Well, I could have asked precisely 2 of those dumb questions. So I won't laugh at the people who asked the other ones.
Davide

This is getting ridiculous. Where are all the good links? Where is the originality? Now every farking post here is Cosmiverse & weeners doing gay searches on Goole. LAME!

Goole = Google

Every single one of these questions makes perfectly good since when you realize these people must of thought that Alaska was a Canadian province.

I think American tourists are generally agreed to be the most stupid in the world. My favourite is the "Oh you live in Bristol? Do you know my cousin Andrew?" variations.

"4 weddings and a funeral" had a nice touch as well, "No, I don't know Oscar Wilde personally, but I can introduce you to someone who can give you his fax number."

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

I was a study abroad advisors to undergraduate students at a big 10 university. American ingorance of geography and world events knows no boundaries. These are actual comments/questions from *supposedly* bright college students.

*Can I study abroad in Hawaii?
*England's part of London, right?
*What do you mean I can't fly to Chechnya to watch the fighting? I won't get in their way or anything. Besides, I'm American, they can't touch me!
*I don't care what the culture in Ecuador is, I'm jogging on the streets of Quito in my sports bra!

At night Niagara Falls diverts water, to fill reservoirs, to make electricity. They can also just about stop the water over either side when some wacko decides to go over in a barrel. Tell some tourist looking at all that power that they turn it "down" at night, and they simply don't believe you.

Speedfreak
I think American tourists are generally agreed to be the most stupid in the world. My favourite is the "Oh you live in Bristol? Do you know my cousin Andrew?" variations.

Hahaha, reminds me of the one beer commerical.

"Hey, are you from Canada?"

"Yes."

"Do you know Glen from Canada? He works in an office in Canada, plays hocky, says eh a lot"

"Oh yes, office Glen, he's dead"

......Wow, our culture is based on beeer commericals, I have mixed feelings about that.

true true these posts are getting lame, I submitted one about some Florida criminals that tried to steal an ATM. One of the perps was using a clear plastic bag over his head, and everytime he inhaled the bag stuck to his face. but since im not one of the regulars it didnt get posted. I say WTF!?!?!?! instead we get some recycled email that someone put on a webpage that 98% of us have already seen. FARK this.

Pulsarcat: He's not dead, he's pining.

Eh?

Would peeps quit the "every thread complain about fark" trend. C'mon, just ride the wave. Say something funny. Drink boobies, show you beers... or something...

I'm playing the drinking #fark game right now. Yaaaaaaaay

I love being a stupid American. I'm allowed to be this because none of the other countries of the world matter. They really don't. This isn't arrogance but a simple truth no one wants to admit.

It's like a small dog nipping at your heels. "Hey I'm and my country used to be great 1000 years ago. McDonalds, Hollywood, Walmart, blah blah blah... sucks. Please listen to the important things I have to say. I studied more in school than you stupid Americans. Hey, I get five weeks vacation every year. I can locate more cities on a map than you".

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Alaskans are pretty snooty, Can someone explain why the feel that dont have to pay sales tax ANYWHERE?

Some were pretty funny. I do have to agree that, on the whole, American tourists are dumber and more easily spotted than any other group. Germans come in a close second, though. I was just in Paris for a week, and I thought my IdiotScope (tm) was broken. My wife and I kept pegging people as American tourists, then they'd walk by speaking German.

Pulsarcat: Sorry - an attack of the Monty Pythons there.

My mate lives in Bath, the world heritage city, and his brother runs a B&B there. They had a US couple there who at breakfast asked, "So what is there to see in Bath?"

He told them there was a McDonald's on the high street.

as for stupid tourists, I'd vote Japanese. WTF is with the cameras? How can you POSSIBLY have time to watch all of that video footage. And if you push me one more time, I'll toss you onto the third rail.

I don't know if American tourists are dumber so much as more vocal, I mean, there's tons of stuff I don't about other countries and people.

Hell, maybe it means they have more balls than I do.

While they have the

"I don't know, but that won't stop me from talking"
mentality, I have the

"I don't know, I'd best just shut the fark up"

Perrin:
Hahaha, I saw a group of Japanese tourists here take pictures of a muddy truck once.

And hey, where'd you get your user name from?

I heard of the guy who lived in New Mexico and wanted to buy tickets for the Atlanta Olympic Games....he called the Olympic ticket office (or whatever it's called) and submitted his request only to be told by the lady on the phone that he had to buy the tickets in his own country. He said he was in New Mexico, not Mexico, and she said "Sir, New Mexico, Old Mexico, it really doesn't matter..." Oi, people these days.

