
Glad to hear it. Who needs to be entertained ALL THE TIME?

/oh, yeah. i forgot ... kids today
//GOML
 
2006-06-20 04:08:03 PM
being a kansas citian, they must have been using the total season attendance for the royals, no way that was a one game attendance.

/did RTFA, still think they got their numbers wrong
 
dly
2006-06-20 04:08:15 PM
Dr.Knockboots: i can't find any pricing info for the ESPN service?

http://mobile.espn.go.com/espnmobile/configurator/index.do
 
2006-06-20 04:08:18 PM
from their website, the top end plan is 200/month.
 
2006-06-20 04:09:34 PM
Not $300. More like $60 for modest cell phone service. One drawback has to be that there is only one phone model. Not sure who provides the actual mobile service either, though I heard that Sprint is selling the service now.

You're paying the exhorbitant fees for the extra sports stuff, and there's a very narrow market that will pay that kind of money for that information.

I can't imagine the info is all that detailed, either.

I've had friends that get SMS messages with baseball scores every couple of innings, but they don't pay near what the base cost for this is.
 
2006-06-20 04:10:59 PM
The Royals are going to turn it around. Just you wait and see. Then I shall have the last laugh and....

/nevermind
 
2006-06-20 04:11:11 PM
My thinking is that it should have appealed to those guys who enjoyed her having a flat head to rest their beer on....

...so...since I've got a moment...lemme check some scores.

Sounds like they'd go hand in hand if you ask me.
 
2006-06-20 04:13:14 PM
NewportBarGuy The answer, quite obviously, is 11.

I thought the answer was 42.

/not obscure?
 
2006-06-20 04:13:37 PM
Even for $60 a month you'd better be able to stick your dick in the phone and get off.
 
2006-06-20 04:15:41 PM
Hell, that would have been neat in 1993.

Inventing it years after you can already browse the Internet via cell phone is not the smartest thing.

It's kind of like trying to market those "word processors" that aren't exactly typewriters but aren't exactly computers.
 
2006-06-20 04:17:28 PM
I'm honestly surprised at the low sales numbers. I figured this would be a huge hit with the 40-something frustrated frat guys who hang around pro shops and answer their Sportscenter ringtone with a confident "Yo."
 
2006-06-20 04:17:29 PM
Hey, what was the name of that thingy Kyocera made some years ago that flopped? It was an all-in-one messenger, game, etc. etc. etc. before cell phones could do all of it.

Yeah. Anyhow, that was a joke, too.
 
2006-06-20 04:18:43 PM
Way to go, 4-letter.

*golf clap for product/marketing belly-flop*
 
2006-06-20 04:19:18 PM
The Mobile ESPN plan itself isn't that bad. For $40/month you get 400 minutes and the Mobile ESPN service with all the stuff they talk about in the commercials. You're not paying much at all for the Mobile ESPN service itself, as most providers start with a basic plan that's around 400 minutes for $40/month.

The problem is that you have to get a specific phone, some POS from Sanyo. People don't want to drop their current phone for a crappier phone just to get more sports stuff on their phone.

It's neat, but not that neat.
 
2006-06-20 04:20:02 PM
KiwDaWabbit: It's kind of like trying to market those "word processors" that aren't exactly typewriters but aren't exactly computers.


My Grandma had one of those. I remember being 8 and thinking "That thing's retarded."
 
2006-06-20 04:20:39 PM
The last nail in the coffin of Mobile ESPN is that it is now available through Sprint.
 
2006-06-20 04:21:05 PM
Man we have some dumbass baseball fans in this town. Wish they would show up in sheep skins...
 
2006-06-20 04:21:36 PM
Hmmm...I'm in Kansas City, too, and that number really doesn't seem right for a game that doesn't involve the Cardinals or the Yankees, but there it is on Yahoo sports, so I guess it's true. Maybe all the fans realized it was one of a few games we had a decent chance of winning this season.
 
2006-06-20 04:22:15 PM
Stupid asses. They would have sold millions if they only made it in the shape of a football, like the SI Football Phone that they used to give away in the '80s with a subscription.

/Still have mine.
//Somewhere.
///Maybe.
 
2006-06-20 04:26:36 PM
Jack31081

$40 per month? The cheapest I could find was $60. Not a good deal.
 
2006-06-20 04:30:44 PM
this isn't like your regular phone service! yea, I can do without that guy. maybe that's why it flopped. people saw his faace and annoying voice when they turned their phone on. That and the only ringtone you can get is the SC music. I knew it was a bad idea the moment it came out. Come on, this is 2006, I'm pretty sure there is a TV that has ESPNEWS on it somewhere within 200 yards from here, I'll walk, and avoid the annoying guy with the bad hair.

(I don't know if that ringtone thing is true, I just picture it happening.)
 
2006-06-20 04:30:53 PM
"according to people familiar with the situation."
Love those reliable sources.
 
2006-06-20 04:31:04 PM
it was a bad idea from conception, like the N*Gage.
 
