If they'd paint Ziyi Zhang's face on the front of that, I might crash on purpose.

why does it even have to "deploy" though? it looks perfectly comfortable just as it is.

Riders may want to scootch back just a bit on the seat.

the_unperson: it looks perfectly comfortable just as it is.

They could work with RealDoll to develop the Ride 'N Blow.

They could work with RealDoll to develop the Ride 'N Blow.

I'll take two.

Ok, you hit something. The bag deploys ripping your manhood from you so you don't hit the handlebars.

Who thinks of these things. Better yet, how exactly do they test them?

When I was looking for my bike, my buddy pointed out that "crotch" is probably just a PC term. Anyone with a penis is unlikely to be driving anything that looks like that.

I had to agree, Yamaha Scooters are more ugly than a Pontiac Aztek.

Both of us were very doubtful as to how a single model had been sold. The hot chicks in the store were there for the Dirt bikes. No one was looking at these god awful things, and I have yet to see one on the road. One did have a sold tag on it though, to our disbelief.

I would rather pay too much for a Vespa than ride that bloody thing.

How exactly do they test them?

On apes trained to drive scooters.

Nevermind that most serious motorcycle injuries involve your big head, when you crash.

Despite what causes the accident. Yamaha gives birth to ugly? period.

Yamaha introduces an airbag for your crotch, crashing your motor scooter was never so much fun.

Do they not even pretend to teach the use of the semicolon any more?

If THAT is the scooter they are going to put it on, then the bag is useless, cause I'm going to get punched in the crotch after I get off for riding that thing.

As one who's T-Boned a Jaguar on my old Honda VFR motorcycle, I can attest that having your privates crash into your gas tank is something you'll remember. This is definitely a good idea.

But if you're flying forward after, say, t-boning a Jaguar, won't the forward motion cause you to hit the crotchbag (hmm........) thereby upending you and throwing you over the handle bars? Especially if the detonation happens a millisecond late, it'd practically go off under your forward moving junk, lifting your ass end up and over. Or not.

Secondly, how in the hell does that thing deploy fast enough without obliterating your junk? It looks as though maybe instead of bruised nuts, you'll just have a hole punched in your crotch.

Thirdly. Mr.Casual wins points for making me laugh.

I had a side airbag deploy into my right arm's tricep because I was resting my had on the door handle. My arm was red and swollen for a day.
I don't think my balls can handle that much swelling for that long.

Not trying to ruin the crotch goodness, but by having that airbag deploy, wouldn't that cause your face to smash into the handles and wires and decrease your chance of flying off the bike and landing into a truck full of pillows?

/possible

ecmoRandomNumbers
I would totally buy a scooter if it wasn't so mocked in our society.

I'd buy one if I weren't so scared of the drivers around me. Drivers here in the west are scary.

Enough_Soup

Do they not even pretend to teach the use of the semicolon any more?


A what?


Is that like the jitterbug?

the first motorcycle airbag for your, er, tender nuggets.

Hmm. My airbag almost broke my gf's nose. She had 2 black eyes for a week. Count me in the "it would permanently crush your nutsack back into your body" crowd.

"I'll pass, thank you."

It looks like a boat.

The Smores package includes gramcracker kick panels.

This gives new meaning to the word crotch-rocket.

In other news that scooter actually looks kinda cool, at least better than the ones I see most of the jocks tooling around in up at school..

/I've always thought Yamaha made cool stuff, from the 350rd to the SHO engine, always trust the forks.
//Used to drive a 93 SHO it was a pain at times, but lots o' fun
///Wish I had an old 350RD

As a motorcycle rider, I have to say that is the dumbest, most useless invention I have ever seen. For the motorcycle, that is.

I was in a car crash at 45 MPH, the airbag left me with bruised ribs that cancelled my climbing season in April. I couldn't wear a heavy pack for 4 months. Can't wait to see what that thing might do to someone's nuts at 60 MPH.

If you crash your bike at 60 MPH, your nuts will be low on the priority list, trust me on this. I broke my collarbone going 5 MPH (goddamned farking gravel, stupid front brake).

strangeluck
contrary to popular belief, an airbag is actually in the process of deflating by the time your body parts are coming in contact with it.

for all those people who cited the damage they received from an air bag deploying I'm wondering how things would have played out if there was no air bag.

