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(Some Guy)   Woman who beat living hell out of burglar with pan is praised by judge, who tells battered crook, "I suspect many right-thinking people regret she didn't hit you harder"   ( divider line
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11693 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2006 at 10:26 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

64 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-05-10 01:18:20 AM  
Why can't we get more judges like that?
2006-05-10 08:46:51 AM  
Am I a bad person because I find this hilarious?
2006-05-10 09:26:52 AM  
Even worse - the pan had bacon in it.
2006-05-10 10:08:43 AM  
[Note to self: When burglarizing in Britain, wear a helmet]
2006-05-10 10:29:51 AM  
Damn radical judges
2006-05-10 10:32:03 AM  
Laura, 23, beat Ibrahim El-Hamady so hard it broke. She grabbed another and landed more blows as she chased him out.

I LOL'd.
2006-05-10 10:32:10 AM  
information_entropy: Am I a bad person because I find this hilarious?

Meh. All the cool people are in Hell anyway.
2006-05-10 10:32:11 AM  
Now if this happened in the U.S., what are the odds that she'd be sued for excessive assult or something?
2006-05-10 10:32:30 AM  
I love it!
2006-05-10 10:33:43 AM  
We need to modify the 2nd amendment to add cookware.
2006-05-10 10:34:19 AM  
That would never happen in the US. Here that woman would so time for battery and have to pay all the crook's medical expenses plus whatever a jury thinks his emotional distress is worth.
2006-05-10 10:36:43 AM  
"Kiss the pan... pan kisses you!"

/it bakes, it boils, it fries, it broughs, it breks, it froils, and it bribles!
2006-05-10 10:37:49 AM  
Laura, of Gloucester, said: "I just went mad."

Don't make her mad. You wouldn't like her when she's mad.
2006-05-10 10:37:57 AM  
NP-Complete: /it bakes, it boils, it fries, it broughs, it breks, it froils, and it bribles!

And never forget, only British people can fly.
2006-05-10 10:37:58 AM  
The perp was not jailed??? WTF.
2006-05-10 10:38:08 AM  
Good. I wish she'd grabbed a kitchen knife on the way out the door and opened up his throat under the CCTV camera.

I'd watch that with popcorn.

Criminals, be damned.
2006-05-10 10:38:21 AM  
Now if this happened in the U.S., what are the odds that she'd be sued for excessive assult or something?

Rather poor. Especially since she was clubbing him with a pan (not like she chased him down with a shotgun).
2006-05-10 10:40:49 AM  
Woman who beat living hell out of burger with pan braised by judge, who tells battered cook, "I suspect many right-thinking people regret she didn't hit you harder"

ees much funnier, no?
2006-05-10 10:41:51 AM  
Burgler should have to pay for the broken pan, IMO.
2006-05-10 10:44:20 AM  
My love for you is Like a Truck. BEZERKER!
Would you like some making fu... uh, nevermind.

/Sorry, that song came to mind at, "I just went mad."
2006-05-10 10:45:22 AM  
Good for her. Sure, I'm about to be vilified, and will probably make someone's list (again), but I am psyched up at this turnout. I would expect a judge here to put the hammers down on her, and give the criminal a cookie and a hug.

We need more judges like that.

/"and that's when I busted out the Calphalon, your honor."
2006-05-10 10:48:33 AM  
Ooops up-side your head
I said ooops upside your head
2006-05-10 10:48:41 AM  
Oh the number of fark threads I've read about how you aren't allowed to defend your home in England, how texas is great because you can mow down any motherfarker with an assault rifle as soon as he looks at your property.

Then a thread like this comes along and all of a sudden it's "why can't America be more like Britain, we'd get arrested and then sued by the perp over here".

The internets are a strange place.
2006-05-10 10:54:38 AM  
I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired.

I most certainly am not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

2006-05-10 10:59:55 AM  
You don't have a cousin Patty.

You lied to me!
2006-05-10 11:04:29 AM  
MCStymie /"and that's when I busted out the Calphalon, your honor."

She should have used a Calphalon, it wouldn't have broken... might have killed the perp though.

2006-05-10 11:07:11 AM  
(Damnit Bek you beat me to it by five minutes...)
Well I meet alot of people and I'm convinced that the vast majority of wrong-thinking people are right.
2006-05-10 11:24:47 AM  
Round of applause for the lady, and bonus points for dragging the little twerp under a CCTV camera - Nice touch.

Just one thing though; Does anyone else despair at the sentencing?

"El-Hamady, 20, admitted burglary. The judge in Gloucester said he will avoid jail if he stays out of trouble until September."