2006-06-20 04:31:48 PM
Ouch, my team as the punchline yet again. But you just wait...Detroit was able to turn it around a few years ago, and so will we. Either that or I'll firebomb the Glass brothers' houses.
 
2006-06-20 04:32:53 PM
You know it really is a testament to how poorly this thing is doing considering how much they run that commercial on the ESPN's. I mean seriously, people will buy anything if it's on the TV; they have whole damn channels dedicated to selling stuff you wouldn't take for free if some guy was handing it out on the street, and they can only move 10k of these things? This is New Coke bad.
 
2006-06-20 04:33:58 PM
400 minutes for 40 bucks?I'm paying 45 bucks and getting 1500 minutes.
 
2006-06-20 04:34:34 PM
tkyle99: $40 per month? The cheapest I could find was $60. Not a good deal.

Look harder... it's $40 for the 400 minute plan. Of course you can get 1000 from t-mobile... but then again you don't get to be "cool".

/Sprint SERO user, if you must know.
 
2006-06-20 04:42:30 PM
Well if you use an inbred looking loser for commercials and make him out to be a stalker of your network, you shouldn't be surprised that it failed.
 
2006-06-20 04:44:12 PM
In a few years when she's old enough, I'm going to entertain my daughter with wild tails of ESPN broadcasting sporting events and MTV playing music videos. I'm sure she'll just nod her head and smile politely.
 
2006-06-20 04:44:51 PM
Well, maybe if they had introduced it when there's a bit more going on than Baseball and Hockey it wouldn't have flopped as bad. Seriously, maybe the late fall when you've got NFL, College Football, College Basketball, etc.
 
2006-06-20 04:47:20 PM
We never should have let Cookie Rojas off the team. Royals down since.
 
2006-06-20 04:51:15 PM
Who the hell would pay for that when you can use teh interwebs and watch friggin ESPN anywhere with a television...stoopid.
 
2006-06-20 04:51:47 PM
Damn...I never really looked it up before.

The top level-plan is $199 a month for 6000 minutes, BUT you have to buy the sports services one-by-one, and, for all of them plus text messages you're looking at $58.94/month plus tax on top of your monthly bill.

Maximum is $258.93 plus tax -- with sales taxes and state cell phone tax I think you can hit $300/month very easily.
 
2006-06-20 04:53:35 PM
re: the Royals attendance, they're talking paid attendance, which was indeed over 10k. Actual attendance may vary...
 
2006-06-20 04:55:03 PM
What ever happened to the good ol' days when you could watch Cinemax or HBO and see REAL movies 24 hours a day? And, now with ESPN and it's constant yammering about this mobile service and that Bobby Knight made for TV movie.

The concept behind cable TV and mobile internet access is simple; give us the stuff we want without all the commercials and shiat.

Why is this so hard for them to comprehend any more?

/now, get off my lawn you little bastards!
 
2006-06-20 04:56:34 PM
it's=its for all you spelling Nazis out there.

/..../...../so...why are you STILL on my lawn?!
 
2006-06-20 04:56:53 PM
That Royals game was a Buck night and a Fireworks night. That easily explains the attendance.

Those are the best nights to go to a game. I know the team sucks lately, but it's still nice to go to the ballpark and get $1 hot dogs, peanuts and Coke. Fireworks after the game are a bonus too.

I don't care how bad they are, I'll still admit I'm a fan. Can't just bail on them and jump on a bandwagon.
 
2006-06-20 05:09:07 PM
Nothing says "Sign up for this phone service" like cheaply-produced commercials featuring Mel Kiper Jr, who flatly delivered generic lines "First T.O. and now this?!?" looking like he would rather be in a Tajik prison being sodomized by a burly, hairy opium smuggler named Aziz.
 
2006-06-20 05:14:24 PM
Kudos to whomever above said "Who needs to be entertained 24/7?" I work for a big cable network group and they recently installed video monitors with looping trivia questions in the elevators. Seriously, the building is 8 stories high...if you need to be "entertained" as you go downstairs to get coffee, you don't need anymore coffee.
 
2006-06-20 05:14:46 PM
caknuck

Nothing says "Sign up for this phone service" like cheaply-produced commercials featuring Mel Kiper Jr, who flatly delivered generic lines "First T.O. and now this?!?" looking like he would rather be in a Tajik prison being sodomized by a burly, hairy opium smuggler named Aziz.

What Mel Kiper Jr does for fun in his spare time is his business so long as his hair is intact when he appears on my TV
 
2006-06-20 05:17:25 PM
Even as a Royals fan and a Kansas Citian, I still find Royals jokes funny.

/we suck
 
2006-06-20 05:20:41 PM
Is it CueCat compatible?

www.zapwizard.com
 
2006-06-20 05:41:51 PM
They would have sold millions if they only made it in the shape of a football, like the SI Football Phone that they used to give away in the '80s with a subscription.

Ha! Thanks for the flashback. My dad got one of those and gave it to me. I was never happier as a child.

Well, I probably was. I'm just using hyperbole.
 
2006-06-20 06:14:35 PM
You're not with me, Mobile ESPN
 
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