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(Aljazeera)   Vodka martini, loose women and baccarat your game? You're in luck. MI6 is now accepting applications. License to kill sold separately   (english.aljazeera.net) divider line 61
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10103 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Apr 2006 at 4:20 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2006-04-27 11:34:06 PM
I alway thought this type of work would be very interesting. Interviewed with the CIA on campus, but didn't want to move to DC.
 
2006-04-27 11:38:56 PM
I tested for it, but I couldn't stop giggling at all the female agents code names.
 
2006-04-28 12:30:13 AM
El Dudereno: I alway thought this type of work would be very interesting. Interviewed with the CIA on campus, but didn't want to move to DC.

They were interested in me for awhile it seemed but I wasn't going to fall for the fast talk so they backed off. I didn't trust them not to put me behind a desk as an analyst given my background.
 
2006-04-28 12:56:13 AM
Point of Order: James Bond's original drink was the Vesper, and is made with gin, vodka, and Lillet.
 
2006-04-28 04:23:52 AM
Does this mean that if you put that you're "pretending to be a CIA operative" that you get extra credit?
 
2006-04-28 04:27:17 AM
If you're looking to get your name out there, working for the CIA is a good way to get free publicity from Dick Cheney.
 
2006-04-28 04:27:22 AM
MI6 doesn't want me, huh? Fine! I'll go build my own international spy agency, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the international spy agency and the blackjack...
 
2006-04-28 04:28:53 AM
The ironic thing is that the Bond character was created as a reaction to the dull boredom of British intelligence work.
 
2006-04-28 04:29:15 AM
It's dissapointing though as they are all out of 00 agent numbers. The best you can hope for is somethig in 415 or so and people have to dial the area code first. Hard to be cool with that. "I know who you are. You are British super spy James Bond, agent number 310 626 B hiphen 7."

It's just a bit less cool is all I'm saying.
 
2006-04-28 04:36:33 AM
Anyone watched Spooks?
 
2006-04-28 04:36:44 AM
They asked me to be a manager one time. I called bullshiat on that.
 
2006-04-28 04:37:35 AM
"a balaclava-clad man holding a machine gun"
At first glance I read that as a baklava-clad man...gave me some interesting mental pictures
 
2006-04-28 04:38:57 AM
Anyone who wants the real lowdown on British Intelligence should check out Le Carre's "The Looking Glass War."

/Shallow and pedantic
 
2006-04-28 04:46:39 AM
In real life the British secret forces are scum that moitored phone calls in Ireland illegally for years and were behind asssinations, collusion with terrorists, evidence planting, innocent people getting interned etc. But then again I'm Irish.
 
2006-04-28 05:04:39 AM
lurch_E_bean

MI6 doesn't want me, huh? Fine! I'll go build my own international spy agency, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the international spy agency and the blackjack...

i83.photobucket.com
 
2006-04-28 05:11:35 AM
"In real life the British secret forces are scum that moitored phone calls in Ireland illegally for years and were behind asssinations, collusion with terrorists, evidence planting, innocent people getting interned etc. But then again I'm Irish."

Whereas the wonderful peaceful irish never hurt a soul.
 
2006-04-28 05:13:00 AM
Kazuya

I'm sure they didn't want to get innocent people getting interned etc., just the guilty guys.

But then again I'm Irish.

... and I was showered with glass from an IRA bomb that want off just off Oxford Street in the early 90's. But I don't hold that against anyone, in particular.
 
2006-04-28 05:21:13 AM
With Bond's increasing age, 007 now prefers his prune juice shaken, not stirred.
 
2006-04-28 05:22:46 AM
Vodka martinis are for girls... like all vodka drinks except STRAIGHT UP
 
2006-04-28 05:24:09 AM
Headline made me think of this: "Bacardi & Cola, they get the jone done!"
 
2006-04-28 05:39:52 AM
Kazuya

I'm sure they didn't want to get innocent people getting interned etc., just the guilty guys.

But then again I'm Irish.

... and I was showered with glass from an IRA bomb that want off just off Oxford Street in the early 90's. But I don't hold that against anyone, in particular.


Well I'm not a provo or anything but I don't think I'd trust any British security agency to find "the bad guys". Up until very recently they buggged phone lines and people in the Republic without any Irish Govt knowledge. Theres far too much cold war/IRA baggage in your secret services and I don't think it helps peace up the north anyway.
 