Ah, I remember the days when you avoided jail if you stayed out of trouble, like... forever...
2006-05-10 11:25:39 AM  
Even worse - the pan had bacon in it.

Thank you, I needed that.
Still chuckling.
2006-05-10 11:30:12 AM  
All Clad Classic Stainless withstood even the heaviest repeated use against the thickest skulls in our test group.
2006-05-10 11:44:14 AM  
Pelagius FTW.

/try the veal
2006-05-10 11:59:47 AM  
But somehow, I'm sure she'll go out with the first "bad boy" she meets, while pushing away good guys.
2006-05-10 12:04:57 PM  
......poor bacon.
2006-05-10 12:05:16 PM  
"She dragged him under a CCTV camera, called police on her mobile and held him until they came"

that is awesome. this chick is totally hardcore. well done.
2006-05-10 12:10:24 PM  
*Stupid Question Alert* I think I have an idea of what a CCTV camera is, but I'd really appreciate a smidge of detail. Anyone?

/Does it make it less stupid if there's a slashie?
2006-05-10 12:11:27 PM  
But wouldn't that affect his chances of a fair trial?

/should have called him "scum of the earth"
2006-05-10 12:14:21 PM  
Jayhawk81 CCTV = Closed Circuit Television. Very common in the UK for security monitoring.

CCTV defined (pops)
2006-05-10 12:16:26 PM  
2006-05-10 12:28:02 PM  
Hell, I'd cook that lady a breakfast in bed if I could.

/Congrats and swing harder next time.
2006-05-10 12:28:56 PM  
Should have busted out the Le Creuset. I have several of these cast iron pans, they'll mash a skull right good.
2006-05-10 12:32:14 PM  
El-Hamady, 20, admitted burglary. The judge in Gloucester said he will avoid jail if he stays out of trouble until September.

Geez! Why not just give him a cup of tea and some crisps while he considers doing it again?

With a sentence like that, the lady should have used a cast iron pan on him and broken some bones.
2006-05-10 12:34:59 PM  
So he breaks in, terrorizes her, and gets nothing but probation?

See, this is why, in America, you just shoot and kill anyone who breaks in.
2006-05-10 12:35:49 PM  
Beautiful! In Colorado she would have been awarded a medal.

Except in Boulder, where she would have been given lethal injection for harming poor burgler.

/love Colorado
//but have doubts about Boulder sometimes
2006-05-10 12:38:27 PM  
Thank goodness, an English judge with common sense. I figured they'd put this girl in jail for assault or something.
2006-05-10 12:39:14 PM  
Good heavens, Rootus, that does explain why my wife put those on our wedding registry...

Agree, tho. Those things are monstrous in the right (wrong?) hands.

/Getting the crash helmet ready, for all the good it will do.
2006-05-10 12:41:58 PM  
I had someone break into my sister's apartment a few years back. She and her roommate knocked the guy out with a frying pan and a lacross stick, then called the cops.

The perp got Breaking and Entery but was given 60 days suspended jail sentence with probation since it was his first offense.

Both my sister and her roommate were given 10 days in the county lock-up and 90 days probation for assult and battery, and had to pay the want-to-be crook $3500 for hospital fees (he came away with a few cuts. One needed 3 stitches...oh the horror).

The guy admitted breaking in to steal their things, and KNEW they were at home (so who is to say he might not have raped either of them while he was there?), but got off.

Tell me what the FARK is wrong with this picture? You can have a robber cut himself on a steak knife that was in your silverwear drawer, and he can sue you! WTF?!?

Sidenote: the guy was caught 4 months later for attempted grand theft auto, and B+E. He stole stuff from a person's home, packed it into that person's SUV and was caught by the police as he was trying to hotwire the SUV. Neighbors saw him in the act and called the cops. Don't know what happened to him after that.
2006-05-10 12:47:21 PM  
Heh, people on Fark apparently aren't aware that "FTW" already has a widely-known meaning, and it isn't "For The Win".

Cracks me up everytime I see it in a thread.
2006-05-10 12:57:38 PM  
Eh.. FTW = Fort Meachem International Airport?
2006-05-10 01:27:15 PM  
No, "fark The World".

It's hilarious to me when someone uses it to mean, for example, "FarkUserName, for the win!", but I read it as "FarkUserName, fark the world!"

Heheh, it's teh funnay.
2006-05-10 01:41:08 PM  
I live in Gloucester.

I'll have to check out the local paper about this one.

But yeah, it's a pretty rough place so you gotta pack some kind of kitchen utensil.
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