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(Sydney Morning Herald)   The "how-to's" of going to a school reunion, No. 44: Do not go up to ex-jocks and say, "Bag my groceries"   (radar.smh.com.au) divider line 362
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36356 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2006 at 11:43 AM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-05-17 03:41:25 AM  
More like, "Didn't I see you bagging my groceries".
 
2006-05-17 03:49:10 AM  
WTF is wrong with bagging groceries?
 
2006-05-17 03:51:06 AM  
Dag! Dag dag dag! The article writer thinks you're cool if you say 'dag' over and over again! What a dag.

/WTF's a dag, yo?
 
2006-05-17 04:03:16 AM  
I'm not sure, but I think I beat that farker up in High School.
 
2006-05-17 04:06:52 AM  
Zabbadizzat: I'm not sure, but I think I beat that farker up in High School.

Was that before or after I de-pants him in the parking lot?
 
2006-05-17 04:24:32 AM  
I had semi serious post typed up but then realized I used the word interesting 3 times in one paragraph. So I'll just say I have my reunion on the 27th. It's going to be interesting.
 
2006-05-17 04:25:03 AM  
EdgeRunner: /WTF's a dag, yo?

It's aussie slang.... Like nerd, I guess. If you dressed badly you'd be called 'daggy'. The term is getting kind of old though. I'm 25 and my parents would use the term, though I probably wouldn't in normal conversation.

Literally though, a dag is "A lock of matted or dung-coated wool." Yep, a bunch of wool and shiat hanging from below a sheeps arse.
 
2006-05-17 04:32:44 AM  
So...A "dag" is like a "dingleberry"?

I'm sure glad I wasn't one of those.
 
2006-05-17 04:34:15 AM  
daggleberries sounds like a breakfast cereal.

made of poo.
 
2006-05-17 04:38:03 AM  
...a bunch of wool and shiat hanging from below a sheeps arse.

Note to self: Never order a Dagwood sandwich in Australia. Especially not from a shepherd with a warped sense of humor.
 
2006-05-17 09:06:05 AM  
By the way, if you're planning on going to your high school reunion and you're a professional assassin, for the love of God, take your damn gun with you. Don't just assume somebody's going to give you an impromptu weapon to use against your nemesis when he attacks you.
 
2006-05-17 09:15:43 AM  
capecodcarl

By the way, if you're planning on going to your high school reunion and you're a professional assassin, for the love of God, take your damn gun with you. Don't just assume somebody's going to give you an impromptu weapon to use against your nemesis when he attacks you.

Werd.

i.timeinc.net
 
2006-05-17 11:50:30 AM  
"If you were a science nerd, an arty weirdo, a school musical chorus member or any other playground category other than "cool", be proud. What may have been perceived as weird, unorthodox, or ludicrous in year 10 may now be appreciated, even adored - and rewarded with large amounts of money."

Uhh no. While some people might have changed or "grown up" a bit, maturity wise, since high school, there are a ton of people who haven't, and to those people, you're still a nerd, geek, wierdo, dork or whatever and its not cool as chugging beers and watching sports all day.

People with issues project their problems onto other people.
 
2006-05-17 11:51:14 AM  
I guess I was lucky... I had a great time at my 10 year, and I was single waiter in a room full of successful lawyers and such. I was there to have fun and laugh, not reopen some secretly nourished social wound that I had been storing in my soul for the moment I could "wreak my revenge."

Sad, sad people in this world.
 
2006-05-17 11:51:32 AM  
by dag they mean Total Farkers.
 
2006-05-17 11:51:50 AM  
Is "lick my bag" still acceptable?
 
2006-05-17 11:52:06 AM  
I never got a change to say that to the jocks at my 10-year HS reunion. They were busy drinking their sorrows away at the local watering hole talking about (again) the times they scored 4 touchdowns in one game to there eye-rolling girlfriends.
 
2006-05-17 11:53:29 AM  
Recently skipped my 10 year reunion. I'm quite glad I did.
 
2006-05-17 11:54:36 AM  
How 'bout...
Didn't I see you tea baggin some dude out back...
 
2006-05-17 11:55:11 AM  
I enjoyed how old some of the former preps looked at my 11 year reunion (yea, we missed our ten so we had an 11 instead).

My favorite was the gal at my reunion who said she was working in the film industry in New York. Actually, she worked for a company that loaned money to, among other things, some independant filmmakers.
 