I live in Tasmania, which is an island state of Australia. It's kinda like a down-under version of Alaska - the outlying provincial state mainlanders like to poke fun at.

Once when I was booking a flight to Melbourne the girl on the booking line asked me if I had a current passport. I laughed openly and loudly.

And one summer when I was relaxing at the Gorge (local swimming spot) with my mates, we heard one American tourist remark to the other "Gee, you know it's just so beautiful, you could almost believe it was real."

I don't know what tourist guide they were reading, but it should be burned.

I live in a very touristy state, and I can say that when I worked as a bartender people who lived outside of the U.S. were the worst tippers...

Some of these don't seem stupid to me :-

9. Of course there is the travel agent in Florida who told my mother not to forget her passport when visiting Alaska. (G. Jones)

- You may have to travel *through* another country to get there.

10. "Let's go to the post office and get some Alaskan stamps." (JP Somer

- Why's that stupid? They might well have their own stamps. Or not. How would anyone know without finsing out?

12. [ferry passengers, several times!] "Which side of the boat do the whales come up on?" (Colleen Easley)

-- Assuming there *are* wales, why is it stupid to want to know that?

27. [in Barrow]"Why are there so many Orientals here?" (J. Lindell)

-- Well, if there are, what's wrong with asking that?

42. [Northworst counter agent in Minneapolis] And does one need a passport to get there from the U.S.? (Rich Ahrens)

-- Well, does one?

48. "MD" queried in rec.travel.usa-canada: "This summer I plan on driving to Bristol Bay, AK from my house on Long Island, NY. I was hoping someone could give me some real general info about routes you may have taken, sights to see, things to do, what to bring, etc."

-- Maybe I'm missing something here, but what's wrong with that?

FLA_Chickie:

Best not to start that Americans tip vs the rest of you don't argument again. It'll only end in tears. ;-)

Pulsarcat: Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time. my favorite character.

To the people who complain about the articles on fark: STFU. Don't like it? Leave or keep trying to get things submitted. Hell, I've been here for years and I've only got 5 posted. Deal with it.

Funniest things I've heard from people asking about Denver:
"So, do you ski to work?"
"How did they build Denver in the middle of all thouse mountains?"
and the best one, asked in july: "How much snow have you got?"

Are you really joking, JBB?

12. [ferry passengers, several times!] "Which side of the boat do the whales come up on?" (Colleen Easley)

-- Assuming there *are* wales, why is it stupid to want to know that?

Exactly! Because, you know, whales are completely predictable creatures who always know to come up on the same side of a boat at the exact same time every day so as to please the tourists... ;-)

48. "MD" queried in rec.travel.usa-canada: "This summer I plan on driving to Bristol Bay, AK from my house on Long Island, NY. I was hoping someone could give me some real general info about routes you may have taken, sights to see, things to do, what to bring, etc."

-- Maybe I'm missing something here, but what's wrong with that?

Because he's asking about traveling from Arkansas to NY in a USA to Canada travel group..... geography 101, mate..

8. [asked in July]" What time do the Northern Lights come on? (G. Jones)
Geesh. How many people outside of Alaska know that the Northern Lights happen only in the winter? (Although the use of "turning on" the Northern Lights designates an idiot.

9. Of course there is the travel agent in Florida who told my mother not to forget her passport when visiting Alaska. (G. Jones)
Makes sense. What if there's a problem with the flight and they make an emergency landing in Canada. Or gets hijacked to Cuba.

13. A Juneau cabbie tells me a woman passenger asked him if they turn the waterfall off at night. (Colleen Easley)
Niagara Falls in New York/Ontario gets "turned down" so to speak at night by diverting water to help turn electric generators. It's called hydroelectric power. See Hoover Damn.

16. [on float plane landing approach] "But where's the airport?" (Dennis Harris)
Someone tell Dennis Harris that there are float planes in the rest of the country as well. Not as many, but still. I'll give him partial credit about this person being an idiot.

26. "Where are all the penguins?"(Joe Sonneman)
Hey, even Gary Larson of the Farside got this wrong, showing polar bears and penguins together. But ultimately it is a idiotic question.

32. [On a tour of the Trans-Alaska Pipeline] Don't those barrels make a lot of noise going through the pipe? (Gerry Liebling )No wonder people are scared about drilling in ANWR. They're idiots.

