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(Some Guy)   Top 10 creepiest children's shows   (shiveredsky.blogspot.com) divider line 368
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62007 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2006 at 2:15 AM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-05-04 06:02:15 AM
The Great HooDoo for all will perform a feat of prestidigitation!
 
2006-05-04 06:13:23 AM
Yay Boohbah.

The Boohbah website is a masterpiece of psychedelic weirdness.

/ Didn't know Boards of Canada did the music.
 
2006-05-04 06:40:29 AM
Whenever Sportacus moves, horns herald each of his movements.

Those are orchestral STRING hits, stupid. Don't you know anything?

/Lazytown rules
//Boobah is farked up
///Backyardigans have the catchiest music
////Writer is an idiot
 
2006-05-04 06:48:38 AM
Don't forget Captain Pugwash the Pirate, and the urban legend of his crew: Master Bates, Seaman Staines, and Roger the Cabin Boy.
 
2006-05-04 06:48:54 AM
Great Space Coster didn't make the list? Nothing from the Puff n' Stuff era??? Come on! where's the homework!?
 
2006-05-04 06:52:17 AM
For anyone who has not seen Boobah:

The Boobah Zone
 
2006-05-04 07:07:21 AM
My little brother liked "The Big Comfy Couch" reruns in the late 1990s and I liked watching Loonette the Clown (Alyson Court was over 20 in every episode) doing clock stretches.
 
2006-05-04 07:11:17 AM
Lady Elaine from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

Incidentally, for many years I thought Bob Dylan was singing "Lady Elaine" instead of "Lay Lady Lay".

/didn't rtfa
 
2006-05-04 07:12:23 AM
In other news, Fark is now accepting .blogspot pages.
Get crackin' people!

squidfartz.blogspot.com
 
2006-05-04 07:25:54 AM
Johnboy99 is my new hero.
 
rp.
2006-05-04 07:51:37 AM
Doodlebops: Super creepy.
Lazytown: Absolutely mesmerizing in its creepiness, it's hard not to watch.
 
2006-05-04 08:02:06 AM
Lazy Town has got to be the maddest thing i have EVER seen its like the Eurovision Song Contest on amyl nitrate and speed.
Have you heard the songs the lassie sings?! and whats with the Gary Glitter Fan Club gaying about the place?!
 
2006-05-04 08:05:56 AM
Writer is an idiot. Most of these shows aren't bad. Why only shows that were made in the last 5 years?
Oobie is hilarious.
The Doodlebops are too weird. We always change the channel when they're going to come on.

Weirdest damn show on kids' TV? James the Cat on Sprout aka PBS Kids. Even gayer than Doodlebops in a late seventies psychedelic kinda way.

/Gigglesnort was the wirdest show ever.
//I hate The Map because of the samn song he sings.
 
2006-05-04 08:09:45 AM
The Doodlebops scare the shiat out of me
 
2006-05-04 08:10:53 AM
I think there should be a top ten scariest Public Information films?
has anyone seen the dont play in the water one with the grim reaper? that is some messed up stuff

www.nationalarchives.gov.uk

and dont get me started on that drug head with the cat charile!

"Charlie says dont go near the water!"
 
2006-05-04 08:15:43 AM
Noggin had a really creepy one called Gullah Gullah Island, with some weird polywog thing that talked like he was taking a hit off a joint.

img114.imageshack.us
 
2006-05-04 08:17:44 AM
Noggin?! Gullah Gullah? Polywog?
that sounds like the most racist show since the Black and White Minstrel Show!
 
2006-05-04 08:24:17 AM
Minipops.
Channel 4.

So horrifying that I don't even want to talk about it. Nothing else mentioned here comes even close. You have enough information there to find out for yourself if you really need to.

I've only seen short clips of it but that was enough. It was so very wrong.
 
2006-05-04 08:24:25 AM
Anything on any christian channel that involves puppets. There is a whole slew of shows on our religious channel (my cable service swaps 'em around every few months, so I'm not sure which one I'm thinking of) that freaking terrify me. I think declining church membership can be traced directly to the pants crapping horror that these shows put out. I think they are trying to relate to kids by using puppets, but the whole project has gone wrong. The result is like a fandango commercial on teh brown acid.

/shudder
//seriously. they should stop making those.
 
2006-05-04 08:24:50 AM
I'd take HR Puffinstuff for the win. Followed closely by Land of the Lost and those damn Sleestaks that haunted my childhood nightmares for many years.
 
2006-05-04 08:28:41 AM
maulrat1967: If anyone that grew up in the Chicagoland area in the 70s they would know the show of all creepiness was Gigglesnort Hotel.

With B.J., Weird, Dirty Dragon, Blob, The Thumptwangers, The Lemon Joke Kid .... I'm not making this up kids.


