He could come here. He'd probably be an average driver in Boston.

Nine lifetimes? I think I know who the driver is:

According to the article, the driver was "being bars" after getting done for drink driving again... they chained him to a hole in the wall at the prison?

So? Lots of people get busted that have been banned from driving. Which means they still do it.

Off with their heads, that'll teach them!

He is Scottish, and he's still crap!
/Can't believe I just said that

Huh. There's hope for me yet.

DRINK DRIVER BANNED FOR LIFE

Huh, I didn't know you could drive a drink.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out the back of his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! Why do you have a steering wheel up your bum?"

The pirate replies, "Arr! It's drivin' me nuts!"

/ba-dum-tiss!
//going to bed now

uttertosh: Way to show him there Mr Judge, that extra ten years is bound to curb his drink drive shennanigens once and for all !!!!1!

That'll be a compulsory sentence, even when it makes no sense. Being jailed for 14 months might teach him a little bit though...

...nah, he'll be drink driving again within days of release

In Texas, they put you away for many years after #3 or #4, depending on how good your lawyer is.

Honest Bender: what's with all the "drink driving" BS? It's called drunk driving people. Because you're drunk while driving. Although drinking while driving is also illegal. But I still wouldn't call that drink driving. Drink driving just sounds gay. There I said it. It's gay.

Because "drunk driving" implies to the feeble minded that it's ok to have a couple of beers, a whisky chaser and hop behind the wheel because "I don't feel drunk"

Drink driving is a contraction of drinking and driving and makes perfect sense. At lest more sense than burglarize.

Wow. So this is totalfark...

/jk, I know I have to explore

How long is that in American years?

I dunno. It's worth it.

Billy Joel has a great lawyer and can get that sentence cut in half like that.

FluffyPanda

Haha, I watched a crappy old film with Dick van Dyke in it over the weekend, and they said burglarize about 20 times with totally straight faces.

He also claimed he had never caused an accident - shortly before smashing into a police car.


"I am not a dick" he said, immediately before transmuting into a giant penis.

So this is this dude's bazillonth conviction for the same offense? Brilliant. So nobody figured "huh, maybe this isn't working" when he showed up in court the previous eight times?

The guy obviously has a problem. Why not just park an unmarked police car in front of his bar/his house? The second he puts the keys in the ignition, they arrest him and put him in a holding cell. He gets out after a couple of days and sees the same cop car parked outside his house. After a while, he'll either get a DD/walk/take a cab/go to a AA meeting/whatever or find his ass in jail again. Either way, problem solved - nobody gets hurted, no car chases, no crashing into cop cars. Everybody's happy.

FluffyPanda

Who the hell has trouble driving after two beers and a shot of whiskey?

I'm a little disappointed. No references to that black guy that has so many public intox arrests. You know the guy, very snappy dresser.

From further down that list on other news items, The worst song lyrics ever.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=16957786%26method=full%26siteid= 66633%26headline=the%2dworst%2dlyrics%2din%2dthe%2dworld%2d%2dever-name_page.h tml

/Sorry for the threadjack but evidently they never heard of the Beastie Boys.

CaesarSneezy

Who the hell has trouble driving after two beers and a shot of whiskey?

I bet I would. I've never drank alcohol. No bourbon, no scotch, no beer. I don't know why. Some of my friends have tried to get me to drink on the theory I would be more interesting. On the other hand, everybody I know would be on my side if I got in trouble for drinking, like drunk driving, just because they know I avoid alcohol like an muslim avoids porn.

/Yeah, I know... "What are you doing on Fark.com?

I find it hard to understand how someone could have never touched alcohol. Aren't you curious? Were you permanently grounded as a teenager?

CaesarSneezy: Who the hell has trouble driving after two beers and a shot of whiskey?

Nobody has trouble driving, everybody loses a half-second off their reaction time that might make the difference between having the football that was just kicked into the road bounce off your bonnet, or the kid that was chasing it.

LadyJ: I find it hard to understand how someone could have never tried bestiality. Aren't you curious? Were you permanently grounded as a teenager?

/drinks
//Not too much
///Not a drop if I'm driving
////Slashie addict though

FluffyPanda

...the difference between having the football that was just kicked into the road bounce off your bonnet, or the kid that was chasing it.



