Like my friend in St. John's once told me, you know it's spring when the icebergs come floating into the harbo(u)r.

I don't get it

Dammit, nfkiller, was that you?

nfkiller: Nope. It just went green, so I could not have submitted it.

I meant, were you the one who left the drain plugged?!?

/Hehehe, just kidding

NOLA, somewhere in the US, the Danube... NFland...
That's it- I'm building an ark. IF you bring 10 hot women you can come too.

SWEET!!! A Newfie joke thread!!!

Two newfies went to get pizza one night,on the way home they were pulled over for speeding. The cop went to the car and started asking questions. He looked in the back, saw the pizza, and asked "is that pizza hot?"

The driver said "No sir. We paid for that!"

Farking seal-killing bastids.

/Canadian
//kidding

ok, i've been away from canada for about 14 years, but when did newfies become newfs?

Newfoundland?

annoyed_grunt:

I love that breed. I've got one of them, and one Bernese. Walking them is like having two hairy Bhudda watching your back

I always thought it was Newfie, not Newf.

/Vancouverite

Newfoundland: Never been there, but met many wonderful women from there.

/unfortunately, none of them were taller than 4ft9in

newfieland is sinkin' and I don't know how to swim...

clgrin

My mom had 3 before she died. (well 4, one died and got replaced--a black, 2 landseers and the newest, a brown). They were the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd heaviest beings in the house, in order. I was #4. Despite that, they listened to me.

There's something extremely comforting about having 3 150lb+ dogs curled up at the foot of your bed at night.

"Newfie" & "Newf" are the same thing

SVenus
Newfoundland: Never been there, but met many wonderful women from there.
/unfortunately, none of them were taller than 4ft9in


Called spinners. Ya know, spin them like a top, you know when your . . . Guess you had to be there.

annoyed_grunt:

I find it equally as comforting to know I've got a dog to rescue me out of the water, and another to get me out of the snow. I'm friggin invisible to al threats of water.

nfkiller: every time I drive by that town, I call it Elbow.

Elbow is a small town in Saskatchewan. North of Moose Jaw and just a NorthEast of Eyebrow.

Slightly off-topic: I'm a Newfoundlander considering relocating to Ontario, basically for the stronger economy and lack of isolated atmosphere. Thoughts, advice?

ga362: Called spinners. Ya know, spin them like a top, you know when your . . . Guess you had to be there.

I'm inagining a whizzing, whistling noise, like you get when you blow into one of those spinning noisemaker dealies.

Also, you owe me a new keyboard.

who's makin' love to yo' ol' lady
while you were out clubbin' seals

A Texan visits Newfoundland and gets to chatting with one of the locals. The Texan begins to brag; "Back home my ranch is so large, I can get in my truck, drive all day, and still not get to the other end of the ranch. The Newfie answers; "Yeah, my old truck is like that too".

/groan.

Middle Arm?

Where, then, is Middle Leg?

What does a Newfie say when he loses his virginty?

Jeez dad, get off me, you are crushing my smokes.

/Canadian

BrianGoff
Slightly off-topic: I'm a Newfoundlander considering relocating to Ontario, basically for the stronger economy and lack of isolated atmosphere. Thoughts, advice?

My advice: try to remember not to leave your drain plug in. Ontarians don't take it kindly when you flood them out.

Seriously though, if you have technical skills move to the US. Better tax situation, better wages, better online shopping. And the weather in Toronto sucks beyond belief. The winter is too damn cold and messy. The summer is way too farking hot. It's a great city but I ain't ever living there again.

Clickzoom: Wouldn't that be more to the tune of "lor' t'underin jesus, da, get off me, yer crushin' me smokes?"

BrianGoff
Move to AB

BrianGoff

Don't listen to warnings of impending weather related doom about Toronto. The winter is nothing but for some reason the people down here seem to think an ice age is approaching when it gets below -5.