Dear fraking Jesus. Maulrat1967 is absoulutely correct. I had suppressed all that. It's all come flooding back. Wow. Blob. Wow. Maulrat wins the thread. If you haven't seen this one, don't. But take our words.

Curiously, Maulrat, as a fellow Chicagolander of a certain age, do you have a clown problem to this day? Been working on this survey for a while.
 
2006-05-04 08:34:22 AM
costas

"So you see Davey, if you see someone in need, you should always be a Good Samaritan and come to their aid." "Gee mom, you're right. And you know something else? There's some aid that I'd like right now." "Really?" "Yeah - some lemon-AID! Hahahaha!" "Hahaha!"

I'm so pleased the punchline to that was lemonaid, my creeped out fragile little mind was imagining something quite different.
 
2006-05-04 08:36:06 AM
DustBunny: i watched teletubbies on acid once and decided that they were all imprisoned in some kind of re-education camp run by the baby in the sun...

www.clivebanks.co.uk

Grab a couple of tabs, sit back and "enjoy." ;)
/NO RLY
 
2006-05-04 08:42:13 AM
I was going to tell the author to GAFB, but I see that's unnecessary.

Kids shows are good material, but this guy wasted my time with repeated "what's up with that?"-level humour. Real original.

C- at best. Try again.
 
2006-05-04 08:44:50 AM
Aulus:

You from Sarasota huh....
 
2006-05-04 08:48:25 AM
images.google.com

Deserves honors in this category, because the creator Jhonen Vasquez once said 'if we're not creeping kids out, we're not doing our job'
 
2006-05-04 08:48:27 AM
I was so going to talk about Gullah Gullah Island (or, as one less tolerant friend of mine calls it, Afro Afro Island) and Big Comfy Couch, but I got beat to it. Meh.

I'm surprised Bear In The Big Blue House didn't make it, to be honest. Or Go, Diego, Go!, or the Wiggles, or creepy-ass Joe from Blue's Clues. Steve was way cooler. I rather like Backyardigans (yetiyetiyeti!), and NO ONE messes with Mr. Rogers. Well...I'll give that Mr. McFeely and Lady Elaine were creepy, but that's it.

/8 years in ECE = knowing every kid's show out there
 
2006-05-04 08:52:21 AM
No list is complete with Davey and Goliath. Particularly the episode where he lost his ice skate in the lake.
 
2006-05-04 08:53:32 AM
I'm surprised no one has mentioned "The Adventures of Enoch." FYI, it is a Canadian show aired on Cornerstone Televeision, and it is nothing more than severe attempts at religious brainwashing. They actually use children and puppets to do their dirty work; using pseudo-science and fake science to attack evolution.
 
2006-05-04 08:57:04 AM
Derogative_Preogative:

but Zim was so not for kids
 
2006-05-04 09:04:43 AM
god i'd love to give wazzat from zoobilee zoo the worst fifteen seconds of her life...
 
2006-05-04 09:07:26 AM
www.ideofact.com

FTW.
 
2006-05-04 09:07:27 AM
My daughter watches most of those shows. Dora is her favorite, and our house is like a Dora merchandising exhibit. I put fourth the proposition once that "The Map" is actually gay. Listen to him sing, "I'm the maaaaap......and I'm faaaabulous"

The Backyardigans is actually a pretty cool show. Lazytown is weird, but I think Stephanie is going to be a hottie someday. My daughter likes The Wonderpets, too.

I have never let her watch Teletubbies, because it's a horrible show. The place they live always reminded me of the down-under from "A Boy And His Dog".

Oobi and Boobah are wastes of video resources as well.
 
2006-05-04 09:07:39 AM
What, no Pancake Mountain? Indoctrinating children with indie rock snobbery isn't creepy enough?
 
2006-05-04 09:07:50 AM
img131.imageshack.us

Well blow me down!

The Wiggles might seem creepy, but putting aside Captain Feathersword they really aren't.

Besides, they have some hot dancers, and play some cool celtic music.
 
2006-05-04 09:08:25 AM
Lazytown: Disturbing. Like a gateway drug for pedophiles

Dora: If she's such a great explorer, why does she need a map to get home? And the map creeps my two year old out, to boot.

Wiggles: Rented a DVD once of an animated Wiggles journey into space. About two minutes in, I was hoping they'd steer their rocket into the sun.

And the two guys they have as do-wop dancers couldn't be gayer if they gave Richard Simmons a lapdance to the music of Cher while on the Antiques Roadshow. The blonde girl is kinda hot, though, in the same way that the go-go dancers were on "The Banana Splits."

Backyardigans: "Uniqua?" Aren't there enough patently absurd, made-up, african-american names out there already? Why encourage the madness?

Blues Clues:I can't believe Steve went to college. Unless it's a special college where they pin your mittens to your coat for you and you get to play with Easy Bake ovens all day long.