?

I forgot to mention that kids ruin everything fun.

Here's a solution: take away the guy's car. If the car doesn't belong to him and someone let him drive it the car still goes (for being a dumbass and giving this idiot the keys). And if he took the car without permission, grand theft charges.

Pretty farking simple IMHO

We've got a problem here in Ottawa with a jerk who killed a family while drunk. Little b@stard name Matt Brownlee (too lazy to find the link). Still drinking and driving and the govt hasn't managed to stop him. Argh!

Wow.. worst driver in Scotland.

So the other one doesn't drink? Or just hasn't been caught as often?

FluffyPanda

I find it unbelievable that you've never tried a really strained analogy? Aren't you curious? Were you permanently grounded as a teenager?

But what of the "worst bathroom in Scotland"?

Lady J

Nah, I was hardly ever grounded as a teenager. I guess it started out as my having clinical depression in my younger years. In the later teenage years, I convinced myself that I never wanted to lose control of myself (or give that control away), which meant not getting wasted/no drugs. Around 21, I guess it was just habit, because at that point I could have drank for 3 or 4 years had I wanted.

Every now and then, I get tempted. Maybe two or three times a year. But something about the time of my being tempted usually scares me. Like moving and not being able to find a job for two months. As if the reason I'm being tempted is the same reason I never tried it.

I dunno. I could probably go on for a couple hours about the whole philosophy side of this. I've only seen weed once, smelled it a couple times while walking past an alley. Never tried tobacco. Most of my knowledge of drugs comes from Job Corps students I've known.

FluffyPanda

Baa means no

Who the hell has trouble driving after two beers and a shot of whiskey?


Stevie Wonder.

Oh this is nothing for us. The Scottish authorities have been trying, unsucessfully, to ban the actress who played the little girl in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4909728.stm[pops]

Who the hell has trouble driving after two beers and a shot of whiskey?

The legal limit here in the UK is 2 units of alcohol, or (as figured) 1 imperial pint of regular-strength beer or lager, or 1 large glass of wine, or 2 regular (25ml) measures of spirits.

Inflatable Jesus wins the thread.

In the future some 18 year old is going to get angry when he discovers he can't get a license because he discovers he was "Worst driver in Scotland" in a previous lifetime.

/discovers
//discovers
///discovers

Even then he refused to stop and led officers on a two-mile chase through the centre of Blairgowrie.

That must have been the most exciting thing to happen there in years.

ebwilford: The legal limit here in the UK is 2 units of alcohol, or (as figured) 1 imperial pint of regular-strength beer or lager, or 1 large glass of wine, or 2 regular (25ml) measures of spirits.

No it isn't.

The legal limit is not measured in units, but in volume in blood or breath. A pint might push you over the edge, it might not, depends on if you've eaten, what your body mass is, etc, etc.

I don't think it's worth the risk personally, either of being caught or of causing an accident and having to live with the "what if?"

CaesarSneezy: ?

Bonnet = Hood for the americans in the thread. Not exactly much different... They're both things that cover your head (too lazy to post the GIS for hood)

FluffyPanda

I don't think it's worth the risk personally, either of being caught or of causing an accident and having to live with the "what if?"

True. Drunk driving is very dangerous. However, I can't see myself convicting someone of DWI (DUI- whatever) if they were pulled over with a .08 BAC, which is the legal limit in Texas.

CaesarSneezy He's British (probably). On the other side of the pond I thinkg they call it a hood.

CaesarSneezy: True. Drunk driving is very dangerous. However, I can't see myself convicting someone of DWI (DUI- whatever) if they were pulled over with a .08 BAC, which is the legal limit in Texas.

However, how do you know if you're at 0.9? Do you have to cary a breatholizer with you when you go to the pub?

I know I could handle a pint and still drive well, but I won't do it since it's a risk that I don't really need to take.

Can I have Fifty pounds to mend the shed?
I'm right on my Uppers.
I can pay you back
When I get this postal order from Australia
Honestly.
Hope the bladder trouble's getting better.
Love, Ewen?

Yup, that punishment was real effective.

Kinda like running from an unarmed policeman... "STOP!!!!! Or I'll yell STOP again!!!!"