You know what? The souls of children taste like marshmallow peeps!

"Unicron... why?!?!"

Arby's?

"Dear America:

Thanks for falling for eight years of this!

Love,

Dickie C"

"If we're going to the beer store,I call Shotgun."

Of course Ann Coulter has a penis! True story: We were drunk a couple of years ago at the Bohemian Grove and I said, "Ann, how did you get in here? This place is for men only"?

...I forgot to mention we were in bed together at the time...

Suddenly I felt something sliding between my butt cheeks. I thought it was Limbaugh back there foolin around again! She proceeded to screw me for a couple of hours!

True story!

"No way they'll notice this tremendous dent in my forehead."

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10010001001000101010111010101010010101

10010001001010101010100101101001110100

10100101011111011111001101010101010010

GOD I just LOVE the smell of my own FARTS. GOD!!!!!!

"Man, I just took a great dump."

"Dubya sure uses his mouth well."

"Was that gas or solid....?"

"I just farted."

They'll never catch me, but Rove is farked. What a major league asshole.

/now with voting enabled
//doh!
///mods, please...

"I'm, too sexy for my shirt..."

"After I get this picture taken, I'm gonna go kick a puppy."

you know he looks like my uncle, anyways here goes.....

"I don't need AARP, I don't need this medical care bullcrap."

"Guess who I just shot"

As soon as this photgrapher leaves I'll see if I can get my testacle unstuck from this chair.

"Well...that's my momma"

"I could just shoot an old man in the face about now."

HA HA, I hve more money and a bigger dick than you, now get out peasant

DING!! Fries are done...

"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!"

"Now watch this drive."

Smoke.

Crush! Kill! Destroy!

"I am smiling, you asshole, now take the goddamn picture before I have you sent to Gitmo. Do you have any idea how much po-- OH shiat, I'M HAVING ANOTHER HEART ATTACK."

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

--William Shakespeare, King Henry VI

Go ahead, impeach Bush.

I don't know why this happens, but every time I raise the left half of my mouth, my left eye lowers. It's like some kind of freaky vanishing point technique. Either that or my face is pointing in the direction of oil. Just to be on the safe side, I'm going to follow the direction that my face points me. I'll be rich! RICH!!!! Well, richer than I already am, anyway.

"Would you like to touch my penis?"

BUTTSECKS?

My real name is osama bin ladin

Dick "Wait until tommorow night."
Dubya "Why Dick, what are we going to do tomorrow night?"
Cheney "The same thing we do every night Dubya, try to take over the world."

This is how humans smile, right?

Badger, badger, badger, badger. Mushroom, mushroom!

"A census taker once tried to test me."

/fft-fft-fft

Hey Colbert just wait until Rupert buys Comedy Central.

"Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."

/Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

I'm a big dumb moron with a big butt.

Gorbachev was never this sexy.

I shall call him.... MiniMe.

Silent, but deadly.