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(   Dumb: Robbing a grocery store. Dumber: Robbing the grocery store you work at. Fark: Showing up for work an hour later in the same car you were in when you robbed the store   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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6292 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2006 at 2:17 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

34 Comments     (+0 »)
2006-06-03 12:16:52 AM  
thank god for stupid criminals. Driving up police stats since the beginning of time.
2006-06-03 02:14:37 AM  
This reminds me of when I was a brand new supervisor, our boss wouldn't let me hire (and choose) my own crew. He allowed another - older and more experienced supervisor hire MY people. I'd only been there three months and worked on special projects. I was showing this guy up all the time and he hated me (you know, something about DOING your job... it wasn't hard).

One of the new guys that he picked 'just for me' was a total asswipe. Me - "move those boxes to storage" him - "you mean you want me to pick them up?"

He didn't show up or call on the third day. The receptionist told me later that he called within the week to ask about filing for unemployment!
2006-06-03 02:19:32 AM  
Wow, and this wasn't florida?
2006-06-03 02:27:23 AM  
"This is a stickup ! I want all the money from the register ... and my paycheck ..."
2006-06-03 02:33:55 AM  


Boss: I can't pay you this week.

Idiot: Why?

Boss: Some idiot robbed the store and we have no more money in the vault.

Idiot: Aw man...
2006-06-03 02:34:40 AM  
It's a dumbass marathon!
2006-06-03 02:37:21 AM  
What a farking idiot.
2006-06-03 02:48:08 AM  
DaCricket: Wow, and this wasn't florida?

Yeah, but it WAS Kansas. And Wichita at that.

/not surprised
2006-06-03 03:02:58 AM  
Hopefully his dad gave him a second beating for beign such a retard.
2006-06-03 03:13:54 AM  
I knew a guy in high school that robbed a store 3 blocks from his house that his family had been going to for 20 years. He did it in his dads very distinct classic car with vanity plates and parked right in front of the door where the security camera had a very clear picture of the car. needless to say the police knocked on his door about 15 minutes after the robbery. did I mention his dad was a sheriffs deputy? We never let him live that one down.
2006-06-03 03:26:46 AM  
It reads to me that a poor dumb 17-year-old was being used by some older, shadier "friends". The "co-conspirators" had neither jobs nor cars, so they needed to use his to get cash for meth.

Hey, it could have happened the way I just made up.
2006-06-03 03:30:13 AM  
Haha, I used to work for Dillon's. AKA KROGER.

That store is on the edge of the ghetto and richy areas. Although the rich people are smart and shop at the one on 37th and Woodlawn.
2006-06-03 03:33:39 AM  
I went to HS with a guy who got jugged for calling in a bomb threat to the IRS. From his desk at the IRS.
2006-06-03 03:37:56 AM  
Ha Ha Ha..... I've never seen that one - Dumb/Dumber/Fark thing before, do we perhaps have a new (another DEAD) fark "CLICHE"?

How about Farksliche?

Or how about - give it a rest - find a new catchy thing to do w/headlines.
2006-06-03 04:06:07 AM  
What's worse: Cliche headlines or people complaining about them?
2006-06-03 04:12:21 AM  
shrimper, it's brand new. No one has ever used that format before in a headline. Ever. Good work my friend, you will rule this world as the overlord of fark cliches.
2006-06-03 04:50:36 AM  
motion for an offical kansas tag...
2006-06-03 05:03:32 AM  
shrimper: give it a rest

Boy, this reminds me of something I read somewhere:

Regular Fark readers will notice several in-jokes that appear often in the daily batch of Fark. Drew has an odd sense of humor where he enjoys taking something funny, beating it into the ground, getting its second wind, then beating it into the ground etc. It's just what he does, we're stuck with it.

/welcome to Fark
//get with the program or get out
2006-06-03 05:23:02 AM  

I for one welcome our new....

Oh, never mind.He'd probably 'complaint' about that.

2006-06-03 05:38:01 AM  
Now, how did the submitter know the suspected robber/employee showed up for work one hour after the robbery? The article does not mention a time frame... Is the submitter the second dumb fark who robbed the store?
2006-06-03 05:45:50 AM  
This says a lot about the state of education in the United States of America.
Kansas... isn't that were they teach the bible as fact?
2006-06-03 05:55:15 AM  
where's is this "Kansas". you speak of?

(If you guys cared enough, you'd see that I'm floridian, and this Kansas BS is isulting my Jimmet Buffet roots)

....Does not take rocket to know this.
2006-06-03 06:19:58 AM  
They should pass a law to add another 5 years for being stupid.
2006-06-03 08:39:13 AM  
Does not take rocket to know this.

What does it take a rocket to know?
2006-06-03 08:41:12 AM  
Dumb: Ending a written sentence with a preposition.
2006-06-03 09:10:42 AM  
When I worked at a fast food joint in Cali years ago, we got robbed at gunpoint. As soon as the cops showed up, I told them who to look for. He worked for us and was a total asshat. His car was found at the back end of the parking lot, his cousin was apprehended after shooting himself, and he was found casually walking down a street 3 blocks away in a neighborhood he didn't live in. But of course, "It wasn't me!! I was just walking here for no reason!" I testified, he spent the next 5 yrs in jail learning to answer to "Susie" when called by his daddy.

Years later, I get a call from an author writing a "True Life" murder book about some poor kid just convicted and sentenced to life for murdering two friends over drugs. It seems he had been wrongly accused and sent to prison at the tender age of 17, thus beginning his downward spiral into a life of crime. Guess who??

I was there. I have no doubts about who pointed a gun in my face that night, and neither did the jury. What an asshat!
2006-06-03 09:28:13 AM  
What about the bankrobber who upon receiving the loot was asked by the teller that,in any case, he had to sign for the "withdrawal".

/Judy Tuneta (sp) "It can happen"
//proably has.
2006-06-03 11:15:17 AM  
This guy just made it to Darwin's short list.
2006-06-03 11:19:39 AM  
Hey 13th and woodlawn, that's the Dillons we used to get drunk and go get munchies at like 2 AM.
2006-06-03 12:33:18 PM  
LoganWexler: Dumb: Ending a written sentence with a preposition.

Common English non-errors (pops)

See "Ending a sentence with a proposition: not an error."
2006-06-03 01:00:21 PM  
ha ha ha ha
2006-06-03 01:23:52 PM  
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Someone change my pissy diaper.

Fixed it for you.
2006-06-03 02:27:04 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2006-06-03 03:55:55 PM  
13th and Woodlawn is 45 beat, a real suckhole.

Patrol North isn't noted for its sophisticated criminal class. Most of the the robberies and larcenies up north involve no pre-planning, just an impulsive urge to obtain crack money.
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