If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Think Spain)   Spanish Socialist Party introducing a bill to give apes the same rights as man. Charleton Heston heard shouting "You maniacs"   (thinkspain.com) divider line 143
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

3555 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2006 at 10:04 AM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



143 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2006-04-26 10:45:36 AM
C1ofUnknown: While some non-human apes, are very intelligent (most notably, the chimpanzee), there really is no point in granting them equal rights. I'd doubt they'd use them

From what I have read this is not about Apes voting or getting welfare so much as making it illegal to torture any animal capable of expressing 'Please do not spray oven cleaner into my eyes' clearly in recognizable language.
 
2006-04-26 10:46:46 AM
C1ofUnknown

Humans are apes? I never knew that.

What did you think we are? I aint no duckbilled platypus ;)

Humans, or human beings, are biologically classified as bipedal primates belonging to the mammalian species Homo sapiens (Latin for "wise man" or "thinking man") under the family Hominidae (the great apes).[1] Humans have a highly developed brain capable of abstract reasoning, language, and introspection. This, combined with an erect body carriage that frees their upper limbs for manipulating objects, has allowed humans to make greater use of tools than any other species.

from wiki (not always the best source, but this entry is pretty good)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human
 
2006-04-26 10:48:04 AM
*shudder*

As a card-carrying monkeyphobe, this terrifies me.

I love all animals, but monkeys/primates? I wish they would all just go away. [I've seen too manythings about monkey/ape attacks in the last few days, also.]
 
2006-04-26 10:48:35 AM
Equal rights for Dynamite Monkeys NOW!

/no taunting
 
2006-04-26 10:48:45 AM
Well, you don't really have rights without the ability to claim them, so I would put this on hold until some apes form a coalition to demand their rights.
/any moment now...
 
2006-04-26 10:48:57 AM
I, for one, honestly do think that Bonobo chimps at the very least should have the same rights as mentally disabled humans. Come on, they use tools and they're habitually bipedal... That's close enough to a person in my book.
 
2006-04-26 10:51:56 AM
Does this mean that apes will now be prosecuted for public masturbation?
 
2006-04-26 10:52:05 AM
People:

http://species.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_sapiens

Extended family:

http://species.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hominidae

Evolution is not a joke, biologists classify humans as a species of animal with no apology.
 
2006-04-26 10:52:34 AM
Proof of why liberalism(socialism) is a mental disorder.....
 
2006-04-26 10:52:40 AM
didn't RTFA, but how many apes do they have in Spain?

on second thought, maybe that's not a good question to ask...
 
2006-04-26 10:55:05 AM
Oldiron_79: Proof of why liberalism(socialism) is a mental disorder.....

Man, if a US Republican can't get behind chimps participating in the electoral process, what chance does this have?
 
2006-04-26 10:55:18 AM
You must remain true to ze Taliban varlord...
 
2006-04-26 10:58:42 AM
...biologists classify humans as a species of animal with no apology.

Oh this is such utter BS.

I've often seen humans apologize. This is clearly within our range of ability.
 
2006-04-26 10:58:44 AM
Good ol Grape Ape. Thanks for the laugh fish.
 
2006-04-26 10:58:55 AM
its about time they have a civil rights movement over there
 
2006-04-26 11:02:37 AM
Did anyone ask the apes if they want to be people?

As it stands, I'd say the chimps got the sweet part of the deal. All they have to do is eat, have sex and laze about in trees; meanwhile people have to deal with tax-returns, politicians and waiting in line at the supermarket.
I know what I'd choose if I had the option.
 
2006-04-26 11:05:30 AM
What gall!!

Did anybody think of asking the apes if they even wanted this?

/Stupid socialists.
 
2006-04-26 11:08:18 AM
Chuck's damn dirty apes in wav goodness:
http://www.dailywav.com/1099.php (pops)
 
2006-04-26 11:08:33 AM
Theobold Holsopple

Do those Uplift books get any better? I read the first 3 or 4 and they were OK, but I lost interest.
 
2006-04-26 11:08:52 AM
As it stands, I'd say the chimps got the sweet part of the deal. All they have to do is eat, have sex and laze about in trees; meanwhile people have to deal with tax-returns, politicians and waiting in line at the supermarket.
I know what I'd choose if I had the option.


www.sadgeezer.com
"I'll tell you one thing, if the primates that we came from had known that someday politicians would come out of the gene pool, they'd've stayed up in the trees and written evolution off as a bad idea ... I always thought the opposable thumb was overrated."
 
2006-04-26 11:10:06 AM
The apes in spain fap mainly on the plain
 
2006-04-26 11:12:29 AM
If apes are given the same rights, shouldn't mice, rabbits, rats and guinea pigs too?
 
2006-04-26 11:16:18 AM
This disturbs me on a few levels. However, I'm surprised the hard-core evolutionsists aren't defending this more. I mean, if we are descended from apes then we might as well give our ancestors the same rights. And if people want to marry apes? Well then, why not? It is the logical progression of the "we came from monkeys" opinion.

No, I'm not completely serious. Just fanning some as-of-yet non-existent flames.
 
2006-04-26 11:18:57 AM
Ahh, so the apes threatened to bomb the subways? I hear that's all you have to do and the whole country of Spain drops trou and grabs their ankles.
 
2006-04-26 11:19:47 AM
herne
touche.
 
2006-04-26 11:20:17 AM
Charlie Was A Man.

/probably obscure.
 
2006-04-26 11:22:32 AM
mrdctaylor: However, I'm surprised the hard-core evolutionsists aren't defending this more.

That's because the "hard-core" evolutionists, who make up the vast majority of earth's population, know a crazy idea when they see one.
 