However if you want a killer economy check out Alberta. I know people there who are telling me unreal job related stories. If you want culture check out Montreal. If you want great weather and nature check out BC.

If you are set on Ontario though a few things. Your going to have a hard time (though not impossible) finding a job in Ottawa without being bilingual. If you move to Toronto be prepared to spend a lot of money on rent/lease, though apparently the food and gas is much cheaper (than St. John's at least).

If you want a medium size city with a good economy and without having to sell yourself to find a decent place to live check out places below Toronto; Waterloo, Kitchener, Guelph, London. Stay away from Windsor. Stay far away.

That's my advice anyway.

Irateape NOLA, somewhere in the US, the Danube... NFland...
That's it- I'm building an ark. IF you bring 10 hot women you can come too.

I thought at first you wrote "IF you build 10 hot women....
/watched too much 10 Commandments
//Newfie Robot chicks rule

Igloo: Ah I see we are familiar with the sweet dialects which come out of St Johns!

/Had to translate for the 'sutherners

Jument, I doubt BrianGoff would find Toronto's winters any worse then what he's used to.
Alberta does sound good; no provincial sales taxes, and lots of work.

dpgnome

Screw Alberta. BC is where it is at.

/okay... maybe Alberta

I work for the Newfoundland Provincial Government.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You dont.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers believe anything they hear.

Newfoundland: Never been there, but met many wonderful women from there.

/unfortunately, none of them were taller than 4ft9in

Hey! I'm 5'3", and on behalf of NL girls, I resent that!

(Well, not really)

I wonder how many Americans/other non-Newfies own Newfoundland dogs without ever learning how to pronounce the name correctly. Ah well, as long as they're happy with their big slobbery NewFINland (*cringe*) companions, I guess that's all that matters. :)

Toronto's winters are probably messier. Combine a foot of snow and two inches of salt and you get a nasty-ass slush that refuses to go anywhere for weeks at a time. At least in a smaller city it looks nice for a while.

Alberta? Oh come on. I guess if you work in the oil industry or you're a farmer - seriously what else is there in Alberta?

BC is like Ontario with more hippies. Much better climate IMHO. Vancouver isn't a great city IMHO - I don't know why but although I go there very often I never feel very comfortable. It just never seems like a welcoming place to me.

If you have the skills move to the US. Trust me. I do plan to retire to Canada (BC most likely) though. Canada will always be my home.

resident_weevil

Stop makin' fun of mah accent!

/south Louisiana mixed with a little New Jersey
//I heart short girls

Proud Newf/Newfie here (though a lot of folk prefer "Newfoundlander" and look at the word "Newfie" as being no better than "attractive and successful African-American", but I digress..)

Anyway, just wanted to say, long may yer big jib draw, me ol' cock.

oh, by the way, I didn't type ""attractive and successful African-American", I typed "reggin" backwards :)

Nasty word!

SWEET!!! A Newfie joke thread!!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't know whether to be proud of or disgusted at the fact that I live in the only culture in the world where ANY mention of it sets off a borderline-racist joke-telling contest.

Ah, home sweet home.

In case anyone was wondering, St. John's is still above water, barely.

Jument: I've lived in southern Ontario before and yeah, the summer's way too hot, but the winters I can deal with easily, having been raised in Newfoundland's shiatstorm winters.

Towona: I'm seriously considering Alberta too. Suggestions on specific locations there? Calgary, Edmonton, etc....?

Demon of the Fall: great advice. The specific place I'm thinking of is Ottawa (long story--friend's invited me to go move in and I'd like to get away from NFLD), but I've got some serious reservations because I speak marginal French at best. I'm not really interested in Toronto, and Montreal is fun to visit but I can't see myself living there. So, Alberta's appealing--I'm most interested in a strong economy...landscape or culture I don't really care about. By the way...Opeth is awesome.

My dad lived in Newfoundland for a while back in the 60's. He had always called them Newfs.

Come home, Newfoundlander
If you're a Newf, you'll wanna raise the roof again.

/obscure