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(Yahoo)   The wrong way to dry a wet baby   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
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42648 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2006 at 9:59 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

169 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-06-01 06:53:11 AM  
And yet people claim stopping those with lower IQs from reproducing is "against their human rights".
2006-06-01 06:58:22 AM  
14 months old?

She should have fought back harder...My sister sure did.
2006-06-01 07:06:03 AM  
I put my Cell phone in the dryer once to dry it out (it had already been through the washer). worked pretty well.

/almost the same?
//Probly not.
2006-06-01 07:34:58 AM  
When I was a kid our new kitten took a nap in the open dryer. Then my mom dried shoes. We were told the kitty died "in her sleep" overnight.
2006-06-01 08:49:32 AM  

When I was a kid our new kitten took a nap in the open dryer. Then my mom dried shoes. We were told the kitty died "in her sleep" overnight.

When my friend was a kid he helped his mother tidy up the kitchen by putting the cat in the oven alongside a pie she was cooking. He was told the thought was nice, but never help tidy up again without asking. The pie was ruined.
2006-06-01 09:01:06 AM  
Hey, at least he didn't put the sprog in the microwave.
2006-06-01 09:01:21 AM  
Well, would someone PLEASE explain the "right" way? I've got wet babies all over the place, and I'm fresh outta ideas.
2006-06-01 09:01:47 AM  
Sounds like something someone would do on PCP.
2006-06-01 09:03:34 AM  
cwick: Well, would someone PLEASE explain the "right" way? I've got wet babies all over the place, and I'm fresh outta ideas.

Put them on a rack.

/I've got babies on racks!
2006-06-01 09:07:53 AM  
Make sure you use the gentle cycle.
2006-06-01 09:15:02 AM  
Maybe if you put enough dryer sheets in there with them?
/I hear Bounce is a good brand to use
//so, so sorry for that.
2006-06-01 09:21:24 AM  
Without clicking I would guess in the microwave.
2006-06-01 10:03:44 AM  
Those Aussies!!
2006-06-01 10:04:12 AM  
My guess is that he was mad at the kid for getting wet (probably spilling something, or playing with a tap), and he put her in the dryer to teach her a lesson.

So my vote is not just for stupid, but stupid and mean. A common enough combination, IMHO.
2006-06-01 10:04:41 AM  

I know I shouldn't laugh at this, but this is the funniest article I've read all day. I don't think this is any crueler, though, than the baby smasher.

[image from too old to be available]
2006-06-01 10:04:49 AM  
Note to self: always, always, always put the baby on the clothesline.
2006-06-01 10:05:10 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-06-01 10:05:43 AM  
cwick Bastard!
[image from too old to be available]
I really wanted to be first. Dammitall!
2006-06-01 10:07:11 AM  
Well at least he didn't use a flame thrower or a heat gun to try and dry the baby...that's at least something.

Give him credit, he probably put it on delicates.

Don't let him near a blender..

/One ticket, aisle seat please
2006-06-01 10:08:10 AM  
2006-06-01 10:10:51 AM  
The mother had no clue this guy was a re-re when she left her kid with him?
2006-06-01 10:10:58 AM  
Sorry bigjoel! It's extremely rare I come up with a)something even moderately funny and 2nd) before someone else has. Just my lucky day.
2006-06-01 10:11:12 AM  

Well, would someone PLEASE explain the "right" way?

The only socially acceptable way is via the sizzler. This generates the necessary amount of heat to dry the baby. It is generally free from prosecution, since people tend to claim the parent has already "suffered enough" and therefore doesn't require jail time. The sizzler is the only socially approved postnatal abortion method.
2006-06-01 10:11:28 AM  
Hey, dryer rides are fun. And if you have one of the cool ones with a window you have something fun to watch.
2006-06-01 10:11:58 AM  
This event took a week to hit the local news and almost another to reach Fark. wtf?
2006-06-01 10:12:24 AM  
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2006-06-01 10:12:35 AM  
ok i like dead baby jokes as much as the next guy, but when it comes to people doing things like this in real life it really disturbs me. i want to punch this asshat so hard in so many places.
2006-06-01 10:13:07 AM  
Famous last words: "WWWaaaahhhhhhhh.... thump"
2006-06-01 10:14:59 AM  
I could swear that this was going to be another Britney Spears story.
2006-06-01 10:15:45 AM  

i want to punch this asshat so hard in so many places.

