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(Scotsman)   Fertility clinic forced to close its doors after it runs out of sperm   (news.scotsman.com) divider line 110
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6422 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2006 at 10:57 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-06-04 09:02:13 PM
I'm sure they could restock enough for the next twenty years if they just asked all the Farkers...
 
2006-06-04 09:03:44 PM
man, just think of how much is wasted under the desks of farkers after a particularly high "boobies" submission day.
 
2006-06-04 10:21:06 PM
Listen.... Barbaro will be ready for action in 4-6 weeks, I have it on good authority.

/obscure
// because it has been a week
///tattoo'd Farkers have ADD
 
2006-06-04 10:21:50 PM
"man, just think of how much is wasted under the desks of farkers after a particularly high "boobies" submission day."

Holy cow, I'd be rich biatch. My hand would get sore though.
 
2006-06-04 10:35:33 PM
Just one Mariah Carey in a minidress picture would allow me to have over a year's worth of sperm.
 
2006-06-04 10:59:30 PM
Give me a six pack and a woman, I'll give that waterbed a workout.
 
2006-06-04 11:00:28 PM
I am needed!
 
2006-06-04 11:01:25 PM
Sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm sperm !!!!


www.spiralsolutions.net

 
2006-06-04 11:01:54 PM
Geesh, where was I?!! I damn near sprained my hand from "donating" this weekend. Opps...TMI.
 
2006-06-04 11:02:10 PM
lol@ there only being one sperm donor left in the country. ome day his army will be finished...
 
2006-06-04 11:02:41 PM
Sperm donors were no longer guaranteed anonymity, and now there is only one active donor in the whole of Scotland.

/And boy is his arm tired.
 
2006-06-04 11:02:47 PM
www.xs4all.nl

'Uh, I could use a little help'
 
2006-06-04 11:05:00 PM
God, just get my brother there. That's what he wants to do for a living, donate blood and sperm.
 
2006-06-04 11:05:09 PM
On 1 April, the law in the UK changed so that IVF children could go to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority and find out who their father is.

Sperm donors were no longer guaranteed anonymity, and now there is only one active donor in the whole of Scotland.

AAAAAAH! Wow, I can understand people not wanting the responsibility but.. ALL BUT ONE OF THEM? How many were there in the beginning? ._.

/not that I'd like to have this random person come to my door and be like "HI MOM!" while my husband and 2.5 children stare blankly
//honey, I can explain
///no not rly
 
2006-06-04 11:05:26 PM
"Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great."
 
2006-06-04 11:06:46 PM
"It's also really HARD for staff to have to WITHDRAW a service....."
Umm, these people have only ONE thing on their mind. Mmhm.
The sick bastards are like the the NFL, what with all their "TIGHT ENDS" and "PENETRATONS"....they're just a bit "ASS-HAPPY". Yeah....that's what I'm talkin' about.
 
2006-06-04 11:06:48 PM
I got your supply-based economic business model right HERE

/thrust
 
2006-06-04 11:07:13 PM
The amusing part is that there's only one active donor in all of Scotland.

I wonder if there would be more if they had sheep in the "donation" room at the clinic?
 
2006-06-04 11:08:23 PM
They should just order some Formula 401...

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2006-06-04 11:10:12 PM
Redsrevenge: not that I'd like to have this random person come to my door and be like "HI MOM!" while my husband and 2.5 children stare blankly
//honey, I can explain
///no not rly


I think you got something backwards...
 
2006-06-04 11:10:21 PM
Bo knows about fapping?
 
2006-06-04 11:10:50 PM
See, the problem is people want high quality sperm. This clinic is in Scotland. Sort of a supply shortage...
 
2006-06-04 11:11:28 PM
This sounds like a job for Nuke Laloosh!
 
2006-06-04 11:12:01 PM
The kitten holocaust resumes
 
2006-06-04 11:12:14 PM
Comming soon (pardon the pun), donors being sued for child support.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/586945/posts
 
2006-06-04 11:12:26 PM
NO Porker, Bo does NOT know about fapping.

/please people
//come on
 
2006-06-04 11:12:46 PM
Sperm donors were no longer guaranteed anonymity, and now there is only one active donor in the whole of Scotland.

And he's begining to show signs of chafing.
 