Oh, and for the record air bags have to be designed to allow for the possibility that the person isn't wearing a seatbelt (I'm talking about cars of course, not this scooter). This means that the air bag has to be much less specialized in order to provide maximum protection. All those people who got black eyes from their air bags can thank a lack of uniform seatbelt laws for their injuries.

And finally.....damn that picture scares me. I don't want to be riding one of those scooters just in case it inflates when I'm in the wrong position and nails my junk, propelling me several feet in the air in the process.

ivars
Honda's goldwing has a similar system, though not one aimed at your nuts. The idea is that in a front end crash, you are going off the bike/scooter anyway, and that the bag can slow the speed at which you go off. Honda's tests showed it to help lower the off speed and help prevent head injury. Not sure how it will pan out in real-world crashes, but only time will tell.

I'm so glad I don't have nuts.

geekybroad: I'm so glad I don't have nuts.

Neither will anyone riding a Yamaha scooter after they crash it :-/

SwapMeet

As one who's T-Boned a Jaguar on my old Honda VFR motorcycle, I can attest that having your privates crash into your gas tank is something you'll remember. This is definitely a good idea.

Had a similar accident myself. However, while I left a dent on the fuel tank deep enough to put both my fists in, the family jewels were undamaged. What did take the punishment was that big patch of flesh that sits over the top of your pubic bone. It was bruised for *weeks*, and made teh s3xx0r with the woman on top impossible.

/Would hate to have the same accident riding a cruiser

Scooters are like fat chicks; they are good for a ride but you dont want your friends to see you with one :)

Mr. Turbo - "Honda's tests showed it to help lower the off speed and help prevent head injury."

Interesting. I didn't know GoldWings had those. I guess we'll have to wait for "the data" to accumulate :-)

Yeah, the Honda Goldwing system, was announced last year, and is already for sale in the U.S.

http://world.honda.com/news/2005/2050908.html

OTOH, the airbag has been compared to landing in the crack of a giant ass. X-)
(See pics)
http://www.motorcycledaily.com/09september05_2006honda_goldwing_airbag.htm

Perhaps you guys won't need to buy that realdoll after all..
:)

i thought they surgically removed your "tender nuggets" when you bought a scooter.

slackist:Neither will anyone riding a Yamaha scooter after they crash it :-/

noone who rides a yamaha scooter has nuts.
...

/or is nuts altogether.

He looks like he has blue balls!

I just subscribed to the "Crotch" tag.

Thanks Gizmodo.

tsiros: noone who rides a yamaha scooter has nuts.
...

/or is nuts altogether.

Ever seen those scooters with beefed up (often illegal) engine jobs? When you see the speed at which those things go, yeah, I'd say that's pretty nuts.

All Apologies: Nevermind that most serious motorcycle injuries involve your big head, when you crash.

"Big head"?? Given that this is a groin-protection airbag, I'm sure there's a bell-end joke in there somewhere...

Personally, I want to know how many working orifices this thing contains.

Rogue10186: In other news that scooter actually looks kinda cool, at least better than the ones I see most of the jocks tooling around in up at school..

Is that what the male cheerleaders called themselves at your school? Jocks? On scooters?

/jus sayin'

Robert Plant was doing this decades ago....

Fluid
Ever seen those scooters with beefed up (often illegal) engine jobs? When you see the speed at which those things go, yeah, I'd say that's pretty nuts.

Larger (250cc +) scooters go plenty fast (150km/h +). What they lack is acceleration - particularly from a standing start - because of their transmissions, gearing and centrifugal clutches.

Actually, in the ~500cc models, their acceleration on the move - for overtaking - isn't too bad. I'd be happy to spend some highway time on a large scooter, they're very comfortable, quite stable at speed and have excellent fuel economy. Not so good in the twisties or dense traffic, though.

They need to work on a full body air-bag suit thing for motorcycles.
I think the nut-bag is more for low speed collisions seeing how at high speeds your going to go spinning off your bike and slamming into delicous aspalt.

anyone say cockpunch yet?

Gentlemen, an air bag for your ball bag!

/coffee?

Look at the size of that crotch air bag. They expect a lot from me, don't they?

2006-06-04 09:22:45 AM NotANinjaJustABox
They need to work on a full body air-bag suit thing for motorcycles.

You mean like this?:
hit-air

Maui Haui

Nah, it's the football players at my college, it's so they wont get "tired" walking to class from their on campus appartments or from going to and from their workouts to class... I still laugh when I see a 250lb dude gets onto his tiny little scooter to go to his next class across campus.