I'm gonna kick your ass. First, I'll throw a right, then a left before a couple gut shots. Then back to the head, and then I'll take a leg out and really start throwin. Ok, ready?

Well that takes me out of the Fark nuke pool.

I do believe that deserves a "Dumbass" tag.

OR SO THE GERMANS WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE....

damn

Partytime....

Oh yeah, I'm definitely gonna win the pool.

I've always said there weren't enough radioactive wastelands in the world. Remember kiddies, duck and cover.

So does this mean there will be a sig-alert on the Karakoram Highway?

I do believe India and Pakistan will solve our little Global Warming issue.

I don't like this. India and Pakistan are the wrong two countries to have nuclear missiles.

And their population problems at the same time.

I for one look forward to all the programming jobs this will open up.

Yeah, the countries with nukes should be like, Iceland and Switzerland er sumthin.

Stephenv: Programming jobs? Explain.

We seem to have entered a turbulent period of history.

Sigh..

(misses Y2K)

Kevbo: Frankly, no country in existance right now needs nukes. The human race has demonstrated that we can't keep them under control, so they need to be taken away, once and for all.

Let's hope we continue to have a history. (misses the Cold War)

We need a crack team of.. people.. to go steal the nukes and give them to an independant nation for safekeeping.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you guys making jokes about something this serious are clinically retarded

Why is the sign "we want war" in English?

Mmcoder: We're just having fun in the face of death!

CitronR: India is dominating the market in outsourced programming because they work for pennies a day or some crap. It's tough to compete against someone who lives in a shoebox with 5 other guys.

zdnet article

India needs to stop swinging its filthy uncircumcised dick around and get a grip.

This is farked up for so many reasons. Basically, Pakistan doesn't want a war because it will lose. This is precisely why India DOES want a war, because it'll kick Pakistan's ass. Meanwhile, the US doesn't want a war because if Pakistan's ass gets kicked it won't be able to help mop up the mess along the Afghan border anymore. This has been pissing India off anyway, so that's another reason for the aggression. Meanwhile, ironically, the Islamic militants, even though they're anti-India, basically have the same objective as India in this case -- i.e., to disrupt Pakistan's alliance with the US and to destabilize Pakistan in general. So even as India accuses Pakistan of collusion with the militants, India itself is playing into their hands.

Meanwhile, you have that Indian jackass George Fernadez "weeping" over Kashmiri Indian casualties even while he hypocritically ignores all the casualties in the very same region at the hands of the Indian government, whose UN-busting police-state atrocities are well-documented. (And let's ignore the thousand-plus Muslims butchered by Hindus in recent months of sectarian violence, which the Indian government has essentially reacted to passively.)

This shiat stinks so bad right now that I'm beginning to realize what the Ganges must smell like. I sincerely hope for all concerned that China, Russia and the US lay the smack down and tell India to back the fark down. Doesn't anyone else find it suspicious that while Pakistan keeps trying to get an international consensus going on Kashmir (to say nothing of various pre-existing UN resolutions), India keeps treating it as some sort of unilateral powerplay?

Mmcoder: I'd rather die laughing than in fear, friend.

Am I the only one this scares the crap out of?

Okay, let's say that the idiots in these two countries manage to get their people blown the fark up. Let us also say that this doesn't trigger a nuclear world war that only the cockroaches with suntan lotion would survive. What can people in, say, America expect if India and Pakistan are turned to into burning slag heaps? I realize the economy is going to take a serious nosedive, but how serious? Will the Pacific Ocean filter out the worst effects of the blasts, or should I invest in a rad-badge and radiation suit? What are some good guesses at the political and social ramifications of one of the most populous countries on earth basically committing suicide? I need some hard data, people.

At this point in time, I could use a little laugh. This is getting too serious. War on Terrorism. India/Pakistan War. Israeli conflict. This may be messy.

there won't be any invasion people, as soon as Musharraf(sp?) said that they reserve the right to toss a nuke first the possibility of war was over...

first of all, the Paki's will never invade first becuase they'd get their ass whooped...and second of all, if India invades first, then Musharraf will essentially believe (and India know that he believes) that he has carte-blanche to drop the bomb (although i doubt he'd be stupid enough to drop on a major city)....and since the Indians attacked first they pretty much 'asked for it'...

don't worry people, it's just a quick 'my dick is bigger than yours' contest...