2006-06-04 11:13:15 PM
Good. Glad to hear it. I hope no one donates sperm anymore. The last thing this world needs is more goddamned people.

/Adopt fer chrissakes!
 
2006-06-04 11:13:17 PM
With only one sperm doaner left there could be a real danger of people farking their sisters in 16 years or so.
 
2006-06-04 11:14:35 PM
The Scottish sperm....hmm...doesn't quite seem to swim "upstream"....maybe a bit "erratic"?
 
2006-06-04 11:14:35 PM
I'll fire off some knuckle children for the cause.
 
2006-06-04 11:15:10 PM
"/not that I'd like to have this random person come to my door and be like "HI MOM!" while my husband and 2.5 children stare blankly"

!?!?!?

-So a woman can say she doesn't have any kids, heh heh, that she knows about
 
2006-06-04 11:15:12 PM
Well, that explains the skyrocketing kitten population in Scotland.
 
2006-06-04 11:15:25 PM
They should just put a cup under submitter's mom on the bus.
 
2006-06-04 11:16:00 PM
...you mean fertility clinics pay men to watch pr0n and put their semen in lab tubes so that dickless farkers can impregnate their MILFy wives....I am already scoring with a couple of broads from the office, both divorced. In my 30s, I am getting more ass than a toilet seat!
 
Rat
2006-06-04 11:17:17 PM
I could always just turn my keyboard upside down, and it'd be business as usual.

©
 
2006-06-04 11:18:30 PM
Dear Dialectic,

Please don't donate to any sperm clinics, despite what you may have heard about shortages.

Thanks,
All of humanity
 
2006-06-04 11:19:47 PM
Dialectic....I am already scoring with a couple of broads from the office, both divorced. In my 30s, I am getting more ass than a toilet seat!....Way to go...Nate Dogg
 
2006-06-04 11:21:37 PM
Hey here's a hypothetical scenario that is kind of disturbing, although unlikely:

Let's say some dude were to donate sperm to a clinic. Then let's say two women were to independently use that guys sperm and each have a child, one a boy, and one a girl. Then let's say that boy and girl (not knowing who their father is... this scenario isn't set in Scotland) were to get married and have kids.

Ewwww.

Solution: only allow either male or female sperm from each sperm donor, although I don't know how they'd only get one type of sperm. Left handed fapping for boys, right handed for girls?
 
2006-06-04 11:24:01 PM
Hmmm I see MasterPython beat me to it.

/beat
//heheh
 
2006-06-04 11:24:40 PM
-I can see it now: Recruiters plying underage boys with free porn and collecting the 'result' to sell on the underground jizz market. 'Cream Guys' with hidden test tube pouches sewn into their overcoats. 'Cum Runners' with mini-freezers in the trunks of their cars transporting the 'white gold' to black market fertility clinics where no questions are asked about where the 'product' came from. And runing it all is the biggest Spooge Lord of them all, Michael 'Ten Gallon' O'Shaunessy from his super-luxury yacht the Nocturnal Emission off the coast in international waters...
 
2006-06-04 11:25:04 PM
Lorena Bobbit wanted for questioning.
 
2006-06-04 11:25:07 PM
You know what would be hilarious? If people in this thread were to take this opportunity to imply that they masturbate a lot.

HAW HAW HAW!!!!!
 
2006-06-04 11:27:02 PM
Zap_Rowsdower: You know what would be hilarious? If people in this thread were to take this opportunity to imply that they masturbate a lot.

Of course if they imply that they don't then they would be lying.
 
2006-06-04 11:27:11 PM
"You ever bop your baloney?"
 
2006-06-04 11:28:13 PM
I'll be right over.
 
2006-06-04 11:29:20 PM
Billy... did ya ever see a grown man naked before
 
2006-06-04 11:29:29 PM
Amigajoe wins,

Thread Over.
 
2006-06-04 11:29:49 PM
The Bing: i love how an article about a fertility clinic brings out all of these groady confessions by farkers about fapping. we get it, you masturbate.

Fixed that for you.


judan: Well, that explains the skyrocketing kitten population in Scotland.

Were the kittens not dying when Scotsmen were getting paid to do it into a cup?
 
2006-06-04 11:29:51 PM
www.redneckworld.com
 
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