2006-04-28 05:40:11 AM
Angostura: ... and I was showered with glass from an IRA bomb that want off just off Oxford Street in the early 90's. But I don't hold that against anyone, in particular.

---

I call shenanigans. Everyone knows only brown people who face Mecca five times a day set off bombs in crowded streets. White Christian people never do that, EVER.
 
2006-04-28 05:50:23 AM
Yankees Team Gynecologist

1:IRA = Catholic
2:Terrorists come in all shades and colors.
 
2006-04-28 05:57:13 AM
I went for an interview there once, answered a few questions, did their assault course, after a couple of times around the manager comes over to me and says "Oi, mate, no professionals." I said "I'm not a professional". He said "Well, you should be mate, with moves like that you could be the best in Britain". I said, "No thanks I'm making shiatloads from computers"
 
2006-04-28 05:57:19 AM
Kazuya: Up until very recently they buggged phone lines and people in the Republic without any Irish Govt knowledge.

That'd be because they're spies. Should they have written and asked permission first?
 
2006-04-28 05:59:19 AM
LegacyDL: IRA = Catholic

bzzzt

PIRA (original IRA no longer exists) = Mostly Maoists, now mostly drug dealers.
 
2006-04-28 06:00:57 AM
"Up until very recently they buggged phone lines and people in the Republic without any Irish Govt knowledge"

This is the kind of what spies do dumbass
 
2006-04-28 06:12:23 AM
Kazuya

In real life the British secret forces are scum



Your name has now been added to "the list". Please remain seated and do not make any sudden movements until you have been "collected".
 
2006-04-28 06:38:00 AM
lol @ all the potential CIA agent candidates in just this one thread. What are the f'n odds of that?
 
2006-04-28 06:40:26 AM
Ooh gosh, what jolly exciting stuff, though I'd probably end up with a desk job, and making coffee for control.

http://www.geocities.com/mmemym/bits1/fal0063.htm
 
2006-04-28 06:46:19 AM
Well I was interviewed for MI7 and the CIA, though few have heard of MI7. I got picked up for a more clandestine service...that's all I can say other than I bang more hot pussy on a single mission than more men see in a lifetime.
 
2006-04-28 06:47:07 AM
Damn. Are they hiring Americans, or just Brits?
 
2006-04-28 06:49:46 AM
Kazuya: Up until very recently they buggged phone lines and people in the Republic without any Irish Govt knowledge.

That'd be because they're spies. Should they have written and asked permission first?


Thats ok. As long as they're good ol' spies and not the bad guys.
 
2006-04-28 06:53:49 AM
Ehh Big Dunc what did you mean by calling PIRA maoists? I know the shinners swing to the left but I think the term "maoist" is a bit extreme
 
2006-04-28 06:56:27 AM
Read "The Big Breach" by Richard Tomlinson, before you make the interview.
 
2006-04-28 07:12:03 AM
Aljazeera.net knows that the Brits are looking for spys? That's just crazy talk.
 
2006-04-28 07:32:07 AM
License to kill sold separately

www.cojeco.cz
 
2006-04-28 07:47:14 AM
LegacyDL

"1:IRA = Catholic
2:Terrorists come in all shades and colors."



Whoooooooooosh.


/the sound of sarcasm flying over LegacyDL's head
 
2006-04-28 07:57:19 AM
Kazuya

Well I'm not a provo or anything but I don't think I'd trust any British security agency to find "the bad guys". Up until very recently they buggged phone lines and people in the Republic without any Irish Govt knowledge.

And I'm not a British establishment stooge (honest), but in terms of clandestine bugging, well I suppose that's pretty much what secret services do. And you have to admit that "without any Irish Govt knowledge" can be, in certain circumstances rather convenient for the Irish govt. Rather like the British Govt.'s complete lack of knowledge (no, really) about CIA air transportation of terrorist suspects through the country was rather convenient. Ahem
 
2006-04-28 08:02:06 AM
LegacyDL

I think your sarcasm detector is malfunctioning.
 
2006-04-28 08:06:45 AM
Angostura Well I agree with all that. Still damn opposed. It makes govt's just as bad a terrorists.
 
2006-04-28 08:07:10 AM
I went for an interview there once, answered a few questions, did their assault course, after a couple of times around the manager comes over to me and says "Oi, mate, no professionals." I said "I'm not a professional". He said "Well, you should be mate, with moves like that you could be the best in Britain". I said, "No thanks I'm making shiatloads from computers"


I'm picturing the "Don't worry, m'am, I'm from the internet!" guy.
 