35. [Reply from a New York supplier who I queried on U/Alaska letterhead] "Sorry. We cannot sell to Alaska. We do not have an export division." (Ed Gauss)
Yes an idiot for saying that they don't export to Canada. But maybe they only ship to the Contiguous United States. Or "Lower 48"

48. "MD" queried in rec.travel.usa-canada: "This summer I plan on driving to Bristol Bay, AK from my house on Long Island, NY. I was hoping someone could give me some real general info about routes you may have taken, sights to see, things to do, what to bring, etc."
Yes, of course EVERYONE IN THE WORLD knows that Bristol Bay is somewhere that can't be reached by car. WHAT AN IDIOT [/sarcasm]

51. A reporter from the Lower 48 asked about the Talkeetna Moose Dropping Festival: "Just how high do they drop the moose from anyway?"
Well, that could be a funny question to ask. Hopefully they weren't serious. But I would definately rather see a Moose drop than Moose droppings.

Ooh ooh, and here's the best Tasmanian one...

At a wildlife park's Tasmanian Devil enclosure, an American was heard to beseech the park ranger...

"Make it spin, make it spin!!!"

This is real life, mate. Not a cartoon.

Mr Mike: That's irrelevent. This is a yank-tourist bashing thread.

I used to work in a tourism office in Nova Scotia. We used to get some doozies. People just did not get that Canada, too, is a real country with real infrastructure... "do y'all have banking machines up there? OH! you DO?"

i just coldcocked Perrin

i was just coldcocked by Bug

oops, i mean "export to Alaska" in # 35.

I shall read up on this Proofreading concept.

Perrin:
Heheh, I thought so, excellent series, I'm on book 9 my self. Mat has to be my favorite character.

Hey Bug, don't coldcock Perrin

Pulsarcat:
Mat is awesome, Rand is just bland at this point. I have to go with Perrin b/c of the axe. Gotta respect a guy with an axe.

Veritas, that wins hands down.

Humans are stupid to anything outside their own world.

If it doesn't effect their daily lives it doesn't matter. That is all.

I love it when cruise ship tourists come to newfoundland and get pissed off when they find out that noone lives in igloos and shiat.

Stevarooni

D-OH!

/slinks away

It's surprising how many people visit Australia and seriously expect to see kangaroos hopping all over the city streets and stuff. I've even been asked several times by different tourists if we ride kangaroos to work.

uh...no.

Veritas: "Make it spin, make it spin!!!"

Hahaha, thanks for making me laugh uncontrollably this morning....

Seriously, we can't expect tourists to know EVERYTHING about an area they're visiting. That's why they're tourists, not locals. When an internation visitor asks me if we have McDonald here, I can hardly control my urge to burst out laughing, but it's not really such a silly question coming from someone who knows very little about our culture/society.

That said, of course, when someone in Melbourne asks me for my passport for an interstate trip, they get a DUMBASS tag from me. ;-)

Why do cruise ship passengers turn out to be the most retarded of all holiday makers? When I worked on one recently that went to Ocho Rios, Jamaica, I was often asked "If we are climbing the waterfalls are we going to get wet?" I kid you not. Sometimes the same person would have to confirm this 'getting wet' a few times. Let alone the time I was asked, do the crew live on board........

Rand was hands down my favorite character for the first three or four books.
Mat has to be my favorite now because of whole
"What? I've got a destiny to fulfill? fark it! I'm going to go drink, gamble, and pick up women"

And, so this isn't a totally irrelevant post.

Hey, Americans, you want to easily spot a Canadian tourist (for whatever reason)?
It's easy, go down to some famous place (perfect example: Disneyland) In late November, when it's cold enough you need a sweater.
Now, look around, see those clusters of people wearing shorts and T-shirts? Chances are those are Canadians.

And I'm sorry for geeking up this thread.

My mom grew up in Montana. So, she had gone to visit Canada for some reason, and was coming back to the United States through New York. When she simply showed her Montana drivers license, the American Border Patrol refused to believe that Montana is indeed part of the United States. Finally, one of the Canadian Border Patrol came over to help explain that Montana is indeed a state.

Sure the questions are stupid, and sure other countries biatch about America and how stupid, arrogant whatever. But lets be honest, if it wasn't for America, Briton, France and probably most of Europe and Asia would be under German/Japanese control. Deny it all you like, but it happened, read your freaking history books.

On top of that the US's buying power keeps a great many countries in the black. We stop buying and a lot of places can say hello to the 3rd world.

So I am pretty damn proud to be an America, sure we stick our noses places people don't like it, and we are stupid under educated football fans (but then again the rest of the world seems to be drunk soccer hooligans sometimes). But the world would be a decidely shiatty place if it wasn't for America, unless you really enjoy leather shorts and sausage.

That and we have the bomb and a lot of them, so piss off.