"A clue, a clue?"
"You see a shoe?"
"Yes, asshat, because that's the name of the show. Blues Farking Shoes."

Anyone who routinely gets outwitted by a dog, a bar of soap, an alarm clock and a salt and pepper shaker probably should be housed in assisted living, not going to college.

Can you imagine Steve on the first campus pub crawl?

"Hello Mr. Beer, Hello Mishus Tequila ..."
 
2006-05-04 09:11:26 AM
NOTHING, I repeat: NOTHING can be creepier than a Johnathan Winters children's show (Bloopy):


www.oneroofentertainment.com
 
2006-05-04 09:11:37 AM
drunk_flowers:

HEY YOU GUYS!
 
2006-05-04 09:13:37 AM
i find all puppets disturbing...and i'm terrified clowns and people in stuffed animal costumes...like mickey mouse at disney...or the muppets...scary stuff...although the fraggles were cool
 
2006-05-04 09:15:43 AM
i48.photobucket.com
 
2006-05-04 09:18:28 AM
elendilmir: Dear fraking Jesus. Maulrat1967 is absoulutely correct. I had suppressed all that. It's all come flooding back. Wow. Blob. Wow. Maulrat wins the thread. If you haven't seen this one, don't. But take our words.

Curiously, Maulrat, as a fellow Chicagolander of a certain age, do you have a clown problem to this day? Been working on this survey for a while.


Someone else remembers this nightmare of a show! There was something strangely wrong with a lot of the local Chicago shows (remember the hebrew show Magic Door?) but Gigglesnort Hotel was just f'ed up beyond words. The howls and moans and agony of Blob!! The scrunched up evil puppet things! Nightmare galore.

Check out the comments of others who had their childhood violated by this show :) Scroll down for the good commentaries.

And yes my "clown problem" is deep seeded and continues on to this day.
 
2006-05-04 09:18:43 AM
home.att.net
www.shock.com.au

in retrospect all children's shows from the 70's appear to have been drug induced
 
2006-05-04 09:19:32 AM
zappaisfrank: I put fourth the proposition once that "The Map" is actually gay.

No, it's Bennie the Bull with teh ghey. I mean, who says "group hugs, group hugs!"
 
2006-05-04 09:25:09 AM
Biff_Steel

zappaisfrank: I put fourth the proposition once that "The Map" is actually gay.

No, it's Bennie the Bull with teh ghey. I mean, who says "group hugs, group hugs!"


Or what about Tico, with the multicolored vest? (rainbow flag?)

Dora has some pretty strange imagery. In one episode, the "superbabies" are in a runaway stroller and the whole family chases them in their pajamas for 15 minutes.

The one about the "gooey geiser" makes me chuckle as well.
 
2006-05-04 09:35:23 AM
Wonder Showzen. (But I suppose that doesn't count)
 
2006-05-04 09:36:08 AM
To all those Canadian early 80's kids......do you remember Read All About It on TV Ontario? The robot typewriter and that flippin' computer monitor that talked like a robotic Barbara White? It scared the shiat out of me! I found episodes online....

http://broszkowski.com/tv/readallaboutit/readallaboutitdownload.html

I shiat you not. Here is how they teach the kids the word 'presumed' in the opening episode.

"The police report says that our uncle is missing and presumed dead."

"What does 'Presumed dead' mean?"

"It means they can't find him and believe that he is probably not alive."

"Oh! Presumed!"
 
2006-05-04 09:36:56 AM
zappaisfrank:

My 2 yo son wants to watch superbabies over and over and over. It's disturbing. But I've noticed lots of rainbow imagery in all of the Dora episodes I've seen; I'm surprised one of the fundie charlatans hasn't swooped in on this (and the slack-jawed huckleberries with their whole "Hispanics are destroying our kulture" should be on this as well).

But, hands down, I've not seen anything worse than the doodlebops. I was concerned about my kids watching the wiggles, until i saw the doodlebops. They can now watch all the wiggles they want.
 
2006-05-04 09:37:10 AM
Here's a link if anyone wants a little nostalgia trip/weirding out.

http://broszkowski.com/tv/readallaboutit/readallaboutitdownload.html
 
2006-05-04 09:39:47 AM
OMG, Zoobilee Zoo.

/Had a thing for Van Go Lion
//I was 5
///THE WIGGLES NEED TO TOP OFF THAT LIST
////No one's seen Dragon Tales? yeesh!
 
2006-05-04 09:40:34 AM
stpickrell

My little brother liked "The Big Comfy Couch" reruns in the late 1990s and I liked watching Loonette the Clown (Alyson Court was over 20 in every episode) doing clock stretches

She was the hotness....

www.classictvhits.com

and yes, the best part of the show was anything that involved her stretching her legs...

upload.wikimedia.org

/with her clown suit on
 
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