Punch him? Hell, this person is so stupid, the people that bred him should face punishment of death.
2006-06-01 10:16:50 AM  
Oh, that's nothing. Here in Virginia we put our babies in microwave ovens.
2006-06-01 10:17:05 AM  

When I was a kid our new kitten took a nap in the open dryer. Then my mom dried shoes. We were told the kitty died "in her sleep" overnight.

When I was about six, our hampster escaped his cage and shredded himself a new nest in the clean clothes sitting in the washing machine. Somehow, my mom transferred him into the dryer along with the laundry without noticing.

We were told "At least Frisky will be all nice and clean for Heaven."
2006-06-01 10:17:14 AM  
shiate... my sisters did this to each other (older put the younger in) as kids and they were fine

/they feuded for 14 years, any wonder?
2006-06-01 10:17:20 AM  
Crikie - Putting a weewobble is a twirlyloo is just wrong!
2006-06-01 10:18:55 AM  
I don't think he could have blamed this one on the dingoes.
2006-06-01 10:19:06 AM  
Why didn't he just hang her outside on the clothesline?

Unless they live in a place that don't allow those solar-powered devices.
2006-06-01 10:19:21 AM  
2006-06-01 10:19:36 AM  
A commercial could be made out of this.

The Scene - A toddler screams as it tumbles in a dryer. A proud man looks in on it.

Voiceover: "Ingenuity"

Cut scene to can of Foster's being slammed down.

Voiceover: "Beer. Foster's. Australian for beer."

/C'mon, you Aussies, you're smarter than this.
2006-06-01 10:19:45 AM  
How many dingoproof safeholds are there in the typical Australian home? Dryer sounds like a winner.
2006-06-01 10:23:01 AM  
My older sister and I used to play hide and seek. I always thought my best hiding spot was inside the dryer. She never found me! Years later I found out she'd tell me to go hide, and then she'd just watch TV until I popped in saying "haha, you didn't find me!"
2006-06-01 10:32:28 AM  
Q: What's short and bubbly and knocks on doors?

A: A baby in a microwave
2006-06-01 10:33:00 AM  
I'd think it would be easer to just immerse the infant in a vat of silica gel overnight. You know, the little granules that come in those packets that say DO NOT EAT on them... I mean, I must have accumulated 20 gallons of the stuff since I found my first bonus packet in some merchandise I bought many years ago.
2006-06-01 10:35:12 AM  
But mommy I hate daddy's guts!

Shut up and eat around em.
2006-06-01 10:35:35 AM  
"A lint-trap et ma baby!"
2006-06-01 10:35:58 AM  
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?

A: 2 scoops of ice cream, 2 scoops of dead baby.
2006-06-01 10:36:21 AM  
Your baby will be much fresher if you dry it like this:

[image from too old to be available]
2006-06-01 10:36:34 AM  
The worst part was the static cling, though.
2006-06-01 10:37:09 AM  
This thread is making me laugh too much to stay out of hell.
2006-06-01 10:38:56 AM  
Even if the baby had survived, it likely would have ended up with Downy's Syndrome.
2006-06-01 10:39:25 AM  
My neighbor's cat in our duplex and a favorite cat of mine jumped into my dryer unbeknownst to me. When I finally figured out what the thumping was, I ran into the laundry room. The howl from the opened dryer was blood curdling. Then Jed jumped out, very pissed off and less one of his nine. Whew.
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