FARK.com: (2045791) After being told by her apartment complex that it is not management's responsibility to remove a snake from her porch, woman sets the reptile -- and her apartment -- on fire

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		After being told by her apartment complex that it is not management's responsibility to remove a snake from her porch, woman sets the reptile -- and her apartment -- on fire (local6.com)		144
		More: Dumbass

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7088 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2006 at 1:16 PM | Favorite | share:

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twobux		2006-05-03 12:37:37 PM

I hate apartment management.

Squawky		2006-05-03 12:59:58 PM

I would've caught the snake and slipped it through the manager's mail slot.

Problem(s) solved.

GTP		2006-05-03 01:20:07 PM

Snakes In An Apartment!

/not as catchy as Snakes On A Plane

Pair-o-Dice		2006-05-03 01:20:30 PM

no wonder the population is growing so fast down here. Give
us your tired, your weary, your dumb-asses

dittybopper		2006-05-03 01:20:33 PM

twobux

I hate apartment management.

Buy a house.

dittybopper		2006-05-03 01:21:22 PM

I say we take off and nuke the snake from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Mad Scientist		2006-05-03 01:21:29 PM

Flaming snakes on a porch!

insane_idoru		2006-05-03 01:21:57 PM

...airplanes have porches?

peter_hook		2006-05-03 01:21:57 PM

dittybopper

twobux

I hate apartment management.

Buy a house.

Why? So they can deal with a homeowners association? Or if there isn't one, some neighbour who has chickens, 3 foot high grass and paints their house purple?

superoogie		2006-05-03 01:22:05 PM

Look: Did she get rid of the snake or not? Problem solved.

MN Freeda		2006-05-03 01:22:24 PM

Submitter, bet you had trouble deciding whether the Florida tag applies here...for only in my shining state could this tale unfold...

RetlawST		2006-05-03 01:22:51 PM

I'll bet the snake tempted her to do it.

Argon the Pirate		2006-05-03 01:23:30 PM

I just enjoy the fact that there were about $1000 in damages but the snake got away.

strangeguitar		2006-05-03 01:23:53 PM

Escape from New Porch!
/a reach, I know.

hubiestubert		2006-05-03 01:24:02 PM

Because a broom would have been too easy?

Obama Bin Bin		2006-05-03 01:24:09 PM

This type of trash is why landlords get a bad rep. If tenents would just shut their traps and stop complaining, maybe everyone's lives would be better.

Atomic_Puppy		2006-05-03 01:25:08 PM

Apartment management employees need to burn in HELL along with the snake.

Omnivorous		2006-05-03 01:25:16 PM

Snakes on Flame

Legalize It		2006-05-03 01:26:23 PM

Woman to snake: Die in a fire

cheapimmitation		2006-05-03 01:26:48 PM

So Kearney doused the snake with a flammable liquid and set it on fire.

somebody call PETA. that's pretty cruel.

although i'm fairly certain the increased heat caused the snake to move so fast it went supersonic.

LadyHawke		2006-05-03 01:27:31 PM

Snakes in a Porch Fire?

fuligin		2006-05-03 01:28:19 PM

Or if there isn't one, some neighbour who has chickens, 3 foot high grass and paints their house purple?

Hey, screw you buddy! It was on SALE!

fred_chan		2006-05-03 01:28:26 PM

What was wrong with the old shovel to the head method?

wjllope		2006-05-03 01:28:40 PM

snake and bake

JohDHJ		2006-05-03 01:29:02 PM

dittybopper

Or anyone else for that matter...

Where is that quote from? The "dust off and nuke" bit?

Thanks in advance

Lehk		2006-05-03 01:29:15 PM

badger badger badger badger

lilplatinum		2006-05-03 01:30:08 PM

Obama Bin Bin

This type of trash is why landlords get a bad rep. If tenents would just shut their traps and stop complaining, maybe everyone's lives would be better.

Yes, how dare tenants bother landlords, what do they think they are, employed to upkeep rented property or something??

insane_idoru		2006-05-03 01:30:42 PM

LadyHawke911: Snakes in a Porch Fire?

Porches in a snake fire?

Hilary T. N. Seuss		2006-05-03 01:30:43 PM

strangeguitar
Escape from New Porch!
/a reach, I know.

Ugh, that's awful. I liked it!

baorao		2006-05-03 01:30:43 PM

I would have done the same thing. I farking hate snakes. As for a broom, I would have imagined the snake climbing the handle ala "the serpent and the staff medical symbol" and ended that idea right there.

/I love michigan. no snakes, no quakes, no hurricanes.

macdaddy357		2006-05-03 01:31:34 PM

I guess the mods chose the Dumbass tags so there wouldn't be two Floridas in a row.

cody1234		2006-05-03 01:31:51 PM

When i saw this headline I wondered how long it would take someone to make a snakes on plane comment.....

about 30 sec

zz9		2006-05-03 01:32:27 PM

If the snake was still alive why didn't she just wait? I'm sure the snake would have moved off sooner or later.

mekkab		2006-05-03 01:33:44 PM

macdaddy357

I guess the mods chose the Dumbass tags so there wouldn't be two Floridas in a row.

MODS PLEASE FIX!

KTHXBY

BobtheFascist		2006-05-03 01:34:20 PM

She obviously knows how to use a phone, pick it up & dial animal control. Dumbass.

sylaak		2006-05-03 01:34:29 PM

I don't see why she didn't just thwack it with a stick a few times and eat it for dinner.

wjllope		2006-05-03 01:35:08 PM

while FL does have all 4 kinds of major baddies, i make every bet this was a garter snake.

veedeevadeevoodee		2006-05-03 01:36:50 PM

Angel of Death		2006-05-03 01:37:49 PM

WARNING!
GRAMMAR NAZISM AHEAD

Submitter needs another long dash after "apartment."

Obama Bin Bin		2006-05-03 01:38:14 PM

lilplatinum

Usually, renters are scum anyway. Probably most are drug dealers or reformed cons. If they weren't such wretched trash, they probably be able to find a decent job, would be able to afford a house, and wouldn't have to rent. They usually end up trashing their apartments anyway.

xarlos		2006-05-03 01:39:49 PM

FLORIDA

wjllope		2006-05-03 01:40:19 PM

Angel of Death: Submitter needs another long dash after "apartment."

wouldn't 2 commas instead of 2 long dashes work better? or better yet just remove the long dash thats there?

/not a grammar nazi, just a grammar hitler youth

Smirkles		2006-05-03 01:41:58 PM

Hey submitter, Did the snake eat the second dash? As in: " . . . woman sets the reptile -- and her apartment {DASH} on fire."

/No need to thank me.

trueaustinite		2006-05-03 01:42:04 PM

The apartment management was correct. That is animal control's jorb.

nytmare		2006-05-03 01:43:00 PM

Oh she'll be ruing her snakeless abode when the rats come back.

quickdraw		2006-05-03 01:43:03 PM

Obama Bin Bin: Usually, renters are scum anyway.

Wow, good luck with that misanthropy.

trueaustinite		2006-05-03 01:43:29 PM

Oh, and rent vs. buy flamewar/fagfest in 3 . 2 . 1 . . .

moulderx1		2006-05-03 01:44:20 PM

On the porch?

It seems there is nothing to be done about it, but watch the kettle on the boil.

/Brit version
//Antony Hopkins in the Samuel L. role

TommyPaine		2006-05-03 01:44:22 PM

This is why you put on some protective goggles and shotgun the snake to nonexistence.

Godzilla		2006-05-03 01:44:52 PM

I read that as "no one was charred."

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