From TFA:
Meanwhile, other political commentators have stated that as a result of these measures, it will not be long before apes names will start appearing on the electoral rolls.

Methinks it's been happening for years already.

/obvious

Looks like they'll have to pay the US to do their medical research then. Or just use untested drugs.

god damn you all to hell!!!

Wanted for questioning.

This Bishop has a point- if you start by protecting apes with these extreme measures, eventually you might have to stop torturing bulls.

I for one am fine with it, as long as those nekkid apes get arrested for indecent exposure, or lewd and lascivious conduct when they jerk their shiat in public.

Wasnt the topic of ape rights brought up in one of yesterdays flamewars? Woo.. freaky. It's like the universe is psychic or something.

Get your stinking laws off me you damned dirty ape!!!



/punny enough for you?

If you are caught by the gorillas, remember one thing?

What's that?

Never to speak!

What would I have to say to a gorilla?

when they jerk their shiat in public.

I do believe the 'jerk' part and the 'shiat' part are seperate maneuvers. Though I would pay good coin to see the combo act.

Unavailable for comment?

Only if this goes both ways!

Apes get the same rights as men, I want the same rights as apes.

Yeah, thats right, I want as many bananas as I can eat, sex as a form of greeting and a poop flinging allowance!

So will they get charged for public masterbation too?

One might argue that man has married ape already, if you consider Tom and Roseanne Arnold.

/Which is which? I leave that question to the philosophers.

"In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey- the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey farks'll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image....OH and only those as super smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry - DAMN YOUS. Goddamn yous all to hell!!"

/not on my watch.
//Roswell Style

Don't certain types of monkey get 401k plans if they're lab experiment animals? I read that somewhere.

and the rest of the world thinks americans have too much free time ... ha!

uptonogood: and the rest of the world thinks americans have too much free time ... ha!

No, they pretty much think you are assholes. Europeans are the ones with free time.

The submitter is A. Cock!

/fulfilling request in this thread to tell everyone who submitter was ;P

An old favorite:

Dennis_Moore: "In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey- the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey farks'll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image....OH and only those as super smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry - DAMN YOUS. Goddamn yous all to hell!!"


OH. MY. GOD.
How did I, of all people, not catch that one?

Begun this Uplift War has.

Will gay apes be allowed to adopt?

I'm waiting for the first human-ape mixed marriage.

Well spotted, Adman12. We all know that gay marriage leads to bestiality. Gay marriage supporters tried to deny it, but here is more evidence! We also know that gay marriage was recently legalized in Spain, and here they are trying to get apes the same rights as humans. One would assume that these "rights" will include marriage. It's the homosexual/bestiality agenda in action!

Socialists are the crraaaziest peoples.

krelborne: Well spotted, Adman12. We all know that gay marriage leads to bestiality. Gay marriage supporters tried to deny it, but here is more evidence! We also know that gay marriage was recently legalized in Spain, and here they are trying to get apes the same rights as humans. One would assume that these "rights" will include marriage. It's the homosexual/bestiality agenda in action!

I blame the Bonobos. Those little whores are begging for it.

Goodness krelborne, your statement makes my blood run cold...I think the "gay furries" are behind this.

binnster: The submitter is A. Cock!

Damn you binnster! Damn you all to hell!

If you think about it all a gorilla is si a hairy, mute, retard. They have the intilect of a child and are capable of language.

I don't think giving them full rights is the way to go, but they deserve more rights than a hampster.

Will equal numbers of apes be admitted to colleges?

Good thing it's apes, not bears.



"Get your paws off me, you damn dirty grizz!"

Inevitable outcome.

What about yard apes & porch monkeys?

What's wrong with people?

Sure, animals are great. But they're not equal to us. I'm all for treating them as well as possible. But when it comes down to it - if some of them need to die to save humans, they get the axe.

"Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape."

Cornelius: [reading from the sacred scrolls of the apes] Beware the beast man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him, for he is the harbinger of death.

bbcrackmonkey

Damn you binnster! Damn you all to hell!


Tee hee!

Great! Rights for apes, but not the Basques? Maybe they should start blowing shiat up again.

Legalize Gorilla Marriage NOW!

/slippery slopes are for skiing

it will not be long before apes names will start appearing on the electoral rolls

The Socialists know who the apes would vote for.

Article is from "Think Spain", which would be good advice for them.

Humans are apes:

Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Superfamily: Hominoidea
Family: Hominidae
Subfamily: Homininae
Tribe: Hominini
Genus: Homo
Species: H. sapiens


The family Hominidae means "great apes"

hail to the chimp!

Humans are apes? I never knew that.

While some non-human apes, are very intelligent (most notably, the chimpanzee), there really is no point in granting them equal rights. I'd doubt they'd use them.

Slipperly slope? This is from Spain, not China...

BobtheFascist: Socialists are the crraaaziest peoples.