Don't you just hate it when you buy a new place? There's always some dead bodies in the corner that you have to sweep out. Such a hassle.

Throw the bodies in the pond out back, the ashed for fertilizer, and sue the woman for slander

Problems solved

/I love america

I guess the investment company doesn't know what due diligence is? They might have wanted to see if they were buying the place from the legal owner.

When I die please just take me somewhere, build a big Viking funeral pyre and a large amount of beer.

Bohemian: When I die please just take me somewhere, build a big Viking funeral pyre and a large amount of beer.

Sorry, but in many states, that's not legal.

/Though I'd like to go that way--'cept with mead, instead.

The realtors NEVER tell about the dead bodies!

You move in, and the next thing you know, little Carol Anne's sucked into the tv!

Cadaver Emptor?
/doesn't know Latin.

Bohemian: When I die please just take me somewhere, build a big Viking funeral pyre and a large amount of beer.

Good to see that I am not the only one who wants an open bar at his funeral. I keep telling the wife that it will be like a pig roast, only I'll be on the fire.

I hope they had title insurance. No wait, I'm calling B.S. to this whole story. Or...I read it on the internet so it must be true.

let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the flooooorida

sounds like a great show for HBO

That's got b-level movie script written all over it.

Maybe a few skeletons in the closet would help to brighten up the place.

/yuk, yuk

RIB Investments - Rest in Boxes?

Ape Shiat Nuts: Dude. That movie scarred me as a youngin'. That thing.....I don't know what it is, but it was out in the hallway. That massive white skeletal sorta beast thing. Oh. My. God. Still to this day the scariest thing that anyone has ever imagined and put in cinematic form.

I thought that thing was out in the hallway and the tree outside was going to break through the window for at least a month after that movie.

One of our salesmen was visiting a funeral home to sell our financial consulting services. The owners thought it would have been funny to shove him into the storage/restoration room with all the dead bodies and lock him in there with the lights out...so they did :)

It sounds like the bank sold it from under those people that didn't pay their bills and left bodies lying around.

I think it would be nice to join Gene Rodenberry up in outer space when I die... they only send as many ashes as will fit in a lipstick tube, though.

Skeletons in the closet?

Did he come with the place?

Sounds like a hit musical for broadway!

Note to self: Check basement for corpses in cardboard boxes, and tubs of human ashes.

/Works in a former funeral home
//it's been an office for 40 years, i should be safe.

They only moved the headstones!

It's like when you move into an apartment and it seems so nasty because it's someone else's dirt in the corners and pubes in the tub, so you spend hours cleaning until it's spotless; but after you've lived there a while the place can be twice as nasty and it doesn't bother you at all, because it's your own funk in the corners and pubes in the tub.

It's just like this - I'm sure it wouldn't bother her at all if they were her dead bodies lying all over - she'd probably just say they make the place look homey and lived in...

All I got to say about Poltergeist is:

The clown

The new owners had the embalmed bodies they found cremated and it's contacting loved ones

I don't think they are "loved ones" if they abandoned uncle Kenny's body to go fishing, or whatever they did.

Rude Turnip

One of our salesmen was visiting a funeral home to sell our financial consulting services. The owners thought it would have been funny to shove him into the storage/restoration room with all the dead bodies and lock him in there with the lights out...so they did :)

Hmmm...what state was this in? Here in Texas, I believe it would be illegal for anyone not a licensed funeral director or apprentice to even be in that room, and I can't imagine that any owner or funeral director would be willing to risk their licenses just for a not-very-funny prank. Just one complaint like that to the Texas Funeral Service Commission and the owner and funeral-director-in-charge would be in a world of hurt. Hearings, fines, licenses terminated, etc.

/husband is a funeral director & embalmer
//yes, I've been in the prep room with the dead people
///please don't tell the funeral service commission

Time for Grandma Grammar to have a stroke:


"The new owners had the embalmed bodies they found cremated and it's contacting loved ones"

The new owners are the subject. . . they are not an 'it's' even if they were, they would be an 'its'.

The new owners had the embalmed bodies they found cremated and have contacted loved ones.

There. That's better.


the scariest part of that was the woman's fingernails.

I disagree. If the new owners were an "it", then it would be correct to say that "it's" contacting loved ones, because "it is" contacting loved ones. "Its" without the apostrophe the possesive which isn't the case here.

/still agree that the grammar is poor

She says she likes my face.
She says she owns the place.

Forget about it!

'Cause she's a ... Hotel Detective ...

/I like TMBG, but still, that's one of the worst TMBG songs ever. Right down there with "You'll Miss Me," "32 Footsteps," and "Mr. Excitement."

Didn't expect it? They must be new to the business.

The prep guys must love getting young teen girls fully intact to play with. I'd imagine it's a nice break between all the wrinkled old women.

I'd just like to say EWWWW GROSSS!!!

Heckava job, Jeb!

"it's been an office for 40 years, i should be safe."

Thats what they all think.....

Link is Farked.

in case anyone's actually coming here and invested enough to see if the article is elsewhere, here is a link I found with a repost of the article.