Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Orgasm patch to help older women shiver with delight   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

11524 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2002 at 9:20 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

78 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-06-12 07:17:41 PM  
"Orgasm Patch??? That was my nickname in high school. Go figure.
2002-06-12 07:40:04 PM  
"At the end of the eight-week study, the Estalis patch was associated with a increase in ability to have orgasm, intensity of orgasm, ability to have multiple orgasms, sense of control/timing of orgasm and a sense of relaxation and well-being after orgasm, as compared with the two oral therapies," it said"

Bah, all that means is that they're using the wrong oral therapies.

sorry, it's been a long day.
2002-06-12 09:23:44 PM  
fark the patch, they just need to spend a night with Zeke
2002-06-12 09:24:06 PM  
Fb- is the inventor? The headline made me shiver with disgust.
2002-06-12 09:24:07 PM  
I'll be happy about this one day, I'm sure. But until then ... ewww
2002-06-12 09:24:33 PM  
All these women need is a real man (or hopefully woman)with a long tongue and a flat head
2002-06-12 09:25:03 PM  
Menopausal symptoms include declining sexual function, hot flushes and night sweats, disturbed sleep and memory loss. Women also run a higher risk of developing osteoporosis

Sooo glad to be a man.
2002-06-12 09:25:38 PM  
People working in nursing homes everywhere vomit simoltaneusly (sp?)
2002-06-12 09:26:36 PM  
"Larger and longer investigations are under way to verify these results, if you know what I mean" the company added in a statement.
2002-06-12 09:28:00 PM  
"Larger and longer investigations are under way to verify these results, if you know what I mean" the company added in a statement.

2002-06-12 09:28:35 PM  
I've seen something like that, but this one was connected to a car battery.
2002-06-12 09:29:04 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
I love it!
2002-06-12 09:29:12 PM  
the timing is right

these new technologies will ensure that I grow into a dirty old man
2002-06-12 09:30:06 PM  
So a woman went to her doctor and says, "every time I sneeze I have an orgasm." Doctor says "What are you taking for it?". "Pepper."

2002-06-12 09:31:39 PM  

Imagin you get you smoking patch mixed up with this. Next thing you know you, addicted to sex. And having better smokes...

(phear my spelling)
2002-06-12 09:31:51 PM  
Shouldn't this have a "Hero" tag?
2002-06-12 09:32:19 PM  
"I'm shivering with delight."
2002-06-12 09:32:29 PM  
Nursing home workers are gonna love this.
2002-06-12 09:32:40 PM  
Novartis said more than a third of women over the age of 50 may need treatment for these symptoms by 2005.

Eh? So, are they implying that there wil be some vast increase in the number of menopausal women by 2005, or that post-menopausal sexual dysfunction will get worse by 2005?
Or simply that once this patch is available, suddenly everyone who was fine before will "need" this treatment now? ;)
2002-06-12 09:34:17 PM  
Still no cure for cancer?
2002-06-12 09:35:55 PM  
if it gives me more orgasms I'll slap one on now
"hero" tag indeedy
2002-06-12 09:36:00 PM  
"Imagin you get you smoking patch mixed up with this. Next thing you know you, addicted to sex. And having better smokes..."

-No, the smoking patch is for AFTER the sex patch.

-If you put one of these on a 17 year old girl ,would she explode?
2002-06-12 09:36:21 PM  
I wonder where you stick it.
2002-06-12 09:39:23 PM  
Not sure this is a good thing, what with artificial insemination, personal 'massagers' and now this patch. Sounds like my willy's only going to be good for peeing out of soon.
2002-06-12 09:39:52 PM  
No! I Know! You take the chemical thats in these patches and put it in CONDOMS! KaBlamm! ;-)
2002-06-12 09:40:49 PM  
And if its doing this for women with menopause...think of how it might affect younger women...

2002-06-12 09:41:21 PM  
Amigajoe: The chemical's probably estrogen. You sure you want that on your jimmy hat?
2002-06-12 09:44:25 PM  
From the Novartis website:

Estradot, the smallest transdermal patch in the world (the size of a postage stamp!) and its use of the patented DOT Matrix™ technology

9 or 24 orgasms per patch?
2002-06-12 09:44:26 PM  
"That cure for cancer ? Ummmmmmm.....right after we work out the FDA approval on those Breast Implants for pets."
2002-06-12 09:46:11 PM  
Denison, my guess is these are actually testosterone patches.
2002-06-12 09:46:56 PM  
"fark the patch, they just need to spend a night with Zeke"

The question is, would you want to spend a night with these lovely old ladies?
2002-06-12 09:50:20 PM  
It would either do nothing or cause organ failure since estrogen is pretty reactive, and young women already make all they need. Think Vitamin K overdose. I figure something similar would happen.
2002-06-12 09:50:21 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

I'm only 23 but I am already feeling much better...there is hope for when I can't get my freak on anymore :)
2002-06-12 09:51:33 PM  
Good call, Geotomi.
Zeke, you can have all the lovely old ladies you want.
Except for the rich ones
2002-06-12 09:53:25 PM  
Really, they just send Patch Adams over to visit.
2002-06-12 09:53:44 PM  
Now here is my question... what happens when completely healthy women who are able to normally have orgasms use these patches? Are we talking no major difference or hair trigger clitori for women all over the world?

If it is the latter I know what I am getting all my female friends this Christmas season :)
2002-06-12 09:55:26 PM  
Fine, let the steam out of my shower...
2002-06-12 09:58:30 PM  
Never know Llarken they may using some different method that will make it "useful" to pre-menopausal women. Much like viagra can be "useful" to women who fark men who do not have erctile dysfunction.
2002-06-12 10:11:07 PM  
Cool. I dig 50'sish chicks.
2002-06-12 10:17:50 PM  
I'm posting my ewwwww face. Just imagine it.
2002-06-12 10:26:04 PM  
yea yea just wait. pretty soon they will find out that this patch lets some people see through walls. then they will have to go back and fix it, come out with orgasmo-patch version 1.5

hmmm... hey. now that they have a orgasm patch you can walk yourself down to the clinic, have birth control implanted in your arm, slap on a nicotene patch, and a orgasm patch and be right as rain... now where is that stupidity patch?

... did I mention boobies?
2002-06-12 10:26:22 PM  
Hey, so she's 50 years old. But, she has the body of a 70 year old........
2002-06-12 10:26:50 PM  
When you done with the deed, you can roll it up and smoke it.
2002-06-12 10:28:07 PM  
In future news: farkettes busted for running a huge distribution ring for orgasm patches. Story at 11.
2002-06-12 10:29:48 PM  
Somehow I think my wife would still prefer the "oral therapies."
2002-06-12 10:30:14 PM  
Well this should make a great gift for SweaterGirl, considering her age and all... ;)
2002-06-12 10:32:36 PM  
The Chemical is not Estrogen you retard. The chemical directly responsible for making you horny is Testosterone. There are 1000 different variations and any combo would probably work. In low enoug doses women would become sexually hightned while not encountering any side effects...
2002-06-12 10:36:27 PM  
whats all this about orgasm? Everyone i touch seems to get all they want :) Any farkaritas want a sample?
2002-06-12 10:37:33 PM  
SLF: Good one. You are, indeed, insane.
2002-06-12 10:38:43 PM  
rofl Divad
Displayed 50 of 78 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.