Damn submitter I am so so sorry! I hope your boys come out of this ok!

Okay, saw the pic, and... um... HOW THE HOLY farkING HELL DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN? Is this the first case of spontaneous testicular teleportation in history?

/call 911
//expect to be the subject of an "Update" headline tomorrow

This thread sponsored by...

everyone commenting on the hairy twins

look, I don't like a razor all up ons, I always get cut. but that doesn't seem like such a problem anymore.

This thread is DEFFINITLY going to need a follow up tag!

Two screwdrivers. Force slats opposite ways. You'll be out in no time. Jeez.

//and I'm a GIRL.

You know, it won't be pleasant, but the "stand up very quickly" method would do wonders, And yes, we will demand video

lol

We'll bigz2k you had the balls to post the pic lets hope you keep them.

bigz2k: cameraphone, so its a bit blurry


What do you have, a V300? (That's what I have. And the camera on those is a piece of shiat.)

That said, are you un-stuck yet?

dude

vodka, a lighter, and a willing girl

i don't know if it would help, but it sure would be funny as shiat to see

interesting and informative too

Well, I WAS going to go to bed early tonight. Thanks Fark.

kmmontandon: I have nothing to contribute beyond cringing in sympathetic pain.

x2

holy shiat dude. i'm so sorry. i hope you've got painkillers.

if you're ever in Pittsburgh, i'll buy you a drink.

1) If you were farking in your boxers, how did your nutsac come out? Mine don't when I'm wearing undies...

b) Just pull them, pussy. It's not like you have a nut under there.

iii) Heat up the skin a bit. That usually makes mine a lot more pliable.

Where's the Spanish Inquisition with the Comfy Chair (TM) when you need it?

try punching it and jumping?

that worked for me last time.

/hello 911? yes, this time in a window.

You are going to die.

You need to pray to the Fark Squirrel for his divine wisdom in times like these.

bigz2k: that doesn't seem like such a problem anymore.

Welcome, Captain Obvious.

zabadu: Two screwdrivers. Force slats opposite ways. You'll be out in no time. Jeez.

//and I'm a GIRL.

Where exactly are those crewdrivers coming from? Besides, he doesn't want something to snap.

Here I found your solution NSFW

helioquake: Dude, shave your sack.

Don't. I don't like shaved sacks.

TrixieBelasco: the real one or FeBolas'.

the little berries in the drawing are the funniest thing I've seen in ages.

Well, I'm going to let my habit of humping wicker furniture die a quick death after this thread. Never knew my boys could be in such danger.

You pay those taxes for a reason.

/Call 911
//Use the force

Things I have learned from bigz2k:
Never, EVER sit naked on a slatted wooden chair. Thanks for learning that lesson for me.

Oh, and my best wishes to your sweetmeats.

NOW I'm getting sympathy pains. :(

Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?

Okay, stay calm...what you need is a beaver. No, no...the other kind.

Be sure to get a bucket for all the blood.

-matches to weaken the wood at the joints
-stick the pens inbetween the boards your stuck to pry them a biatchew on the coffee crystals
-pray to the pic of your parents you didnt commit a darwin

i'm female.

still. picture. ouchy.

What cliche will evolve from this?


probably something to do with ball-slats.

zabadu
I don't have screwdrivers nearby. And if I did go to retrieve them, what if the chair should happen to fall? No. not happening.

Okay... I've got the solution.

This is a very complicated and surgeon-like procedure, but I need you to do this to fix the situation:


Stand up.

Ku_No_Ichi: HOLY MOTHER OF JEEBUS HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH!!!

*Gasp choke wheeze*

So happy I don't have a yam bag or long meat curtains. That and I have a cloth chair.

Nomar feels your nuts....I mean pain....

OH SNAP!!!! DOOD!!! call 911 man if you have a phone in reach. does your local FD have an email? Someone call Rescue 911!

Well, Big2k, I do have some good news for you. As I'm here pretending to study for an Anatomy test (really!), It looks like you won't me stuck forever. Eventually, if you wedgethe boys in further, the blood supply will cut off and they'll turn black, wither off and die.

/Nothing lasts forever
//except great pictures and the internet

Holy crap.

hahahahahhaa

The guy I'm on the phone with now officially thinks I'm nuts.

haha nuts.