I'm gonna go crawl into my dream world now.

Somehow I get the feeling that Osama is in some cave somewhere rubbing his hands together because this is exactly what he had planned. The entire Mid East is destablizing and there's not a damn thing in the world we can do to stop it.

Mmcoder: If we can't laugh in the face of tragedy, the terrorists have already brushed their teeth and gone to sleep.

*Sigh*
There goes the neighborhood - er... continent.

...strengthened his warning to Britons to leave the region, military planners in Delhi expressed confidence that a war would not boil over into a nuclear exchange.

A senior Indian official accused Britain, America and other western countries of "adding their weight to Pakistan's nuclear blackmail" by telling their citizens to leave.

"This is jumping the gun," he said. "Our intention is not to have an all-out war. It would be a limited action."

Famous last words.

Just a 'limited action.' Sorta like our little 'police action' in Vietnam, eh? Except with nukes and a few hundred million more people involved.

I mean holy fark. I didn't know China was supplying Pakistan with weapons. How can they say for certain that they know this little jaunt won't go out of control?

Tatasm: nukes are going to be used in Kashmir against the other guy's troops. That way they can keep rolling with the self-defense rhetoric.

Actually, for the last 20 years all the US military academy projects simulating a Paki-Indian war mostly started with a preemptive strike by the Pakistani, followed by an invasion of the Indian border to spread out the indian forces, which would then trigger an Indian counter-offensive along the other parts of the border, which would force troops to move against the counter-offensive leaving the invaded indian territory, and since Pakistan can't stop the Indian invasion, they drop 3-4 tac nukes on their own soil, go to international intervention, they nuked themselves on the defensive and have the 100% moral high ground for international support.

Interesting really.

ase las palomitas

Comfortably Numb: Very good point. There's a reason that there are so many Jewish, Black, Gay/Lesbian and various minority comedians - humor is a great way of dealing with adversity.
Some call it a twisted sense of humor, I call it dark hilarity :)

"This sucks much assco*ck. 'Ass' means 'donkey'"

In the spirit of dark comedy, I suggest it's time to rent Dr. Strangelove.

Vercingtorix - Heh, good idea.
Too bad I don't have my copy of "On the Beach" handy :P

All you sick people who want this war are going to be disappointed. India has already proposed a joint patrol of Kashmir and Pakistan will leap for the offer because they'll get beat silly if they refuse.

Crisis averted. Go home, nothing to see here.

oh yeah, and a SIGNIFICANT item of note; If the two exchange nuclear strikes, erm, the wind blows east predominantly. India will get something like 80% of the fallout from any localized nuclear detonations. Laf. And they wanna go to war. Laf. Calling the nuclear bluff. LAF.

Darwin gets ready for his busy season.

"India has assured Washington that its forces would give the American bases at Jacobabad, Pasni and Dalbandin close to the Afghan border a wide berth."

Sounds like they have a plan in place already. I guess they will flank from the Northern and Southern borders with a huge central column to divide the country in half. I wish I was a fly on the wall at Central Command these days, so much juicy info.

Ouch - Who WANTS this war?? Eh? Besides people who hate either Pakistanis or Indians? I musta missed something.

I hope you're right. I just don't see any diminution of aggressive rhetoric from either side.

I'm not too worried. I wan't the conflict to resolve peacably, but failing that I am secure in my knowlege that the worst case scenario is that my lifetime chance of cancer goes up like 0.02%. Oh, and all of Asia destabalizes (is it stabalized now?) and everything goes to hell. But besides the millions dead, the massive destruction, political unrest, and famine, I don't see too much bad coming of this.

Yeah... I'm feeling real good about this.

(Actually the radiation seriously doesn't concern me. The political consequences do.)

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned this yet:



I mean, c'mon!

I like him. Can we make him a new cliche?