2006-04-28 08:07:59 AM
Sigh.

I got kicked out of the POM "A" school after I got into a fight. There went my chance to join the NSA and shtuff.

Maybe a good thing anyway. I'm sure they need more Farsi linguists than Russian these days.
 
2006-04-28 08:09:06 AM
Internet sarcasm, sigh lol.
 
2006-04-28 08:10:10 AM
Well, Kazuya, one way to look at it is thusly... The IRA or whichever splinter group you wish to base this hypothetical situation around, was planning to bomb somewhere on British soil, so the government had to send some of its covert agents to find out where they planned to attack, so they could stop the attack and save lives. Sometimes spies have to do pretty underhand things, but the end justifies the means usually. There are some really nasty practices they can use which I don't ever agree with, but phone tapping people is not one of them, provided of course they have a reason to suspect those people they're tapping are involved in some way. They didnt just look for "Patrick MacGowan" and tap his phone with no other evidence.
 
2006-04-28 08:10:19 AM
Bripe Klmun:"lol all the potential CIA agent candidates in just this one thread. What are the f'n odds of that? "

Funny, I was thinking exactly the same thing!
 
2006-04-28 08:20:02 AM
sn stain - so your saying you bang hot women when you're on a mission, but the rest of the time it's mostly men???

Makes me re-think the whole hero-worship thing I had going for 007...
 
2006-04-28 08:26:26 AM
Tombalom .. nice "The Office" reference
 
2006-04-28 08:44:30 AM
Al2001
A sarcasm dectector, that's a real useful invention!
 
2006-04-28 08:44:44 AM
submitter: MI6 is now accepting applications

I don't know - rumor has it that Tom Cruise is a total biatch on the set.
 
2006-04-28 09:08:07 AM
From TFPicture caption: "MI6 is United Kingdom's foreign affairs spy branch"

Ric?
 
2006-04-28 09:24:18 AM
oldfarthenry

submitter: MI6 is now accepting applications

I don't know - rumor has it that Tom Cruise is a total biatch on the set.


True but craft services has placenta helper. mmmmmm mmmmm that's good eatin.
 
2006-04-28 09:37:33 AM
I have several letters from the NSA thanking me for applying etc. Never heard back from them, too bad really I was very interested in the job. I just think it is funny they have stationary.
 
2006-04-28 09:59:17 AM
I don't know if they'l take me..I mean I like cowboy hats, boots and Jack Daniels. I also imagine posting on fark is an immediate disqualification.
 
2006-04-28 10:26:24 AM
So MI6 ends their sentences in prepositions? Tut tut.
 
2006-04-28 11:01:21 AM
I almost applied for CSIS (Canadian spy agency) but then thought better of it because it would be incredibly dull since they don't officially operate outside our borders (probably relying on CIA intelligence from overseas).

Nothing like a deaddrop in a Tim Hortons
 
2006-04-28 11:18:28 AM
therecksays: True but craft services has placenta helper. mmmmmm mmmmm that's good eatin.

You should try the placenta-poppers.. Sweet.
 
2006-04-28 11:27:04 AM
LegacyDL: 1:IRA = Catholic
2:Terrorists come in all shades and colors.


Thank you, that was the joke.

Anyone else think that the way they displayed the map makes the lower right-hand corner look like a gigantic unhealthy fake boob?

english.aljazeera.net

/that oughta fulfill my childishness quota for the next few weeks...
 
2006-04-28 01:43:08 PM
Of course they usually recruit by going to Cambridge university and signing up the nearest upper-class homosexual communist but times have changed.
 
2006-04-28 02:35:37 PM
If we're all laying our cards on the table...

My 'chat' at Cambridge (die Summerisle!) painted the following picture:

Get attached to an embassy; entertain trade lobbies; gather/use intelligence to intitiate a fast track relationship (not that kind) with one of the party; exploit that relationship for gain.

As a lawyer, I do pretty much the same thing anyway.

Pay's better though, and I travel more frequently.
 
2006-04-28 02:59:03 PM
Kazuya: Ehh Big Dunc what did you mean by calling PIRA maoists?

Oops. I had misunderstood something I'd read. On checking it out I see that it's the paramilitary tactics that they employed that were maoist in origin, rather than their political ideology. My bad.
/Kudos on getting the big duncan reference by the way
 
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