"Oops I crapped my pants!"

President Bush unveils the new NSA warrentless UFIA program.

"There's a growing trend among U.S. veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars -- homelessness. Wait!"

"Anyone who voted for me is an idiot."

I uh got um caught a fi... a perch and we uh had to you know uh go to uh war cause uh my uh my uh fellow mer.. uh.. mericans uh are uh settled no us unsettled and us um we uh have to uh fight terror with uh um terror umm uh yeah.

Hooooooooooooooo (Ho!)
You's a hoooooooooooooo (Ho!)
You's a ho
I said that you's a hoooooooo (Ho!)

I'm the decider, no wait... the unificator, no.... the decider.....no.... the unificator......ah hell- MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

So Laura and I were playing "HOOKER IN THE CLOSET" the other night, and she grabbed it like this, and ....

"..............9/11.................."

His mouth is open, so 9/11 was said somewhere.

Ook.

DUH! I'm a Budweiser-drinking, hillbilly redneck just like the whole rest of the stupid country! Before you know it I'll take over the world, and there isn't a damn thing you or anyone else can do to stop me, you get it? I will OWN YOU ALL!

Ooh ooh ooh, ah ah ah!


/cause Bush is a monkey, see...

This is my O-Face.

"Don't worry. Coke-jaw isn't contagious."

"In order to maintain the dignity of the office of President, I hereby resign immediately and order references to my failed administration erased from all records and stricken from memory."

"No wait, I'll get it right in a minute. Noocular!"

"This would be so much better with a photoshop tag."

NO MONICA! This is how you do it!

You actually think I've been doing a good job?

And DickC says "slap that mofo, big boy." And I'm like "Yo, don't you be slapping that prime beef bro"

RED ROCKET RED ROCKET RED ROCKET!!!!!!!

There's a lady fellating me under the podium. Go ahead, impeach.

Leeeroy!

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo

No one! I said no one!
Im talkin' about no one!
I said no one!

No heart, no soul
Not working at that goal
Im talkin' about no one
I said no one

No love, no hate
No someone to emulate
Im talkin' about no one
I said no one

Grow old, knowing, always believing, never doubting that there's...

No one! I said no one!
Im talkin' about no one!
I said no one!

Not living, not dying
Life just means surviving
Im talkin' about no one
I said no one

No cost, no gain
Not worth going insane
Im talkin' about no one
I said no one

Grow old, knowing, always believing, never doubting that there's...

No one! I said no one!
Im talkin' about no one!
I said no one!

No pain, no remorse
Emptiness just a matter of course
Im talkin' about no one
I said no one

No world, no fair
Lost hope I no longer care
Im talkin' about no one
I said no one

Grow old, knowing, always believing, never doubting that there's...

No one! I said no one!
Im talkin' about no one!
I said no one!

/props to minutemen

I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll BLOW that country away!

... so I bent over for the Exxon dude behind me, and put my lips like this for the Halliburton guy in front of me. And that's how I became president!

Whoo!

...."and then i was like.. oh shiat, that dude is really farkin a donkey"

....

terrorism
freedom

"To all the global warming, 9/11 conspiracy theorists, polar reversal, self-loathing liberals losers out there... either get a job or start practicing a little of this..."

C, C is for cookie

"Oh NO you didn't go there! Just you wait until I get back to the White House! I'll send your ass to Gitmo and then you'll find out what kind of torture...wait, is this thing on? Crap! Uh...I mean, I respectfully disagree with you, Ms. Garafalo, but I support your right to speak your mind!"

Your president is experiencing
technical difficulties.
Please standby.

And I said to the president of Japan, "Domo arigato Mr. Roboto."

"oh shiat, hey Dick look at that! How, wait, How's he doin, what the? Oh my, Hey Karl, take a look at this! Holy Osama, is that, I didn't know people could bend like that. I mean is that really...
"Wait Dick isn't that your daughter?"

"Okay, one more time. GASSING KURDS BAD. TORTURING CHILDREN BAD. VOTING GOOD. Has it gotten through your heads yet?"

"i blame myself"

"End of side A please flip to side B"

George pulls an Ashley Simpson...

THE EGGS ARE HATCHING!!!!

Suck it!

This is the face I made when I walked in on Jeff Gannon
having buttseckswith Karl Rove!

Whoooo's your Daddy?!"