2006-05-17 11:55:40 AM  
Eh.. Anyone who I wanted to keep in touch with after high school, I've kept in touch with. Reunions are for the hopelessly insecure at any stage in life.

/It's 10-20 years after high school and you're still measuring yourselves against your HS classmates? Yikes.
//Voting?
 
2006-05-17 11:56:16 AM  
I LOVE the ex-jocks from my class.

To a man, they are all fat-asses now. And bitter. And alcoholic.

I mean, i'm bitter and an alcoholic ... but at least i'm svelte, baby!
 
2006-05-17 11:57:00 AM  
I miss all the dags and the snog-fest horrors of the end-of-year formal. So many high school memories that I don't understand.
 
2006-05-17 11:57:32 AM  
I'm lucky I get to avoid that whole reunion thing. I just quit high school and got my GED.

/easy way out, farkers
//vote for me, class president!
 
2006-05-17 11:57:52 AM  
I was pretty well liked in school, but I will be avoiding reunions like the plague.

I'm still in touch with the people that I actually cared about. Fark the rest of them.
 
2006-05-17 11:58:16 AM  
Man this brings up something I saw yesterday. I made a MySpace page so I could read a good friend of mine's blog. Well some loser from HS found it and left a nice comment. Calling me a fatty fag, etc. Funny considering I'm not gay. Oh well. he's the one who is still under 5 foot tall and thinks partying all the time is the meaning to life right? Making me not want to go to my 10 year reunion in a couple years. Some people never grow up I guess. Sad really.
 
2006-05-17 11:58:21 AM  
Man, if the coach would've put me in in the fourth quarter, we would've won state! Back in the day, I could throw a pigskin a quarter mile!

/Actually, we DID win state (1999)
//I could throw 50-55 yards (not bad)
///Now I'm a 'former athlete' who only runs to the fridge
////I won slashies at state!
 
2006-05-17 11:58:24 AM  
this got green lit?

I was totally expecting fights at some reunion

oh well
 
2006-05-17 11:58:36 AM  
Skipped #10 but may go to #20. Unless there's a good game on that weekend or something...
 
2006-05-17 11:58:59 AM  
We're considering going to my wife's 15 year HS reuinion to find out who's a grandmother.

Think about it. If you had a kid at 16, and your kid had a kid at 16, 32 year old grandma!

/very plausable, she's from rural NY State.
 
2006-05-17 11:59:21 AM  
I have my 20 next year and I am a ex-jock turned IT nerd...who do I pick on?
 
2006-05-17 11:59:43 AM  
I got a note from my reunion committee for my 5-year reunion, back in 1989. I sent it back and told them I'd moved to Ghana and had no interest in coming back to the States.

Haven't heard from them since. There is a god.
 
2006-05-17 12:00:32 PM  
Funnily enough the top scorer on my high schools basketball team works at a grocery store now stocking shelves.
 
2006-05-17 12:00:48 PM  
Did you have a crush on the spunky head prefect? Did you want to kiss that quiet maths swot with the brunette curls and the enormous feet? Or did you burn in private fury after incessant teasing from the netball captain and her limpet coterie?

She read my mind!
 
2006-05-17 12:01:33 PM  
"Eh.. Anyone who I wanted to keep in touch with after high school, I've kept in touch with. Reunions are for the hopelessly insecure at any stage in life.

/It's 10-20 years after high school and you're still measuring yourselves against your HS classmates? Yikes."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Agreed.

Go to have a good time for a different experience. Don't go there caring what people think of your or to judge their accomplishments.

Besides, is it just me or didn't most people in their own grade get along? It was always the upper-classmen who were jerks. I think almost everyone in our class (~250 people) got along well.
 
2006-05-17 12:02:44 PM  
I had a blast at my reunion, and actually have gotten back in touch with some cool people from high school that I didn't even know lived in my city. I'd say that's the best outcome possible from a reunion. One of my BEST high school friends (with whom I'm also in much better contact with since the reunion) had massive issues with high school and has gone on to become a surgeon. For some reason, our reunion did NOTHING to assuage her feelings about the people that "done her wrong" back in the day. So my words of advice would be this: if you had issues with high school (serious, deeply-rooted ones that is) your reunion won't help change those. You'll just have to let those go on your own. If you don't have anything to fix by going, go ahead...and you probably won't have too bad of a time.
 