2006-04-26 11:24:33 AM
I know this is Fark, but how do people make the jump from giving apes rights to monkeys and people openly masturbating in the streets?
Maybe these socialists go too far, but the article only gives a brief and vague idea of what they were asking for. The Great Ape Project (which is maybe what they were emulating) aren't trying to give apes equal rights to humans like voting, etc. but trying to give them rights to life, individual liberty, and prohibiting torture.

Great Ape Project declaration
 
2006-04-26 11:24:41 AM
"Ahh, so the apes threatened to bomb the subways? I hear that's all you have to do and the whole country of Spain drops trou and grabs their ankles."

I take it you've never heard of gorilla warfare...
 
2006-04-26 11:24:54 AM
I realize that Spanish men are quite hairy, but isn't it a bit harsh for one's own goverment to classify its own citizens as apes?
 
2006-04-26 11:27:43 AM
I know this is Fark, but how do people make the jump from giving apes rights to monkeys and people openly masturbating in the streets?


You might as well as "Why is the sky blue?" or "Where does poop go?"

Because if taking something to its logical end is good, taking it FURTHER, to its illogical (and frequently hilarious) end MUST be better.
 
2006-04-26 11:28:14 AM
pinguin

Well, you don't really have rights without the ability to claim them, so I would put this on hold until some apes form a coalition to demand their rights.


To be fair, the same could be said of the mentally handicapped. Should we also consider them less than human? Not saying I support the whole equal rights for apes thing, just something to ponder.
 
2006-04-26 11:33:06 AM
bbcrackmonkey: That's because the "hard-core" evolutionists, who make up the vast majority of earth's population, know a crazy idea when they see one.

You'd think so, wouldn't you? If someone tells me that all living things on Earth developed from some primordial puddle of goo, that sounds pretty crazy to me...
 
2006-04-26 11:33:08 AM

Well, that's what you get for listening to those crazy evolutionists.


If man's an ape, then an ape's a man. Simple logic. Even a dogmatic darwinist can comprehend that.


Now, all of you who oppose this legislation (and that's pretty much everyone posting here), should accept the truth and let it be taught in our schools.


Praise and glory, for you have all seen the light.

 
2006-04-26 11:33:41 AM
pinguin

Well, you don't really have rights without the ability to claim them, so I would put this on hold until some apes form a coalition to demand their rights.
/any moment now...


Not really true, for example do you lose all rights if you get hit by a car and fall into a coma today, or can they be exercised on your behalf by interested parties?
 
2006-04-26 11:34:25 AM
Your dog wants control of the means of production.
 
2006-04-26 11:37:09 AM
mrdctaylor: You'd think so, wouldn't you? If someone tells me that all living things on Earth developed from some primordial puddle of goo, that sounds pretty crazy to me...

Yeah, a God that turns into a Jew so he can be whacked by Italians to appease his own anger is way more likely.
 
2006-04-26 11:37:18 AM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAND... the evolution flamewar is back on!

That's it, thread's over. Fun while it lasted.
 
2006-04-26 11:40:25 AM
2006-04-26 10:52:34 AM Oldiron_79

Proof of why liberalism(socialism) is a mental disorder.....

Liberalism is not socialism. Especially in Europe. Liberalism is freedom and rights. Socialism is wealth redistribution and equality. And no political ideology is a mental disorder, not even Nazism (however screwed up it may be).

/liberal, not socialist
//communism is bad even in theory
//yeah, the ape thing is stupid
 
2006-04-26 11:43:40 AM
BTW, not every discussion about evolution has to degenerate into a flamewar. I'm not trying to do that. What I'm trying to do is simply point out the fact that this is the next step in the "we came from monkeys" philosophy.

Besides, I don't have to be right about evolution/creation to believe in God. It is not required.
 
2006-04-26 11:44:50 AM
mrdctaylor
You'd think so, wouldn't you? If someone tells me that all living things on Earth developed from some primordial puddle of goo, that sounds pretty crazy to me...

But that's the beauty of science - it is so often even crazier and more beautiful than what we dream up.

And as for the whole issue of marrying apes, they are a seperate species. The idea that giving them some rights will lead to us intermarrying is ridiculous.
 
2006-04-26 11:46:07 AM
Animal Rights Nutjobs have been advocating this malarky for years

But no one likes them

/Dirty Hippies=Dirty Apes?
//Just maybe
 
2006-04-26 11:47:54 AM
bennifer
Ridiculous? This is straight from the article:

The socialist PSOE party is apparently intent on introducing a bill aimed at giving apes the same rights as man, "and the immediate inclusion of these animals as people."

If they are included as people, then it follows that marriage would be allowed.
 
2006-04-26 11:49:52 AM
Wooooooooh Spanish Chimp Marriages
 
2006-04-26 11:51:38 AM
I am wondering though...will this make monkey knife fights legal or will they still have to be done in international waters?

/They'll never know the joys of a monkey knife fight
 
2006-04-26 11:54:18 AM
mrdctaylor
If we go so far as to say that apes are people, then sure. But that's an idiotic idea. They aren't humans. Humans aren't chimpanzees, orang utans or gorillas. We are all part of the same family of animals, but that doesn't mean that we are the same species. Saying that marrying apes is a direct extension of evolutionary theory is wrong.
 
2006-04-26 11:56:55 AM
They deserve them more than corporations do, and they'll certainly do less damage with them.
 
2006-04-26 11:57:41 AM
Smithers, this monkey is going to need most of your skin.
 
obz
2006-04-26 12:01:49 PM
i7.photobucket.com

What, insurance isn't enough?

/booooo!
 
2006-04-26 12:03:52 PM
Adman12: I'm waiting for the first human-ape mixed marriage.


Humans are a species of ape.
 
Displayed 50 of 143 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report