2006-05-17 12:02:51 PM  
Why the fark would anyone go to their high school reunion?
 
2006-05-17 12:03:40 PM  
What the hell's a snog-fest? Is this in English, or is just coincidence that I understand a few of the words?
 
2006-05-17 12:04:20 PM  
The 10 year reunion is all about bragging. How much money you make, the trophy girlfriend/wife, how wonderful you are. By the 20 year, reality sets in. By this time, you don't care what other people think and just want to enjoy them. You've either made it or you haven't. And every reunion after that, you're all just glad you're still alive.
 
2006-05-17 12:04:25 PM  
A limpet coterie? She hung out with shellfish that cling to rocks?
 
2006-05-17 12:04:25 PM  
whether you were a cool person or a dag.

ffmedia.ign.com

"Dags, ye like dags?"
 
2006-05-17 12:05:49 PM  
i skipped my 10-year reunion because we had to pay for it. i'm not a cheap person, but i didn't care enough about anyone from my class to pay for the privilege of hearing about what they've been up to for the last decade.

i wasn't a dork or anything, but i was far from being popular. i thought all the chicks at school were sluts... looking back now i wonder why i didn't bother to determine if they were or not.

/damn
//guess i am a dork
///Rampart '92 - fark you
 
2006-05-17 12:05:53 PM  
51. The wedgie is even funnier when you do it to a 40 year old ex-classmate (especially if he's an accountant). Your grasp of post-modern comedy will also impress the ladies and most of them will offer to sleep with you.
 
2006-05-17 12:06:17 PM  
No. 44: Do not go up to ex-jocks and say, "Bag my groceries"

No. That is stupid and predictable. It'll only end up backfiring.
Here is end-all insult (assuming you really are successfull now, and are desperate for some form of revenge on an age old wound).

Bring about $30 in singles to the reunion. Don't fold them together, but ball them up individually, so it looks like a lot more money than it is. Find the jock/nerd/bully/whatever you feel compelled to humiliate. Find out what they do. Then, take out that fist-full of wadded up cash, and throw it in their face at point blank range, yelling "You're so poor" or something to that effect. Laugh maniacally, continue to insult and point as they pick it up.

Feel better? Good. Now drive yourself to therapy.

/a vote for me is a vote for leaving baggage behind.
 
2006-05-17 12:06:22 PM  
High school reunion advice No. 53: If you're going because you hope to revive a high school romance, lower your expectations.
 
2006-05-17 12:06:35 PM  
Yeah, I like dags.
 
2006-05-17 12:06:47 PM  
I can't possibly recommend going to a reunion. I had my ten year last fall, and by all indications I should have enjoyed it -- I was a borderline nerd who is now happy, succesful, good looking, and obviously very humble.

The problem is, you can only enjoy that sort of turnabout if you are the kind of person who wants to go someplace and brag about yourself for several hours. I'm not that kind of person, but most everyone else who goes to a reunion is, so it ended up being three hours of trying to make conversation with insufferable asses who still think they rule the town.

Anotther thing to consider is this: Ypu think there will be some interesting stories out there, and there will be, but think about it: Anyone who is doing something TRULY amazing with their life probably doesn't have the time, inclination, or emotional need for revenge to come to a hugh school reunion. And the burnouts, the people who have REALLY hit the skids, which was honestly what I really wanted to see -- well they don't come either, for obvious reasons. So you're getting the dullest of the dull. Yourself included.
 
2006-05-17 12:07:19 PM  
on the juice


I have my 20 next year and I am a ex-jock turned IT nerd...who do I pick on?


The Computer Science nerds will probably pick on you.
 
2006-05-17 12:08:38 PM  
on the juice: I have my 20 next year and I am a ex-jock turned IT nerd...who do I pick on?


Yourself! And you don't even have to go to the reunion to do it!
 
2006-05-17 12:09:12 PM  
hmartin80

I am from Atlanta and now live on the beach in Florida. I have a myspace page and some people from high school who bullied me and I haven't talked to in years have actually e-mailed me to ask if they could crash @ my place to party...

WTF?

I didn't like you in high school, why would I like you now?

I'm torn about going to my 10 year reunion. I was that middle range popularity kid who hung out with everyone, but didn't have a "circle of friends". I played football and was involved in Drama / Broadcasting, not a good mix for high school.

I enjoyed College much more.
 
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